Pride and Porters

by Charlotte Greene

  Suppressing her shock, Erin approached and extended a hand. “We’ve actually met before.”

  Anne was clearly taken aback, but she took Erin’s hand and shook it. “Yes, we have. Under somewhat unusual circumstances.”

  Aunt Eddie looked back and forth between them, clearly sensing something. “Oh? How strange! What a small world.”

  “What brings you here to the festival?” Erin asked.

  “I own this hotel,” Anne said simply.

  A long, awkward silence stretched out as Erin absorbed this information. The hotel was one of the nicest Erin had ever been in. Even having just seen the outside and the lobby, Erin could tell it would cost a small fortune to stay here. The smallest rooms would likely cost more than anything Erin could ever afford on her own. The idea that this woman owned it all was humbling, to say the least. Anne seemed to find her shock amusing. She was grinning, almost gloating.

  Erin made herself smile. “It’s incredibly beautiful.” She turned to her aunt. “Shall we go up to our room? I’m sorry, Anne, but it was a long drive.”

  “Of course!” Anne’s expression was still smug. “By all means.”

  Aunt Eddie still seemed confused, but she set her half-finished beer down and followed Erin out of the bar without any questions.

  When they’d returned to the safety of the lobby, Aunt Eddie touched her arm to stop her. “What on earth was that all about? When you saw her, you looked like you’d swallowed an egg! Who is she?”

  Erin shook her head, too shaken to think of something to explain herself. “It doesn’t matter.” Seeing her aunt’s stricken face, she gave a weak smile. “Really, Eddie, it doesn’t. And I don’t want to get into it right now, okay?”

  Her aunt gave her a long stare. “Okay. I’ll let it drop. I’m sorry if I made some kind of mistake talking to her.”

  “You couldn’t have known. Don’t worry about it.” She squeezed her aunt’s hand. “Now let’s go up to our room and relax for a while. There’s an opening reception in a few hours, and I want to have a long nap and a shower first.”

  Their room was stunning. A large gas fireplace with huge, comfortable-looking couches and oversized armchairs dominated the living room. One side of the room was entirely glass, with sweeping views of the town and mountains spreading out in front of them. She and her aunt stood there, simply staring, for a long moment, too stunned to do anything but stare.

  “Wow,” her aunt finally managed.

  “You said it.”

  “What do you suppose a room like this costs on average?”

  “More than I could ever afford, that’s for sure.”

  They were quiet a while longer, still staring out the window, and then her aunt seemed to shake herself awake.

  “If you’re going to take a nap, I think I’ll go out and explore the town a little. Do some shopping, poke around. I’ll be back before dinner. You don’t mind, do you? I know you’re not much of a shopper.”

  Erin shook her head. “You go ahead. I want to lie down for an hour or two. I’m worn out.”

  Each of them had a small bedroom off this main room, one on the far left and the other on the far right, the living room separating them for privacy. Each bedroom had a large en suite bathroom and a small gas fireplace. The bedrooms boasted similarly glorious views of the surrounding mountains, and once again, Erin simply stood and stared out the window for a long moment, too captivated to do anything else.

  Finally, she sighed and flopped down on the bed. She hadn’t slept well last night, and they’d gotten up early to avoid traffic in the canyon. Her face felt hot, almost feverish, from her fatigue, but she no longer felt sleepy. Now she was in that awkward liminal place between exhaustion and the effects of a second wind. Having pushed herself many, many times in her life, she knew it would be difficult to fall asleep now with the jittery anxiety coursing through her veins. Still, she closed her eyes, hoping to will herself to sleep if she couldn’t get there naturally.

  Something about seeing Anne had shaken her. Erin kept steering her mind away from dwelling on the encounter, but she couldn’t help but remember how she’d felt seeing her again. It had almost been like running into Darcy, but she didn’t know quite why. Certainly the woman reminded her of Darcy a little, but it wasn’t just that.

  After a long hour stewing and tossing over the encounter with Anne, Erin finally sighed and sat up, knowing she wouldn’t get any sleep now no matter how much she might need it. She rubbed her face, hard, and the beginnings of a pinching tension headache built in her temples.

  She climbed off the huge bed and went out into the little living room in search of coffee. A tiny kitchenette had a single-serving coffee machine and a mini fridge. Erin put a pod into the chamber of the coffeemaker and set it to brew before going back to gaze out the large living-room window again.

  With the city of Aspen stretching out around beneath her, and the mountains rising behind it in majestic, cold beauty, Erin couldn’t help but feel a little twist of envy in the pit of her stomach. People like Anne and Darcy could afford these kinds of views, these kinds of trips, any time they wanted them. Perhaps this realization, more than anything, had shaken her when she’d seen Anne. Like Darcy, Anne was part of all of this. Indeed, she owned the very view Erin was now enjoying. How could Erin ever hope to compete?

  Erin shook her head, disgusted with herself. Ever since her last encounter with Darcy, she’d been very careful not to allow herself to think in these terms. There was nothing between her and Darcy now, and never would be. No competition existed between her and Anne, because Erin wasn’t in the running for Darcy’s affections. Why should she care how little she stacked up against the other woman? Yet, even as she made these claims to herself, she knew she did care. She couldn’t help it. She simply didn’t like the idea of Darcy ending up with a woman like Anne. In fact, she didn’t like the idea of Darcy ending up with anyone except her.

  She felt a little sick. Even admitting this fact about Darcy to herself seemed like betrayal. She didn’t want to have these feelings anymore, yet suppressing them these last few weeks seemed to have made them stronger.

  She thought about calling Jen. This last few weeks, ever since Jen had returned from her trip, Erin had desperately wanted to talk to her about Darcy. In the past, when Erin had girlfriend problems, she discussed them with Jen first. Her problem with Darcy was more complicated than any relationship that had come before it. For one thing, as far as Jen or anyone else knew, nothing existed between the two of them—not now and not before. If she told Jen now, she would be admitting that she’d lied about Darcy all of those weeks they were in town. She couldn’t make herself do that now, since Jen apparently didn’t suspect a thing. Lottie clearly suspected, and even Charlie had seemed to sense something was going on before they left, but only Erin and Darcy knew the truth.

  She’d avoided telling Jen in part because she knew that bringing up Darcy would remind her sister of Charlie, and that was the last thing Erin wanted to do. As far as Erin was concerned, the sooner Jen forgot Charlie, the better. If that meant never telling Jen about her and Darcy, so be it, even if her lie of omission made her feel guilty about it forever. She probably deserved that. She should have told Jen the day after the first encounter in the cabin in Estes. It was too late now.

  Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little lonely with this decision. She didn’t have anyone to talk to about any of this. Tears prickled her eyes, and she cursed herself for being so weak.

  Hearing a sound at the door, Erin quickly wiped her eyes. Her aunt bustled in, carrying several bags, most of which appeared to be from various food stores. Erin’s smile felt tense and phony as she attempted to greet her aunt’s excitement with enthusiasm, but luckily Eddie was too wrapped up in her purchases to notice that Erin was faking it.

  With something like relief, Erin finally excused herself to go get ready for the opening reception, and when the door to her bedroom closed behind her, she shuddered with dr
ead.

  Sighing, she shook her head, once again disgusted with herself. This was going to be one of the most important weeks of her life. She needed to get her shit together and forget about Darcy. Determined now to do just that, she headed for the shower, hoping the hot water would revive her enough that she could get through the evening.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Erin woke up just before sunrise the next day. She was determined to get as much skiing in as possible this week, and only her mornings were free from festival activities. While Snowmass Resort wouldn’t open until later in the morning, several state-owned cross-country trails didn’t have opening hours, and she was headed to the nearest one just outside of the city.

  Last night’s reception had been a nice surprise. She hadn’t realized how nervous she’d been about being here until she and her aunt had headed downstairs. In the elevator, her hands had started shaking, almost as if she were about to give a speech. Then, when they’d finally walked into the bar where she’d found her aunt earlier, she’d almost instantly realized that just about everyone here was like her—small-time brewers trying to make a name for themselves. She’d agonized about what to wear for weeks now, only to realize upon seeing everyone that she needn’t have bothered. In fact, in her nicest button-up shirt and slacks, she was overdressed in a sea of denim and flannel.

  Someone had immediately called her and her aunt over to talk about BSB beer, and the rest of the night went smoothly. She’d had a little too much to drink, trying to sample something from everyone she met, but that was to be expected at a brewers’ festival. On the whole, the night had been easy, and she expected the rest of the week would be similar. Making contacts and friends with other brewers would be straightforward, and even if some of them were her competition, everyone here had the right to believe that they could win. Each beer she’d tried last night had been excellent. If the competition was up to her, she’d never be able to choose.

  The morning air was bitter and brisk, and the slight hangover she was nursing cleared as she waited for the valet to bring her aunt’s car. She and her aunt had brought downhill and cross-country skis as well as snowshoes, ready for anything they might feel like doing while they were here. Her aunt had decided to sleep in today, which was, to Erin, for the best. She needed a couple of hours to herself before the panels and receptions started for the day.

  Despite being the only person out here this morning, she had to wait a long time for the valet to finally bring her aunt’s Subaru around to the front, and as she drove to the trail, the sun was already starting to peak above the mountains around her. She was surprised to find another car parked at the trailhead, and when she climbed out of her aunt’s battered, muddy car, she saw that the other car was a very new-looking Mercedes SUV. It was jet-black and so clean, it might have been washed of mud and snow here in the parking lot. Erin grinned to herself. Only in Aspen could you expect to see a car like this parked at a trailhead.

  She took a few minutes to put on extra layers, check her backpack, and snap on her skis, but she was soon gliding up the long, sloping hill that started the trail, her breath frosting in the morning air. By the top of the hill, she had warmed up and was thrumming with exertion. Here, she had three directions to choose from, left and right and straight ahead. She paused to catch her breath and look down at her car before choosing a path to the left. She decided on that direction primarily because someone had been skiing here recently—probably the person with the Mercedes—and it was always easier to ski in someone else’s tracks than to break new ground, even in soft snow like this. She didn’t have a good trail map, either, so following someone else’s trail would also help her avoid getting lost.

  Her troubles began to fall behind her as she skied. It was always like this, and one of the reasons she loved spending time skiing and hiking. Outside, with this kind of natural beauty, her problems seemed small and insignificant, and the simple joy she felt seeing the snow and the trees lifted her spirits from her everyday life and heartache. It was, in fact, heartache she’d been feeling. She could admit that to herself, now. She hadn’t wanted to let herself fall for Darcy, but she had—she couldn’t deny it anymore. That, coupled with her worries for Jen, and now Lydia, had made it seem like she was falling apart lately. Even the good news about the loan her father was giving them hadn’t made things better, which was telling. As recently as last October, the money had been the only thing she thought she needed, and now it wasn’t enough. She didn’t know how her brewery would ever be enough for her again, and it would probably take longer for Jen to think that way again, too.

  She let her mind wander as she skied, her remaining worries dropping away with the pleasant warmth that coursed through her. It had been entirely too long since she’d been on a trail like this—hiking or skiing. Why didn’t she do something like this every chance she got? One of the biggest benefits to living in a state like Colorado was having access to beautiful places, and she’d been squandering the opportunity all winter. She vowed to at least go hiking every week for the rest of the season, no matter how busy they were at the brewery.

  As she relaxed into a smooth rhythm of motion, she found herself absorbed in memories of her earliest ski trips as a child. Her father had dragged all of them into the mountains as often as possible. It had been a disaster when they’d first started going, with both Jen and Erin complaining nonstop. Once they’d grown a little better at skiing, it had been much more fun, and then Lydia had started coming, too, and it was awful again. Still, their dad persisted, and eventually all three of them accepted that skiing and hiking were part of their lives. Whether they camped, hiked, or skied, depending on the season, the whole family did it together.

  Considering that they rarely saw their father during the week, these outings became a big deal to her as a little girl. No matter how busy he was at the restaurant, he always made time for at least two or three activities a month. This, more than anything, had eventually made their trips into the mountains something she looked forward to rather than dreaded. And when her sisters were old enough to refuse to go, just she and her father went together. Very likely that was why she’d fallen in love with all of this to begin with. Of course, that had changed with their estrangement, but luckily the love for nature had settled in her heart, and once she and her father stopped doing anything together, she’d simply gone on her own or with friends.

  A tiny part of her had realized somewhere along the trail that rather than one person, at least two had made the trail she was following in the snow. Occasionally, she saw two sets of ski tracks, and in several places the pole tracks indicated the same thing. She only noticed in part because she was still surprised to find anyone out here this early in the morning. Also, though it should have been obvious, it hadn’t occurred to her that she might run into the other skiers. She rounded a corner and saw them up ahead, peering over the side of a steep cliff on the left. They were absorbed in whatever they were staring at and, with the slight breeze, had neither heard nor seen her yet.

  Erin paused, startled, and then continued toward them. Trail etiquette dictated that she stop and say hello, at least, but on the other hand, neither she nor they would want to ski together, so this was her opportunity to get ahead of them a bit to put some distance between them. Both figures were slight, but tall, with the farther one a little taller than the one closer to Erin. Both of them were dressed in sleek, black ski gear, so new and nice it was reminiscent of their car in the parking lot some miles behind them.

  As Erin got closer, she opened her mouth simply to call out a greeting before moving on, but before she could, one of the figures turned toward her and touched the other person’s arm. The second head turned her way a moment later. They were both looking at Erin now, not saying a thing, and Erin realized they were waiting for her to stop. She sighed and turned a little to meet them. They’d skied a bit off the trail for the view. As she got within a few feet of them, she reached up to remove her goggles, and when she ca
me to a stop, her heart almost stopped.

  The taller woman was Darcy.

  Erin felt the friendly hello she’d been about to give die in her throat. Darcy was clearly struggling to make herself say something as well, her face contorting with emotion. Both of them were gaping like fish.

  Erin finally wrenched her eyes away from Darcy’s and met those of the other woman standing next to her. She was young and pretty, with large, dark-gray eyes like Darcy.

  “Hi?” the younger woman said. She frowned back and forth at them, clearly confused.

  Erin made herself break eye contact and held out a gloved hand to the younger woman. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

  The woman took her hand in hers. “Nice to meet you, too. I take it you and Darcy know each other from somewhere?”

  Erin kept her eyes on the younger woman, too afraid to look at Darcy again.

  “Yes,” Darcy said. “Erin, this is my sister. Georgiana, this is Erin, the one I told you about.”

  Before Erin knew what was happening, Georgiana had thrown her arms around Erin in a tight hug, their skis crossing beneath them.

  “Really?” she said. “How cool! I’m so happy to finally meet you! What are the chances we’d run into you up here, of all places?”

  Erin couldn’t help but laugh, and some of the tension between her and Darcy seemed to magically disappear. Darcy was smiling now, too.

  “It is a pretty big coincidence,” Erin said.

  “I mean, I suppose it was bound to happen this week at some time,” Georgiana said, still grinning. “You’re here, we’re here, and it is a small town. But up here on the trail? Too weird.” She turned to her sister. “You have to invite her tonight, Darcy.”

  Darcy started a little and then shook her head before giving Erin a quick grin. “I’m sure she has plans, Georgiana.”