Love Lost, Love Found

by Judy Kentrus

  Sean stood up straight and lowered his arms. “This is bullshit! How did you find out?”

  “Bullshit, my ass! Before coming here, I had a private security company investigate the proposal. Surprise, surprise,” she sneered. “Your name, along with the senator’s, is on the list of investors.”

  “I can explain.”

  She stepped right over his offer and continued. “When we were at dinner and I told you about a conglomerate that wants to build some ugly hotel, I was telling you something you already knew.”

  “Yes. I was also aware you opposed the proposal, but I needed to hear your reasons for myself.”

  She remained in control and gave him no quarter before she fired her next question. “Did you recently purchase the property and put it solely in your name?”

  “Yes, but again, I can explain.”

  His initial anger wasn’t quite as strong, and she closed her heart to the hint of desperation she heard in his voice. Her next question was going to offend his integrity, and her voice wasn’t quite steady when she asked, “Did you make me fall in love with you again in the hopes that I would give my approval and vote in your favor?”

  “No! Absolutely not.”

  “Frankly, I don’t believe you. As far as I’m concerned, you haven’t changed. Just like the old saying, a leopard can’t change his spots. You’re the same money-hungry bastard you were twenty-four years ago. It’s all about success and how far it will take you.”

  “I never lied about loving you. I never stopped and will love you till my dying day. The least you can do is stop being close-minded and let me explain.”

  “Sean, that’s your MO. Lies and deceit. So why should I believe anything you tell me?”

  “After everything we’ve done and been together, you can’t look beyond your foolish, misguided pride and listen to my side?”

  “It’s not foolish pride, but deep hurt that you would even consider using the love I have for you in such a callous way. I would have changed my life for you.”

  “Nancy, love, I swear I’d never use you that way.”

  “Stop calling me that!” Don’t you dare cry in front of him. “And why should I believe you? No, Sean, we’re through. You walked away from me, but now you’re going to find out what it’s like when someone does that to you. And just so you know, I’ve no plans to change my mind. Your hotel casino is a dead issue as far as I’m concerned.”

  She barely got the last words beyond the tightness in her throat. “Goodbye, Sean.”

  Her legs weren’t quite steady when she forced herself to turn around and walk away. Inside, she felt empty and didn’t think she would ever get over the hurt and deep sense of loss. No, her love for him had never died, and she wondered how long it would take before it fell back into a deep slumber.

  Sean stepped back inside and cautioned himself not to slam the door. Anger, hurt, disappointment took center stage in his heart and mind. He really needed to punch something or someone. All of his hurried plans had been for naught. If only he’d had one more day to prove he’d never consider using her love to gain a damn vote.

  “But then again, what was she supposed to think?” he said, pacing the living room. “You were like a couple of newlyweds, jumping in and out of bed, playing kissy face, but the problem never went away. You went at this ass-backward. Sure, you regained her love, but as far as she is concerned, the nightmare is still in her backyard.”

  Something George had said popped into his brain. True love never runs smooth, but suffering through the bumps and bruises will only make your love stronger. Well, their love was facing a Mount St. Helens that was in full eruption, spewing cinders and clouds of ash.

  Determination ruled his footsteps into the bedroom. He pulled his travel bag from the closet and started tossing his clothes in the suitcase. It was time to go home.

  “There’s no way I am giving up on you. On us. I didn’t go through all this trouble to lose you again, Nancy Jean, hopefully someday to be Harrigan. You can’t turn off your love like a faucet. I’ve been holding back my ace in the hole, but now it’s time to pull out all the stops.”

  Chapter 13

  A week later, Nancy appreciated the after-hours quiet in her law office. Evening darkness was visible through the bowed double-hung windows behind her desk. The antique mahogany wood matched the conference table that fronted two walls of bookcases filled with legal tomes.

  After Nelson’s death, she’d hesitated occupying his office, his chair, but had decided it was something he would expect her to do to show her leadership. She’d added nautical paintings from a number of local artists, but the one of the famous arch in Washington Square Park looked totally out of place. A number of people had questioned the significance of the photo. Her standard answer was that she’d loved visiting the park when she’d gone to grad school. Sean hadn’t been the only one keeping their special memory alive. Added to her immediate painful remembrance was the Christmas cactus occupying the corner of the desk. She hadn’t been able to bear leaving it behind at the villa.

  She wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around and had been acting like a bear with an injured paw. Her admin and two partners and their assistants knew enough not to ask any questions. At home, Kaitlyn was giving her lots of space.

  She’d barely made a dent in the paperwork that had built up from both her law practice and the affairs of the city council. Compliments from her friends on her tan were a reminder of the personal hurt she hadn’t been able to suppress. There was no denying that she was suffering from another broken heart. She missed Sean and the things they’d done and been to each other, missed being held in his arms, sharing good-morning and good-night kisses, making love, laughing together, just talking. His smile.

  When she unpacked the picture of them at the zoo, she suffered another blow to her heart. The love in their eyes was blatantly obvious. No, he hadn’t lied about his love.

  How could she have been so wrong about him? Despite his betrayal, she still loved him.

  She pushed back the sleeve of her black cashmere sweater to reveal the time on her watch. It was after seven, and she’d purposely stayed late so she could have privacy when she spoke to Blue Steel. Kaitlyn was home studying, and she wanted to avoid her daughter’s repetitious questions. How are you feeling? Are you okay? She meant well, but…

  Conversing with Blue Steel was different. He was her friend and personal sounding board. She needed to tell him that Sean was no longer in the picture. Blue had sent her a brief note three days ago saying he’d be going home and would have round-the-clock private nurses as well as in-home physical fitness four times a week. He hadn’t mentioned who would be putting him through his paces. Milly maybe?

  Tomorrow evening, there would be a closed-door meeting of the town council and the planning board. She’d kept the report from Adams Security to herself and hadn’t let on that she knew the mayor and two council members stood to make a killing if this went through. She’d received personal phone calls from all three politicians, encouraging her to vote in their favor. No amount of persuasion or pleading would sway her decision.

  The last four mornings, she’d stopped for coffee at Book and Brew, the local coffeehouse, to catch up on the latest gossip. The citizens were divided. Half were against ruining their quaint town, while others welcomed the influx of visitors and the creation of new jobs. She hated that she was being torn in two directions.

  She also wondered why Sean hadn’t withdrawn his proposal or let his investors know it was a dead issue. He’d called her cell and left half a dozen messages, asking her to call him.

  She was about to contact Blue Steel when her phone rang. She was confused by the caller ID. Then she remembered that Ernestine was the name of George Boehm’s daughter.

  “Hi, Ernestine. I know we’ve never met, but I feel like I know you from talking to your father.”

  “Same here. I found your card in his wallet and wanted to thank you for being so kind to my fath
er. It’s not everyone who will take the time to sit and listen to an older gentleman reminisce about his life. He said you were very kind.”

  “What do you mean you found my card in his wallet? Is George okay?”

  “That’s why I’m calling. I’m sorry to tell you that he passed away a week ago this past Saturday night.”

  “Oh, that makes me so sad. I only met him twice, but he was such a wonderful man. I know he is happy, because he’s with the love of his life.”

  “You met him twice? He said you’d only met once.”

  “When exactly did he pass away?”

  “In the wee hours of Saturday morning.”

  “That’s impossible. He met with me and a friend Saturday evening. We’d just been reunited after a number of years apart, and your father explained the importance of trust and love in a relationship. He loved talking about your mother.”

  “I never saw two people more in love. On the evening before he passed away, he said good night the way he usually did, but he appeared happier than ever. What was odd, he was holding a maraschino cherry in his hand. I asked him what he was going to do with it. He said he was going to share it with Dottie because she was only a dying breath away.

  “He’s usually up at five in the morning. When I got up, he wasn’t in the kitchen, and I got concerned. He’d passed away in his sleep. He was holding the stem and the entire cherry was gone.”

  “He told us about his special connection with a cherry and his Dottie. George was very special and taught me a great deal about love. If you care enough, love can survive anything.” Nancy realized what she’d said, but didn’t want to go there. “Thank you for calling, and please accept my deepest sympathy in the death of your father.”

  Nancy withdrew a tissue from the box she kept in the bottom desk drawer and wiped the tears from her eyes. They were happy tears, because George was now with his Dottie. She was positive they’d spoken to him on Saturday, but his daughter claimed he’d passed away during the early morning hours. She’d never encountered a ghost or believed in visits from heavenly beings. Then she recalled his last statement. Dottie is waiting for me. Had George made it his dying mission to make sure she and Sean would have their happily ever after? No, impossible.

  It was time to reach out to the only man she could trust, the only man who hadn’t betrayed her, and typed his address into her laptop.

  Hi, Blue. I bet you are glad to be home.

  Hi, Miss Iris. I sure am. Milly is taking me on as a private patient. Iris, she’s becoming very special to me, and my feelings are reciprocated.

  I’m thrilled for you.

  How are things between you and your love?

  They’re not. Before I left the resort a week ago, I found out it’s his company that wants to build the hotel and conference center that I’ve been against from the very beginning. He only wanted to renew our relationship as a means to persuade me to vote in his favor.

  He told you that?

  He denied that was the real reason he wanted to get back with me.

  Did you tell him you were against it?

  He already knew and admitted going to the Casa Blanca to find out my reason for voting against the plan.

  I’m really sorry things didn’t work out between you. From the tone of your emails, you were very much in love.

  I thought so, too.

  Just out of curiosity, did he attempt to change your mind to make you see things from his perspective?

  No, he never brought up the subject.

  Yet he stayed. That suggests his feelings for you were genuine. Did he offer an explanation?

  Yes, but I cut him off. I was too hurt by his betrayal. He used me.

  How?

  What do you mean? Whose side are you on?

  Yours, always yours. Did he try to change your mind?

  No.

  Has he contacted you in a last-ditch effort to change your mind?

  He left six messages on my phone asking me to call him, but I haven’t returned any of the calls.

  Looking at this from a neutral perspective, if you had given him a chance to explain, things might have turned out differently.

  Are you saying I was too impulsive in breaking things off with him?

  Iris, I’m looking at this situation as a third party and suggest you reconsider your decision and hear his side. Do you still have feelings for him?

  I love him very much. I just wish he’d been honest with me from the very beginning. It’s too late now, because I walked away.

  It’s never too late. I knew a man who told me that if a couple truly and deeply loves each other, they can weather any storm they encounter, together.

  A smile of recognition filled her face. By any chance, was your friend George Boehm?

  How did you know? Years ago, he had a law office across the street from me.

  Sean and I had the pleasure of having ice cream with him, and he lectured us on the ins and outs of love. Unfortunately, he recently passed away.

  I’m sorry to hear that. He was a great man. Think about what George told you and ask yourself if what you had with your love is worth saving. I hear make-up sex is great.

  Leave it to you to put the ugly situation into a different prospective. You’ve given me a great deal to think about. I need to get through tomorrow night’s vote. Half of the people in town will love me, and the other half just might throw bricks.

  Purchase some body armor. If I were in your shoes, I’d reach out to him and try to make things work. Remember, I’m always here for you.

  Night, Blue, and thanks for listening.

  Nancy buried her face in her hands and asked herself if she’d made a mistake walking away from Sean. He’d covered up his involvement in the plan, but she’d been wrong thinking he’d used her. He’d never asked for any favors or suggested she rethink her decision to vote against the plan. What he did do was reawaken her love for him and admit he’d made the biggest mistake of his life when he walked away from her. He’d excluded his business side from his personal life.

  Thinking more rationally now, she realized she’d made a foolhardy mistake in not giving him a chance to explain. This was the second time she’d doubted him. Love was messing up her normally levelheaded thinking. She needed to take a leap of faith and prayed she hadn’t ruined their chances to make a new life together. There was a way to test if his feelings for her were more important than the vote.

  She reached for her cell, and her finger pressed number two on speed dial. The sound of her rapidly beating heart seemed to fill the quiet office as she waited for him to answer.

  “Nancy! I gave up leaving messages, figuring you didn’t want to talk to me. How are you?”

  The lack of hostility in his voice was encouraging, and she spoke to him in a tone that lacked estrangement. “Cold, and I miss squishing the sand between my toes.”

  “That sounds like you. I am so happy you called.”

  The warmth in his voice put her further at ease. “I wanted to let you know I just heard from Ernestine, George Boehm’s daughter. He passed away in his sleep.”

  “I’m sad, but he’s with the love of his life. Wish I was.”

  The last part of his statement made her feel warm all over, but she didn’t respond to that. “Something his daughter told me is puzzling. George claimed he met only me. She said he died a week ago in the early morning hours on Saturday, but he met with us that evening.”

  “Are you saying we had ice cream with an unearthly being?”

  “That’s a question I can’t answer. He also went to bed with a maraschino cherry he planned to share with Dottie.”

  “Now you are making it too real. Maybe his last mission on earth was to give us his last lecture on love…and his blessing. I miss you so much, love.”

  She sighed heavily, and her obvious love for him was reflected in her reply. “I miss you, too. Sean, I might have misjudged you and the situation.”

  “Does this mean you forgive me?” />
  “We had a whirlwind ten days in paradise, but I think we need to take things slow. I believe I said the same thing when we met at Casa Blanca. Our love came back very quickly, but life threw in obstacles that challenged those feelings.” It was time to see if his love for her was more important than his business deal. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I plan to change my vote?”

  “No. You explained your position, and I respect your decision. We’re on different sides of the fence, but regaining your trust and love is more important. Like I said the morning you walked away, I love you, Nancy, and that hasn’t changed and never will.”

  “Maybe if you had told me the truth from the very beginning, we could have handled the issue better.”

  “Nancy, my most important purpose for going there was to win back your love. I can’t explain everything right now, but I’m asking you to trust me. I know I’m asking a lot, but I swear everything will work out.”

  “You have no idea how much I want to believe you’re telling me the truth.”

  “I swear on our love. If I mess up, George will probably dump a bottle of maraschino cherries on my head.”

  “I wouldn’t put it past him. Since we’re being so open and honest, have you told anyone you had a personal relationship with me? That would definitely be a conflict of interest.”

  “Excuse me, that’s have a personal relationship with you. The answer is no.”

  “I know Kaitlyn won’t say anything.”

  “Will I see you tomorrow night?”

  “As a member of the township committee, I have to be there.”

  “Can I see you afterwards?”

  The eagerness in his voice tugged at her heartstrings. “Call me in a few days, after the smoke dies. Tomorrow morning I plan to shop for body armor to protect myself when the citizens I’ve disappointed start throwing bricks.”

  “Good idea. Buy two sets. One for you and one for me.”

  “Sean, what aren’t you telling me?”