Love Lost, Love Found

by Judy Kentrus

  “I was blown away when you excused yourself from the vote. It took everything in me not to run after you. The others couldn’t know about our relationship. We still have a lot of work to do to refine the initial blueprints, but everyone was in favor of the new plan I presented.”

  “What does your father think of all these changes?”

  “I really don’t care, because I’m done with him as far as business is concerned.

  As head of the planning board, the plans still require your review and approval.”

  “No, I’m done with politics and understand why you wanted to avoid it at all costs. I’m resigning from my position on the town council.”

  “I hope you’re not doing it because of me.”

  “No, it’s something that needs to be done.”

  When her in-house phone rang, she smiled. Right on time. “Excuse me a minute.”

  “Evelyn, please cancel the appointments you scheduled for our new position. I’ve found the perfect candidate. Mr. Harrigan will return in a few days to fill out the required paperwork.” Nancy hesitated before replying, “Yes, I’m sure. Why don’t you leave early? I’ll be leaving myself in a little while. Have a good evening.”

  “Now that we won’t be interrupted,” Sean said, “I need to hold you.”

  “I’d like that very much.” Nancy felt her shattered world coming back together when Sean pulled her up and sat down in her chair so he could draw her onto his lap.

  Her head found a home on his shoulder, and she breathed him in, but she needed one more thing to bring her heartsease. She turned his head and brought their mouths together and took satisfaction in the taste and feel of his lips that derived the same pleasure when he applied more urgency to the kiss. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck and poured all her pent-up longings into the kiss that she’d thought she’d never experience again. He was here, loving her.

  Nancy was the first to release his mouth but kept her arms around him. “I love you, Sean Harrigan. The past week has been hell for the both of us, but we survived a major hurdle. I think George would be proud of us.”

  “I couldn’t have said it better myself. I love you, too, and missed you like crazy.”

  “You’re going to have to start taking orders from a woman, specifically me.”

  “Not a problem. I’m looking forward to working as a hometown lawyer and making room in my life for more important things, you. I’m ready to sell my home in Washington and move here.”

  “Before you do, I’d like a tour. But the deal-breaker would be if you sold our apartment.”

  “Never.”

  “Since you won’t have a home in Beacon Pointe, you’ll need a place to stay.”

  “Any suggestions?”

  “I’ve a big house with five bedrooms, but I’d be glad to share mine. It just so happens, my daughter won’t be home tonight and the house will be ours.”

  “I know. Kaitlyn pulled me over last night for talking on my cell phone. I was frantic when I couldn’t reach you. We had a long talk, and I told her about my plans. She was very apologetic and didn’t give me a ticket. She also wanted to know when I was going to marry her mother.”

  Nancy moved out of the security of his arms and ran her finger along the curve of his bottom lip. “Her mother hasn’t been asked.”

  “I can settle that right now. Nancy Jean, before I lose you again and go completely out of my mind, would you please marry me, for real?”

  “Before I do, you had better check with your father. He really doesn’t think I’m wife material.”

  Sean’s forehead crinkled in a frown. “What are you talking about?”

  “I never told you about the letter I received from Senator Harrigan telling me I should enjoy letting his son bang me for as long as it lasted, because I’d never be good enough for his son to marry.”

  “That son of a bitch! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was hurt, but then I got angry and didn’t believe you wouldn’t marry me.”

  “Oh, love, I’m sorry he did that to you. I’d love to disown him as a father, but that’s impossible. The best way to fix him is to say yes, because I won’t take no for an answer. I love you, so please put me out of my misery.”

  “I love you, Sean. Of course I’ll marry you.”

  “Finally!”

  Epilogue

  A deep-rooted feeling of happiness settled in Nancy Jean’s heart when her eyes took in the bouquet of delicate pink roses in the crystal vase sitting on the corner of her desk opposite her Christmas cactus. Their heady scent filled her entire office. Sean had had them delivered that morning to celebrate their one-month engagement.

  Life couldn’t be better. She was engaged to marry the love of her life. Two days after he asked her to marry him, he’d proposed again and given her an engagement ring. The exquisite round emerald was surrounded by a circlet of white diamonds. They had yet to set a wedding date.

  Sean was in New York finalizing the transfer of his portion of the business to his partners. They’d tried to talk him out of it, but he’d said no. It was time to move on.

  The mayor and township committee had reluctantly accepted her resignation. Word had gotten out that she had a personal relationship with Sean Harrigan, but they commended her for her honesty and integrity for not trying to sway the vote in either direction. She also had a private meeting with Mayor Curtis to let the politician know Nancy had known about the investment the politician made in the hotel. The meeting had ended on a terse note.

  Sean hadn’t objected when he was given a small office on the first floor of her building. Her two partners welcomed Sean and he seemed to enjoy working alongside the lawyers who were ten years his junior. On numerous occasions, they heeded his suggestions. During the day, Nancy and Sean tried really hard to keep it professional between them.

  One of the first things he did was set up a special foundation for the youth center. He had quite a number of contacts who were eager to support his efforts. Some of his clients were famous sports figures, and they offered to help with the kids whenever possible. Nancy was so proud of him, and Kaitlyn couldn’t stop singing his praises. They’d become fast friends, and Nancy was very pleased.

  It hadn’t been difficult reorganizing her personal life with Sean joining her firm and moving into her home. Kaitlyn had offered to move out, but both Nancy and Sean had said absolutely not. She’d turned the tables on them and planned to purchase one of the new condos Sean was building, because she loved the location and design.

  Last evening, for the first time in weeks, Nancy had connected with Blue Steel. He was very glad to hear she’d gotten back with Sean and had wished her much happiness. He and Milly were getting very serious, and she was planning to move in with him. If things worked out, they would be getting married.

  It was then that Nancy decided they had to meet once and for all. He was very reluctant because he didn’t want to cause any problems with her fiancé, but she’d insisted. Sean would understand.

  She planned to take the train into Manhattan tomorrow afternoon. Blue Steel was familiar with Washington Square Park since it was near his office. He had a doctor’s appointment, so they wouldn’t be able to meet until four. He would be sitting on a bench across from the pool by the arch, holding a purple Iris. She would hold a small photo of a burning heart. After a year, they were finally going to meet.

  It was already after five and the office had closed for the day. Sean said he’d call when he was finished with his meetings and would spend the night at their condo. Since she had to be in the city tomorrow, she planned to talk him into spending another night. They could finally christen their favorite couch.

  She was apprehensive telling him about her plans to meet Blue and hoped he would understand this was something she had to do. She was elated when Sean called a little after six.

  “Hi! How was your day?”

  “Endless meetings and that’s something else I won’t miss. It was also dep
ressing because I couldn’t sneak upstairs to the boss’s office and steal a kiss.”

  “Poor baby. So are you finally free?”

  “Almost. I have one more thing to take care of. My father is meeting me at the office tomorrow morning. Word got back to him that I’m quitting and he’s furious.”

  “Does he know we are engaged?”

  “He’ll find out tomorrow. So what are you going to do tonight other than miss me, I hope.”

  “Of course I miss you. There is something I have to tell you. I communicated with Blue Steel last evening and don’t get upset, but I’m going to the meet him tomorrow afternoon by the arch in Washington Square Park.”

  “I have every right to get upset. You’re engaged to me. Is that really necessary?”

  “I told you before, we are just cyber friends, but just once I’d like to meet the man I’ve been conversing with for over a year. He helped me get through a number of emotional situations. He’s the one who told me I should rethink my actions when I walked away from you.”

  “I guess I owe him. I really don’t like this, but nothing I can say will change your mind because you’re going to do what you want. Call me when you finish your ‘date’”

  “It’s not a date!”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, no matter what, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Saturday afternoon, Nancy stepped away from the taxi and headed for the walkway through the park. Her heart beat a little faster in excitement and matched her footsteps in anticipation of finally meeting Blue Steel. Wanting to look nice, she complimented her knee high black boots with a beige and black plaid skirt. A single button closed the front of her rust colored leather jacket that covered a beige turtleneck.

  The second week of March was mild and there were quite a number of people enjoying the fifty-five degree weather under a cloudless blue sky. Come the warmer months, a sparkling fountain would be spewing in the center of the pool. The trees were just beginning to sprout baby leaves and a myriad of robins on the new green grass signaled the arrival of spring.

  A number of wooden benches were occupied by couples with young children. Others took leisurely strolls with their dogs or played ball with them on the grass.

  The closer she got to the arch, the number of occupied benches dwindled. Had he changed his mind?

  She’d almost given up hope when she spotted a man sitting on a bench. A blue baseball cap with the New York Yankees logo covered his head and he’d turned up the collar of a black pea-coat. He was leaning forward resting his arms on his jean-clad legs. His attention was focused on the ground and she wished she could see his face.

  Her step almost faltered when she got closer. The masculine hands that clasped the stem of a purple iris, the same hands and fingers that had explored her body and brought her endless pleasure, were much too familiar. A thousand questions raced through her mind.

  She paused in front of him. “Sean?”

  When he slowly raised his head, she took a step back, and shook her own head in denial. “You’re Blue Steel?”

  He continued to twirl the stem of the flower between his fingers and answered in a resigning tone. “Yes.”

  She had a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that Sean was Blue Steel! “It’s been you from the very first? I’ve poured my heart out to you for over a year. All this time you’ve been playing with me!”

  She took another step away from him and tugged on the end of the decorative scarf she’d draped around the collar of her jacket. “I can’t believe this! You had me convinced we were finally going to meet in Florida. Then you made up that cockamamie story about being in a car accident. I was so upset and worried. And the story about you falling for your therapist. You are a master at flinging bullshit!”

  When he stood up and moved to stand in front of her, she raised both hands and shoved him in his shoulders. “You jerk! I believed every goddamn thing you told me. I feel like such a fool.”

  Nancy didn’t care that her voice raised in anger was drawing attention from people walking past them. “Aren’t you going to say anything in your own defense?”

  “I figured I’d let you get it all out. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll explain my side.”

  “Why? So you could hand me another line of horse manure?”

  Sean removed his sunglasses and looked directly at her. “Turn on your bullshit radar.”

  “Oh, all right.” She pouted and perched on the edge of the bench, making sure she faced him dead on.

  “Shortly after my divorce, I thought about contacting you, but didn’t know whether you would want to have anything to do with me. One night I was wasting time on the computer and came across the dating site. I saw your sorority unicorn symbol and your name, the Lovely Purple Iris, and figured what the heck and posted a reply using the burning-heart symbol from my fraternity.”

  “Did you know it was me?”

  “No, but after about two months I suspected it was you because of the things you talked about, your favorite places to visit, things to eat, movies. I didn’t tell you who I was because I was afraid you would stop communicating with me.”

  “You were quite clever not replying with things that were specific to you.”

  “I was extremely careful because, again, I was afraid you would end things. I couldn’t bear to let you go. During that time, we started planning the hotel and conference center. My father had a confidential report prepared on the town council that included you.”

  “So you knew everything about me?”

  His voice came out in a heavy sigh. “Yes. We started talking about meeting, and I decided it was time to end my charade. The main reason I wanted to meet you at Casa Blanca was to reveal myself and win back your love.

  “Then your illustrious mayor contacted my father and told him you were opposed to our proposal. He demanded I try and convince you to change your mind, but I needed to hear, for myself, why you objected so strongly. I never intended to sway your decision in our favor. The rest you know.”

  “After I walked away, it was you, as Blue Steel, who persuaded me to give you a chance to explain. The rest, about you knowing George because he had a law office in the same building, was another figment of your twisted imagination.”

  “It worked.”

  “You’ve been lying to me for over year!” She twisted her engagement ring around her finger in a nervous gesture that drew Sean’s attention.

  He put his hand over hers so she wouldn’t remove her ring. “You asked why I didn’t get in touch with you shortly after my divorce. I did, but as Blue Steel. I would have done anything to get you back. I lied about who I was, but think of Blue Steel as the stimulant that brought us together.”

  “Sean, I am so confused right now. How do you expect me to trust you?”

  “I’m not going to offer advice as Blue Steel, or influence you in any way, but I’m going to ask, as the man who loves you, to take a leap of faith and make a choice.”

  “What choice is that?”

  He put two hands to her shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. “You can take my hand and walk up those steps to the arch and marry me right now. Or you can walk away and I’ll never bother you again.”

  “Marry you? Right now! What is this? Another let’s make up our vows as we go?”

  “You got me there,” he said with a small laugh. “No, it’s for real. Make up your mind, Nancy Jean. Yes or no?”

  “Are you crazy?”

  She didn’t say yes or no, but her voice indicated unspoken excitement. It was just the answer he needed. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

  He slipped a firm arm around her waist as they walked the short distance to the magnificent arch they’d stood under that long-ago New Year’s Eve. There was no way she was getting away from him.

  “Once we’re officially husband and wife, we’re going to rechristen our ugly couch.”

  “Apparently, you’ve given this a great deal of though
t.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m not done. Monday morning we are leaving for Casa Blanca. Lacey has reserved the Blue Casbah villa for us for the next ten days. It has its own pool, and we can enjoy the privacy of swimming together naked.”

  “What about the office?”

  “Your admin and partners are fully aware that you and I are getting married and leaving for our honeymoon. They’ve extended their best wishes.”

  “It all sounds wonderful, but we need someone to perform the ceremony.”

  Sean put two pinkies in his mouth and gave a short whistle before guiding her up the stone steps leading to the center of the imposing arch. An elderly gentleman, dressed as clergy and holding a Bible, appeared in front of them. A moment later, he was joined by Kaitlyn and Sean’s father.

  “What are you doing here?” Nancy cried when she saw her daughter.

  “Witnessing your wedding. It’s a good thing it’s not freezing, considering how long it took you to make up your mind.” Kaitlyn gave her mother and then Sean quick hugs.

  “It was touch and go for a while until she made up her mind,” he said.

  “When did you arrange all this?” Nancy asked in a voice filled with wonder and confusion.

  “The other night after you decided to find out the identity of Blue Steel. I contacted Kaitlyn and brought her in on what was going on, including our pretend wedding.”

  “Mother, this is all very romantic.” Kaitlyn held out a paper Happy New Year crown with glittery numbers. 1993. She added a small lacy veil and placed it on her mother’s head. “You’ll need this, too,” she said and handed her mother a small bouquet of purple and white irises.

  The senator stepped forward and presented a black top hat with the same glittery numbers to Sean. “Let’s switch hats,” he said and shook hands with his son. “Thanks for asking me to be here.”

  Sean adjusted the hat on his head and folded back the collar on his coat. “I’m glad you could be here, but I believe you owe my future wife an apology.”

  Nancy sensed the senator was uncomfortable and gave him a welcoming smile. “Sean and I appreciate you taking the time to take part in the ceremony.”