Darkness Embraced

by Pennington, Winter

  “Yes.”

  She turned to Vasco and a flicker of anger went through me again.

  “Renata,” I said and this time my voice was firm.

  The look she gave me wasn’t very friendly. “You have grown bold, Epiphany,” she said. “But I am still your Siren and you will not talk to me in such a way.”

  “I hate you.”

  My words were like a spear that I wrapped my power around and threw at her.

  Pain. As if my heart would burst. Fear.

  I stumbled as Renata pushed me out too fast. She had so much more experience that it seemed all it took was a flick of her wrist.

  “Do not try to read my emotions.” Her eyes narrowed, darkening again.

  She cared. There was some part of her that cared. I had not expected that. I’d expected her to get angry or to feel hurt, but not pain, not fear of what I thought of her.

  I searched her for an answer. Renata turned away from me, as if she did not want me to find words written in the expression of her features.

  “Why did you cast me out?” I asked.

  “Because you no longer held my interest,” she said and her words were empty.

  “That’s a lie. I don’t have to be in your head to know that is a lie.”

  We stared at one another, until Vasco said, “If you were trying to challenge her, my lady, why didn’t you pick someone that Epiphany would actually fight?”

  “You loved me,” she said and her voice wasn’t empty this time. “You couldn’t fight that.”

  “You set her up to fail,” Vasco said, surprised. “You don’t want her to become an Elder.”

  “I did not set her up to fail.”

  I laughed, but it wasn’t a funny laugh. It was the kind of laugh you give when everything was going horribly wrong and there was nothing you could do about it. “No, you didn’t,” I said. “You set me up to stroke your ego. I won’t fight you, Renata.” I took a step closer to her, this time of my own will. “You’ve always liked that I didn’t fight you.”

  “You fought me earlier.”

  I moved forward again, and this time I realized that the stone floor was cold beneath my feet. At some point during our little power play, I’d lost my leggings and boots.

  “It’s kind of pointless to fight you, Renata. Don’t you think?”

  “Why?”

  “You are my Queen and my Siren. You were my lover.”

  “Once,” she said.

  “More than once,” I said.

  She gave a sly smile, eyes lit with remembrance. “True.”

  I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

  Her lips curved even more, noticing my blush. “That is why you do not want to fight me? Because of love?”

  I started to smile and stopped myself. It wasn’t her power; it was just the ridiculous effect she had on me. “Am I supposed to want to fight my Siren, my Queen?” I asked, very carefully avoiding answering her last question.

  She sighed almost wistfully. “It is such a waste.” She looked me up and down.

  “You’re the one that threw it away.”

  “I had my reasons.”

  “I’d love to hear them.”

  “No.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  The look she gave me was too complex to decipher. At last, she said, “You have changed, Epiphany.”

  “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

  “I am not sure yet. I do believe that some of Vasco’s confidence has rubbed off on you.”

  I smiled at that. “Well, he had plenty to spare.”

  She gave Vasco a displeased glance. “She is no longer the aching, trembling thing I once knew. You have inspired change in my Epiphany, Vasco.”

  “No, my Queen,” Vasco said. “I have helped Epiphany bring herself into the light. This is the real Epiphany.” He motioned at me with his wrist like a magician unveiling his assistant. “Do you not like what you see?”

  Renata looked at me again and I fought the urge to fidget. “I have always liked what I see. I would not have brought her over and made her mine had I not,” she said, “but I am not so certain this newfound confidence and boldness is beneficial to her. It makes her more difficult to bend to my will.”

  “Then stop trying to bend me.”

  “And what would I accomplish by doing that?”

  “I’d be happier with you.”

  She laughed. “Happier with me? That does not matter to me, Epiphany.”

  “In some part of you, it does.”

  She wasn’t angry this time, just thoughtful. “I told you to stay out of my mind.”

  “I can’t help it,” I said. “I feel you as if you are a part of me.”

  Renata nervously licked her lips.

  My mouth hung open for a moment, words caught on the tip of my tongue as I stared at her. “That’s why you cast me out,” I said, the shock and disbelief making my words a whisper. “You saw my power. It wasn’t because I am or was weak. It was because you were afraid of what I would see in you?”

  She shook her head. “I do not know what you are talking about, Epiphany.”

  “I do,” Vasco said, moving around the side of the bed like some deadly panther. “You cast Epiphany out because you didn’t want her power letting her get too close to you. I knew you had the potential to be cruel, Renata. I never realized you were scared.”

  She seemed unexpectedly tired, as if the years were catching up with her. She rubbed her temples, much as I had done earlier. It was a strange gesture for her. “I never claimed to be cruel, Vasco.”

  “No,” he said.

  “You could’ve fooled me,” I said without thinking.

  “Once, you would have never spoken to me that way,” Renata said.

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I do not want you to say anything. I am merely pointing out a fact.”

  “Does my newfound confidence bother you?”

  She seemed to consider it. “I am both proud and disappointed to see that you are stepping into your own.”

  I hadn’t expected her to be that honest with me.

  “But,” she continued, “I worry for you.”

  “Why?”

  “I do not believe you have the power to reinforce this newfound boldness.”

  “Do you speak truth, my lady?” Vasco asked.

  “I do.”

  “You do not think that Epiphany will pass the other challenges?”

  “No.” She gave a soft shake of her head, tresses slithering around her like a cloak. “Which is why I needed to test her power myself.”

  “If she could break your hold she could break the others,” Vasco murmured.

  “Precisely.”

  “And I failed at that,” I added.

  “Quite dreadfully,” she said with a little smirk.

  I held her gaze, resisting the urge to go to her, to feel her arms around me. “Vasco has a point.”

  “What point is that?”

  “You said you knew I wouldn’t want to fight you.”

  “I thought that might be the case,” she said tilting her head. “I was not certain.”

  “So now,” I said, “I am beginning to think this entire thing is a manipulative ploy in order to deflate my confidence so that I do indeed fail. Yet, what you gain by my failing I cannot fathom.”

  “She has been spending entirely too much time with you, Vasco.”

  Vasco gave a slight bow. “I enjoy her time, my lady.”

  “You would,” she said and there was some spitefulness in it. Spitefulness or jealousy, I wasn’t sure.

  “What does that mean?” I cut Vasco off before he could say anything.

  The look she gave me was long and hard. I realized in that moment that she didn’t like that Vasco and I spent so much time together.

  I actually laughed. “You’re jealous? You cast me out and now you’re actually jealous that I found one person among the Rosso Lussuria to call friend?”

  “I
told you to stay out of my head, Epiphany. I will not ask you again.”

  “I’m not in your head, Renata. I’m in your heart. There’s a big difference.”

  She closed her eyes and I wondered if she were counting to ten.

  “You were never this frustrating to deal with.”

  “Everything changed when you cast me out.”

  “You act as if I completely deserted you, Epiphany.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  “Vasco,” she said, “tell her.”

  He put his fist over his heart and bowed. “You made me swear an oath never to tell her.”

  She waved it away. “You are free of your oath. Now tell her.”

  “Tell me what?” I stepped forward, resting my weight on the pad of my foot.

  “Epiphany,” Vasco said, “she did not desert you.”

  I stared at him, uncomprehending.

  Chapter Four

  “Did you not think to question your friendship?” Renata asked.

  “No. Why would I? Vasco has shown me kindness. I do not question that.”

  “He showed you kindness because I appointed him as your protector,” she said. “I did not throw you to the wolves as you are so quick to accuse me of.”

  I wasn’t sure I believed it. Vasco stood and didn’t bother to say anything in his defense. “It’s true, isn’t it?” I asked in a voice that was almost a whisper.

  “Colombina.” He spread his arms out. “It is true.”

  I shook my head. “No,” I said, “I don’t believe you. You’re both lying. I don’t know why, but you’re lying.”

  He moved forward as if to touch me. I whirled away from him before he even got close.

  His eyes widened. “Colombina…”

  I put my hands over my face. “No. How can it be true?” I glared at him. “You are telling me that this friendship…all of these years have been a lie? You’ve only pretended at someone else’s command? At her command?”

  “We are friends.” His voice was soft as he reached out toward me again.

  “Stop trying to touch me!”

  He spread his hands again, but this time he was trying to make a point of harmlessness. “Look inside of me.”

  I stubbornly shook my head. “No.”

  He was quick, so very quick. His hands dug into my upper arms as he shook me. “Look!”

  His power hit me and there was nothing subtle about it. Vasco didn’t pour his emotions down my throat. He simply opened himself up and my power sucked it in like some great black hole.

  Candles sent a dance of light and shadows across the room. I was kneeling on the familiar stone floor of Renata’s bedroom. She regarded me from where she sat in the corner of her room, displeasure rendering her beauty even colder.

  She said my name, only it wasn’t my name.

  It was Vasco’s.

  “My Queen.” I bowed my head.

  She bid me to stand and I rose, waiting.

  “I have a task of great importance for you, Vasco. A task I am unwilling to place in the hands of any other but you.”

  “What is your will, my lady?” The words flowed smoothly, in spite of the niggling sense of unease I felt. I was afraid of what she would ask, but I was her creature. Whatever she asked, I would do.

  “Epiphany,” she murmured, features taking on a thoughtful expression as she traced the carved wooden arm of the chair. “Watch her. Protect her. See to it she does not fall prey to the Elders.”

  The unease left in a whoosh of air. “It will be done.”

  The vision changed, and I was suddenly in the banquet hall, leaning against the far wall. I saw myself, and knew for certain these were Vasco’s memories I was viewing, not mine.

  It is a strange thing, seeing yourself from the perspective of another. Vasco’s thoughts clouded mine, making it hard to differentiate between the two. I knew this; he had known I had been Renata’s pet. He had known I had been cast out, though he too did not understand why. He saw my vulnerability and felt, not pity, but compassion.

  I watched and remembered, though I did not want to.

  I moved as inconspicuously as I could through the tables, careful to keep my distance from the others. The dress I wore in his memories was modest, solid black, but the black brought out the paleness of my skin and the pale gray of my eyes. I have always been small, but the way I held myself made me appear even smaller, as if I was trying very hard not to be noticed.

  I had been.

  I felt Vasco raise his glass to his lips, watching and wondering.

  The vision changed. My boots were silent against the stone floor. I walked down one of the lesser hallways that led to the library. It was odd seeing the Sotto from Vasco’s height. There was a startled gasp and I turned on my heel, heading quickly in the direction of the sound. Someone groaned and I started running. I hit the bend at the end of the hallway.

  “What’s it like no longer being the Queen’s favorite little bitch?” Lucrezia’s voice sent a shiver of disgust through me.

  “Lucrezia!” I said harshly. She turned, long auburn hair framing a round face with wide pale green eyes that were not quite sane. I agreed with Vasco’s thoughts. I didn’t think she was quite sane either.

  “Vasco!” she said, surprised. “How nice of you to join us…”

  Epiphany, my body in the vision, made another small noise of discomfort. I felt Vasco’s emotions in that moment. He wanted to protect me, not because he was ordered to, but because what Lucrezia was doing was wrong.

  Lucrezia kept my body pinned against the wall.

  Her wrist twisted and there was another disturbing sound. I didn’t want to think of the woman pinned to the wall as myself. It was both a blessing and a curse that I was reviewing the memory from Vasco’s perspective. A blessing because I didn’t want to remember that bitch touching me. It was a curse because I saw that when Renata cast me out, I had lost the will to live, to survive. It was there in my flickering eyelids, in the set of my mouth, the slack submission of body. It was a pitiful sight, and Vasco wanted to save me from it.

  Lucrezia’s cheek rubbed cat-like against the back of my mahogany hair as she cooed at Vasco, “Want to play?”

  “Let her go.”

  “No, thank you.” She smiled so sweetly and traced the lobe of my ear with her tongue. “Are you sure you don’t want to play, Vasco? She’s up for grabs now.” She made a pleased noise low in her throat. “And so very tasty.”

  I grabbed the hilt at the back of my neck. My sword sang free of its sheath. “I will not ask you again, Lucrezia.”

  “Oh.” She widened her eyes in a pretentious fashion that was undeniably Lucrezia. “Looks like our friend has brought a toy.”

  She moved and that was all it took to set Vasco over the edge. I knew from my own memories and personal experience that there were cuts high up between my shoulder blades, cuts Lucrezia dealt me.

  From Vasco’s memory, it was not so obvious.

  The tip of my sword dug into the delicate skin beneath her jaw and I used it to push her back, following as she kept back stepping. “I’m stronger than you, Lucrezia. You don’t want to play this game or any game with me.”

  She hissed at me around the blade digging into her chin. “You should have told me you’d claimed the woman as your bitch, Vasco! I didn’t think she was quite your type.”

  I gave the sword a little push and a drop of crimson blood slithered down the steel. “Touch her again and I’ll cut your heart out and feed it to you.”

  I withdrew my sword, wiping the blood on my tunic, and turned toward the girl…

  I was suddenly on the floor staring up at Renata’s ceiling.

  “Epiphany.” It was Vasco’s voice. He touched my cheek lightly. “Epiphany?”

  “I’m not quite sure, yet,” I managed to say.

  He helped me sit up, propping my back against his torso. “You wouldn’t let me guide your vision,” he said, as if he were in my thoughts and felt my confusion. “If yo
u had let me guide it and didn’t try to take control, you wouldn’t feel like this.”

  How did I feel? I felt unreal and confused. I blinked. “Vasco…”

  “Sì?”

  “Don’t you ever do that to me again. For future reference, I’d rather stay in my own body.”

  His lips spread into a grin. “So I noticed.”

  I heard movement and turned to look at Renata. She knelt beside me, touching my forehead with nimble fingers. “I did not know you could project memories, Vasco.”

  “I cannot, my lady.”

  She gave him a questioning look. “Her?”

  He nodded. “It seems Epiphany’s powers of empathy only want to absorb. Her power doesn’t care whether it is thoughts, emotions, or memories that it is absorbing.”

  Renata made a little, “Hmm,” sound as her fingers tickled lightly down my neck.

  “He didn’t protect me just for you,” I whispered, watching her.

  “So I noticed.”

  Had she seen the memory?

  Her hands found my shoulders and she started pulling me away from Vasco. His grip tightened around me for a second, I think, afraid of what she would do. I didn’t have the energy or the will to fight either one of them. Renata gave him a look of warning and he let me go.

  Her hands moved at my back.

  “Turn around,” she whispered the words against my hair and I shuddered.

  I moved to my knees and turned. Renata opened the back of the dress and pushed it down off my shoulders. She exposed my back, touching the scar there. The knife Lucrezia had used had been silver, and though my body had healed, it had left two light pink scars like an angry X between my shoulder blades. One thing Vasco hadn’t witnessed was that before he’d arrived, Lucrezia had told me she was going to carve the target on my back. She’d stayed true to her word.

  The rage was a bitter and hateful thing in my mouth as Renata’s fingers traced my scarred flesh. It wasn’t my rage. It was hers. The muscles in my back twitched and jumped, as if my skin remembered the blow.

  “Renata,” I whispered.

  It was like something hot sliding down my spine. I said her name again, through clenched teeth.

  I turned and caught her wrists in my hands.

  Vasco hissed and I knew it wasn’t at Renata. He’d never seen the scar. I let go of her wrists.