by Larry Niven
“We were going to put antimatter where Andrew Hain could reach it!
“Yes, I know Andrew’s dead. Who should know that better than I? But I saw his eyes. He was going to kill me. Sure he was, why not? But he was ready to die himself! When we gave him a tractor, he used it to shred our plantings on Selene. What would he have done with our nano, given time, with Star to be tortured for what she knows? What would he do with ten kilograms of antimatter?
“I saw him die, jerking like a hooked salmon. I would have cooled him down a quarter century ago! That was crazy, and I’m sorry. We can’t freeze thousands of Andrews. We’d have to thaw half the Earth Born.” Liren’s nails ripped through her hair again. “We damn near have anyway!
“We made slaves. Slavery makes Andrews.
“We cannot. Can not. Are you listening? We cannot build an antimatter generator, and antimatter storage system, and launch system, on Selene. That was crazy. We should have got well by now. Even that cursed AI should have known better.
“I’m rambling.” Liren reached out of the window and it disappeared.
Captain Erika said, “Ma Liren resigned just after making that speech. We’ll nominate a replacement, but for now there are only four on High Council. Rachel, please proceed.”
He did it. Rachel couldn’t believe it. Andrew had made his point, with his life.
High Council waited politely.
Rachel cleared her throat. “First, all of the Moon Born that threatened or hurt Council may be kept on John Glenn, detained, until we sort this out.” As if she could stop them. She swept them past the question, saying, “And the same goes for Council and Earth Born. I include Paul Hen-nick, the man who shot Jacob, and whoever it was that shot Dylan.”
Erika blinked and sat back, gesturing to the others to be quiet. “Do you know who that is?”
“You have recordings. Play them.”
“All right. Everyone is here anyway.”
Rachel stood, freeing her hands, and said the next words very carefully. “Liren also.”
Erika’s answer was immediate. “Ma Liren is, was High Council.”
“Ma Liren shot at me while I was in flight. I would have fallen to my death. She told me later that she would be happy to shoot me again, and she threatened Andrew. She’s homicidal.”
Kyu looked like she was trying very hard not to grin. Clare and Rich looked stunned, and Erika’s eyes narrowed. “What exactly are you proposing?”
“I want them all detained, or frozen if they wish, until we have worked out some issues. Or until they reach Ymir.” She sat back down, holding Erika’s eyes. “I think it may take us some time.”
Erika leaned forward, her voice clipped. “Very well. We will hold everyone for up to three months, but they are accused, not convicted. That means everyone may go completely free, or may yet face more punishment.”
Rachel nodded. “Thank you.” Inside, a little bit of fear leaked away. Erika had heard her.
Erika said, “Now, next, we want to hear your version of what happened. We’ve fast-forwarded through the tapes, but we want to give you a chance to present your side of the story.”
Rachel cleared her throat, hoping to steady her voice. She had given hundreds of classes. She could do this. Her hands shook, and leaned forward, facing the assembled power of the Council of Humanity.
“I used a weapon yesterday. I didn’t want to, but if Andrew had shot Liren or Gabriel, we would have truly been lost. I knew that yesterday; I still know it today. We all suffered losses yesterday. I lost my fiancé, and the day before I lost my father. Two days before, my brother. These were personal losses. There are more important losses. We have lost our voice with you.” Rachel’s mouth was dry, and her tongue felt thick. She swallowed, drank more water, and continued. “You gave us life, but you did not give us voice. If you leave the way you plan, you will give us death. Which would be a loss for you. Maybe not much loss to those of you who have never been on Selene. But for these people, for my friends and counselors here, it would be a loss. A death. You can give us life, hope, even after you leave.” Her hands shook and she clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palm. “It means that you must lose some of your fear.
“My hands were covered in blood twice during the last few days. Once, when my brother Jacob died in my arms, and once more when Dylan was shot on the roof yesterday. That blood is also on your hands. But I believe . . . I believe I know you, and that you made choices that led us to this place based on fear of real things in Sol system.”
Erika’s eyes had widened; she looked surprised that Rachel knew their history. Rich watched thoughtfully, scribbling notes in his pad. Kyu offered a half smile, one eyebrow cocked. Rachel wished she could tell what they were thinking. Was she reaching them, any of them?
“Yes,” Rachel said, “I know some of your history. I had to learn it to understand you at all. Council—you—were always such a mystery to us. Like gods. You had strength and power and we needed you, but we didn’t understand you. But that isn’t what I’m here to talk about.” She took a deep breath. Time to reveal the plan that had kept her awake all night. “We can’t survive without you. Fires and flares have taught us that. Every time we see the Water Bearer, we remember how Gabriel saved us.
“There are three things we want—and if you give them to us, I think you will leave for Ymir with clean hands. First, it will take technology to leave Selene habitable. Help us learn the skills we need to stand a chance of living here long enough to build a real civilization. I’ve studied Earth before the AI disasters, before the horrors that set you running. Perhaps different choices can be made. We will try to make good choices; to learn from mistakes made in Sol system. If we fail”—she shrugged for emphasis—”if we fail, we are isolated here anyway.”
There was silence all around her. Silence from the ship. Rachel licked her lips.
“Second, build Gabriel’s flare kite. You turned it down once, because it would take too long, too many resources. You have the resources. Give them to us, share them, so that we are free to live without fear of flares.
“Third, generate your antimatter entirely outside of Harlequin’s moon system.”
To Rachel’s surprise, Erika raised a hand, gesturing to Rachel to continue. Her face was unreadable, intense, focused tightly on Rachel.
Rachel spoke directly to Erika. She was the power here. “We would not try to change your dream. I thought that was what I wanted; to keep you here, keep you prisoners in Apollo system. That is an unacceptable choice to you. There are choices unacceptable to us. We must have a voice in what you do with our world, in what you do here. We cannot allow—and yes, you can kill us all and start over—but we cannot allow antimatter to be made here. I don’t believe you would do that. We are your children, as well as the Children of Selene.
“Vassal and I have looked at the math. It feels strange to be echoing Ma Liren, but how did you let your sense of proportion get so disaffected? You can’t even use the moons, they’re all too close, an antimatter accident would still destroy Selene.”
She heard a strident edge in her voice. She stopped for a moment, fighting to regain control, then continued in a slower, surer voice. “We can run your factories here. You brought Refuge here—you can find a place to build the collider. You need our industry, our hands. We need the tools to make Selene more than you envisioned it”—she looked over at Gabriel—“even though you envisioned much, you gave us much with this place.” She stopped for the space of a breath, held her hand out to indicate that she wasn’t done. “We have come to love Selene—to love how the Sea of Refuge rises and falls with the breath of Harlequin, the way the ground shudders from time to time to remind us that Selene is as young as we are.” There were words coming out of her mouth that were more than she had thought before—the coming together of things she had learned and seen and dreamed about into a higher truth. She had to make them see it!
“We must make a new plan, all together. With our voic
es. Earth Born, Moon Born, and Council. Some Earth Born, and maybe even some Council, need to stay here. We need their skills. Some Earth Born have told me they are willing to stay, to work with us on Selene.” And now she took the greatest risk of all—“And the two AIs also need a voice.” She rushed to take them past that idea, so it wasn’t the last one. “I know—we know—that Selene will never be an Earth. It will always need human engineers to keep its heart beating. But—” She stood and gestured toward the windows. “Selene is real.” She held up a fist, opening her palm to show it empty, holding her fingers wide. “Ymir is a myth!
“We need the chance to make Selene, to keep it alive, and to grow into whatever we can become. Maybe we will make it to the stars ourselves.” She had to put the whole list on the table. It was a living thing in her head; the subject of endless nighttime talks and plans. “Leave us some ships, just to keep the balances here—but not all of them. Not even most of them. If we are to live, we’ll need to be able to build our own. Give us ships to copy.”
Erika interrupted. “Selene can’t survive that long.”
Clare spoke, contradicting Erika lightly. “Human environments on Earth were artificial too. Green spaces couldn’t survive without human input either, not for hundreds of years. We’re architects. The flare kite will buy time.”
Rachel felt a surge of hope. Maybe Clare was with her. That was two of them, counting Kyu. “We may die attempting this. But with enough technology, and a copy of the Library, and an AI ally who needs to see us succeed to survive itself—we have a chance. We have a right to that chance. And in return, we will support your goals willingly. We will work for you, help you, and see you safely out of Apollo system and on your way.”
Rachel let silence fall. She waited a breath. Two breaths. She could hear her heartbeat.
Erika smiled. “You’ve given us much to think about. Now, we will go and talk about the things you’ve said.” Her voice gave away nothing.
The video from the ship disappeared, and where Rachel had been looking at Council, she saw through windows that overlooked Selene. The crest of the far crater wall rose above the sea, a ragged dark line against a clear blue sky.
Everyone in the room was looking at her. Gabriel’s hand stole back into hers, squeezed it, and then he got up and walked to the window, his back to them all. What was he thinking? She needed his support as much as the High Council’s. He had made Selene. Surely he would help her protect it?
She stood, shaking. She walked over and stood next to him, not touching him, looking at the sea. Apollo had fully risen, and Harlequin. Wind kicked up small waves on the surface of the water.
Gabriel said, “You have eaten from the tree of knowledge.”
She didn’t understand the reference, but she heard the approval in his voice. It was enough.
An hour later High Council reopened the window. Erika spoke for them again. “We cannot give in to your three demands at this time. But we are willing to start a discussion, including everyone. Moon Born, Earth Born, Council, and High Council will form a working team. We will not accept any decisions that prevent us from leaving this place for Ymir. There will be bounds upon the discussion.” She leaned in, and for a moment she lost the severe look she had started with. “Rachel—you’ve told me what you want. What I want, more than anything else, and at least as much as you want your home, is to go away from here and find mine.”
Rachel smiled back. “I understand.”
“We will accept nominations for members of a working group.”
Rachel waited, silent.
“It will include the two AIs. They will not vote, but they will be heard.”
Rachel closed her eyes and swayed, relieved, light. Joy bubbled up, and as soon as the data window winked closed, she screamed in glee.
CHAPTER 75
LOSING YMIR
GABRIEL WOKE TIRED. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, contemplating a run to burn frustration before they started. Today was the third meeting of the Selene Task Force. He had two hours. He ordered a small dose of stimulant from his med-feed and started out the door.
Cool damp air enveloped him as he worked up speed, warming his body enough to sprint out the worries that nagged at him. The first two meetings they’d worked out how to structure talks. They would leave the AIs where they were but disallow any further releasing of restrictions on them. They’d continue making raw materials for the collider. The cultivated regions had been checked for damage, cleaned up, and the population of Clarke Base returned to replant. So why was he so resdess?
Wayne and Astronaut were searching for a good place to build the collider. Good luck! They needed a body big enough to wrap the collider around . . . not as big as Selene, but big. There was nothing that big in Harlequin’s La-Grange positions, and those were sixty degrees ahead and behind Harlequin, as distant as Apollo and Daedalus. If they had to work at billion-kilometer distances, and mush a dozen bodies together to get something bigger . . . another ten thousand years?
Would they have to work with TNOs instead?
Would he ever, ever, get to leave Selene? Gabriel increased his running speed, his heart pumping hard enough to shorten his breath. Ymir still seemed far away to him; something unreal. His feet pounded on Selene’s surface, on a crater rim he had built above a sea he had dreamed into existence. A light mist hugged the water below him, and light spilled slowly onto it, dissipating the mist in warming air. He dug for more speed, breathing hard, smelling fresh water carried in winds blowing up-crater from the Sea of Refuge. He focused on each footfall until finally he was just a runner; a man testing his strength on a beautiful morning.
Contentment ran through his body, singleness of purpose. Then a wave of sadness, a deep sense of loss. It grew, slowing him down, dragging at his feet. He tried to run through it, past it. He stumbled, falling lightly onto his hands, and then rose again, running farther, as if he ran through a thick mist even though the sun shone, glittering on the water below him.
He stumbled again, and stayed down this time, feeling rough gravel under his knees. Wind blew against his cheek, cooled the sweat on his back. He felt Selene below him. He imagined a line from his heart all the way through the beating machinery that ran the Sea of Refuge . . . running along the fields away from Clarke Base, following water flow in the aqueducts. A net of his energy surrounded the moon, surrounded him, entwined. Home. Hot tears splashed onto the soil, surprising him. He never cried. It felt wonderful, crying into the soil.
Gabriel went back more slowly than he had come, settling into a fast walk for the last kilometer. He showered quickly, the water hitting his back like an alarm, pulling him out of the sticky sad feeling that had held him so close. What had he lost? Ymir? Rachel had called it a myth. He sensed it behind him, a remembered past, now gone.
The kitchen in Council Aerie was full. Rachel, Beth, Harry, Bruce, Ali, John, Treesa, and two other Earth Born, Bear and Nadine, all gathered around the table. He took three deep breaths, surprised that he knew what he had to say. Now, before the meeting opened.
“Captain John and Treesa have already said they are staying here. I’m staying too.” Gabriel was surprised that even afterward, even after he said that, he stayed calm. It was the right choice.
Treesa smiled softly, approvingly. “Why?”
“Ymir isn’t my job. There’s already a terraformed world, or else we’ll find that the Ymir project failed using every tool I’ve got. Or John Glenn won’t make it there. This—I made this.” He held his hands out expansively, gesturing through the window toward the Sea of Refuge. “Or at least mostly.” He felt light as he walked over to sit by John, opposite Rachel. He looked directly at her. “I couldn’t bear to leave here.”
Rachel flashed him a huge smile, and her eyes brimmed with tears. She turned away to look out the window before he could tell for sure, and John and Treesa clapped him on the back, congratulating him.
He felt wonderfully peaceful.
He wanted his gui
tar.
He wanted—“Suppose we took Moon Eleven—”
ASTRONAUT HAD NAMED the moons in order of discovery: roughly by size. Eleven was now the outermost moon. Two tiny farther moons had been smashed into Moon One in the making of Selene, but Eleven was too big: more mass would have been dispersed than gained.
Eleven was big enough, round enough, to serve as the site for a smaller collider design.
It wasn’t far enough from Selene. Nothing in the moon system was. Why did the Moon Born keep talking about ten kilograms, Rachel’s antiwatermelon? The trick was not to try to move the antimatter from where it was generated. Moving that stuff was risky; you’d do it only once. Moon Eleven would house the full twelve hundred kilograms before they used it to refuel John Glenn. Risk the moon, not the carrier ship.
By then Selene would be safe.
“See, Moon Eleven is at the edge of Harlequin’s gravity field anyway,” Gabriel told the Selene Task Force. Later he would tell Wayne and Clare, then High Council. “We can use one of the Large Pusher Tugs and the first two kilos of antimatter—a mere anticantaloupe, Rachel—to bust it loose and put it on course for the L5 point. It won’t get there in a thousand years, but for all the time we’re making antimatter, it’ll keep getting farther away from Selene. Ultimately the spirit of LaGrange will hold it stable forever.”
When he faced High Council, Clare asked, “Has Astronaut agreed to this?”
“Sure. Astronaut never did see a danger. It understands antimatter. Suicidal rebels, it hasn’t a clue. But, Clare, this will work. Worst-case scenario still lets us get the population into Refuge.”
“You’re letting the Moon Born build the components?”
“We’ll be careful,” Gabriel said, and Kyu said, “They need to get to know the machines. They’ll need that when we’re gone.”
