Renegade

by Heather Dahlgren

  I spot them all sitting around a table and I head that way. When I reach the table the conversation keeps going, but Poppy shoots me a death look. Yikes. “Nice of you to join us,” she says.

  I try to make light of the situation and laugh it off. “I like to be fashionably late. So where is your friend?” I ask, looking around the table and only seeing my friends.

  “She left. She was disgusted by your lack of interest in her,” she says, crossing her arms and looking away.

  “Holy shit. Seriously, Poppy, I didn’t mean anything by it. I stopped at the bar to grab a shot. I didn’t even think I was gone that long. Where is she now? I’ll go personally and apologize,” I say, feeling like the biggest piece of shit.

  Everyone busts out laughing and Poppy looks at me before tossing her head back joining in. “I’m fucking with you. She went to the bathroom.”

  I grab a Heineken that is on the table and drink down half of it. “That’s fucked up, Poppy. You made me feel like shit.”

  “Well maybe that should make you rethink things,” she says with a grin and I just shake my head. “Oh here she is. Brooklyn this is Fitz. Fitz, this is my girl, Brooklyn.”

  I turn around and I swear to God for the first time in my life, the wind is knocked out of me. She is fucking sexy as hell. She’s got an unbelievable body and those green eyes look like they could burn into my soul. I feel like my mouth is as wide as my eyes as I take her in. Her toned legs bring her closer to me, allowing me to notice her plump lips. My body is frozen in place when she smiles at me. I try to get a hold of my emotions, or hormones not sure which one as I hold out my big hand, encasing hers. My heart is pounding in my chest as I shake it and I try to gather some words to say to her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Brooklyn. Poppy didn’t tell me how beautiful you are,” I say, speaking the truth to a woman for probably the first time since I was a kid.

  Her entire face blushes at my compliment and it makes me wonder if it’s because Fitz of Renegade said that or if she just doesn’t hear it nearly enough. With her tiny hand in mine and I want to pull her to me. I want to wrap my arms around her and hold her close. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too and please call me Brooke,” she says in a voice that is so quiet I almost need to lean down to hear her.

  “No, your name is Brooklyn,” Poppy yells and still holding onto Brooklyn’s hand I turn my head to look at Poppy. “Her name is Brooklyn.”

  I turn my attention back to Brooklyn or Brooke and say, “What do you want me to call you?”

  She chews her plush bottom lip, almost like a nervous habit, before she looks up to me. “I guess Brooklyn.”

  I nod my head and realize I’ve still got ahold of her hand. I let go and crack a smile. “What can I get you to drink, Brooklyn?”

  She once again blushes, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ve got water, but thank you so much.”

  Water? Who the hell drinks water at a party? She sits down and I pull a chair over and sit next to Ralph since there is not room next to her. I can’t take my eyes off her and the only thing she is doing is playing with her fingers and looking down at the table. She’s nervous, I can tell. Has me curious if she acted this way before I got here. I want to kick my own ass for not following them up here in the first place. Everyone starts talking and the only time she joins in is when a question is asked directly to her.

  “So Brooklyn, what do you think of New York so far?” I ask. At this point, I just want to get her to talk. I’ve never seen someone so shy and nervous before. It brings out this need to want to protect her, which is crazy since I know nothing about her.

  She looks at me for a second before looking back at the table. “I haven’t seen much, but what I have seen was beautiful.”

  So she likes the city, good to know. “Anything special you want to see while you’re here?” I look at Ethen as he gets up. I motion for him to grab me a beer and turn my attention back to Brooklyn.

  “I guess I want to see everything,” she says and lightly laughs. Damn what I wouldn’t give to hear that sound again.

  Ethen comes back with a tray full of shot glasses with brown alcohol and some beers. He passes them out to everyone and gives a wicked grin. These must be strong. “I’d like to make a toast. I fucking love you guys and Brooklyn, welcome to the crew.”

  “To old friends and new friends,” Nate says and we all tip our shots back.

  I look over at Brooklyn and she still has her full shot in front of her. “What’s wrong Brooklyn? You don’t like a Kick In The Balls?” I ask and she chews that lip and lowers her head more.

  “She doesn’t like drinking. We need to fix that. Come on Brooklyn, do your first shot,” Poppy yells from Nates lap.

  “Holy shit. You’ve never done a shot before? Oh my God, how old are you?” Ethen asks before he sips his beer.

  “I’m twenty-five,” she replies with hurt in her voice.

  “Damn girl, we need to loosen you up. It’s easy, just put the shot glass to your lips and throw it back. You’ll love it and want me, shit I mean more,” Ethen says, laughing at his Freudian slip.

  “Girl, come on. I told you earlier, there is a party girl in there. Let’s find her,” Poppy says.

  “I’d rather not. Not right now anyway,” Brooklyn says and I don’t know if everyone is drunk and can’t see it or just doesn’t care, but the fear and embarrassment on her face makes me want to kick their asses.

  “Come on, don’t wimp out,” Ralph says, pushing the shot closer.

  “Let the party girl out, Brooklyn,” Poppy yells with laughter.

  “You need to try your first shot here with us, come on,” Ethen pushes.

  I stand up and grab the drink from in front of her. “Shut the fuck up. She said she didn’t want to do it, so stop being a bunch of pushy assholes.” I toss the shot back and slam the glass down. “There, fucking happy.”

  “What the fuck crawled up your ass?” Ethen asks, grabbing his beer while shaking his blonde hair. Never mind I don’t want to know. I’m going to dance, who’s with me?”

  Ralph follows Ethen and I move myself to the seat Ralph vacated next to Brooklyn.

  “Brooklyn, I’m sorry. I just want you to have a good time. Come on, let’s go dance,” Poppy says, getting up and shaking her ass.

  “I’ll meet you out there in a minute. I need to go to the bathroom first,” she whispers and rushes off.

  “Damn babe, you weren’t kidding when you said she was a nervous person,” Nate comments.

  “Why?” I ask, still watching the path she took to the bathroom.

  Poppy pulls out a seat and sits next to me. “She likes routine, she likes boring. Honestly, she’s only gotten worse since she’s been with Hank.”

  This catches my full attention and I look at her. “She’s got a boyfriend?”

  She shrugs her shoulders while she finishes off her beer. “She’s got something. I don’t like him. The stories I could tell you, would even make you feel sorry for her Fitz.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Her comment pisses me off, because clearly I was the only one who gave a fuck two minutes ago.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just meant that he’s an insensitive prick and she’d be a lot happier if she would kick his dull, boring, selfish, unfeeling ass to the curb.” She gets up and holds her hand out to Nate. “Dance with me.”

  I watch them all dancing and everyone else who is here. If they aren’t dancing they are drinking and having a good time. The problem is, the girl who this party is for, is the only one not having fun. Fuck this. I get up and go to the bathroom to see if she is alright. I wait outside the ladies room for a minute to see if anyone comes out and when no one does I stick my head in. Brooklyn is the only one I see and she’s standing in front of the sink, wiping her eyes. This insane need to help her takes over and I walk in.

  She glances up and then back down, just to whip her head up to look at me. “Fitz? What are you doing, this is the l
adies room?”

  “I realize that.” I smirk as I get closer to her. As soon as I reach her, I pull her in for a hug. Holy shit, having my arms around her is so much more than I thought it would be. She’s so much smaller than I am and I feel like I might break her if I squeeze too hard. Her hair smells like coconuts and her skin is so damn soft. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her face against my chest. The second I can’t see her face, her body shakes and she cries. I feel so fucking bad for her and I don’t know what to do. Normally, I would walk away and send Poppy to handle a situation like this, but I can’t this time. It’s like I need to be here.

  I pull back slightly and try to gently get her to look at me by lifting her chin. She won’t have it and tries to pull away. “Fitz, please.” There is a crack in her voice which mirrors the crack just made in my heart for her.

  “Talk to me. Why are you so upset? Is it that everyone was pressing you to take that shot?” I ask, completely out of my comfort zone. She shakes her head no, so I pull her against me again, hoping if she feels I can’t see her, she will tell me something. “Well what is it?”

  “I don’t even know you, I’m not going to pour my heart and soul out to you,” she says and shakes her head. “I’m sorry that was rude.”

  I chuckle and squeeze her a little tighter. “I’ve heard worse insults. Look, I’m not going to force you to tell me anything. I don’t like seeing you upset, it makes me upset. So how about this, we go back out there and get to know each other. If you want a drink, I’ll get you one. If you want to dance, I’m your guy. If you want to sit in complete silence, well I’m game for that too. This is your party and you’re the one having a miserable time. What do you say?”

  She pulls away from me and searches my eyes. Her eyes still wet with fresh tears. “Do you feel sorry for me?”

  I kiss her forehead and back away from her, sticking my hands in my pockets. “Actually, it’s the complete opposite. Do you need to like fix your makeup or something?”

  This time I get a small smile and she turns to the mirror. “Yes.”

  I tell her I’ll wait in the hallway for her. I don’t know what it is chicks do and maybe she doesn’t want me standing there while she does it. I lean against the wall with my one foot propped on it behind me and my arms crossed. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. This isn’t me, waiting outside a ladies’ room for someone. I should be on the dance floor, fucked up and looking for someone to bring to the ladies’ room.

  “Fitz, there you are. We’ve been looking for you all night.” I turn my head and one of the girls that is always around stands before me. I can’t label her a groupie as much as a serious fan. Her friends however, they are groupies, so when she says ‘we’ I know she means them.

  “I’ve been around. Just chilling with my friends,” I reply, keeping my focus on the door.

  “Well, when you’re done chilling with your friends, I know my friends are looking for a little bit more fun than that,” she says and walks into the bathroom.

  Christ, this is all I need right now. What the hell is Brooklyn doing in there? I really don’t need the groupie’s friend talking shit about me. Brooklyn will run out of here before I can even try to stop her. Thankfully, the door pushes open and she walks out, a small smile playing on her lips.

  “You actually waited for me,” she says, honestly impressed to see me there.

  “I told you I would. Now come on, let’s go hang out,” I say and wrap my arm around her shoulders.

  We get to the table and everyone is gone. They’re all dancing and that’s fine by me. I want to get to really know who Brooklyn is anyway and it’s much easier without them around. I ask her if she needs another water and she says yes, so I go get her one and myself a beer. When I get back to the table she graciously takes it. “So let’s start from the beginning. I’m Crosby Fitzgerald, better known as Fitz. I’m the lead singer of Renegade. Ethen, Ralph, Nate and I have been friends since high school and that’s when we started the band. I never in my wildest dreams thought we would be the success we are today.” I take a sip of my beer and raise my eyebrow at her.

  “Oh ummm okay. I’m Brooklyn Adler, I guess I’m better known as Brooke. My life is completely boring compared to what you’re used to,” she says and sips her water.

  “I call bullshit. Tell me more,” I push.

  She takes a deep breath and says, “I’m the manager at a bank. I’ve had the same routine for years and especially the last year since I’ve been with Hank.”

  Just hearing his name pisses me off. Why? I have no idea, I don’t know him or her for that matter, but from what Poppy said I just know I wouldn’t like him. I won’t let Brooklyn know that though. “So I guess things like this party are a bit overwhelming to you, huh?”

  “Without a doubt. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great and I’d love to be out there like Poppy, but it’s like I’m stuck being me,” she says and covers her face. “Sorry.”

  I pull her hands down and grin at her. “Please don’t keep telling me you’re sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong. Why do you say you’re stuck being you? I don’t think anyone is stuck, if you want to change, you can.” Hell if she only knew what I was planning to do minutes before I met her and now the only thought I have is wanting to know every detail about her.

  “Even if I wanted to try to change, Hank wouldn’t have it.”

  I hate him. What kind of guy wouldn’t allow his girl to change? Sounds like a complete douche bag. “So tell me, if you could change and Hank wasn’t in the picture, what would you be like?”

  She thinks for a minute and looks around smiling. “I’d be like Poppy. She is so full of confidence, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. Plus, the relationship she has with Nate, well it’s just something special.”

  “They definitely do have something special. Stop me if I’m getting too personal, but you’re with someone, isn’t it special?” I know I’m asking too much too fast, but I need to know what this guy is all about. Why the fuck would he let his beautiful girlfriend go to New York alone?

  She clears her throat and gives me a weak smile. “Maybe that’s for another time.” Got it, touchy subject.

  For the next hour, we talk about the band and what it is like on tour. How we got our start and I begin dishing out gossip on the guys. I have her laughing and I mean really laughing, which holy shit is somehow turning me on, it’s not something I’ve ever heard before. I hadn’t expected this sweet sound, almost musical, with the way it pitches up and down. The way she tosses her head back, her long brown hair falling down around her. Her emerald green eyes, brimming with tears of laughter. And let’s not forget the way her tits bounce each and every time. It’s not just turning me on, but seeing her so happy and into the conversation is pretty fucking cool.

  “So than Poppy walked in with a water gun and sprayed them both down. Ethen has yet to bring a groupie to her place again,” I say and we both laugh.

  “Holy shit, I would have loved to see that,” she says and eyes my beer for like the hundredth time.

  “Brooklyn, would you like to try my beer?”

  She bites her lip again and I reach over and rub my thumb over her bottom lip, releasing it from her perfect teeth. “We’ve been having fun, don’t get shy on me now. Try it, if you hate it, I’ll go get you something I know you’ll love.”

  I hand her my beer and she takes a tiny sip and nearly spits it out. I can’t help but laugh and I take it back. “Ew, how the hell do you guys drink that? It tastes horrible.”

  This time I nearly spit my beer out from laughter. She’s definitely getting more comfortable with me and I like that. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” I rush up to the bar and order a Malibu Bay Breeze. It’s sweet and I figure since she likes the smell of coconut, she probably likes how it tastes. I grab the drink and bring it back with me, handing it to her before I sit down. “Now try that and I guarantee, you’ll love it.”

  “Thank you, Fi
tz,” she says and brings the glass to her lips. She takes a small sip and then another and before she puts it down, she takes a large sip. “Holy crap, you were right, this is really good.”

  “Just remember, it has alcohol in it,” I say, not wanting her to chug the whole thing.

  When the drink hits her, she becomes completely relaxed, laughing and even flirting a little with me. It’s the alcohol, but damn I like it. She’s more of the party girl I’m used to, but a classy one, like Poppy. She’s been more open too, she’s been telling me about her structured life and how Hank has made it worse. She even told me that she isn’t happy with him anymore, but is too stuck in her routine to do anything.

  I don’t push her or ask anything that she would regret answering the next day, especially since she’s working on her second drink. I know I’m usually an asshole and don’t bother with worrying about women’s feelings, but she’s different. That and I’m feeling pretty drunk right now too.

  “Can I ask you something that’s bothering me?” I ask and she nods her head. “Why do you call yourself Brooke and Poppy says your name is Brooklyn?”

  She takes a sip of her drink and blows out a breath. “Hank says that Brooklyn is a city, not a woman’s name. He refuses to call me Brooklyn, so he calls me Brooke. Everyone back home calls me Brooke now. It’s just easier to let him call me Brooke and not argue about it.”

  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. What kind of piece of shit is this guy? I’m ready to fly out to California and beat his ass to teach him a little respect. Again, I know, look who’s talking, but when you have Brooklyn as your woman, why would you do anything but worship at her feet?

  “What name do you like better?” I ask.

  “Brooklyn,” she says with a smile.

  Feeling the full effects of the alcohol, I lean closer to her and rest my hand high up on her thigh. “You will always be Brooklyn to me,” I say and search her eyes. She is searching mine and I don’t know what the fuck is happening here, but the need to taste her is overwhelming. I need to know her taste and hear her sounds. I want to feel her pressed against me while I explore her mouth. I lean forward and the second my lips touch hers, she pushes me back.