“Well, finish up those beers boys, because we need to meet at the bus at six o’clock if we want to make good time,” Poppy says, speaking as our manager now. “We have one stop in Vegas for a show, than we go to California.” She looks at me and I wink. I try my damnedest to put on a front and I know they can see through it most of the time, but I’ll never stop.
“I guess there is only one thing left to say.” I look around the table and we all smile. “Sex, drugs and rock and roll, baby,” I say and they all laugh.
“Fuck yes, it’s time to get back to our fun. Right Fitz?” Ethen says, holding his hand up.
I hit it and nod. “Damn right.”
“No dirty ass skanks on the bus while we travel. You want to fuck them while it’s sitting still, have at it, but no one is coming along. Got it?” Poppy says looking at me, Ralph and Ethen.
“Relax Poppy. It’s not our first tour,” I say and she shakes her head in disappointment. I’ve wanted to ask her if she’s talked to Brooklyn, but I won’t. It will just make everything fresh and I don’t need that shit.
We sit and bullshit for about an hour before Poppy puts a stop to it. We all head home with the promise of meeting at Poppy’s by six. I get home, take a quick shower and finish packing. It sucks leaving our places and belongings behind, but once we are on the road, it starts to become home. That’s what I’m looking forward to, as I lay my head on the pillow for the last night for a few months.
The next morning, we’re all at Poppy’s around five thirty. Ralph stopped for coffee and breakfast, so we are eating and enjoying the last of our New York time.
“The bus is here, so finish up,” Poppy says, dragging her luggage into the living room.
“Damn woman, who the fuck is going to carry all that down?” Ethen says, laughing.
“Just for that, you get to carry the heavy ones,” she says and grabs her purse. “Come on, you all eat slower than chicks.”
Once everything is packed away in the bus and we are all on, Tony, our driver pulls away and our tour has begun.
**
We just got off the stage in Vegas and it was fucking incredible. The crowd was enormous, the energy was insane and our music was brilliant. I’m sweating, even without a shirt on and loving every second of it. This is when I feel alive. We’re ushered into the huge green room where the after party will be. It’s already set up with a few tables, a gigantic bar and our music playing. There is food everywhere, small sandwiches, shrimp, cheese and fruit platters and that’s just what I can see. There is even a spot to take photos. Pretty kickass.
“What a fucking show,” Ethen says when we walk through the door.
“Fuck yes, now let’s get our drink on,” Ralph says, heading to the bar.
I slap Ethen on the back and he smiles at me. “It was fucking amazing. The crowd was off the charts.”
“No shit and did you notice some of the chicks? Damn, I think we need to have a little party of our own. You know me, you and a chick or two,” he says and we both laugh.
“I’m game. Let’s see what the after party brings,” I say and grin.
“Fuck yes, my boy is back,” he says and I laugh before heading to the bar.
Sex is just sex. There is no connection for me, and I need a night of not thinking about other things. Sex and alcohol are the only way to make that happen and hell it’s been a long time since Ethen and I have partied like that.
The party is in full swing and the room is packed with people who paid extra just to be able to hang out with us. It always amazes me that people do that and I try my hardest to acknowledge them all. Everyone is drinking and dancing, so I take a minute to take it all in. I haven’t had a second to do that since the party started. It’s been picture after picture and signing things and bullshitting. I finally have a chance to scope out the scene.
“Check out the two blondes dancing over there,” Ethen says, nudging my shoulder.
I look to where he says and fuck, they are hot. One is shorter than the other, both have big tits, round asses, sexy low cut dresses and when they notice me looking the taller one pulls the other toward her. Oh fuck yes. “Ethen, grab them and let’s get to the bus.”
He does and they of course come with huge smiles on their faces. We step onto the bus and I lock the door behind us. “Holy shit, so it’s going to be the four of us?” The shorter one says looking around.
“Fuck yes, it is beautiful,” Ethen says, grabbing her and slamming his mouth to hers.
I move to the taller one and she grins when I reach around and squeeze her ass, pulling her to me. I kiss a path from her neck to the top of her fake tits. She lets out a soft moan and I use both hands to grab onto her ass. I slam my mouth to hers and once I do we become nothing, but frantic hands. I’m pulling at her clothes and she’s pulling at mine. Once we are down to just our underwear, I let go of her and pull the short one away from Ethen. He’s taking too much time getting her clothes off and I need this to get started already. I do the same to her and once she is down to her bra and panties, I look over at Ethen.
He nods his head and I look at them all and grin. “Let’s get into the bedroom.” Once in there I take control, that’s how it works when I’m with Ethen. We can’t both be in control or it would be a fucking train wreck. “Girls, get on the bed and undress each other.” They do and I look at Ethen smiling, they are fucking hot. My cock is hard as a rock and ready for some release.
I pull my boxers off and Ethen does the same. “Damn, you both are hot as hell,” the tall one says licking her lips.
“Baby, you haven’t seen anything yet,” Ethen says, moving toward the bed.
“You,” I point to the tall blonde. “Get on your hands and knees and you,” I point to the short one. “Get on your back with your pussy by her mouth. Ethen you fuck her, while she eats her out. I’ll join once it gets going.”
Ethen climbs on the bed and pulls the tall ones hair, making her look at him. “Eat that pussy good,” he says. He rolls on a condom and as soon as she starts to lick at her friend, he slams into her, causing them both to moan.
I have my cock in my hand slowly pumping watching the show in front of me. I love watching two girls, it’s so fucking hot and I can’t just stand by and watch any longer. I climb onto the bed and straddle the short one’s face. I pump my cock a few times by her mouth and she licks her lips, opening right up. I let my cock slide in and holy fuck, her hot mouth feels so fucking good. She starts sucking right away and I grab her hands, placing them on my ass. Listening to the tall blonde and Ethen moaning behind me and the short blonde sucking on me and moaning sending vibrations up my cock, making me start to fuck her mouth. She doesn’t fight it, just takes me in and I go faster.
“Damn Fitz, fuck her mouth like I’m fucking this pussy,” Ethen moans out and I almost lose it.
I look over my shoulder and see the blonde’s head moving fast on her friend’s pussy and Ethen’s hands digging into her ass. Fuck I need some pussy too. I look back down at the short blonde and I watch as my cock goes in and out of her mouth.
“Oh fuck yes,” the tall blonde yells.
“Don’t stop licking that pussy, don’t be greedy, she needs to come too,” Ethen says and I can hear in his voice he’s close.
“Use some teeth baby,” I say to the short blonde.
“Fuck, fuck, oh fuck,” Ethen shouts.
The short blonde must be close because she moans nonstop now and it helps me find my orgasm. “Oh fuck yes, drink it down baby,” I say, stilling in her mouth. Once I’m done I climb off of her and watch the tall blonde. “You need to add some fingers baby.” She does and the short one bucks off the bed. I lean forward and suck her nipple into my mouth.
“Shit, oh God,” she moans out and lifts her ass in the air, letting her friend lap every drop of her release.
“Fuck yes,” Ethen says, rolling on a new condom.
I motion for one and he tosses it. I roll it on and he pulls the tall one up. He sits
down on the chair and I pull the shorter one over. “You’re first. Sit on his cock,” I instruct and she slowly sinks down. “Your ass baby, I get the pussy.”
She bites her lip as she slowly sinks onto Ethen’s cock. Once he is fully inside her, I straddle them both and ram my cock into her soaking wet pussy.
“Fuck,” she yells out.
Ethen and I start to move in unison and she screams in ecstasy. “Feels fucking good being so full doesn’t it. Having my cock and Ethen’s cock inside you,” I growl.
“Fuck yes, I’ve never felt anything like this,” she moans.
I look over to see what the tall blonde is doing and she sits on the bed, rubbing her nipples. So fucking hot. “You want this don’t you?” She nods her head and pinches her nipples. “Come over here,” I demand, still pumping in and out of the other blonde.
She stands next to me and I reach my hand out and touch her pussy. “Oh yes,” she moans.
“You’re as wet as she is,” I moan as Ethen slams hard into her.
“I’m so fucking close, this is going to rip me apart,” the short one yells and seconds later, her pussy tightens around me and her ass squeezes Ethen. She screams as her orgasm tears through her and Ethen and I follow right behind.
Once I’m done, I pull out of her and stand up. I kiss the tall one as I pull off the condom, knotting it and dropping it where I stand. I pull away and she is breathless. “On the bed, all fours again,” I bark at her and she can’t get there fast enough. I look over at Ethen and he’s still fucking her and using his fingers for her pussy. I’ll let him have his fun. I roll on a new condom and stand behind the tall blonde. I smack her ass and she moans. “I normally don’t do this, but you want me in your ass or pussy?”
She wiggles her ass and says, “My ass, I’ll use my fingers.”
Fuck yes. I climb behind her and I take some of her wetness and spread it around her ass. I don’t want to hurt her, so after doing it a few times, I slowly push into her extremely tight ass. It grips my cock so tight, that I know this won’t last long. She screams with arousal and when I get fully in she pushes her ass against me wanting more.
“You like it hard, you got it,” I say and smack her ass as I start to move in and out.
“Fuck yes, faster,” she says and I grab onto her hips and do just that. “Fuck yes, fuck yes.”
The bed dips and Ethen gets in front of her, putting his cock in her waiting mouth. I look for the short blonde and she is standing by the bed. “Get your ass on here and lick her pussy like she did for you.” It’s difficult for her to find a position, but once she does, it’s too much. Watching Ethen’s dick going in and out of her mouth, her ass slapping against me and her friend moaning as she eats her pussy. “Fuck, I can’t hold on much longer,” I growl and smack her ass again.
“Fuck, let go brother,” Ethen says, pulling the tall blonde’s hair.
She screams around Ethen’s cock and I feel her ass squeeze me, pulling my orgasm right out of me. Ethen growls and fucks her mouth until he’s done.
I toss the condom and look at the three of them laying on the bed sweating. It’s been a long time since I’ve done something like this and I needed this release, but now that it’s over I am starting to feel like I just cheated on Brooklyn. Fuck, I need to get the hell out of here and that is just what I do, leaving them to finish whatever they want.
I sit down on the couch and close my eyes. “Fuck Brooklyn, I wish it was you in there,” I whisper. I don’t know if life will ever be the same and I don’t know what else to do to fix it.
“Hank, do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” I ask, hopeful.
He puts down his paper and looks at me. “Brooke, you have asked me every single day since you got back from New York if I want to do something different. What the hell happened to the routine? I like the routine,” he says, shrugging his shoulders and picking his paper back up.
Right, the fucking routine. I get my keys and go to work, stopping at the coffee house on my way.
“Hey Brooke, the usual?” the barista asks.
“No, not the usual. I want an egg sandwich and an iced coffee. By the way, my name is Brooklyn,” I say and move to the side.
This month since I’ve been home has been miserable. I don’t think I’ve smiled once. Hank and I do nothing but fight, and that’s because all I’ve done is try to change him. I’m trying to turn him into someone he isn’t, someone that I want him to be. That’s not fair to him or to me. I’ve been hoping the girls from work ask to go out, but they haven’t. They just want to know what it was like to hang out with Renegade and every time they bring up Fitz, I die a little more.
I haven’t talked to Poppy since I texted her to tell her I made it home safely. I’m sure she is just as disgusted with me as Fitz is. As much as I’m disgusted with myself. The guilt I feel from walking away from him is something I’m not sure will ever go away. The only thing I can do is try to avoid talking about my trip.
“Brooklyn,” the barista says and I grab my breakfast thanking her.
Once I get to work, I sit down at my desk and instead of going over emails like I normally would, I do something I promised myself I wouldn’t. I go onto the Renegade fan page and look to see when they will be here. I don’t look at any pictures or read anything, I go right to the tour schedule. I look to see when they will be in this area and close the site. I blink back tears knowing they will be here in two weeks.
“Hey Brooke, you want to go out tonight and get a few drinks?” Cora, one of the tellers asks.
“Please, call me Brooklyn and yes, you know what I would love that,” I say.
The look of shock on her face is priceless and if I had it in me to laugh I would. I just give her a forced grin and she returns it with a huge smile.
“Okay great. We are going to leave from here, grab some food and then to go to the bar. You can follow or hop in with us,” she says, leaning against the door frame.
“I’ll follow. Thanks Sara,” I say and she walks away still smiling.
Ever since I got home I just feel this need to do something. The routine no longer works for me. I don’t want to do the same thing day in and day out. I want to have fun and that is not how it’s been. Speaking of not having fun, I pick up the phone to call Hank. Might as well get it over with.
“Hello?” he answers and I hear him typing away.
“Hey it’s me. I just wanted to let you know I’m going out after work with the girls,” I say and sip my iced coffee.
He’s quiet for a minute and then he clears his throat. “Brooke, you go out and do whatever it is you need to do. Tomorrow we need to talk,” he says.
I know exactly what it is we need to talk about, this relationship. It’s not working anymore. New York changed me, Fitz changed me. I’m no longer the girl who wants the routine life, I’m the girl who wants to go out and have fun. Laugh with friends, get drunk and have crazy hot sex. Hank can’t and won’t do any of those things. I tried several times since I’ve been back to get him to just let loose and make me feel sexy. I’ve worn my new panties and he was disgusted by it. I bought new lingerie and he told me I looked trampy. I did my hair and makeup and he said I looked like I belonged on the corner. He’s not once touched me, not once told me I look beautiful or sexy or hell even nice. I need more and Hank is not it.
“We definitely need to talk. I won’t be home until late, so maybe it’s best if you just go to your place tonight,” I say, not even feeling bad.
“I packed my things this morning,” he says and I shake my head. Of course you did.
“Alright, well I’ll call you when I get up tomorrow and maybe we can meet for breakfast.” I toss my empty coffee cup in the garbage and lean back in my chair.
“That doesn’t work. I’ll stop by on my way to the gym,” he says with no emotion at all.
“Okay, bye.” I hang up and don’t even wait for him to say anything.
I’m just done at this point. Change is scary, bu
t if I learned anything in New York, it’s that I’m capable of a hell of a lot more than I give myself credit for. I mean shit, I ran from the paparazzi, put myself in multiple sexual situations and never once had the same schedule. That week was by far the best week of my life and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it every single day. My thoughts always go back to the nervous girl I was stepping off the plane to the heart broken one that got back on. So much happened in a week and sure I didn’t deal with it well, but I’d go back and do it all again in a heartbeat. I try to just think of how much that trip changed me, turned me from a naïve girl to a brave woman, because if I think of Fitz and how I fell for him, I’ll never be able to move on.
For the next few hours I keep myself busy with work and when the bank closes, I am so thankful. I no longer like being here. Like so many people, I just do it for the money, but a month and a half ago I thought I loved it. I’m so damn confused about everything now, I hardly know which end is up.
“Brooklyn, we’re all proved out. Easy night. Must be a sign to get our drink on early,” Jessica says, laughing as she flips her red hair.
I wish I could laugh with her, but I’m not ready yet. “Must be.” I look around to make sure everything is off and locked. “Alright, let’s get the hell out of here,” I say and we all leave.
I follow Cora, Jessica and Sam, who drove in one car, to a small diner. We get out and head inside, picking a red booth in the back. I pick up my menu, which is hard to see in the dim light of this fifties themed diner.
“Brooklyn, what made you finally decide to come out with us?” Sam asks.
I put my menu down and look at them. They are all staring at me, waiting for some kind of incredible story or something. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just looking for a change,” I say and pick my menu back up. Not so much to look for what I want, but to hide behind it.
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