Royal Pains

by CN Thornton

  Christine looked just like her father, with a light-bronze tint to her skin. She had a straight nose, full lips, striking light-brown eyes and beautiful dark-brown hair that fell past her shoulders in waves.

  "I'm Emmaline," I responded, walking deeper into her room to look at everything on the walls. For having been born in Linacre, she sure seemed… not so Linacrean.

  "I'll go get Katarina," Katherine said and closed the door behind herself.

  Christine laughed. "You probably won't be meeting Katarina tonight. She snuck out to see her boyfriend."

  "It's okay. I wasn't exactly up for meeting anyone today to begin with. It's been hard adjusting and the arranged marriage… It's—"

  "A lot to deal with. It's understandable. I mean, I don't have to worry about the kinds of things you do, since you are going to be a queen. But the expectations are crazy," she responded.

  I looked at her in disbelief. Had she actually just agreed with my view on things? I was already starting to like this girl.

  I let out a breath of relief and took a seat on her bed. "Seriously though, life isn't fair."

  "That's because we are women."

  "I honestly have no idea how I am going to survive this life. I can't be what they expect me to be."

  "You know what I do?" she asked, and I waited for her to continue. "I create a bubble. Whenever I am outside of my bubble, I pretend to be whatever is expected of me. I like to pretend it's an acting job, like those people in movies. Then when I return to my bubble, I'm just myself. Linacrean women aren't supposed to talk about traveling and seeing the world. They aren't supposed to wear anything other than respectable Linacrean clothes, and they can't be barefoot. Music, or dancing in any way that isn't appropriate—basically anything outside of ballroom dancing and classical music—is frowned upon. But you see, there is a loophole. This stuff is prohibited in public view. When you are in your own quarters, there is nothing wrong with it. They just don't want us to know about that loophole.

  "Now tell me," she continued. "What do you like to do? What makes you you?"

  The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to have my camera again and take pictures. I wanted my music and my comfortable clothes.

  "Just make your space your space. It doesn't matter what is in your space, after all. It will be your escape zone."

  "You are going to have to help me recreate my room. I don't even know where to begin, or where to buy things. I mean, how would I get this stuff in the palace without anyone noticing? Won't they search my mail?"

  Christine laughed. "No. It's against the law. If it has your name on it, only you can open it. Not even the king himself can go through someone else's mail without a good reason."

  I spent the rest of the evening talking to Christine. We laughed a lot and talked about the weirdness of our relationships. Surprisingly, I found out she was engaged to marry Theodore's twin brother Alexander.

  When it was time to leave, I invited Christine to come visit me the next day. It was nice to finally have a person I saw as a friend and could be myself with.

  "How did your evening go?" Theodore asked as we started back to my apartment.

  I smiled to myself, thinking he wouldn't be able to see it in the dimly lit corridor. "It was okay. Christine is a decent young lady."

  "And Katarina?" he asked.

  "Oh, I didn't meet her. She was busy."

  I opened my door, bid Theodore goodnight and went to get ready for bed. First order of comfort, get rid of the frilly floor-length nightgowns and bring in my lounge wear. Shorts, sweats, t-shirts and tank tops. Those were a must.

  While I lay in bed, I began thinking about Christine and how I had finally made a promising friendship. I was grateful to have this, especially since I wasn't allowed to talk to my old friends.

  Then I got an idea.

  I pulled on my robe and slippers, then made sure my ladies were in their beds before I snuck away from my apartment. I retraced the path Theodore and I had taken when he'd showed me the leisure wing. I stayed to the shadows and out of sight, ducking and hiding whenever I saw movement.

  The library at night was creepy, with towering bookcases casting eerie shadows everywhere. With the light of the moon that shone through the high windows, I found my way to the computers and clicked into the browser. Logging in to my Facebook, I went straight to my messages, hoping to find one from Bash.

  To my relief, his was at the top of the inbox, the most recent one sent just a few weeks ago.

  Em, she's dead. My sister is dead. I found out just yesterday. The yacht she was on got caught in a storm and it sank. There were only a few bodies recovered, hers being one of them, but there were no survivors.

  Em, I wish you were here. I could really use you right now.

  Reading his note broke my heart. I had to respond.

  BASH! I miss you so much and I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could be there for you. I would do anything, give anything to be able to be back with you right now.

  I'm sorry I couldn't write sooner, I just found out today this place actually has modern technology. They are so old fashioned with the social aspects of life, though. I'm literally not even supposed to be talking to you right now. In this country it is considered inappropriate for a woman to have friendships with men, or even people that are considered too low in status. I was forbidden to talk to any of my friends from my old life, so I had to sneak into the library at night to send this to you.

  Message me as soon as you get this. I will try and sneak back every night. I promise.

  I love you so much Bash.

  Em

  I pressed the send button and then went back to my inbox to see who else had messaged me. To my surprise, one of the people was Liam. I opened his message.

  I hope wherever you are, you are doing okay. I miss seeing your beautiful smile and spending time with you and I'm sorry our date never happened. I was looking forward to it.

  It was simple and sweet. Just like Liam.

  I'm doing okay. This country is a little weird, but I'm learning to play the role that is expected of me when eyes are watching. The view is nice, but I would trade it all to have that date with you.

  I enjoyed our time together. Maybe one day I will find a way to sneak back to Australia to see you.

  I pressed the send button and went to check out my notifications when a new message popped up. It was Liam.

  I honestly never thought I would hear from you again. Especially with how things ended. We looked everywhere for you, so you know. But it was too late. You were just gone.

  I frowned at the screen and began typing my response.

  I thought I would never be able to write to anyone from my old life again. The rules here are super strict. I had to sneak out of my room just to get on the computer.

  There was a pause as he was typing.

  You snuck out to see me :)

  I snickered to myself.

  Don't get too cocky now. My first intention was to write Sebastian. Then I saw your message.

  I waited for his response.

  Second thought, I'll take it. I've been thinking about you lately. About how you felt in my arms. I kick myself repeatedly that I never got to kiss you.

  I felt bad about the way his message made me feel. The security of being in his arms when we'd watched movies together. The thought of kissing his lips I had to constantly push out of my mind. Thinking about all that caused the same response from my conscience I got whenever I felt guilty about something. Like I'd betrayed someone.

  Like I was betraying Theodore.

  But it wasn't the same, right? This was strictly business. We were only together for the monarchy. We would only have kids to continue the monarchy. There could never be any real romance between us, right?

  I won't lie, I miss that too. I'm always going to wonder what could have been. Maybe one day you could sneak into Linacre and I could sneak out to see you.

  ...

  That is a very te
mpting thought. Well, I'm sorry to say I must leave you for now. I have to return to work, gotta pay my bills.

  Sweet dreams, Emmaline.

  I watched his name jump to the "offline" segment of the chat feature and then I signed out of Facebook.

  My walk back to my room was like a walk of shame. The amount of guilt washing over me made me want to exit my mind. When I got back to my room, I checked the time and saw it was just before midnight.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Anya greeted me when I woke up the next morning. I almost didn't want to get out of bed to deal with Theodore, especially with how terrible I felt about the messages between Liam and myself last night. The worst part was my body seemed to mimic my mental state. I felt so achy.

  "Theodore wanted to let you know he is sorry he will have to cancel his plans today. Important matters have come up and they cannot be ignored."

  "It's no problem," I responded in a hoarse voice, then clutched at my throat and tried to clear it. "It's…" I tried again. "I think I'm losing my voice."

  She wrote something in her agenda. "Honey with tea always helps," she suggested. "Sit and relax and I will have little Saoirse make you some."

  I didn't object. Just as Anya was passing back through to leave, I asked her to invite Christine Sheppard to have breakfast with me. If Theodore wasn't available, I would spend the day with Christine. It was a win/win.

  Christine arrived just as breakfast was brought in. I decided to eat inside since I felt too sore to tackle long corridors and stairs just to get to the gardens.

  "I've been thinking since last night," Christine began. "Have you ever heard of the abroad program?"

  "The what?"

  "It's this program where you spend time in another country to learn about their culture—though it's really about trying to build alliances. For example, if I were to go abroad I would be placed with a monarchy in whatever country and I would learn how my life would be if I lived there."

  "Sounds boring." Trading one life of monarchy just to learn about another.

  "The general idea is. But think about it—the freedom. Being able to wear normal-people clothes. Going shopping and getting pampered." She sighed dreamily.

  "Just the thought of wearing normal clothes again sounds great, but I honestly don't think Theodore would allow it. He'd probably assume I'd go just to run off again."

  "Again?" Christine laughed as she started on her breakfast of poached eggs.

  "Yes, when we were in America I ran to Australia with my best friend. He wasn't too happy about that," I replied in a monotone.

  She burst into laughter. "I think about running away all the time. It seems the only people who want to marry princes and become princesses are those that aren't forced into the life."

  "Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes.

  She took another bite of her egg. "You haven't touched your food yet. Do you not like poached eggs? Cause if you don't I can see if they have anything else."

  I shook my head and ran my hand down my face. "I'm fine," I croaked. "Just feeling a bit crummy today. I think the stress is making me sick or something."

  "I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone knows stress weakens the immune system, which in turn makes you susceptible to colds. Well, you should get some rest. I wouldn't want you getting any worse. This country is a bit old fashioned with remedies."

  "That doesn't surprise me," I replied sarcastically.

  After breakfast, I managed to talk Christine into staying and hanging out with me. We spent most of the morning drawing designs to recreate my space, and even started scribbling pictures of outfits. It was fun.

  By the time lunch came around, the entire sitting room was littered with drawings and blueprints. Like breakfast, I didn't eat my lunch.

  Once the lunch dishes had been cleared from our workspace, we went back to drawing and started talking about traveling the world—all the different places we both wanted to see.

  The Great Barrier Reef was one of the many places Christine mentioned, so I was excited to tell her all about the time I'd spent in Australia and the beautiful scenery we had seen, including the Great Barrier Reef.

  We were talking about what kinds of music we enjoyed when Lady Peyton interrupted us to let me know Theodore would like to see me.

  The guilty feeling I'd managed to suppress most of the day came back again.

  Before I had the chance to decline and tell him I was busy, Christine started gathering the drawings and went on about helping her mother with something she had just remembered.

  Once the room was finally clean and Christine had gone, Theodore came in and took a seat across from me. He looked tense.

  "You look like you could use a drink," I said with my faltering voice.

  He moved to the edge of his seat, suddenly attentive. "What is wrong with your voice?"

  I frowned and shook my head. "That makes two of us looking for the answer to that question. Maybe you beat it out of me last night." I added, the bitterness I still felt towards him making itself present.

  He frowned at my comment.

  Yeah, I hope you feel bad.

  The guilt inside me continued to grow every second I was near him. I hated that I felt like this, but I partially blamed Theodore for basically forcing me to sneak behind his back.

  "Lady Moana says you haven't eaten anything today. Why is that?" he proceeded to ask.

  "Don't you dare start this with me, making me feel like you care about me when in reality you only care how I make you look. I understand, okay. I'll be that perfect Linacrean princess, queen, whatever when you need me to, but when I'm in my zone—" I gestured wildly around the room. "I will be myself. And right now, myself doesn't want to eat because she isn't feeling up to bat, okay?"

  Theodore didn't argue and stood to leave the room, but not before pressing his lips to my forehead and whispering into my ear, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Then he left.

  His calm reaction made me feel even worse, if that was at all possible. I ended up resigning myself to bed with my father's journal.

  Opening his journal, I turned to a random page and began reading.

  It has begun again, the plague. The people outside the courts have been told to stay in their homes and to quarantine anyone that starts showing signs of sickness. We have closed the gates to the courts and my family has been placed in an apartment with limited staff to decrease the chance of any possible contamination.

  So far there have been no illnesses.

  This was how it had begun. Part of me didn't want to continue reading, but the other part of me needed to be close to my father again, even if just for a brief moment.

  I contemplated for a second, then turned the page.

  It's inside the courts.

  This morning I received word that Chance Dunkin is sick. His wife and their two children are ill as well. The physician that spoke to them about their symptoms said it is indeed the plague that has struck them.

  The entire family has been taken to the dungeons to be quarantined. He was a good man, Chance.

  The next entry was dated a week or so later.

  My sister-in-law has fallen ill. She was taken away this morning to be quarantined. I am worrying my family will be next. After all, she was with them in their apartment most days.

  If Katherine was right about how the sickness had spread, I knew I was next. My fingers hovered over the corner of the page as I tried to decide whether I wanted to read what was coming next.

  Like before, though, curiosity got the best of me.

  She's sick. My precious Emmaline has been reported ill. I have refrained from moving her into quarantine with all the sick and had her moved into an apartment by herself. Her appointed lady has reported to me that she hasn't stopped crying. It breaks my heart to know there is nothing I can do to make her better.

  I want to see her. I want to help ease her pain and comfort her until it's over.

  A tear fell on my hand and I quickly wiped
my eyes. There was only one entry left, and I knew what happened in the end.

  This is it.

  The past couple days I have been feeling terrible. It started out as a rash, which I thought might have been an allergic reaction to something I ate. But then came the tightness in my chest and the labored breathing.

  Not only do I have it, but my son as well. We are to be quarantined with Emmaline. At least I will be able to comfort them until it is all over.

  It's a pity I will never get to see my son take the throne or my daughter get married. Though these were things I've dreaded, not wanting them to grow up, I would now give anything to witness them living their lives.

  I stared at the page, longing for more words from my father, hoping more pages would appear in his journal. But that would never happen. My father was dead. This was his last entry.

  Closing the book, I wrapped my arms around it and closed my eyes as I cried to myself.

  Part of me wanted comfort, but I didn't think I could talk to Christine about this just yet. There was only one person in my life I could actually talk to about my family.

  I took care to place the journal back on the bookshelf before slipping from my room to head to the library. Luckily it was late and I ran into no one, because I wasn't exactly taking care not to be seen. I just wanted to get my hands on that computer so I could write Bash.

  When I logged into Facebook, I went straight to his message and read it.

  Emmaline, it is wonderful to hear from you after all this time. I am glad you are doing okay and I am sorry for all that you have gone through. Write me soon.