Royal Pains

by CN Thornton

  All I could think about was Bash, the pain he was going through and how I couldn't be there for him.

  "I'm so sorry," I managed to get out.

  Once she had finished packing away her tools, she told me to get some rest and let me know she would stay here for the next couple days, until she could see some decent improvement in my health.

  With Cote gone from the room, it was just Theodore and myself. Like before, he took a seat on the bed beside me, only this time he pulled me into his arms and held me. His long fingers brushed tenderly through my hair as he hummed to me.

  Before I fell asleep, I heard him mutter something.

  "I love you."

  Or maybe it was just my exhausted mind.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The next morning, I felt noticeably better. I was still in a lot of pain, but it wasn't as bad as it had been the past week and a half. I turned over to face the window and realized it had been a while since I had been outside. I had even briefly thought I might never get the chance to go outside ever again. But here I was.

  With much effort, I pushed myself into a sitting position. I wanted water. After a week and a half of nothing but elderberry tea, I was more than desperate.

  "Moana!" I called out. Though my throat still felt raw and my mouth dry, my voice was a little stronger than the day before, when it had barely been a whisper.

  "Princess." Saoirse entered the room and sank into a curtsy.

  A grin flitted across my face when I saw her. She looked radiant, wearing her own personally tailored dress.

  "Lady Saoirse, would you be kind and help me to my feet? I need to stretch my legs and I would like some water."

  She hesitated but helped me. Like the first night I'd been sick, I steadied myself on the bed post and let myself get used to my weight. I could feel my heart racing in my chest from the shock of doing something it hadn't done for nearly two weeks.

  "Princess, maybe you should lie back down. I will get you water once you are tucked back in, if that is what you want."

  I waved away the thought of lying back down as if it were a fly near my head. I'd had enough sleep for a while and couldn't bear lying in that bed any longer.

  "Just help me to the sitting room, and then I would like some water." That sentence alone tasted foreign on my tongue. Giving orders wasn't my favorite thing to do—I didn't even like taking them.

  Once I was comfortably seated in my chair, Saoirse disappeared to get my water. She had only been gone for half a minute or so when I couldn't take it anymore. I needed fresh air, needed to feel the sun on my skin.

  I slowly got up and shuffled across the room to the balcony, then opened the doors. Leaning against the railing, I took in the familiar view of the gardens below and the town outside the courts. As a breeze blew against my skin, I closed my eyes and tilted my face up to meet the sun, which felt like a warm silk blanket draping over my body.

  The sun suddenly disappeared behind a cloud and I let out a sigh. Opening my eyes, I took a seat on the patio chair and rested my head against the balcony railing.

  "Princess." Saoirse handed me my water. "And Mrs. Cote said for you to take these. She will be in to check on you shortly." She handed me two pills and then curtsied.

  I stared at the pills and scoffed to myself. That shot and these pills were the simple difference between life and death for me. It was funny how such small things could make the biggest difference. After sticking the two pills into my mouth, I took a sip of water and swallowed them.

  Around noon, Saoirse announced lunch. The thought of actually digesting something that wasn't elderberry tea had my stomach churning angrily. My lunch ended up being nothing but soup, but it was still better than the tea by far. I ate it quickly and was begging for seconds when Cote entered the sitting room.

  "You look better than yesterday." She smiled.

  "I feel better than I did yesterday."

  She got to work on taking my vitals, letting me know each one showed improvement. It was towards the end that she began asking about how I had gotten sick.

  "I don't know how I got sick. I've only been around a handful of people since I got here. Is anyone else sick?"

  She shook her head. "None that I have heard of. Then again, I would suspect only the physician would know. I was brought here with one purpose, to make you better." She paused and lowered her voice. "How is he treating you?" she asked.

  I sat back in my chair and took a deep breath.

  "Sebastian called me the night everything went down in Australia. He sounds like a horrible person."

  I smiled a little to myself. Before I had gotten to know the real Theodore, I hadn't exactly been sure of who he was. All I had seen was the monster who destroyed my life. Now that I could actually see things, I knew him as the person who hadn't destroyed my life but introduced me to it.

  The way I used to live wasn't who I was supposed to be. I had been stubborn, reluctant and severely oppositional towards everything to do with this life. I had thought a lifestyle could make a person monstrous, like my mother, but it didn't have to. Certainly there was good and bad in everything.

  "Honestly, Cote, I think he is a gentleman." She gave me a bewildered look. "I cannot excuse his actions in the simplest of words because it is difficult for even me to comprehend on the best of days, but he has been wonderful to me these past couple months."

  She pursed her lips and looked at me as if she didn't believe a word of what I had just said.

  "Well, as long as he isn't hurting you."

  I smiled sweetly. "He hasn't laid a finger on me." Though it wasn't entirely truthful, I thought it best not to bring up the few spankings he had given me for my disobedience. As far as I saw it, we had started on a new slate that night in the gardens when Theodore had told me he would do anything to make us work.

  In less than two weeks, we would officially be seen as husband and wife in the country of Linacre. The idea of it all rattled me a bit, because this wasn't exactly normal. On top of that, the idea of consummating our marriage made me want to bury myself six feet under. How the hell was I supposed to have sex with Theodore while his parents and others watched? I was a friggin virgin. I barely felt comfortable in my own skin.

  "Yeah, everything is fine. I promise." She patted my leg and then picked up her medical bag. "Hey," I called as she started towards the door. "Do me a favor and let Sebastian know I'm okay. Please. He means the world to me."

  "I will." She smiled and then left.

  In a week and a half, I would be marrying the only person in this castle I saw as a friend. Did I have feelings for him? Yes, but part of me felt like that was only because of physical attraction. He was undeniably handsome. The real question was—could I see myself actually loving him?

  I didn't want to think too much on that. Especially while recovering from a sickness that had almost taken my life. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to relax myself.

  Calm thoughts. Happy thoughts. Calm thoughts. Happy thoughts.

  When I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at the bookcase. I crossed the room to retrieve my father's journal, feeling an overwhelming need to feel close to him.

  She said yes! I asked her for her hand in marriage and to move to the North, and she has said yes. The wedding will be held in the North Palace. I can't wait for her to become my wife. Soon the three of us will be living at the North Palace as King, Queen and Prince.

  I'm glad I didn't listen to Jonathan Gretty when he told me to have the king send her away the second we found out she was pregnant with my child. I would've missed out on one of the best things in my life—being a father. Little Daniel will be nine years old tomorrow, and one day he will take my place as King.

  So my parents hadn't been married when Daniel was born. This news was intriguing. I smiled and turned the page to begin reading a new entry, this one dated several years later.

  January 2nd, 1993

  The day I had been born.

 
Today we welcomed a beautiful little princess into our family. Her name is Emmaline Charlotte and she is every bit as beautiful as her mother. The entire pregnancy, we thought she might be a boy because Eleanore craved quail eggs like she had with Daniel. Alas, it was a girl.

  She entered the world to prove us wrong. I already know she will be headstrong. I hope these next years slow down, though, and she stays a child for as long as possible. Daniel is already twelve years of age, which means we have four more years until he begins courting eligible young women to find his future bride. The same will become of Emmaline when she is old enough, courting King Edward's eldest twin son. The thought of her marrying the future king of Linacre and becoming Queen when she comes of age makes me weep inside. I want my kids to stay small forever. For them to never have to deal with a single day of stress, let alone a lifetime of it.

  Being royal can be very taxing. Though, it does have its perks.

  Happy birthday to my lovely daughter and myself.

  My father and I had the same birthday… This fact made my heart swell with a certain joy.

  I decided this would be a good place to stop for the day. Closing the journal, I tucked it back in its spot on the bookshelf and found my way outside to the gardens.

  The sun was back out again, warming my skin. Yawning as I stumbled through the rows of bushes, I stopped under a hanging wisteria tree and lay down on the grass to bathe in the warmth of the light.

  Part of my stubborn old self surfaced, and a little smile crossed my lips as I thought of all the Linacrean etiquette I was disobeying. The first—being in the sun without a parasol to protect my skin. The second—I wasn't properly dressed, but still in my night things. The third—I wasn't wearing any shoes.

  I could imagine my mother being here right now. She would probably burst a vein in her head if she saw me. That imagery caused me to giggle.

  As dinner time grew closer and the sun began to set, it grew increasingly warm, which made me drowsy enough to doze off.

  Then the voices woke me.

  "I thought Theodore had her under control!" an unfamiliar male voice hissed angrily. I thought maybe I was dreaming when I opened my eyes.

  "Certainly there is an explanation," a woman's voice responded.

  I blinked a few times to clear my vision and gasped when I saw the king and queen standing above me. I didn't know what to say or think. All my knowledge of appropriate actions had slipped from my mind and left me stuttering.

  "I'm…" That was all I could get out.

  The king moved to grab me by my arm and yank me to my feet. This sudden roughness was too much for my body and I collapsed under the exertion.

  "What are you doing!" I screamed as he yanked me up again.

  "I've had it with your disobedience. I will not have you besmirching the monarchy with your negligent actions."

  "I'm sorry!" I shouted as he pulled me towards the palace.

  Tears sprang from my eyes as he half-dragged me through the corridors and into a room off the first floor. He threw me to the ground and turned to a wall with several frightening-looking instruments hanging on it.

  The one he picked up had a long handle with several long, thin leather strips. The flogger. What in the hell was he going to do with it? Though somehow, I knew.

  "Victoria, leave us."

  I looked up at the queen, silently pleading for her to do something to save me from what would come next.

  "Don't make it worse," was all she said to me before closing the door behind her.

  The second the door clicked, he raised his arm and forcefully brought it back down, causing the flogger's many fingers to whip my skin. I let out a mangled scream as pain flooded my body from the points of impact.

  Stay down, Emmaline. Don't make it worse. Just take it and then go. I repeated this to myself as he hit me another time, causing my scream to crack from the strain on my vocal chords.

  He hit me again and again. I was on my ninth lashing when the door opened and broke his focus.

  "Get out! Her punishment needs to be completed!" King Edward's voice boomed.

  "Father…" It was Theodore. "Please. Whatever she did, I'm certain she has had enough and will never do it again."

  "Hogwash!" he shouted. "You said you had her under control and then I find her lying outside with no sun protection and no shoes, all while dressed in her scanty night things. She needs to be corrected, properly. Thirty lashes, ten for each offense," he said in an authoritative tone.

  Thirty lashes! My heart sank. I was only at nine and already in so much pain.

  "Father, please," Theodore begged again.

  "A king does not go back on his word. My word is stone."

  "I'll take the rest of her lashings, then. She is my responsibility after all, and I failed," he said when King Edward began to raise his arm again.

  I saw him think over Theodore's words. He then raised his arm again and brought the flogger down against my back. He did this five more times, then paused.

  "Theodore, come and kneel." I heard the first smack of the flogger against his skin, and he groaned in pain. "Let this teach you a lesson, boy." Another smack. "When you fail as King and Queen, you fail equally." The sound of the flogger hitting his skin and the cries of his pain were a gruesome mix.

  After another thirteen lashes, his father mumbled for us to get cleaned up and left us in the room. I crawled over to where Theodore was still hunched over and touched his face.

  "I'm sorry." I winced between clenched teeth. "I…" I took a breath, bringing on another wince. "I wasn't thinking. I just needed to feel the sun and the breeze on my skin."

  Theodore took in a deep breath and then pushed himself up onto his feet. The look on his face was severe. Like he was holding in his pain, as if he thought showing it would make him look weak.

  As he leaned towards me I flinched, half-expecting the old Theodore to show his ugliness, but then he carefully brought me to my feet before lifting me into his arms and starting out of the room.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Theodore carried me in his arms all the way back to the apartment. I thought for a moment he was taking me back to my room, until I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of deep brown covering the walls. This wasn't my apartment.

  "Where are we?" I winced as he set me on a chair in the sitting room.

  He didn't respond, just limped stiffly out of the room. Then I heard water running from what I suspected was the bathroom. The water ran for a few good minutes, and I even dozed off a bit from the overwhelming exhaustion and pain. Only when I was lifted into Theodore's arms again did I stir.

  When he set me down this time, we were in the bathroom.

  "What are we doing here?" I breathed, my head bobbing slightly as my body basically closed in on itself.

  Then he was kneeling before me.

  "Please give me permission to touch your body," he said through clenched teeth.

  "Why?"

  "An Epsom salt bath. It helps the wounds heal."

  I quickly accepted, willing to try anything to stop the pain.

  Carefully, he undressed me until I was completely naked. I could feel the air stinging my back wounds. I hardly noticed Theodore undressing himself, but when he lifted me into his arms again I only felt his skin—no shirt.

  When we got in the water, he adjusted himself so he was sitting behind me, then pulled me back into his arms. The pain in my back was worse than I had ever felt in my life. Nothing, no pain I could recall, could ever compare.

  And the salt burned.

  But after soaking in it awhile, I began to feel a little better. Just a little.

  "I'm sorry," I said to him again. "This is all my fault."

  "I know," he said numbly. "I regret nothing, though. I protected my queen."

  And I thought it was that moment that finally brought everything into perspective. I wasn't here because Theodore needed me to get himself the throne. I was here because Theodore wanted me beside him at th
e throne.

  After our bath, Theodore took me back to my apartment and had my ladies put an aloe wrap on me, to ease the burning enough for me to sleep comfortably tonight. I was still healing from my sickness, so this was a bit of a setback.

  Even the next morning was a struggle. I rolled over, then let out a shriek as it felt like my back had been lit on fire. My ladies were quickly at my side to put more aloe on my back and wrap me again.

  "Are you hungry, Princess?" Saoirse asked.

  I quickly declined, and they led me into my dressing room to be dressed for the day. My ladies put me in thin clothes, which might have helped if not for the corset and other various layers I had to wear. The corset was super snug and constricting. It hurt as they laced it up, but the pressure was kind of nice afterward.

  The only thing on my mind was Theodore. I needed to know he was okay. When I entered his apartment next door, the curtains were drawn and the lights were out.

  "Theodore?" I called out. No answer.

  I checked out the sitting room, but it was empty. I looked in the bathroom next, thinking maybe he was taking a bath, but he wasn't. This left the bedroom.

  When I walked into his room, I paused for a second to take in his space. There were books everywhere, parchment paper, and ink wells. He clearly worked constantly, and he wasn't even King yet.

  Hanging on the wall in the corner was that picture of me he had been talking about the other day. The memory he had shared with me put a small smile on my face, but that smile faltered when I saw Theodore lying on his stomach on the bed, shirtless. The stripes on his back knotted my stomach, and I felt like I might be sick.

  I went to Moana for aloe, then returned to Theodore and began putting it on his back. He inhaled sharply and let out a groan when I touched his skin, but I continued. Once I had finished, I wrapped him up to secure the aloe to his skin.