Graham's Resolution Trilogy Bundle: Books 1-3

by A. R. Shaw

  She closed the door quietly, tore open the test kit and began the procedure, remembering the first time she’d gone through this routine. All the while, she couldn’t keep her hands from shaking with fear of the results. “Please no, please no,” she chanted to herself over and over, quietly sobbing. She finally pulled the wand up, braving a peek . . . and now she knew. No more waiting. No more uncertainty.

  The pit of her stomach tightened, and her widened eyes flooded with tears from shock of the affirmation. Both happy and horrified, as she began to allow herself to sob, a loud commotion sounded from the living room. She quickly pocketed the supplies into her gray cable sweater and wiped away the tears as Bang’s small footsteps came toward the bathroom door.

  He had nearly bumped into her as he rounded the corner with reddened cheeks and freezing, chapped hands. His ear-to-ear grin told her he’d been having fun with Graham and Macy outside. Their loud talking and boisterous mood cut through her desperation, the fear she’d created for herself there in the small bathroom as she contemplated the possibility of a new life in their midst, and the equally frightening possibility of having to end it.

  “You guys sound happy,” she heard herself say.

  “Graham raced me to the door, but he tripped and fell,” Bang said.

  “I didn’t fall. Macy shoved me,” Graham defended himself, making Macy laugh maniacally and chase him.

  Graham, continuing the game, turned on Macy. She emitted a piercing scream and ran in mock terror for the door. He caught up to her in easy strides.

  When Tala came around the corner again and raised one eyebrow at them, pointed her motherly finger toward the bunkroom door, and raised her finger to her lips, Graham sat Macy on her feet, and they both stifled their mirth and sobered up.

  What an amazing father Graham has become to these children. What a wonderful one he’d be to mine—if either of us dares let it be born.

  Macy brushed past Tala and barged into the bathroom, pushing Bang out of the way so she could wash up too, while Tala went into the kitchen and stirred the dinner while she tried to remain calm.

  Tonight they were having a scavenged can of potato and corned beef hash that Tala combined to make into a creamy potato chowder by adding reconstituted milk. With just enough to feed the five of them, this would be a welcome change. Looking into the pot of creamy soup made Tala wanted to flee, but she pushed through the nausea and tried to act normal until she could come up with a plan or at least until she had some time to think about what she would tell Graham. He would want to save her and discard the child out of fear of losing them both. They’d discussed the dilemma in a “what-if” manner a time or two, but hadn’t yet been forced to deal with the reality.

  While the kids set the table for dinner, Tala whispered to Graham, “We need to talk tonight, after the kids are in bed.”

  Graham said nothing, but the expression on his face signaled his apprehension. She patted his cheek and smiled, hoping he’d smile back; those sharp-eyed kids would notice he was worried.

  While Tala dished up the food, Graham went into the bunkroom to rouse Ennis for dinner. He returned to report that the old man didn’t want to wake up.

  “Let’s leave him alone then; I only put him down to rest a few minutes ago,” Tala said. “Maybe the antibiotics will do their thing better if he’s resting.”

  Graham nodded agreement. “I can always take him a cup of soup later.”

  With only four gathered around the table for the first time, Tala realized how attached they’d become to one another. The cabin was too quiet with the others gone. The family atmosphere she knew Graham had come to accept after his initial resistance had become official. Perhaps that was the best thing for them after all.

  In an effort to break the quiet, she asked Graham, “Wolves skinned?”

  “Yes, and bodies already disposed of.”

  “Good. If I can get away tomorrow, I’ll help with the scraping,” she offered.

  With her attention to detail, she’d proven herself an expert at getting even the tiniest of particles lifted off the skins, but the idea of the project wasn’t appealing to her in her current condition.

  “Can we talk about something else at the table, please?” Macy requested.

  “Sure, how was school today?” Graham asked.

  “Oh, that’s funny. You’re such a comedian,” Macy said back while Bang sat there laughing as little boys do, filling the cabin with a merry amusement that almost made Tala forget the anguish to come.

  Even though she dreaded Graham’s reaction to the news about her surprise, she enjoyed every minute of their happy circumstances at the moment. If Ennis were not ill, the current condition of their lives would finally make sense. Even with the death of man, they had to find joy and peace in their existence, or there was no point in going on at all.

  After they had cleaned up, Graham heard Ennis stirring, so he took him a mug of the thick soup and a glass of cranberry juice.

  “Hey, think you can eat a little?” he asked as he opened the door. He turned on the bedside lamp and slid a chair close beside Ennis.

  “Yeah, I think I might. Where’s them kids?”

  Graham helped him sit up and had propped another pillow behind him.

  “They’re taking care of the chickens, and Tala’s in the greenhouse.”

  “Good. Listen, before you start feeding me against my will, we need to talk about somethin’ I’ve been thinkin’ on.”

  “Take a drink first, Ennis,” Graham said, handing him the cranberry juice.

  “I hate this stuff.”

  “Drink it anyway.”

  Ennis glared at him while he took a sip with mock hatred.

  “You give any thought to going back this spring?”

  “Going back to Seattle?”

  “Yeah. Take a truck. Pick up more supplies to bring back here. You need more ammunition for defense and hunting, and we need to know what’s going on out there. A scouting trip would tell us a lot.”

  Graham handed him the soup and leaned back in his chair, thinking. “I’ve thought about going back. Problem is, someone could follow me back here, and I’d expose our camp—and the prepper’s camp. I don’t want to put us in any jeopardy. And what if something happens to me?”

  “You gotta do something, Graham. You think these kids are going to stay put? We need to find out how things have gotten out there. These little homes here have already been scavenged by our two camps. Sure, we have enough food for now, but the ammo is running short already.”

  Graham nodded. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already stay up at night worried about, Ennis.”

  “I know you want to stay here and garden, and hunt, but I’m tellin’ you, Graham, turning into a hippie is not enough.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Don’t ignore the outside. These kids are going out there at some point. If you’re not preparing them for the dangers they’ll need to survive out there, you might as well bury ’em now. The preppers are good folks right now, but they’re using us for their own protection. Nothin’ wrong with that, but what happens when they run low of supplies too?”

  “They’re not like that. Dalton risked a lot, and paid a lot, to help us the last time. Too much in fact.”

  “Graham, when you need to feed your own child, you’d kill your own brother for his food. Don’t make the mistake of trustin’ them too much. I’m saying, you need to think long-term now, and you need to see what’s out there. What dangers exist by other men.”

  Graham took a big breath and let air out slowly. Though he didn’t believe the preppers would ever turn on them, he couldn’t ignore the warnings. “I’ll think about it, Ennis.”

  After Ennis had finished off his meal, Graham bullied him into going back to the bathroom. The effort was painful for the old man, but he needed him to recover. Afterward, Graham heard the snoring sounds he’d come to get used to, indicating Ennis was fast asleep.

 
With the others down for the night, Graham tended the woodstove as he tried to build an emotional barrier for whatever Tala might convey. She curled her legs under herself while she waited for him on the couch. He approached her slowly with only the firelight gleaming, his feelings of dread increasing with each moment he delayed.

  Tala knew Graham was procrastinating as she watched him putter around. Determinedly, she willed away the coming tears and waited for him to be ready for her news, then broached the first of the two subjects she wished she could avoid.

  Carefully she began with Clarisse’s recommendations regarding the girls, to get it out of the way. She told him why she and Clarisse both agreed it was a good idea for them to be put on the pill. Of course, as Tala suspected, Graham didn’t take it too well.

  “No way!” he said after Tala explained the situation twice. “They’re only fifteen!”

  “Graham, what if something happens to them? What if Marcy and Mark take their affections too far? Or, God forbid, someone attacks one of them. It’s a simple solution.” She realized the irony of her own statement.

  That was enough to get him to think seriously about the recommendation, considering what had almost happened to Tala the previous fall.

  He leaned forward and rubbed his beard. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Maybe you and Clarisse are right at that. I remember how difficult the loss was for you to recover from when you miscarried.”

  She met his gaze, remembering. That was how he found her here. She could have died from complications and they’d never been sure if the miscarriage was due to the stress of the pandemic or if the fetus contracted the virus within and died from it.

  “That would be horrible for them. We’d have to give them the medical abortion pills. There’s some at the doctor’s house. I saw them there but left them. I didn’t think we’d need them.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, I can see how putting them on the pill makes sense for Marcy but I do not think Macy would be willing to take them, nor do I think she should be forced into taking them. I’m not holding her down for that and good luck to anyone who tries.” Tala didn’t think he was joking.

  “The decision should be hers,” Graham continued. “So yeah, I think you’re right. Let’s do it, but I’m going to pick up the other pills and bring them here tomorrow when I go into town to find the painkillers for Ennis. Just so we have them. Just in case,” he said with a sigh. “So, is that the problem that’s been weighing you down, babe? Worrying about how I’d react to the idea?” He leaned back and pulled her to him, cradling her against his chest.

  Tala’s pulse quickened and panic set in as she realized he saw termination as the only possible solution to pregnancy. She tried to relax, knowing she couldn’t tell him her secret now, knowing what his immediate response would be. She willed herself to calm down further and melted against his hard chest so Graham wouldn’t suspect there was more.

  “Okay, let’s talk to them both about the option when Marcy gets back,” Tala said.

  “Oh no. This was your idea, and it’s your department,” Graham said, making the sign of the cross. “They’re girls, you’re a girl; and therefore talking to them about this stuff is your job.”

  “You are the bravest man I know, and yet you can’t face girl issues?” Tala mocked him, trying on a smile. She shook her head, hoping she was masking her true feelings.

  “Hey, I would if I had to, but you’re here and so it falls to you. When Bang starts to have boy issues when he’s older, I will handle it. You won’t have to explain the urges, et cetera. I think that’s fair,” Graham reasoned.

  Tala played along, and let out a breath, agreeing with the arrangement. Neither of them had ever been a parent before the pandemic, and they were winging this thing, at best. Though Tala knew those days were numbered—at least for her.

  11 A Sleep Over

  Clarisse had been through this so many times before; disappointment after devastating disappointment had become the norm. This time, however, a shred of hope proved the answers to her research. The girls played in the hallway and their laughter echoed into her office. Their voices distracted her work, but in a good way until the disorderly fracas came from the main door as Rick and Steven entered the building.

  Out of defeat, she gave up any further efforts in her observation through a microscope and directed her attention to the men who’d arrived.

  “What’s up, guys?” she managed to say without any annoyance in her greeting.

  “There’s a storm coming. Rick and I got the generator set up for you in case the power goes out. I’ll set up a rope line to camp, in case the snow gets as bad as we think.”

  “Oh, thanks. I had no idea the weather was getting worse,” she said, glancing down at Addy on the floor in the doorway. “I guess I should probably quit now, then, and get us back to camp.” She hoped her reluctance to leave her work didn’t show. She never stopped marveling at how quickly she’d come to think of Addy as her own child, and the girl’s safety demanded Clarisse put her first—even ahead of research.

  On his knees, Rick, always up for anything juvenile, joined in the girls’ game of jacks. As if he understood, he said, “Why don’t I take Addy back with Bethany? She can spend the night with us too. That way you can work as long as you like.”

  Clarisse eyed Addy. “Would you like to spend the night with Bethany? The decision is totally up to you. Or I can pack up right now and we can go if you’d like.”

  Rick’s daughter Bethany, was about the same age and the only other child Addy had formed a friendly bond with. She was much more outgoing, but she enjoyed Addy’s company in small visits.

  “Oh, please stay the night,” Bethany begged.

  Addy paused a moment and, casting a look to Clarisse that said she wasn’t too sure about the arrangement, said, “Okay.”

  Rick apparently caught on to the look and tried to persuade her. “We’ll make the night fun, Addy; I’ll set up a movie, and we can make popcorn, like in the old days.”

  Clarisse added, “If you’re okay with staying the night, I’ll check in on you first thing in the morning.”

  “You’ll be fine out here, by yourself?” Addy asked Clarisse. At times she seemed much too mature for a seven-year-old, but under the circumstances, it was probably understandable for a child who had essentially lost both parents to worry about the one sure substitute she had.

  “Of course. You don’t need to worry about me, Addy.”

  With a smile Addy ran over to embrace Clarisse. The child smelled of crayons and soap as she held her close, and Clarisse wondered why she had never thought to become a mother before. She wouldn’t trade the experience for anything now and knew she’d do anything for Addy to keep her safe from harm. What a liability a child is to a mother. She certainly loved the girl, and knew Addy loved her in return. The emotion tugged at her heart even more.

  Overjoyed at the prospect of a playmate staying with her the whole night, Bethany cheered.

  To the kids, something as simple as a sleepover must have been like stepping back into the past, a reminder of something they’d done in the days before the end of school, before the escape from their neighborhoods, before they left family and friends behind, and before quarantine.

  “Okay, girls, let’s get your coats on,” Rick said as he corralled them toward the door.

  When they were out of earshot, Steven said, “The Quarantine Queen has become a mommy? When did that happen?”

  Clarisse smiled at him and swiveled around in her office chair ignoring him. She knew he was ribbing her, but in a kind way. “Who could help but love that little girl?” was the only thing she would allow herself to say for fear she would start to cry.

  Steven patted her on the back and said, “Don’t stay too late. I’ll set up the line, just in case, on my way out. The snow’s already coming down steadily, and the sky is starting to look ugly out there.”

  She heard the wind creaking the metal siding as it came in hard gusts. It was starting to h
owl, and she knew what Steven said was true.

  “Thank you. I’ll be fine here.”

  With the whole evening ahead of her, Clarisse felt recharged in her efforts to make sure the data was true. She returned to her work, knowing she had a promise to keep, and she would work on it for as long as it took.

  12 Mark Takes a Walk

  Sam knew a young man needed to prove himself in life. After waiting through the snowstorm a while longer, as the temperature continued to drop, he decided now would be the best time for Mark to make a break for the house. The temperature could drop again in the next hour, but how much they had no way of knowing. He would lead a guide rope over to the house about eighty yards in front of their position.

  “All right, kid, let’s get this done; the storm is getting worse, not better. I don’t think waiting it out will do us any good.” Sam shivered a bit. Mark climbed back into the rear of the truck to retrieve the two-hundred-foot length of nylon line.

  “You’re going to let him go out there alone?” Marcy protested when she caught on to the plan. The idea scared her. It scared Sam, too, but not as much as trying to keep the kids alive in the truck all night and for however much longer the storm might last, but he didn’t answer her plea.

  Instead, he cautioned Mark, “Tie one end to the bumper. Take the spotlight. Keep your eyes open and go in as straight a line as you can. If you get to the end and find you’re in open space, get your ass back here. Don’t screw around with this, and whatever you do, don’t leave the rope. Tie the line off to the first thing you can find when you reach the end, and follow it back here. If you leave the line, you’re toast. I won’t be able to find you in time before the cold has its way with you. Do you hear me?” Sam he stared deeply into Mark’s eyes to let the young man realize he was dead serious and to make sure Mark understood the gravity of the situation.