Infinitely More
Page 16
Those first six months were difficult. It was not only the language barrier and behavior issues that came from the child’s “baggage,” but the adjustments of this childless couple, now suddenly parents, and not of a newborn, but an eight-year-old with his own struggles to adjust to a whole new life. Again, this is not uncommon, but that doesn’t lessen the hardship. It is my privilege to walk alongside folks like these as they seek to obey God’s will for their lives and help “one of the least of these.” The transformation of their son and that family, has been nothing short of miraculous. In between my Harbor fundraising engagements I make it a priority to counsel with many adoptive parents and their former Russian orphans as they struggle through the transition.
Though I enjoy helping adoptive families, my full-time work is The Harbor and I spend the majority of my time traveling throughout the United States sharing our story. I still call Columbus home, but I am usually only there for a few days at a time between my trips. Armed with my green card, I travel to Russia at least once a year, usually in the summer, to work at The Harbor.
I have been to a lot of churches in the United States and in Russia. I love the big mega-churches, just because it is impressive to see so many believers together at one time. The preaching is generally great. Maybe if I was more stationary and not traveling so much, I could learn to call one of these big churches home by becoming involved in a small group and finding some community. But that would be really hard for me with all my travels. I love the warmth and love and community I have found in Meadowbrook and in Village Vineyard, two small churches in the Columbus area that I attend. And, like the little church in Kaluga, I am amazed (and really touched) by the generosity and outreach of these little churches. They tend to be much more outward thinking (of others and their needs) than focused on their own needs.
When The Harbor started, our staff consisted of Luba, the director, Katya, the psychologist, Ira, the mentor, and Pavel, the pastor. There were no Russian churches involved, but the Lord did enable us to establish a partnership of sorts with one of the largest Christian universities in the country, St. Petersburg Christian University. From there we have gotten staff from their graduate students, with degrees in theology, counseling, pedagogy, and teaching. Early on, there were a few churches in the States supporting our work, but it was primarily individuals who significantly stepped in to partner with the ministry.
The first group of residents were the four girls, two of whom were brought from a street shelter by a police officer after taking them off the streets (they had been sold into prostitution by their parents when they were just eight and nine years old). Of the other two girls, one came from my former orphanage, Number 51, and the other came from the Voice of the Children shelter that The Harbor was partnered with back then.
Those first four girls were a real challenge for our young ministry, which had plenty of vision but very little experience. At times it was just plain hard to deal with the girls and their “baggage.” The Lord tested the faith of all of us workers, but He also reminded us that we shouldn’t give up on the girls because He never gives up on any of us. Thus, we committed ourselves to disciple them just as Christ would.
A year into the ministry, one of the initial residents left The Harbor to go back to prostitution because it was all she knew and, to her, it was the easy way out. We knew the Lord wanted more for her, and we tried to lovingly communicate to her the dangerous consequences of her decision. Because the word “consequence” is practically non-existent in an orphan’s vocabulary, our admonitions did not make any difference. We prayed for her and communicated that the doors of The Harbor family were always open to her, but she left and never chose to come back. The other three girls completed the two-year residential program with The Harbor. One of them stayed on for two more years.
In the third year of our ministry The Harbor was approved by the Russian Committee of Education and Science and the Committee of Justice as a “St. Petersburg Charitable Public Organization that transitions orphans after orphanage emancipation.” With that official approval, The Harbor now had a green light to go directly into the orphanages and select residents into the program.
After four years of ministry, we opened another apartment and had boys in our program as well. We were now ministering to young adult men and women, ages sixteen through twenty-three, graduating them every two years and replacing each with another young adult. The Lord began to change and transform the lives of The Harbor graduates. More and more of the residents were receiving their education, accepting Jesus as their personal Savior, and changing inside and out.
After five years, The Harbor purchased its first facility, the girls’ apartment, and rented more apartments. The original goal was to purchase four apartments to accommodate forty residents at any one time in the ministry. But five years into our work and we were not there yet. It was not easy, and we frequently prayed and asked God why He had not allowed us to grow as we had envisioned. Little did we know we were simply not ready and the time was not yet right. The Harbor had to establish the foundation before the growth could happen.
Melinda Cathey and I were encouraged by the opportunity to speak at a club of businesswomen in St. Pete. I will never forget the experience. We went to that building and noticed more Mercedes-Benzes, BMWs, and Audis than either of us had ever seen. The women were nicely dressed and quite occupied with drinking expensive champagne and eating black caviar. After this extravagant time they asked us to share about The Harbor.
As we were talking, we noticed that many of the women were basically uninterested. Some were even falling asleep! I was ready to apologize for bothering them. As soon as we were done they simply went on with their program, having a good time and spending astounding amounts of money, but on earthly things. It was a good indication to us that the chances of raising funds in Russia, even among the wealthy, were practically nonexistent, at least for now.
We also began approaching American corporations for gifts, but after much effort we realized that, too, was a dead-end.
Meanwhile, by year five the Lord was bringing more and more individuals to partner with our ministry. Over the years God had brought so many people into my life—from the very poor to the very wealthy. I saw an amazing contrast in that. I had spoken to churches as small as six people and as large as seven thousand. What I learned is that God’s economy and math do not match the world’s. You would think that the larger the church, the more we would receive from them. Such has not been the case. He has continually richly blessed our ministry from those gatherings of a few people, yet almost nothing from the groups with big numbers of members. I continue to be grateful for all of our supporters, both those who are able to give large sums of money and those who can only donate small amounts. God understands the heart and He delights to use the “widow’s mite” as well as the larger gifts we receive.
Today, The Harbor has the support of hundreds of individuals who are our faithful and committed ministry partners. We also receive funding from over a dozen churches, representing seven different denominations, and some charitable trusts and foundations.
On average, we have twenty orphans in the residential program at any given time, and minister to more than one hundred twenty orphans in the vocational training center. There are five different local St. Petersburg churches that are now praying for the ministry and one church has recently adopted The Harbor as their main mission to support. The Russian government is actively participating with us, especially in our vocational training center, because they see the potential and power of transformation.
Furthermore, our staff have trained different ministries from six cities in Russia to replicate the model of The Harbor in their communities. We are now even advising other ministries in other countries how to replicate what we have done, especially in the Commonwealth of Independent States (the former Soviet Republics). God is good!
Chapter 28
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declar
es the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
—Jeremiah 29:11
It would seem that I have made up for the lost years of my life that lacked loving relationships, guidance, and affection. While I was never officially adopted, both Sue and Punkin have filled motherly roles in my life, and the Davises and Catheys have become family. In Russia, Misha and Marina have been my aunt and uncle, and Melana will always hold a very precious part of my heart.
I have received wise counsel and life instruction from godly men in my life: Mark Cathey, John Hughes, Rich Gregg, Mel Duke, and Bill Davis, among others.
A few years ago I got a distressing phone call from Mary Lou Duke. Rounding out my family, she and Mel had been like grandparents to me. She was calling to tell me Mel had an aneurism that burst. He was on life support and not expected to live.
Upset, I did not know what to do. I was scheduled to leave early the next morning for ministry engagements in Texas. The flights were booked and paid for, and there were people expecting me. I was torn. I knew there was nothing I could do for Mel, but I felt compelled to go to Colorado to say goodbye to this sweet and good man who had been like a grandfather to me, even if he was not aware that I was there.
I instinctively called Punkin, one of my “moms,” to ask her advice. She concurred with what the Davises had been telling me: “Alex, you need to be there.”
I paid the fee to change my flight to Colorado and called Mary Lou to tell her I was on my way. At 2:00 am a phone call from Mary Lou jarred me from my restless sleep. Mel had died. I wept for about forty-five minutes, literally crying myself to sleep.
The next morning I called Punkin to tell her, and her response was, “Why didn’t you call me?”
“At two in the morning?” I asked, perplexed.
“Alex, I meant it when I said that I am here for you anytime you need me.”
After that incident I was better able to gauge my relationships. Aside from the mile long/mile deep description, I came to understand that those few people who meant the most to me were people that I would drop anything for if they needed me. If anyone in my Davis family, or if Sue or Punkin or Melana or Melinda needed me for anything, I would drop what I am doing and be there.
I had never experienced the death of one so dear to me as Mel. It was both extremely painful and incredibly encouraging to feel that loss and pain. I flew to Colorado and was warmly welcomed by Mary Lou and her family to share in their grief, just as if I was one of their own.
I have lived in many homes for short and extended stays. For someone with no “real” family of my own, the Lord has blessed me with many, many folks who have shared their love with me. Maybe this orphan does have a family after all.
When I think back on this journey, I am touched at how God used so many different people to impact my life. The one thing they have in common—from the first missionaries I met after the fall of the Soviet Union, on through to the people who partner with The Harbor today—is a desire to be obedient to God’s call on their lives and to share His love in a practical way. How different my life would have been if it had not been for some crazy Americans who went out of their way to come to Russia for short-term missions projects and made their way to Orphanage Number 51. Or if Melana had not taken us under her protective wing. Or if Melinda and Mark had not opened their door to an unknown, t-shirted young man shivering in the cold St. Petersburg night. Praise God they did, and that now, I have the opportunity to do the same thing for others.
“Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.”
—Psalm 27:10—
A Note on the Writing of this Book
While my family may have had some experiences in sharing our home over the years, we were not prepared for the impact that Alex Krutov would have on our lives. We were not prepared for the bond we formed that will last a lifetime; the “adoption,” as it were, of this young man at the age of twenty-five into our family. We could not adopt him if we wanted to—he’s thirty-three now—yet in all respects he is family. More than eight years later, and he is still living with us.
Of course, we learned his story early on in our relationship, his background, and what brought him to America, but the more we’ve gotten to know him, the more remarkable that story becomes. I’ve vowed for years to write his story for him. I have no doubt that it can be a blessing to others. I also have no doubt that this compelling urge to share it is a prompting from the Lord.
The purpose of this book is for you to meet Alex. This is his story, and more profoundly for all of us, it is really God’s story. We all, including Alex, are just the vessels. More important than Alex’s survival in the Russian orphanage system, and even more important than his ministry today, his life story is a story of hope; the story of God’s protection and calling on his life. While Alex’s heart and ministry is clearly for orphans, his life story speaks to the power of God for anyone living without hope.
He and I have worked on this book for three years now. When the thought came to me originally in early 2008 to get his story on paper, we worked together feverishly for a time. It is a long, slow process. We sit for hours and talk; me prodding him with questions and him telling story upon story while I frantically try to listen and write at the same time. I filled several legal pads with notes before hitting the computer and trying to put some semblance of chronology and meaning to the various memories and stories. Being as busy as I am with full-time work and thirteen grandkids, as I got farther and farther behind in transcribing the stories to print, I became more and more reluctant to hear more stories and take more notes.
About the time I began to get caught up, Alex’s travels picked up. For the first time in five years he was able to go back to Russia. While thrilled for him, the book came to a screeching halt when he was gone for almost three months at a time twice in 2009.
Alex is still young and in many ways his ministry and his life are just beginning. I can’t even imagine what else the Lord has in mind for him. This much I know for certain: God has a calling on this young man’s life. God has given him a new heart and put a new spirit into him. He has removed his heart of stone and given him a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26); He has lifted Alex “out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire” and set his feet upon a rock and given him a firm place to stand (Psalm 40:1–2). I marvel at the work God has done in and through Alex’s life and I count it a privilege to have been a part these eight-plus years.
I felt compelled by the Lord to write this book, but I don’t know how He is going to use it. Maybe it will inspire just one couple to adopt just one little child still trapped behind the walls of a Russian orphanage, longing to be held and loved. If it gives even one child a hope and a future, it has been worth the effort. If it is used to encourage those who have adopted to stick with the difficult transition process, or if it encourages even one troubled teenager to find hope again, it has been worth the effort. If it prompts anyone to support the work of The Harbor (www.theharborspb.org), which will in turn affect the lives of those graduate orphans, praise God! If Alex’s life story beckons anyone to the cross and the saving grace of Jesus, Alex and I are both in awe that the Lord would see fit to use us in that process. Find a Bible-believing church near you and grow in that love and grace. And be prepared to “pay it forward” one day when the Lord calls upon you to be used in the life of another. Probably when you least expect it, maybe when you feel least prepared for it, that opportunity will come upon you and catch you totally off guard. Welcome that opportunity!
Isaiah 49 says, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” I can’t imagine a mother forgetting her baby; having no compassion on her child. Yet, neither can I know Alex’s mother’s heart or judge her actions. I know only that I am thankful for this young man’s life and bl
essed that the Lord saw fit to bring him into our lives.
The Harbor is now in its tenth year. The Lord has allowed this little ministry to raise over two million dollars, primarily through the efforts and faith of one Russian orphan, who survived his eighteen years in the Russian orphanage system, and was called by God, and responded to that call, to make a difference in the lives of other orphans. To God be the glory!
—Jackie Davis
February 2011
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Table of Contents
Copyright
St. Petersburg, Russia, November 1997
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18