The Broken WarriorNAVY Seal Romances
Page 9
The kid was confused. “Okay.”
Zane tugged him down the beach. “I want answers.” He remembered how Tyler thought Zane was some kind of superhero, and wondered if he should say something Captain America would say. He decided it couldn’t hurt. “And stay in school, kid!”
Chapter 14
Sarah woke with a start, jerking to a sitting position. For a moment, it all felt like a nightmare. Her mind flashed to Zane and to the dream that she’d had over and over that never ended the way real life had happened.
Turning, she looked at the neon clock. Six-thirty. She threw off the covers and picked up her phone, turning off her seven-o’clock alarm. She had to leave the house by eight to get Tyler to school, but she was grateful to have a few extra moments.
Gently, she walked down the hall, hearing nothing. If Tyler was awake, he would be watching television and eating cereal. That was their deal for the mornings since he woke up so early. He was usually up at five a.m.
She pushed a hand over her hair to smooth it and thought about how she only had pajamas on. Steeling herself, she walked through the living room, then the kitchen. No Zane. Phew. She needed just a minute. Drawn in by the siren song of her espresso machine—the one thing she had indulged in—she started a cup and sat back to stare out over the ocean.
Instead of the ocean, she saw Zane. He was standing shirtless next to the beach just like she’d found him when she’d gone to his boat. He was going through some series of moves, and as she watched him, she could barely breathe. Every muscle was sleek, cut, totally Thor-like.
She stumbled back and held the counter, putting a hand over her heart. Gone was the boy from high school. Not only was his physique transformed; he was also peaceful and majestic like she’d never seen him. She almost cried seeing how beautiful he was all grown-up.
All thoughts of the past few days rushed over her. It’d been crazy to say the least, and now, he was here. Living in her house, and for how long?
It was a bad idea to not have a set timeline. Her mind raced. It still troubled her to think about someone wanting to get in a few nights ago. She worried she should have just gone back to the police.
At the edge of her awareness, she heard the espresso finish. Maybe the police would have been a better idea, she thought absently. She picked up her coffee, sipped it, and jerked back when the hot liquid burned her lips. Where was her head at this morning? She put her drink on the counter and waited, taking the chance to bend down and just sniff it. She loved the smell of coffee. It relaxed her.
She continued to watch him. He stood in a warrior pose, and his body was perfectly silhouetted in the morning sun. She thought about how it had felt to kiss him. It had been so perfect. Like the birds, she thought, they had been in sync. Which terrified her.
No, she couldn’t let him get in her head. She couldn’t get hurt. She had Tyler to think about. She sucked in a breath. How had Zane Kent shown up in her life again?
A thought hit her. She didn’t know anything about him, not really. She knew he’d served in the SEALs. She knew Harris had pissed him off last night. She’d seen his mother at Jeff’s funeral. She had told Sarah that he’d come to San Diego, but she still didn’t know why. Was it to start this business?
She picked up the espresso and gently sipped it, finding it was the right temperature. The mug nestled into her hands, cozy and reassuring.
As Zane took on a different pose, a bandage on his leg moved into view. He paused and gently put a hand over the bandage before closing his eyes and transitioning into the next pose.
Sarah frowned. True, she didn’t know if he’d had a bandage on his leg yesterday, but she hadn’t noticed it when she’d seen him on the beach two days ago by his sailboat. There was a chance she could have just missed it. She couldn’t help but feel like it was new, though. She was almost positive that it wasn’t there yesterday.
Without thinking about it, she put her espresso down and rushed out toward the living room and through the French doors that led to the beach. She flew down the beach, not caring that she was in pajamas.
He saw her coming and broke his pose, a smile playing at his lips. “Hey, you’re up.”
“What happened to your leg?”
Putting up his hand, he said, “Whoa. Whoa, calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” she shouted.
Chapter 15
For a moment, Zane didn’t answer, just stared into her eyes. His mind had finally cleared, and he could take a moment to respond rather than simply react to her. It was a good thing, too, because she only wore her nightclothes. They weren’t scanty, but they weren’t the usual business suit and stilettos either.
He wouldn’t lie. Did it make him happy to see her so concerned about him and his well-being? Yeah, it did. He liked being in her life, even if it was messy.
“Zane?” she demanded, pointing at the bandage.
He shrugged, not wanting to freak her out, but not wanting to hide the truth from her either. “It’s a flesh wound from some kid trying to break into your house last night.”
Her face went pale. “What?”
Widening his stance, he balanced on both feet. He’d been so off-balance by her yesterday that he couldn’t get a grip. More accurately, he hadn’t been able to get a grip since he’d first run into her at the coffee shop. Now, it was different. He was different. Getting up early today and meditating had centered him. “I’m not worried about it. I mean, not the kid last night. He just gave me a small wound. He had another bug he was supposed to plant.”
Sarah shook her head. “He stabbed you? Did you go to the hospital?”
Zane thought of Sutton’s guy coming and administering some antibiotic cream and some glue. “I’m fine.”
Pushing two fingers to her temple, she massaged her head. “This can’t be happening. Should we call the police?”
“No.” Zane didn’t trust the police right now. He feared Harris had some of them in his pocket. “The thing I’m worried about is the thug who hired the kid. I went back to the party where the kid was hired and checked it out, but couldn’t find anything.” He lifted his eyebrows at her. “So today, we’re changing locations to up security.”
With a gasp, she put her hand to her chest. “What?”
“I can’t protect you here. We need to move. We’re going to my boat.”
“No.” She tried to inhale, but it was a short and wheezy breath.
She looked like she was having some kind of attack, so he put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay, Sarah?” Worry surged through him. What was going on? Heart attack?
Sarah sucked in more breaths and closed her eyes. “I’m fine. I just … I just have to think. I …” She wasn’t breathing well.
“Is this asthma? Do you have an inhaler?”
She shook her head, then bent over and put her hands on her knees.
He stood next to her, rubbing tiny circles into her back. “Sarah?”
She stood up to full height. “It’s anxiety,” she said, still taking long breaths. “It’s … I’m fine.”
Her face was burning red, and he thought of all the running they used to do together. She’d never looked this worn out.
Concern washed through him, and he gently took her by the shoulder. “It’s okay.” He found her gaze and met it. “It’s going to be okay.” He was already kicking himself for upsetting her now that he knew she had anxiety.
She held up a hand and put it on her chest. “It’s okay. I’m sorry—” She broke off. “It’s nothing.”
“That’s not nothing,” he said, softly but severely. He wanted to demand answers. “When did you start having these attacks? Are you … can you get treatment?” He thought of different guys who had had complete mental breakdowns. It wasn’t pretty. Usually, after something tragic and horrible, focusing his thoughts helped. For him anyway.
She took in another breath.
Fishing for a way to help, he took her by the shoulders and looke
d into her eyes. “I want you to think of something. Umm, swimming or running. Remember running in the graveyard and how we would race?”
He got a chuckle out of her, and she said, “You and Jeff would pretend you were zombies.”
“Yeah.” That had been a long-forgotten memory. He thought of more funny things. “Or remember that summer before senior year we put on the sprinkler and ran through it in front of Jeff’s yard and then lay on the cement and ate popsicles?” Sunshine seared right to his heart.
She smiled, looking like she meant it. “You said we were too old, and I said—”
“We were still kids. It didn’t matter,” he said a bit breathlessly, thinking of that day and of how carefree he’d felt.
There it was. The “time standing still” thing between them. Neither of them spoke, but she wasn’t breathing hard anymore. The old ache was back in full force, reminding him of all that he’d wanted and missed with her. After the split, he had to learn to put her far behind him and never feel anything for her again. Being back here, especially with the walls between them, he couldn’t just walk through a door and go back to how things had been. They’d both changed too much.
But she was here, and his hands were on her shoulders. She was so painstakingly gorgeous. Before he could stop himself, he said, “I like you like this.”
Not breaking eye contact, she laughed, “You mean all scrubbed out and having an anxiety attack?”
“No. I like you natural.” Unable to stop himself, he closed the distance between them to sweep a loose hair out of her face and push it behind her ear. “You’re so gorgeous. You’re … everything.” Gently, he put the back of his hand on her face and trailed his fingers along her jawline. “You were always beautiful, and now you’re unimaginably more beautiful. There’s this depth to you with Tyler.” He let out a light laugh, knowing it was stupid to tell her this right now. “You should have seen your face when you saw us fighting with lightsabers.”
She blinked and looked even more vulnerable. “It’s like you’ve always known each other.”
This statement sobered him. “I should have known him his whole life. I should have—” He broke off, wishing so many things. “I should have sucked it up. I should have been a man and supported my best friends.” He clenched his hand into a fist. “You didn’t deserve my silence. You or Jeff. I should have come to his funeral. You’re right, I …I didn’t want to see you. I felt …” He looked away, ashamed.
“You felt what?”
How did he explain it to her? “I’ve been horrible because I never—” His eyes shifted back to hers, and he saw the sheen in her eyes that matched his. “I shouldn’t still feel these things for you. That’s what I worried about. That I would show up and I wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that I still love you.”
Light as a whisper, her hand rested on his forearm. “You do?”
He stared into her perfect green eyes, and for right or wrong, for good or bad, he saw the truth. She loved him too. Did she know she loved him? “I never stopped.”
They were really having this moment. He’d blocked the possibility in his waking moments, but it still surfaced in recurring dreams of her, about them. Together, like it’d been in high school. All those memories he’d tried to shove away. He’d even tried to tell himself it hadn’t been real. Not as real as it’d felt. Yet here it was, exactly like it’d felt before, only different. Grown-up. Unlike before, unlike all those times when these thoughts could send him into a spiral for days, there was hope.
Sarah blinked. “Jeff is the elephant in the room. Jeff will always be something—” She broke off and turned back to the house. “I never stopped missing you.” Her words were soft, and he thought of how she’d told him that first day that she’d hurt him.
Gently, he put a hand on her shoulder. A million thoughts went through his mind, but he shook his head. He had to focus on the most pressing problem first. “We have to leave.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe a guy knifed you.” She swallowed and looked so vulnerable. “Where would we go?”
Taking her gently by the arm, he led her back to the house. “To my boat. For a few days.”
She seemed to be digesting this information. “I have clients today.”
They reached the patio, where they stopped and he turned to face her. “Cancel your plans. Call the school and tell them Tyler’s sick.”
“Really?”
“Sarah, do you understand that someone got to the door? I’m having the place watched, but I was distracted.” He felt the familiar frustration of the past few days, but pushed it away. He had to make her understand. “I can’t protect you here. We have to go.”
Hesitating, she stared hard at him. “I never wanted to put you in danger.” Her gaze swept over his chest, and he realized she was looking at different scars and his tattoos. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
The moment held, and he didn’t know what to say. He settled on telling her, “I have never stopped worrying about you.”
She gently touched the scar on the top of his lip. “Where did you get this scar? It’s new.”
Her touch made him want to pull her in and kiss her again, but he held back. “Stories for another day. We have to go. I want to get out to sea today.”
“Okay, okay,” she said, pulling her hand back.
It annoyed him that he didn’t know what she was thinking. He cleared his throat and focused on the mission. “Get your stuff together, and we’ll leave as soon as we can.”
A small smile played at her lips. “Will your brothers be there?”
“I talked to Sloane this morning. He’s going back on the road with Texas Waters. He’s going to play backup for a bit while he finishes writing his songs.” He rolled his eyes and grinned. “Walker is headed back to Texas for practice, so it’s all clear.”
She processed this slowly, and he could tell she was coming around. “Your brothers have all done well for themselves.”
He grunted. “Yeah.”
She pointed at him, her grin widening. “You always were jealous of them.”
“I was only jealous of the way you looked at them.” A laugh stuck in his throat as his brain caught up with his mouth. Man, had he just really admitted that?
The smile froze on her face, and they stared at each other. Feelings pulsed through them at a rate they couldn’t control.
She looked away before softly saying, “I only saw you.”
Chapter 16
When they got to his boat, Sloane and Walker were already cleared out and gone. Sloane had left a note and an envelope with a couple of hundreds in it. Zane smiled and shoved the money into his pocket. His brothers were such a contradiction. Just when Zane was ready to kill them, they fixed things.
“What’s this?” Tyler asked, pointing to the ropes that kept the boat attached to the dock.
Zane launched into a thorough explanation of not just those ropes, but all it took to sail the boat. He asked Tyler to be his co-captain and told him he would let him steer if he was good and didn’t do anything stupid like get too close to the edge of the jump-off.
Tyler stuck by his side through it all, his eyes wide and inquisitive. It warmed Zane’s heart to see how much Tyler was like Jeff, but also how much Tyler was his own person. After the first day when they’d gotten into the lightsaber fight, he’d known he and this kid spoke the same language. He noticed it felt like when he was talking to Tyler, it was all aces. Easy.
Sarah had been paying attention to all the information he’d given about sailing, but now, she asked if she could go put the food away. They’d stopped at the store, and he’d gotten some provisions, mostly things for sandwiches and grilling, some fresh stuff. He just wanted a day to think through things and not have all of them in different places.
She went down the stairs into the boat, and he and Tyler followed.
“Can I use the bathroom?” Tyler asked.
Zane pointed to the small room. “You bet.
” He wasn’t sure if his slob brother had cleaned things up, but to his amazement, everything was orderly and put in place.
After this morning, things felt different. Not bad, not as tense, he didn’t know how to describe it. Maybe different was just the new normal with Sarah.
Sarah paused in unpacking the cooler and turned to him. “It feels like you’re not telling me something.”
His heart thumped. She’d been able to tell his feelings when they were in high school too. The only difference was that back then, he never wanted to hide anything from her. It surprised him how easily she could still read him. “What do you mean?”
“Is this a random thing, that we ran into each other?” She let out a sigh. “I’ve been … I don’t know. I’m not going to lie to you. Meeting up with you caught me off guard. I know there are things between us that need to be figured out.”
It pleased him more than he wanted to admit that she would say this. “Okay.”
“Do you do this for all your clients?” She pointed to his leg. “Get knifed? Why didn’t you call that in to the police? Why are we on your boat? Do you think my life is threatened? That Tyler’s life is threatened?” Her voice was shaky.
Remembering the panic attack that morning, Zane didn’t think it was a good idea to let her know everything. He had to be calm right now. He had to think.
Tyler came out of the bathroom. “That’s cool,” he said with childlike wonder. “What’s next?”
Zane grinned at him, grateful for the distraction. “Ahoy, matey, time to get out to sea.”
Tyler clapped his hands together. “Wahoo!”
Chapter 17
Watching Tyler hang out with Zane had never seemed like a possibility to Sarah. Even when she did think or dream about Zane, Tyler wasn’t part of it. Probably because Tyler belonged to her life with Jeff.
As she sat on the deck of the sailboat, underneath an umbrella that attached to the boat that Zane had rigged, it took her breath away to see the two of them together. Zane had sailed out a little way off the shore. He’d stopped about half an hour ago and put down the anchor right next to a cove on the beach. He told them this would be a good place to eat lunch and swim. She’d made them lunch, but neither of them had eaten yet, choosing to get on their suits and snorkel instead.