Her Colorado Wishes [Spirit, Colorado 3] Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting

by Peyton Elizabeth

  “Yes, it does. What if you’re wrong? Has the doctor confirmed this?”

  “Of course he has, Wyatt. I’m a nurse, for God’s sake,” Hannah snapped, pulling on the sheet. Since both men were sitting on it, Austin knew she wouldn’t be able to pull it from beneath them. “I had an infection called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. I didn’t realize how bad it was at the time. I was still in nursing school, studying for my boards, when I ended up having to go to the emergency room. By that time, it was too late. The infection had damaged my fallopian tubes. Look, it’s pointless to go into this. The bottom line is, I can’t have children.”

  Austin waited for his brother to assure her it didn’t matter. He was rooting for him on the inside, cheering him on to do the right thing. But Wyatt didn’t say anything. Hannah gave up trying to take the sheet with her. She pulled it down, revealing her naked body. Crawling on top of the covers, Hannah finally managed to get out of the bed and stand beside it. Seeing the tears that were starting to form in her eyes caused his heart to crack.

  “Wyatt, tell her it doesn’t matter.”

  Wyatt opened his mouth, as if he were going to follow Austin’s advice, but nothing came out. Hannah covered her breasts with her arms, as if having them look at her was too much. Did she think they were judging her?

  “Hannah, this doesn’t matter to us.”

  “It does. How could it not, Austin?”

  “I just need a minute to digest this, Hannah,” Wyatt said in a low voice. “This doesn’t change how we feel about you. But this wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.”

  Hannah nodded, a tear escaping her eye and rolling down her cheek. She was standing on Wyatt’s side of the bed, so Austin stood up and walked around the mattress. She sidestepped him when he went to reach for her.

  “Please, don’t. Like Wyatt, I just need a minute,” Hannah whispered.

  Austin reached for her anyway, not caring that she didn’t want him to touch her. This was an emotional conversation they were having, and he needed to have her in his arms. She dodged his hand, scurrying to the bathroom. Austin felt his anger start to rise. The minute she shut the door, he turned on his brother.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? It shouldn’t matter if she can have kids, Wyatt!”

  “Shouldn’t it?” Wyatt asked in a hushed tone. “We’ve had this vision of having a wife and children for as long as I can remember.”

  “And who’s to say we can’t have that? Are you fucking kidding me?” Austin started pacing the room, venting out some of his frustration. “Did you see the look on her face? You’re breaking her heart.”

  “That’s not my intention, and you know it,” Wyatt said. He got up and went over to his dresser. He opened the drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans. Like Austin, he pulled them on. Wyatt also grabbed a shirt, throwing one to Austin. “This isn’t something that we can pretend doesn’t affect us.”

  “Of course it affects us,” Austin said, pulling the white T-shirt over his head. “But there are other ways to have kids.”

  “And it doesn’t bother you that they wouldn’t biologically be yours? I’m not saying that adoption wouldn’t be a solution, but to know I will never have a child of my own is something I need to come to terms with. That doesn’t happen overnight, Austin. Hannah’s had years to reconcile this.”

  “Obviously, she hasn’t. Did you see her face?” Austin asked, motioning toward the bathroom. “She needs our support right now. I love her, Wyatt. So do you, so don’t try to backpedal now. She needs our assurance that we love her for who she is, not what she can give us.”

  Wyatt shoved his arms in one of his button-down shirts, leaving it open in the front. Rubbing the back of his neck, Wyatt stared at the bathroom door. “Yes, I love her. And yes, I want us to have a future. I didn’t mean to come across as if I didn’t. But you can’t stand there and say that it wasn’t a shock.”

  Before Austin could answer, he heard noise coming from downstairs. Had Hannah gone downstairs? Hurrying to the bathroom, Austin threw open the door. It was a Jack-and-Jill bathroom, and sure enough, the other exit was hanging wide open. Son of a bitch!

  “Hannah!”

  Austin yelled out her name and then went running through the room. Looking down over the banister, he didn’t see her. By the time he hit the stairs, Austin was taking two at a time, sometimes three, making his way down as fast as he could. Wyatt was behind him.

  “Hannah, where are you?”

  He didn’t see her in the living room or the dining room. Turning quickly, he hurried into the kitchen. She wasn’t there either. Austin heard Wyatt curse as he ran to the front door. Yanking it open, Wyatt stepped onto the porch in bare feet. He did the same.

  Hannah had taken their keys and stolen their truck. The storm had finally decided to blow in, so Hannah had the windshield wipers on. As she backed out, the golden light from the porch shone on her face, revealing the tears that she hadn’t shed in the bedroom. She shouldn’t be driving in the condition she was in, and certainly not in this weather. Austin balled his hands into fists, preventing himself from running after her.

  “I’ll get the work truck from the barn,” Wyatt said, turning to walk back into the house.

  “Don’t.”

  Wyatt stopped and turned around. His face showed his disbelief. “Are you serious? She’s crying, man. She’s hurting, and I’m the cause. If she wrecks, that’ll be my fault, too.”

  “You definitely fucked this up, but we need to let her go,” Austin said. He watched her taillights disappear down the lane. The snow seemed to swallow her up, closing in around her. “I’ll call the foreman over at Warren’s Acres and make sure she made it home. Let’s give her some space and then we’ll go over in the morning.”

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  “I know, Wyatt.” Austin looked over at his brother, seeing the misery in his face. Austin slapped him on the back. Usually, it was him who fucked things up. Wyatt was older, always the responsible one. Austin could commiserate with his brother, but they had their work cut out for them if they were going to convince Hannah that what she just told them didn’t matter.

  Chapter Twelve

  A week later, Hannah walked into the kitchen wondering why she even bothered. It wasn’t like she needed the caffeine. She hadn’t really been able to sleep these last seven nights. Hannah looked up from her fuzzy slippers and practically jumped out of her skin. There sat Darla in a burgundy, flowery nightgown and her hair swept up in a clip. She was sipping on a cup of coffee as her father was cooking something on the stove. She didn’t mean to, but Hannah blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

  “Should you be having sex this soon after your heart attack?”

  Darla sloshed coffee over the rim of her mug as her father threw his head back, belting out a laugh. Hannah didn’t see the humor in the situation and crossed her arms, waiting for an answer. Professionally, Hannah knew that whatever activities they wanted to indulge in were fine, but as a daughter, she was overprotective.

  “I’ve never felt better, Hannah.” Her dad turned off the stove and then walked over to where Darla sat, using a napkin to clean up her spill. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Darla’s made me feel as if I were back in my twenties.”

  Much to Hannah’s amazement, Darla blushed. This past week, Darla had been visiting the house every evening after work, keeping her dad company. They would sit in front of the fireplace and play cards, laughing until all hours of the night. She had been glad that Darla picked up the slack, as Hannah had been immersing herself in work. Hannah just hadn’t expected to see that Darla had spent the night last night.

  “That’s nice and all, but have you cleared this with Shep?”

  “Oh, honey,” Darla said, drawing her words out and batting her eyes, “that’s the first thing we did.”

  Both of them giggled. Hannah knew her jaw fell open, but seeing her father act like a schoolboy was a total shock. Observing them a few moments
more, Hannah conceded that her father had never looked healthier—or happier, which was more than could be said for her, considering she’d been biting everyone’s heads off for no reason. Neither Shep nor Darla said a word about her cranky mood or the fact she’d been ignoring Wyatt and Austin.

  “Speaking of feeling young and in love again, have you made up with Wyatt and Austin?” Her dad went over and pulled down some plates, placing them on the table.

  “There is nothing for us to make up, Dad. We’re friends.”

  “Then why have you been ignoring them?” Darla asked, standing up and collecting some silverware. Hannah watched as she laid out three settings. “The entire town’s wondering when you’re going to give those boys a break.”

  Hannah had to tamp down her anger. The town wasn’t privy to what had really taken place, so they did what they always did and read things into the situation. And honestly, Hannah shouldn’t be angry with Wyatt or Austin anyway. Wyatt’s reaction was exactly what she had been expecting from them. Even though Austin didn’t seem too phased by her announcement, she knew it was only a matter of time until reality sunk in. She couldn’t give them what they wanted.

  “Darla, would you give me and Hannah a minute?” Her dad gave Darla a kiss, and although it wasn’t in Darla’s personality to obey a request like that, she smiled up at him and nodded. Hannah shook her head. Love did strange things to people. Deep down inside, she was happy for them. But right now, being cheerful was a hard task. Darla patted her shoulder as she shuffled past. Her dad waited until they were alone before he spoke. “Hannah, dear, sit down with me.”

  Hannah couldn’t explain why, but the tenderness that radiated from her father’s voice brought tears to her eyes. She never considered herself a weepy woman, but her father’s love always managed to touch her heart. She blinked the moisture away and took a seat, feeling like she was back in grade school and about to receive a lecture.

  “While you were at work yesterday, those boys came to see me.” Her dad laid down the kitchen towel on the table. “They explained that you told them about your inability to have children.”

  Hannah wanted to interrupt, but her dad raised his hand, indicating he wasn’t done. Out of respect, she closed her mouth and let him continue. She really didn’t want to hear the rest of the story, but some morbid curiosity made itself known. What had they said to her father?

  “Austin said they’ve been by the clinic every day after closing, waiting to speak with you. Apparently, the day you came to the hospital following my release, they couldn’t find you. You gave them no choice but to try to speak with you at work, especially since you’ve been there ’til all hours of the night.”

  “Darla and I’ve been fixing the filing system for the clinic,” Hannah defended herself. “Besides, we’ve decided to computerize the files, and that takes time. I’m just helping her out.”

  “Bullshit.” Hannah rarely heard her father curse and knew she’d better let him finish. “You’re avoiding them. You need to let them explain some things to you, especially Wyatt. That boy looked like he hadn’t slept all week.”

  He could join the club. She’d been lying awake at night, watching the red numbers on her clock change until the alarm went off. Hannah knew she’d lost weight, as her jeans were starting to sag. She was starting to get scared that the purple bags under her eyes were permanent.

  “I know that you think not being able to have children somehow makes people think less of you, but Hannah, it doesn’t. You are you, regardless if you can procreate. Do you think love comes with a rule book? That if we don’t all meet the guidelines, we aren’t capable of taking part?”

  “Daddy, don’t you see?” Hannah leaned forward in her chair, hoping to get her father to see things from her perspective. “This isn’t about me. It’s about them. They want children—a family. They’ve wanted what their parents had since I can remember, which is to run the ranch, have a wife who accepts being shared by two men, and have children. I can’t give them that last part, so how is it fair to me to ask them to give up their dream?”

  Hannah’s father just shook his head, as if what she was saying didn’t make sense. She bit her lip in frustration. Were all men this dense? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that two plus two added up to four. And her one, plus their two, would never add up to anything more than three. Her inability to have children kept them from growing into the family she knew they always wanted.

  “Honey, has it ever occurred to you that all they want is you?”

  “You weren’t there when I told them, Dad.” It was Hannah’s turn to shake her head. “Austin might have been okay with it, even started talking about other options, but Wyatt—seeing the disappointment in his face was like being slammed in the chest by a bull. It wasn’t like I didn’t know that would be his reaction, so you would think I would have been okay, but it still hurt.”

  “Hannah, I never said there wouldn’t be disappointment involved. But life gives us our fair share, and it’s how we deal with it that makes us who we are.” Her dad stood up and pulled her to her feet. “I raised you to be a strong woman, Hannah. Don’t let this define who you are.”

  * * * *

  “Have you been sitting here all night?”

  Wyatt looked toward the kitchen doorway. Austin was standing there in normal work attire—jeans and a button-down denim shirt. His hair was standing every which way, and his eyes looked like he’d gone a round with Jack Daniels. Jack must have been the winner, because Austin seemed to shuffle his way to the coffeemaker. Wyatt knew his brother well enough to know that his slow steps indicated he had a headache.

  “And what if I have? At least I’m not hungover,” Wyatt said, pointing out the obvious.

  “I got some sleep, didn’t I?” Austin slammed the cabinet, then groaned as the noise clearly caused more hammering inside of his head.

  “I know this is my fault,” Wyatt said quietly, taking another sip of coffee. He looked toward the window, watching the snow come down. The meteorologists were calling for a couple inches, but with the Colorado weather, it was bound to turn into a foot. “If I had reacted more like you, then she would probably be sitting here having coffee with us.”

  “I don’t think so,” Austin said, pouring himself a cup and making his way over to the table. Once he was situated, Austin placed his mug on the wood, along with his elbows. He held his head in his hands, but continued his train of thought. “I keep looking back over our conversations, and she’d had her mind made up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, every time we’d bring up the future and wanting to be with her, she’d either change the subject or say she wanted to just enjoy the sex.” Austin rubbed his head, and then finally reached for his hot drink. “She never planned on being with us for the long haul, Wyatt.”

  “Look, I know you’re trying to make me feel better—”

  “This has nothing to do with your ego, man. She somehow got it in her head that having kids is more important to us than having her in our life.”

  Wyatt thought about what his brother said and started thinking about their time spent together. The first conversation they had with her had been at the Spirit Café. She mentioned how they said they wanted to live a little before settling down to have a family. Granted, she was quoting him from fourteen years ago, but she still threw it in their faces. And then, when they brought her back to the ranch, how she stated they really didn’t know her anymore. Son of a bitch, he thought. She’d already made up her mind not to have a future with them.

  “You’re right. She had it all figured out that we would react a certain way, and I confirmed every suspicion she ever had.” Wyatt slammed his fist on the table. It was a good thing Austin had picked up his mug to take a sip, otherwise, he would have been scalded. “You know what this calls for, right?”

  Austin was already shaking his head before Wyatt finished his question. “I know what you’re thinking, bro, but I don’t think
that’s going to work.”

  Wyatt rubbed the back of his neck. “We don’t have a choice. We need to make her see that she was wrong. Hell, that I was wrong to react the way I did. And if it takes a little spanking and some restraints to do that, then what the hell do we have to lose?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “How would you react if a woman told you that she couldn’t have children?”

  Shep looked at her over the top of his beer. He was a handsome man, with his blue eyes and blond hair, and she wondered numerous times why she wasn’t attracted to him. He had all the attributes a woman could want, so why couldn’t he be the one that drew her in? Her life would be so much simpler. Hannah slumped back into her seat in defeat.

  It was Saturday night, and Fannie’s Old Time Saloon was in full swing. After her conversation with her father this morning, Hannah had let him and Darla have some alone time by going into the office to work on the filing system. Shep had found her still there at six o’clock that night and finally dragged her over to the bar. She couldn’t say she wasn’t grateful, because after staring at papers all day and then trying to scan them into the computer, her eyes had started to cross.

  “It depends, really.” Shep put down his bottle of beer. “Obviously, love plays a huge factor. Any woman I love and end up spending my life with, children are a byproduct that will only enhance our life. But she has to view it that way, too.”

  “What does that mean?” Hannah snapped, waving her hand around the bar. “A byproduct? Trust me, she isn’t going to view children as a byproduct.”

  “And that’s why it would depend,” Shep said, using his doctor-to-patient voice. Hannah had always liked the patience that showed through his conversations, but using it on her felt like a betrayal. Hannah felt the urge to throw her beer into his face, but refrained. “Children come from love, no matter how you have them. Whether it’s biological, surrogate, adoption, or whatever the means, love is the reason that happens. If the woman can’t accept that she isn’t perfect, then no love in the word can produce a healthy family.”