Damaged Heart (A San Diegan Novel Book 3)

by S. M. Soto

  “Fuck,” he breathes out huskily. “Look at the way your pussy is creaming for me already.”

  All I manage to do is moan in response. His lips descend upon mine as his elbows rest on the sides of my head to keep from crushing me with his weight. His hand travels between our grinding bodies and his fingers find purchase over my bundle of nerves.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whisper harshly as licks of pleasure take root in my core.

  With his hands cupped around my waist, he shifts upward, rising to his knees. Alex effortlessly slams me down on his hard cock so I’m sitting in his lap. With a mind of their own, my arms grasp his shoulders for leverage as I use my upper body strength to grind my pussy up and down his thick length. Lifting my hips, I snap them down roughly over his dick, grinding forward, then up and then down again. The sounds of wet flesh slapping only fuel my hunger for him.

  I need more.

  My nipples rub against his chest with every thrust, his hips jerking forward to meet me.

  “More,” I somehow manage to pant out in between my erratic breaths.

  Suddenly, Alex pulls out of me and I gasp at the loss. He roughly tosses me down on the bed, and I stare up at him, into his darkened eyes. Slowly, he leans back over me, and I get so lost in those endless, dark pools that make me want things I know I can’t have.

  “Get on your hands and knees,” he demands in a gravelly voice. An excited whimper falls from my lips as I rest on my hands and knees, pushing my ass in the air. Alex’s growl has my hands fisting into the sheets in anticipation. I love it like this. When Alex takes me from the back. It’s so primal, and I’m not afraid to admit that the other positions are too intimate for me. This…this is exactly what I need to get my mind off everything.

  With every inch closer he gets, the blood roars thicker through my veins and my heart beats a little faster. Alex rubs his calloused hand over my ass and squeezes the flesh roughly in his palms. The sharp sting against my ass is so unexpected, I yelp when his palm makes contact. Heat blooms across my flesh and I lick my lips, dying for him to slide inside me.

  The bed dips behind me and I feel the heat of his body so close, yet so far away. It’s infuriating. As if sensing my slipping restraint, his hand curls around my throat, applying just the right amount of pressure—the way I like it. Without warning, Alex’s long shaft impales me, and I momentarily lose consciousness.

  “Oh, god.”

  “Oh, c’mon Samantha, I know you know my name. Use it, baby.” He pants the words out between his thrusts.

  He uses my body so well, each of his thrusts is so deep, I wince in pain and groan in pleasure. He slides all the way out before slamming all the way in, like he’s playing with me, enjoying watching the little show I’m putting on for him. Alex’s free hand slides under my body. First, he fondles my breasts that jiggle with each pound of hips into me. Then, his hand glides lower, right to the sensitive bundle of nerves, and he pinches.

  “Fuuuuck,” I breathe, shoving my face into the sheets. He chuckles behind me, enjoying the show, and slaps his hand over my clit repeatedly, never once slowing the pace as he fucks me.

  “You’re fucking soaked, Samantha,” he groans erotically in my ear. His fingers start rubbing circles over my clit that drive me completely insane.

  “ALEX!” I scream and stars flash behind my eyes as his cock hits that spot deep inside me, the one that makes everything go black yet colorful at the same time. My pussy clenches around his length, sucking him in deeper with each of his thrusts.

  “That’s it, baby. Milk my cock, just like that. Take it, Samantha, take all of it.” He grunts, his words sending me over the edge.

  My body jolts and spasms beneath him uncontrollably as euphoria soars through my veins.

  It doesn’t take him long to follow me over the edge. His grip on my body tightens almost painfully. His fingertips dig into my hips as he pounds out his release. A feral roar rips from his chest, wrapping sensually around my body. His hips piston inside me, until I feel the twitch of his cock, and warmth floods my womb. I let him rest his body on top of mine, our sweat intermingling as we struggle for much-needed breath. With his body so close to mine, I easily lose myself in him. The cadence of his heart lulls me into an overwhelming sense of peace.

  “Ready to talk now?” His voice vibrates in his chest, rumbling over my face. I nestle deeper into him, and I inhale his scent, hoping it’ll ground me.

  “No.” My voice is small and unsure, so unlike me. Gripping my hands around his waist, I will the burning behind my closed eyes to cease.

  “Sammy…”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  He blows out a gruff breath. “Fine, I won’t, but I still want you to tell me. I’ve given you what you need, the rough sex and an orgasm. I want a fair trade, firecracker.”

  “So you’re saying you didn’t want this?” I raise a single brow, calling his bluff. His lips twist into a knowing grin.

  “Never said that. My cock has a mind of his own whenever he’s around you, firecracker, but that doesn’t mean that’s all I want or care about. If all you wanted to do was talk the entire night, I’d let you, because you’re the only thing that matters.”

  Closing my eyes, I chew restlessly on my bottom lip, debating how much I should share with him. On one hand, too much information will have him pitying me and on the other, maybe he’ll finally drop it. Sucking in a lungful of air, I bite the bullet.

  “I-I hate him. And I hate her.”

  He’s silent for all of two seconds before asking, “Who?”

  “Margaret and Cyrus.”

  My mother’s name and his name are like acid in my mouth, sending a shudder through my body. Alex grips me tighter against him. The small act is reassuring.

  “He ruined me…everything good about me, he obliterated when I was a child. They both ruined me.”

  Alex sighs into my hair. “You’re not ruined, Sam, no matter what you think they did to ruin you—you’re wrong.”

  My chest hollows out and a sharp, painful jab, like an ice pick, is shot through my heart. My lip quivers uncontrollably as I try to suppress all the anger running rampant through me.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Alex. Every time he touched me, he took something from me. Something my six-year-old self can never get back.” His body stiffens beneath me momentarily before his arms wrap around me with suffocating strength. Taking a deep breath, I swallow down my tears and strengthen my voice. “I hate them both for doing this to me. For shaping me into this person I am today. I hate them for ruining any good that was left in me.”

  Knowing me better than anyone, Alex doesn’t say another word. He just lets me lie on top of him, allowing me to use him as my crutch. My anger slowly dissipates as I listen to the rhythmic beat of his heart and his steady breathing. Just as I’m on the cusp of falling asleep, he says something that further breaks my heart, nearly bringing me to tears.

  “You’re not ruined, Samantha. You’re like that single wildflower that grows in the crack of the gritty pavement. With no water or nurturing, you’ve somehow still found a way to grow into a beautiful person, inside and out. No one’s perfect. Everyone’s bad in their own ways, Sam, but what you’re forgetting is all the good in you outweighs the bad, any day.” With that declaration, he kisses the top of my head and pulls me closer into his arms before drifting off to sleep.

  The large body of heat emanating from my back brings a slow, sensuous smile to my face. I groggily roll on my side, facing Alex, who’s still dead asleep. While he’s peacefully sleeping, I admire his features. His plump lips are slightly parted, and his five o’clock shadow along his jaw has me itching to run my hand along his face. I trail my gaze down to the slabs of lean muscle along his arms and shoulders. I bring my hand to my mouth and rub my fingers along my lips, remembering what it felt like to have my mouth on that sinful body.

  “Stop staring at me.”

  His voice jolts me out of my thoughts, and I swallow
thickly. “Who says I’m even looking at you?”

  Alex peeks open one eye and raises a brow, giving me a comical stare that makes me laugh. “I can literally feel the heat of your stare.”

  I roll my eyes at his dramatics, and move to get off the bed.

  “Oh no, firecracker. You’re not slipping out just yet.”

  “I’m not?” I ask him with a smile in my voice. He pulls my body flush against his chest and bends near my ear, whispering huskily, “Nope. I’m starving and breakfast in bed is what my appetite calls for—well that, and your pussy.”

  I laugh at his dirty words, trying to ignore the pang of desire between my legs. “I really need to head home and get ready for work.”

  “And I really need to eat your pussy. We all gotta eat.”

  “God, you’re insatiable.”

  He juts back with both brows raised while his hand slips in between my legs. “Says the woman who’s soaked.”

  I feel my lips quirk, and when his fingers start working their magic, my eyes roll into the back of my head. I wrap my hand around his neck, bringing his mouth down to mine.

  Fuck getting to work on time.

  ***

  After my too-long shift and a late night of sex and debauchery, I’m elated that I’m home. Tossing my keys and purse on the table, I head straight to the kitchen cabinets, where I find my treasured pack of Oreos.

  “Nat!” I yell out with a mouthful of cookie. Seconds later, Natalia comes hobbling into the kitchen while simultaneously trying to slip on her Converse. I take in her freshly curled hair and low-cut tank top, and smile to myself.

  “Well, look at you. Where you headed?”

  “Oh, just going to Luke’s place to study for a bit,” she says with a nonchalant shrug as she avoids my gaze.

  “Mmm, that’s quite a low-cut top for a study session, don’t you think?” I goad her with a smile in my voice.

  Natalia pierces me with her narrowed gaze. “Please don’t start, Sam.”

  I raise my hands in surrender and pop another cookie into my mouth just as there’s knocking at the front door.

  “Is lover-boy coming here instead? How exciting. I’ll be sure to stay out of the way,” I holler as Natalia rounds the corner to answer the door.

  Aliza and Nat both walk into the kitchen and I can’t help but sigh in relief when I see what Aliza’s carrying.

  “Oh, please tell me that’s what I think it is?” I half groan, half ask.

  Aliza laughs and pulls out a Double Double with fries from In-n-Out. “Of course. I had a feeling you were craving a burger and fries just as much as I was.”

  “God, I love you!” I moan, grabbing the food from her hand and setting it in front of me. Hopping out of the seat, I head straight to the freezer and pull out vanilla ice cream to make root beer floats.

  What’s a burger and fries without a root beer float?

  Aliza plops down at the table and shifts her attention to Natalia. With her head cocked to the side and a narrowed gaze, Aliza pointedly looks at Natalia.

  “What’s with the shirt? Are you finally letting the girls out?”

  At the look on Natalia’s face, I nearly choke on a piece of my cheeseburger.

  “There’s nothing wrong with my top. It’s warm outside. So freaking sue me if I want to wear a tank top while I go study!”

  Aliza raises her brows at me in a “what the fuck is going on?” look, prompting me to rub it in a bit more.

  “Have you seen his dick bulge yet? Is it almost as delicious as he is?” I ask while waggling my brows. Natalia scowls at me before spinning on her heels.

  “You’re depraved, Samantha,” she says over her shoulder as she walks toward the front door.

  “So is that a yes?” I shout to her retreating form, and the slamming of the front door is the only answer I get.

  “Well, I guess it’s just you and me tonight, Ohio,” I say turning my attention to Aliza.

  “Fine by me. When do you think she’ll start to realize she’s falling for him?” Aliza asks with that knowing look. We both know it’s only a matter of time before Natalia realizes she’s fallen for the hot quarterback.

  “Who the fuck knows? I keep trying to talk some sense into that girl, but nooo. What the hell do I know, right? I’m just a serial-dater-slash-ex-stripper-slash-kick-ass fucking bartender.”

  Laughing, Aliza coughs on a mouthful of her root beer float. “Wow, that’s quite the list of accomplishments you got going on there,” she says with mirth. Her brows suddenly furrow as she looks down at her root beer float.

  “Sam?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “How old is this root beer? I swear there’s like no carbonation left. It just tastes like syrup,” she says with her nose curling up in distaste. I roll my eyes at her dramatics.

  “I think it’s from like last Christmas or something like that. I honestly can’t even remember.”

  Root beer sprays out of Aliza’s mouth as she gapes at me.

  “That was eight months ago! You’re feeding me eight-month-old soda? Are you insane? Jesus, Samantha, no wonder this tastes horrible.”

  “Give me a break, Ohio. You act like soda has an expiration date.”

  Aliza slides her glass away from her, and finishes her burger without a drink. Her loss.

  After finishing up our food, I toss the wrappers in the garbage and plop down into my seat with my hands over my bloated stomach.

  “Can I ask you something personal?” Aliza’s voice penetrates my after-food fog, and sounds more tentative than normal.

  “Depends on what it is.”

  “Why don’t you ever talk about your family?”

  Her question prompts me to blow out a frustrated sigh. I look into the curious orbs of her blues, trying to figure out how to answer that. It’s simple, really. I don’t have any family, and the ones I did have were all pieces of shit. The life I’ve had to live isn’t something Aliza would understand. Before her family passed in a tragic accident, she had it all. The happy, healthy family. The loving parents. She never knew what it was like to be treated like trash by your own mother; to not be shown love by the one person who is supposed to care the most. No. Aliza’s image of a family is a lot different than mine.

  “What family?” I manage to scoff. Aliza narrows her eyes at me, waiting for me to break and give her more information.

  Well, good luck with that. It’s been twenty-five years and I still haven’t broken yet.

  “Sam…” Her voice trails off and she blows out a breath.

  “Don’t ‘Sam’ me, Ohio.” I groan. “You really want to know why I don’t talk about my family? Because they were all worthless. They don’t mean shit to me, just like I didn’t mean shit to them.”

  Her eyes widen at my leaked information.

  Yeah, I know, a lot to take in for a sweet little thing like you.

  “My dad bolted when my mom told him she was pregnant, and my mom…God, she’s just another screwed-up story.” I sigh. “She was a fucking drug addict who was more worried about her next hit and being high than the well-being of her only daughter.”

  “I’m sorry, Sam,” she says sincerely as sadness creeps into her turbulent blue eyes.

  “Yeah, me too,” I say with so much conviction, I feel it in my chest. “I know you’re big on family after losing yours, but sometimes, people don’t have a happy family to count on. Sometimes, all we have is ourselves.”

  “And what happened after you left home, where did you go?”

  “Foster homes.”

  “How did you end up in San Diego?”

  “I stole money from my foster father.”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “Samantha!”

  “He raped me every night for two solid years. He’s lucky all I took was his fucking money,” I grumble, propping my feet on table and crossing them at the ankles. There’s an uncomfortable amount of silence and I immediately realize my mistake.

  Fuck me. I should’ve kept that one to m
yself.

  “What did you just say?” she asks with wide eyes, prompting me to roll mine to play off the seriousness of this moment.

  “Don’t make it a big deal. Most times I learned to block it out. He wasn’t horrible-looking, so it made it easier,” I say with a shrug.

  “Samantha,” she says in that sad voice I hate, too close to tears for my comfort.

  “Don’t start crying on me now, Ohio. That’s just the beginning.”

  “Okay, okay. No tears…but I do want you to tell me. Everything.”

  Grabbing my empty glass, I get up and pat her golden blond hair lightly on my way toward the sink. “All in good time, young grasshopper.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  April 2007

  The bathroom door opens as Alex steps out with a billow of steam behind him, rocking a plush white towel around his waist. I lick my lips as I admire his sleek body and his gleaming abdomen, still slick with water droplets from his shower.

  I hate to admit it, but Alex is seriously the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. All the girls at San Diego High seem to think so, too. He’s the cream of the crop. A jock. Insanely popular. He’s the whole package. And the catty bitches at school sure know it, too. Every girl seems to have their eye on him or CJ. It’s either one or the other—if not both. I’ve heard all the rumors already. Alex and CJ were the dynamic duo there. No one fucked with them, and not just any girl could be fucked by them, either. They were untouchable. Unattainable. They were San Diego’s biggest playboys.

  After pursuing me relentlessly at school, I finally gave in to the chase, which has sadly made me a target for all the catty bitches roaming the halls at San Diego High to hate on. If I was a totally different person, I’d shy away from all his attention and cower at every insult slung my way by those girls, but I’m not a different person. I’m me, and I don’t give a flying fuck if those girls think I’m trashy, or not good enough for Alex. I came up from nothing and no one can tell me anything I already don’t know. I may not have the loving family, or live in a beautiful house like the rest of these spoiled assholes, but I am proud of how far I’ve come. I may not necessarily be proud of who I am; nonetheless, I’ve still made it farther than anyone in my past life ever expected.