Be Loved (At Last, The Beloved Series Book 3)

by Stella Starling

  Brandon held him close, stroking his back and holding him tight and almost making Shane believe it. The strength in Brandon’s arms was comforting, but, as Shane buried his head against Brandon’s shoulder and broke his promise about not letting Peter make him cry again, he suspected that Brandon was wrong.

  Peter had made him a promise once. At the time—during their first big fight, the first of too many times that Peter had reduced Shane to tears—Shane had been foolish enough to think that promise was romantic.

  It’s not over until I say it’s over, baby.

  Chapter 5

  Brandon

  When Brandon’s phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled it out, grateful that his partner, Luis, was driving so that he could take the personal call. He’d hated the idea of leaving Shane alone during his New Year’s Eve shift after Peter’s visit, but luckily, Shane had had an invitation from friends for a New Year’s Eve party and had agreed to stay the night with them.

  Still, receiving a call at 5:00 a.m.—just as their shift was coming to an end—instantly had his heart racing. If Peter had done anything to Shane, Brandon would never forgive himself.

  “Man, if I were in your shoes, I would have been on the phone with the station faster than fire on gasoline,” Luis was saying, eyes on the road as he continued to rehash the conversation they’d been having about Peter. “Who does that guy think he is, coming to your apartment like that? He knows what you do for a living, right?”

  “Yep,” Brandon said, glancing down at his screen as he finally freed his phone. The tension eased out of him, and he grinned. It wasn’t Shane. “Gotta take this, Luis.”

  Luis glanced over, nodding as he shut his mouth and mimed zipping his lips. Brandon could see the raging curiosity in his partner’s eyes. He didn’t normally receive or accept personal calls while on duty, but they were about ten minutes away from the station, and besides—

  “Hi, Mom. What are you doing up so early?”

  Luis snort-laughed next to him, knowing as well as Brandon did that his mother was one of those weird, natural morning people.

  Brandon and Luis had been partners on the force for two years, and Beverly Byrne had decided from the get-go that that gave her a right to treat Luis and his wife, Maria, as if they were her own. They’d become a fixture at the Byrne summer barbecues, and Beverly called Maria the daughter she’d never had.

  “Good morning, Mama Byrne,” Luis called out loudly. “Happy New Year.”

  “Is that Luis?” she asked in Brandon’s ear. “Oh, honey, I thought you’d be off work by now. Tell him hello from me. Has he been taking that Vitamin C I sent to the station? You know it’s cold season, and with Maria always bringing home germs—” Maria was a kindergarten teacher, “—he needs to keep his immune system strong. You boys can’t afford to be sick when you’re out on patrol.”

  “Mom says hi,” Brandon obediently passed on, rolling his eyes and ignoring the rest. Sometimes he could swear that his mother forgot that the Rodriguezes weren’t her own.

  “Why don’t you call me back when you’re off shift, Brandon,” Beverly said. “I didn’t mean to bother you while you were working.”

  “It’s fine, Mom. Unless we get a call in the next few minutes—”

  The police radio crackled to life, and Luis threw him a withering look as the voice of Flora from dispatch came through. “You jinxed us,” he whispered.

  “Well, in that case, I wanted to talk to you about Jacob Hansen,” Beverly said, not picking up on the background noise. “I was just talking with Marlene—”

  “At five in the morning?” Brandon asked incredulously, shaking his head. He needed to get off the phone, but… seriously? He laughed. His mother was relentless when it came to matchmaking, but this was a little extreme, even for her.

  “We have a PD 10-57 at 2384 Madison crossroad Wabash, repeat, a PD 10-57 at 2384 Madison crossroad Wabash. Situation is noncritical,” Flora’s familiar monotone rattled off. “Property is commercial, occupied by a business called ‘bLoved.’ The security company phoned it in. They reported that there are no individuals currently present at the scene. It appears a window’s been shattered. The owner of the business has been contacted. Please report and investigate.”

  “10-4.” Luis said, sighing. Then, once he’d disconnected, “We were almost off, too.”

  “Just some hit-and-run property damage,” Brandon said, covering the mic on his personal phone with an apologetic shrug. “Hopefully we’ll be in and out quickly.”

  Luis nodded.

  “Marlene and I have been meeting at the gym for the early Zumba class, honey,” Beverly was saying in his ear. “Anyway, Jacob is so looking forward to seeing you again. He doesn’t have a car here in town yet, so I told her that I was sure you’d be able to pick him up. Is that okay? I know you don’t like me to interfere in your love life—”

  Brandon choked on a laugh. When had that ever stopped her?

  “—but this is Marlene’s boy, and I want everything to go right. Can you imagine how perfect it would be if the two of you got together?”

  No, he really couldn’t. Especially with Shane available now. Not, of course, that he’d let himself get his hopes up, or rush Shane into anything. But still…

  “Mom, I’m sorry, but—”

  “Don’t back out now, Brandon Christopher Byrne,” she snapped, cutting him off. “Marlene is so excited, and Jacob would be devastated. All I’m asking is one date, which, I might add, you already promised. Give the boy a chance. You might like him.”

  Brandon highly doubted that Jacob would be “devastated,” but he could tell his mother was going to make his life hell if he said no. He grimaced.

  “Marlene just gave me his contact details, honey, and I’m going to send them to your phone now,” she said, steamrolling over his silence as if he’d already agreed. “Zumba’s about to start, so I’ve got to go, but I know you’ll have a good time, Brandon. Jacob sounds like a real firecracker.”

  “Fine, Mom. One date,” he said, wondering what constituted “a firecracker” in his mother’s opinion. He grinned, not entirely sure he wanted to know. “Have fun at Zumba.”

  “Thank you, honey,” she said briskly, ending the call. “Tell Luis to give Maria my love.”

  “You letting your mom set you up on a blind date?” Luis asked as soon as Brandon put the phone away. He laughed as he came to a stop at a red light. Traffic always moved slowly around police cars, drivers eager to overcorrect their speeds. “You’re a brave man, Brandon.”

  “It’s not a real date,” Brandon said. He’d actually forgotten about it until his mother’s call, but she was right about one thing. It would be rude to back out. Before the situation with Shane had come up, he’d already suggested Tuesday—tomorrow—since it was his next night off. He’d take Jacob out to eat, make some conversation, and hopefully make it an early night.

  “Why not?” Luis asked, glancing over as the light switched to green. “I mean, granted, blind dates are by definition impending disasters, but you might consider giving the guy a chance.”

  Brandon laughed. “Really? Are you and my Mom in cahoots?”

  “Cahoots?” Luis grinned. “Do people actually use that word in real live conversation? But seriously, Brandon. I’m just saying, it’s not the worst thing in the world to have someone to come home to.”

  Madison and Wabash was located within the Loop, Chicago’s business district. It was a prime location right off the shores of Lake Michigan, and as they pulled up in front of the old, brick building that Flora had directed them to, a blond man was standing on the sidewalk amidst the shattered glass from the broken window behind him, looking irritated.

  “Perp?” Luis asked, his relaxed tone implying how unlikely he thought that was.

  Brandon laughed, looking at the scowl. “I’m going with owner,” he said, remembering the information Flora had rattled off.

  “Well, let’s get this done,” Luis said, stifling a yawn. �
�You may not be interested in the joys of having a better half, but let me tell you, the way Maria welcomes me home after a long shift is definitely lighting a fire under my ass to wrap this call up quickly.”

  Brandon grinned, following his partner out of the car. Thinking about the day before, with Shane, he could relate to that. Not that anything had happened after Peter had left, of course. Shane had just… been there.

  But that had been everything.

  Brandon frowned as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex. Shane’s car was parked in his guest spot. Peter’s wasn’t there, as far as he could see, so that was something. But still, he found himself taking the stairs two at a time.

  The front door wasn’t locked.

  “Shane?” Brandon called out, pushing it open with his heart in his throat.

  By the time he and Luis had finished dealing with the incredibly annoying owner of bLoved, Kelly Davis, made it back to the station, and then written up the required reports, it had been after seven in the morning. It was almost eight now, but Shane should have been safe and sound, sleeping off the night’s festivities at his friend’s place.

  Shane didn’t answer, but Brandon heard movement in the kitchen. His heart rate finally started to slow when he found Shane there, earbuds in and up to his elbow in soapy water in the sink. The kitchen smelled… amazing.

  Shane obviously couldn’t hear him, and Brandon indulged in a moment of fantasy. It’s not the worst thing in the world to have someone to come home to. But then Shane turned, jumping a little when he caught sight of Brandon and then tugging his earbuds out with a grin.

  “Hey, you,” Shane said over the tinny sound of something upbeat that he’d been listening to. Sam Tsui, if Brandon wasn’t mistaken. “You’re home later than I expected. Everything okay out on the mean streets of Chicago?”

  “Is everything okay with you?” Brandon countered, crossing the room and pulling Shane into his arms. He made it quick—just friends, perfectly normal—but his whole body felt electrified by the brief hug. “I thought the plan was for you to stay over at Clayton and Daniel’s place, not to mention still be asleep right now.”

  “David, not Daniel,” Shane said, leaning back against the sink. “You remember, he used to wait tables with me at Opulence? With the goatee? And there’s no ‘still’ asleep, I haven’t actually made it that far yet.”

  The last word was almost lost in a yawn, and Brandon frowned. “Why not? Please tell me you didn’t drive here after drinking all night.”

  “Of course not,” Shane said, fiddling with the dishrag in his hands. “I had a few drinks around midnight, but then I stopped after that. God, I can’t believe I let six months slip by without seeing those guys before having them over the other night.”

  Brandon refrained from commenting on who he suspected had actually been responsible for that time “slipping” by. The important thing was that Shane had left the jerk.

  “I really did have a great time at Clayton and David’s,” Shane went on. Then, looking a little sheepish, he added, “But… I just couldn’t make myself fall asleep over there. I wanted to be with you. I mean, here. I just feel better here. And then I figured you’d be home soon, so I made you some banana bread. You still like it, right? Your bananas were going bad, and I needed to do something to keep me awake.”

  Shane was babbling. He’d always been prone to it when he was tired. Brandon felt the same, and for a dizzying moment he imagined that he really had come home to Shane—in the we’re-a-couple sense—and that they were going to go to bed together, and—

  “You could have gone to bed without me,” Brandon said, not letting himself go there. He shoved his hands in his pockets so he didn’t reach for Shane again. “But I don’t like that Peter knows you’re here. Especially with the front door unlocked, and you with earbuds in…”

  He let his voice trail off as Shane blanched. He didn’t want to scare Shane, but at the same time, Brandon’s gut was telling him that Peter wasn’t going to let go that easily.

  “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be sure to do better next time.”

  “I wasn’t looking for an apology,” Brandon said, frowning at Shane’s quick acceptance of a blame he’d never meant to give. “I just want to make sure you’re safe, honey. I’m going to have an alarm system installed tomorrow.”

  Shane blinked. “I don’t want you to have to do that, Brandon. I mean, I’m sorry I came back here without telling you. I used the spare key you keep hidden in the vent, but—”

  “Shane, stop.” Brandon cut him off, giving in and pulling him close. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

  Friends hugged, right? And Shane didn’t seem to mind, yawning and melting into him as if he’d always belonged there.

  Brandon swallowed. What had they been talking about?

  Oh, right. “Consider that key yours. You can stay here as long as you need to—” forever, please, “—but I am going to install a security system. Don’t argue.”

  “Okay,” Shane said sleepily. “Sorry to be so much trouble, though.”

  Brandon laughed, smoothing a hand down Shane’s back. “If you were trouble, you would be one thousand percent worth it. But coming home to find you waiting up for me, baking for me and making my kitchen look better than it has since I moved in? Yeah, no. That’s not trouble. That’s—” heaven “—definitely something I could get used to.”

  Shane gave him a sleepy smile. “Banana bread should be ready in a few if you want to shower. I’m just going to finish the dishes while it finishes baking.”

  “You can use the dishwasher, you know,” Brandon said, making himself step away.

  Shower? Yeah, he wanted to… but did he need to? He reached up and scratched the back of his head, using it as an excuse to surreptitiously check himself. Not too bad… was it?

  No more hugging until after he showered, though, just to be safe.

  “Oh, I didn’t even think of doing that,” Shane said, laughing. “Peter thought the dishwasher was too wasteful. It uses so much water, you know. I just got used to doing all our dishes by hand.”

  “I’m way too lazy for that,” Brandon said, restraining himself from commenting on Peter’s dickishness. Had Peter ever done the dishes by hand? Brandon was going to bet on no. “But seriously, Shane, why don’t you go to bed? I can finish washing up here, and you look beat.”

  “I don’t mind,” Shane said, covering his mouth to hide another epic yawn. “I’m not sure if your oven runs true to temperature, so doing this will help me stay awake until the timer goes off for the banana bread. I want to make sure it’s really done.”

  “You just don’t want me to forget about it and burn it,” Brandon said, grinning.

  “Well…” Shane smiled back, not even pretending to deny it.

  One botched baking lesson back in high school…

  Shane laughed. “I don’t know how we used to do all-nighters when we were kids. Last night was worth it, but it’s definitely kicking my ass now. I think I will go to bed as soon as it’s done, if you don’t mind. ”

  “For sure,” Brandon said, breaking his rule and wrapping his arms around Shane again. It was like an addiction, and one he hadn’t really been able to indulge in much, ever, since Shane was always dating someone-who-wasn’t-Brandon.

  But he wasn’t now.

  Brandon dropped his arms and stepped back, clearing his throat as he suddenly remembered the possibly-not-so-fresh state he was in. “I’ll go shower now, hon— Shane. And thanks for doing all this. I mean it. I’ve never come home to fresh-baked anything before.”

  “Well, clearly you’re dating the wrong kind of man,” Shane said, going red as soon as the words left his mouth. “Not, I mean, I didn’t mean, not that we’re—” He turned back to the sink, finishing with an abrupt, “I’m just going to finish up the dishes now. Good night. I mean, good morning. Goodbye?”

  Brandon laughed. “For now,” he agreed, his heart
feeling lighter than it had been for longer than he could remember. “But I’ll see you in about eight hours.”

  “It’s a date,” Shane agreed, twisting around to smile over his shoulder. “For, you know, seeing each other.”

  Which, really, was the perfect way to start the new year, as far as Brandon was concerned.

  Chapter 6

  Shane

  Shane threw an arm over his eyes, trying to block out the light so he could get to sleep.

  The bed was too soft.

  Too big.

  Too empty.

  He sighed, lowering his arm. The bed wasn’t the problem, nor was the morning light.

  The sound of the shower abruptly shut off, but he was not going to think about Brandon stepping out of it. Shane had never once, in ten long years of friendship—friendship plus, yes, possibly a slight amount of infatuation—let himself go there. He’d never cheated on a boyfriend, not even in the privacy of his own thoughts, and thinking of Brandon the way he was definitely not letting himself think about him right at this very moment would have crossed that line.

  Besides, Brandon had never wanted him like that… something that had been hard to remember back in the kitchen. Or maybe things had just felt more intimate because Shane was so tired. And he was tired. He’d been wiped out by four in the morning, when the party at Clayton and David’s had started to wind down. Their guest room had been much cuter than the sparsely furnished one here at Brandon’s. Their guest bed had been comfortable. They’d been warm and welcoming and incredibly supportive about the fact that he’d left Peter.

  But still… he hadn’t been able to sleep.

  Outside his door, he could hear Brandon moving about. There was just one bathroom in the two-bedroom apartment, so Brandon would have had to walk down the hall to his room to dress. But Brandon was just going to go to bed, right? So he wouldn’t have actually dressed, he’d just have thrown on… what? What would Brandon sleep in now?