Be Loved (At Last, The Beloved Series Book 3)

by Stella Starling

  “Not my fault you’re refusing to lose,” Shane taunted. “It’d be so much easier if you just admitted your inferiority.”

  Brandon laughed, grabbing his wallet off the credenza as one of their phones started to vibrate in the other room, rattling loudly. “Is that yours or mine?” he asked, heading for the door.

  “I’ll check.” Shane made his way into the kitchen to check, doing his best to tamp down a surge of anxiety at the insistent sound.

  Even though Peter hadn’t shown up at Brandon’s apartment again, he’d been texting Shane constantly. Things like our love is eternal and I’m ready for you to come home, baby and don’t worry, I won’t let anyone tear us apart. At first, Shane had replied, making it clear that it was over, but it was as if Peter didn’t even register his responses, so Shane had started just ignoring them.

  Which didn’t seem to slow Peter down at all.

  It was like he was stuck in his own world… one that had no relationship with actual reality. Shane shivered. It was hard to believe he’d slept next to the man every night. Peter’s behavior now felt downright creepy, and it made him grateful that Brandon had followed through on his promise to get a security system installed.

  He and Brandon both had the same model of phone, and they were sitting side by side on the kitchen counter. Shane grabbed the vibrating one, flipping it over to see the screen as his stomach tensed.

  Not Peter.

  He relaxed. It was Brandon’s phone, and the text header said Mom.

  But then he frowned, his eyes skimming the message quickly.

  You should bring Jacob something nice tonight. Flowers? Just a thought. I can’t wait to hear how the date goes! Love you, honey.

  What? Brandon had a date? Tonight?

  Brandon walked in and plopped three large bags stuffed with Chinese takeout on the counter. They smelled delicious, but Shane’s stomach felt too twisted up to appreciate it.

  “I forgot how big their portions are,” Brandon said, laughing as he started to unpack the containers. “Guess this will be our lunch, dinner, and breakfast tomorrow, too.”

  “Sounds like you already have dinner plans,” Shane said tightly, flipping Brandon’s phone to face him.

  Brandon froze, blinking at the screen. “Oh, crap. I totally forgot.”

  “Who’s Jacob?”

  Shane wanted to bite back the words as soon as they left his mouth. He was not going to do this.

  Whoever Jacob was or wasn’t, it was none of his business and he knew it. Besides, he wanted Brandon to be happy, right? That was what mattered. That’s what friends wanted for each other.

  He set the phone down on the counter carefully, popping open one of the takeout boxes as an excuse to look away.

  Crab Rangoon.

  Brandon had ordered it for Shane. Brandon was always looking out for him. His every action showed how much thought he put into what Shane would like, what he needed, what would make him smile. Brandon was always going out of his way to do nice things for him. He’d always been that way, and he deserved the same consideration from Shane, not bitchy comments and misplaced jealousy.

  “Sorry,” Shane mumbled. “I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

  “No problem,” Brandon said, picking his phone up and staring at his mother’s text. He shook his head, putting it back down. “Jacob is, I don’t know, a guy?”

  His voice rose on the last word as if it was a question, and Shane laughed despite himself, shooting Brandon a look. “Oh, good. You’re still gay then?” he joked.

  Brandon fiddled with the plastic wrap around one of the fortune cookies, looking sheepish. Looking gorgeous.

  “Jacob’s, um, the son of one of Mom’s friends,” he elaborated, shrugging. “You know how she’s always on me to find a ‘nice boy’ and settle down. I finally caved to the pressure and let her set me up with someone.”

  Shane nodded, wondering if there was an Oscar category for best performance while your heart was breaking.

  Then he let out a gusty breath, rolling his eyes as he silently laughed at himself. Drama, much?

  Shane suddenly deciding to let his inner fantasies run rampant after all these years didn’t change the fact that Brandon had never seen him in a romantic light. But Brandon was still his best friend, and—even if this Jacob turned out to be Brandon’s soul mate—nothing would ever change that.

  It would have to be enough.

  Brandon reached for the container of crab Rangoon, and Shane slapped his hand away playfully.

  “What, I can’t have one?” Brandon asked, laughing.

  “Nope,” Shane lied. Of course he’d let Brandon have some. “You don’t want to ruin your dinner.”

  Oops. But seriously, that was the last snark.

  Brandon snorted, bumping him out of the way and not seeming to notice Shane’s momentary lack of graciousness. “Dinner’s not for hours yet. I’m going to need my strength up for the victory dance I’ll be doing once I trounce you at Star Fox. Hurry up and serve yourself, Shane, because I’ve got a championship to win.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t.” Shane narrowed his eyes, firmly pushing aside the feelings that were never going to go anywhere. Brandon was his best friend, and it was enough. It was wonderful. “That championship is mine.”

  “You’re mistaken, young Jedi,” Brandon intoned. “But mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”

  “Did you seriously just do a mash up of Star Wars and Bruce Lee?” Shane asked, laughing.

  “What can I say? I’ve got mad skills.” Brandon grinned as he made a feint for the crab Rangoon again.

  Shane blocked him. “Mm hmm. And what was that thing you used to always tell me when you mistakenly thought you were going to kick some ass?”

  “Oh, you’re mine now, Shane Allen,” Brandon dutifully recited, grinning as he finally succeeded in snatching two crab Rangoons from the box. He held them up triumphantly. “And so are these.”

  Shane laughed. And, fine, so he hadn’t really forgotten Brandon’s oft-repeated phrase, he’d just wanted to hear it again… but that was his last indulgence.

  He was done.

  They were friends, full stop.

  The timing had never been right for them.

  Or maybe some things just weren’t meant to be.

  And—even if a part of his heart was and always would be Brandon’s, just like Brandon had always said—there was still no way he was giving up the Star Fox championship title.

  Chapter 8

  Brandon

  Despite his brother’s insistence that Jacob Hansen had hung around with them when they’d all been kids, Brandon hadn’t remembered Jacob all that clearly. If he had—if he’d realized how much Jacob looked like Shane—he never would have said yes to the date in the first place.

  “Thanks,” Jacob said as Brandon held the door to the restaurant for him, smiling flirtatiously.

  He was a good-looking guy, slender, with a sharp jaw and dark hair cut almost exactly like Shane’s. Unlike Shane’s bottomless, almost-black eyes, though, Jacob’s were a bright blue, and they sparkled with mischief as he deliberately brushed against Brandon on the way in.

  And okay, maybe Jacob didn’t actually look all that much like Shane—no one would ever mistake the two men for each other—but still, after years of deliberately avoiding hooking up with anyone who might remind him of Shane, it was jarring to be out with a man with the same height and build as the one he really wanted.

  Brandon looked around the restaurant as the hostess led them to a table next to the plated glass windows. It looked out on the snowy sidewalk and was set with a linen tablecloth and tableware that sparkled with the reflection of the street lights outside.

  Shane would definitely like this place.

  Brandon wasn’t normally that big on fine dining, but little things Shane had said over his years of working at upscale restaurants had stuck with him, and he made a mental note to see if Shane wanted to come here somet
ime.

  “Do you remember that summer when the road crews had the cul-de-sac near your parents’ place blocked off?” Jacob asked once they were seated, glancing at the menu for a split-second before dropping it and leaning forward in a clear sign that he was more interested in conversation than food.

  Brandon bit back a sigh, nodding politely as he pasted a smile on his face. He’d been hoping that they’d get through the meal quickly so he could make his excuses and get back home to Shane, but it looked like Jacob was a lot more invested in this blind date than he was.

  Shane had taken to waiting up for Brandon on the nights that Brandon worked graveyard. Brandon felt a little bit guilty about that, even though he also kind of loved it. Still, he knew it was messing up Shane’s sleep cycle. Even though they’d both always been night owls, Shane’s body just wasn’t wired for it the way Brandon’s was.

  He stifled a sigh, realizing he was being selfish.

  It wasn’t fair to hope that Shane would still be waiting up after his date, just so Brandon could hang out with him a little more.

  Hoping to cut things short was also unfair to Jacob, who really did seem like a nice guy. At the moment, he was talking animatedly about something from when they’d been kids, gesturing with his hands and laughing at his own story, and Brandon made a concentrated effort to give him the courtesy of his attention.

  “…your brothers set up that baseball diamond in the roundabout, remember? And when they started charging admission, the road crews threatened to file a union complaint.”

  Brandon laughed. He did remember that. Matt had been the one who’d thought of using the blocked-off cul-de-sac for baseball, but it had been Gabe—of course—who’d come up with the idea to take things a step further.

  Had Jacob actually been there?

  If he had, Brandon hadn’t taken much notice of him, and seeing how enthusiastic Jacob was about reminiscing made him feel sort of bad about that now.

  “Are you a Cubs fan?” he asked, seeing as they were talking about baseball.

  “Me?” Jacob laughed, shaking his head in denial. “The only thing I like about sports is the tight pants, and back when we were kids? Mmmm. Some of you neighborhood boys definitely made it worthwhile to watch.”

  Brandon laughed, eyebrows shooting up. “What were we, ten? Twelve?”

  And hadn’t Gabe said that Jacob had to be a few years younger than Brandon was?

  “I’ve always known what I liked,” Jacob said, taking a coy sip from his water glass. “Besides, your brothers were older, and you can’t deny that they were hot.”

  Brandon laughed. “Uh, sure I can. They’re my brothers. I’d go more with things like annoying… pigheaded… troublemaker…”

  “But what about Matt?” Jacob asked innocently, making Brandon laugh again.

  Okay, so Brandon may not remember much about Jacob, but Jacob had clearly known the Byrne boys if he could so easily identify all the stellar traits Brandon has just listed as applying to Gabe.

  Jacob launched into a funny story about a layover he’d been stuck on in Seattle once, and Brandon realized to his surprise that he was actually enjoying himself. Jacob was outgoing and charismatic and funny as heck.

  He really did have a lot in common with Shane.

  Brandon frowned. Shane hadn’t even blinked an eye that afternoon when he’d found out that he’d be taking Jacob out, and Brandon tried to reassure himself that Shane’s lack of interest in his love life wasn’t a death knell for his grand plan to find a way to win Shane’s heart. Like he’d said earlier, he knew it would take some time for Shane to get over Peter. And, despite Shane’s teasing about his impatience when they’d been playing Nintendo, Brandon really was patient when it came to Shane.

  Well, he used to be, anyway.

  He had to admit that having Shane at the apartment was seriously trying that patience when it came to wanting to move things along a little more quickly between them. Shane tempted him in every single way, and his presence there felt so right that it was sometimes hard to remember that they hadn’t always lived together. That Shane wasn’t really a part of his home—a part of his life—the way Brandon wanted him to be.

  He kept looking for things in Shane’s words and actions that he wanted to find; kept fooling himself that he actually saw them. But, objectively he knew he needed to give Shane some space. Even though he would have liked nothing more than to declare himself and do everything in his power to sweep Shane off his feet, he was worried that rushing into something now might ruin the chance to have what he’d always wanted.

  You’re mine now, Shane Allen, he silently mouthed, grinning as he let himself imagine it.

  Shane, finally his in every sense of the word.

  Forever.

  Spending the afternoon playing video games together had been pretty much perfect in Brandon’s book… mostly because of how happy it had made Shane. He’d been sort of radiant once Brandon had pulled out the old N64, filled with the kind of joy that Brandon remembered as being a fundamental part of his personality from back in their youth.

  From before Peter.

  And today? Seeing Shane so happy and free had lifted Brandon’s heart in a way that had made it really hard to keep up the “just friends” routine.

  It had also proven to him once and for all that there was no better feeling than being the one to put that look on Shane’s face. In fact, he’d love nothing more than the chance to do it every day.

  For the rest of his life.

  “And then?” Jacob grinned, leaning across the table. “When the Martians descended in that neon UFO and stole home base, and then impregnated the umpire, wasn’t that a riot?”

  “Totally,” Brandon said absentmindedly, half-noting that Jacob’s eyebrows weren’t as full as Shane’s. The more Brandon looked at him, actually, the less like Shane he really was.

  For one thing, he’d ordered chocolate covered strawberries as some kind of appetizer before their meal. Weird. Brandon could only imagine the look on Shane’s face if Brandon offered him something like that. He laughed at the thought.

  But Shane did like strawberries… was there anything besides chocolate you could dip them in?

  Whip cream?

  Caramel?

  Brandon suddenly noticed that Jacob had stopped talking, and he looked up, meeting Jacob’s nothing-like-Shane’s eyes.

  Jacob smiled at him, taking a sip of the fussy mineral water he’d ordered and then putting it back down carefully. He smoothed an invisible wrinkle from the tablecloth in front of him, then unfolded his napkin, using it to blot his lips.

  Brandon had dropped the conversational ball, hadn’t he? He wasn’t quite sure what they’d been talking about, and he scrambled for something to say that wouldn’t give that fact away.

  “Um, so how long have you worked for the airline?”

  Jacob laughed, but Brandon also noted a tiny flash of hurt in his eyes.

  Shoot, Brandon really had been an ass.

  “You don’t really care about the answer, do you?”

  “Sure, I do.” Brandon did his best to infuse the statement with sincerity. It wasn’t Jacob’s fault that Brandon wasn’t interested, and the guy certainly didn’t deserve his inattention.

  Jacob fiddled with his fork. “Look, I know blind dates always suck. I should have said no the moment Mom mentioned the idea. But maybe you could just pretend to participate? Just for the length of the meal. I’m not going to push you for more than that.”

  “I’m sorry, Jacob,” Brandon said, meaning it. “My mind was wandering. You seem like a great guy—”

  “Just stop,” Jacob said, holding up a hand and laughing. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

  “What, your dates being inexcusably rude?”

  “No. Just… you know. I’m used to not finding anyone. Flying all over the place, you’d think I’d meet a ton of hot guys, right? And I do. But somehow I always seem to go for the ones who are taken, straight, or otherwise un
available.” He paused, then grinned mischievously. “So which one applies to you?”

  Brandon laughed, liking Jacob’s pluck. Liking Jacob, period. Just not… liking-liking him.

  But he definitely wouldn’t mind being friends.

  “Are we playing multiple choice?”

  Brandon’s head jerked up at the sound of his brother’s voice, but Gabe ignored him, grabbing a chair from the empty table next to them and flipping it around backwards as he shoved it up against their table. He straddled it, leaning forward over the chairback to snag one of the strawberries, his attention fixed on Jacob.

  “How ya doing, Little Jakey?” he asked, grinning.

  “What are you doing here, Gabe?” Brandon asked, laughing as the hostess glared in their direction. Tattooed men who wore cargo shorts in the middle of winter and messed with her seating plan were clearly not welcome.

  Gabe shrugged. “I’m meeting some of the guys at a place down the street, but I saw you two lovebirds through the window and thought I’d swing in to say hi first.”

  “So I get two Byrne brothers for the price of one?” Jacob asked, reaching out to wipe a drop of chocolate off Gabe’s lips and then licking it off his finger. Gabe jerked back as if he’d been burned, and Jacob laughed, looking pleased with himself. “Please tell me the gay gene runs in the family.”

  “Sorry, Little Jakey,” Gabe said, holding his hands up as if that would ward off the gay. “Not even a little bit gay-curious here.”

  Jacob rolled his eyes, reaching for his mineral water again. “Oh God. Please don’t call me that. It makes me feel ten years old.”

  Gabe got a devilish glint in his eye. “You were an awfully cute ten-year-old, though… Little Jakey.”

  “You know he’s never going to stop now that you’ve shown a sign of weakness,” Brandon warned Jacob, trying not to laugh at the expression on Jacob’s face.

  “That’s right, Bran-o,” Gabe said, clapping Brandon on the shoulder with a grin. “You should definitely keep dating Little Jakey, just so I can torment him whenever I’m home on leave.”