The Last Time We Kissed

by Ann Roth

  “I think we all realize that,” Nina replied, clearly offended at his tone. “Now, as Dani was trying to explain…” She glanced at Dani. “May I?” The pregnant woman nodded. Nina leaned her tall frame forward and came straight to the point. “Amy’s a miserable mess, Sam, and you’re the only person who can help. You see, she’s in love with you.”

  That couldn’t be true. Amy had said she’d gotten him out of her system. She’d acted no different the night of the recital, in fact had called him controlling. He certainly hadn’t heard from her or seen her. “No she’s not,” he said. “She doesn’t like me at all.”

  “Not true. You’re the only man she wants.”

  For the first time in weeks, hope stirred in his chest. He eyed Nina warily. “And she told you this?”

  “Of course not! She’d never admit to caring for you. She’s too darn stubborn, as hardheaded as…as you, Sam.”

  He frowned. “Me, hardheaded? That’s a crock of—”

  “Will you please just think about it?” Dani interrupted. She shot him a quelling look, and then Gabe and Josh did, too.

  Sam grumbled, then gave up and scratched the back of his neck. “You’re jumping to the insane conclusion that Amy has feelings for me—a totally misguided assumption.”

  “There’s nothing insane or misguided about it,” Nina huffed. “Dani and I know Amy as well as we know ourselves. She does love you, Sam, totally and completely. She’s just confused. Or maybe scared. Or both. And, like I said, too stubborn to admit it.”

  Amy loved him. Or so they said. Sam had seen no evidence of that, but then, he’d never been able to think clearly around her. Truth be told, hadn’t been able to think clearly since that night in her bed. Too stunned to speak, he opened his mouth. Closed it.

  Gabe took over the conversation. “You’re in the same boat, buddy. You’re head-over-heels for Amy. I’d stake my life on that.”

  The last time his friend had spelled out Sam’s feelings, he had angrily denied it. Now he conceded that Gabe just might be right. “Maybe I am,” he admitted glumly. “And maybe Amy has feelings for me, too. But what difference does it make? We’re all wrong for each other, and we both know it. We’ve known it since our divorce a dozen years ago.”

  “That’s where the stubborn part comes in,” Nina said, enunciating slowly as if he were ten years old. “Neither of you will admit that you’ve both changed.”

  “That’s true, buddy,” Josh added. “You’ve come a long way, and from what Nina and Dani tell me, so has Amy.”

  The women nodded.

  “If you love her and she loves you, you owe it to each other to give your relationship a chance,” Nina said. “Otherwise, my wedding—which happens to be coming up a week from Saturday—will be one melancholy event. As a bridesmaid, Amy plays an important part in the ceremony. If she’s unhappy, the whole event will be. I don’t want to start my marriage on a sad note.”

  “And what about the twins?” Dani cupped her belly. “They should know Amy as the lovely, warm woman she’s meant to be, not a person going through the motions of living.”

  “For your own mental health and ours, one of you has to give in.” Gabe pushed a half eaten bowl of peanuts back and forth over the shiny, wooden table. “We figured it should be you, Sam.”

  With all four faces focused intently on him, Sam found it difficult to think. He stared into his untasted beer and considered his friends’ conversation. Like it or not, what they said made sense. Maybe, just maybe, he and Amy had a future together. The thought lifted his spirits the way nothing else could. But he’d been burned badly before. He wasn’t about to rush into anything. He returned his attention to his friends. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Don’t think too long or you and Amy will wind up both miserable and friendless,” Nina commented wryly.

  Chapter Fifteen

  FRESH FROM HIS morning shower, Sam stood before the bathroom mirror to shave early Saturday morning. Even with half his face hidden in lather he looked like hell, with his eyes red from lack of sleep and his mouth at a mournful slant. Unfortunately, he felt even worse than he looked. His friends knew why, had risked his anger in an attempt to point out what Sam in his dejected state had refused to acknowledge: that he loved Amy and that, just maybe, she cared for him.

  They were right about one thing, he conceded as he shaved. He loved her, wanted her and needed her in his life. Should he tell her how he felt, risking rejection and heartbreak? Could he be the husband she needed? Equally important, did he possess the patience and nurturing qualities he needed to be a decent father to their children?

  With each question, the razor slicked over his cheeks, leaving swaths of clean skin in its wake but no answers. He was sick of himself, tired of his in decision and bad mood. On automatic pilot, he rinsed the blade and started on his chin. Damned if he didn’t nick himself. He swore, his voice startlingly loud in the silence. At least he wasn’t bleeding—on the outside, anyway.

  He finished the job in a funk. Nothing could be worse than this miserable state of limbo. He stared at the mirror, and suddenly the words slipped out. “I love her,” he said. “I love Amy Parker.”

  The words resounded in his chest and echoed through the tiled room. And just like that, he made up his mind. It was time to take action, take the chance of a lifetime.

  It was time to tell Amy how he felt.

  The thought both exhilarated and scared him. What if she rejected him? He swallowed hard, imagining the pain. But if there was the slightest chance their friends were right, that Amy loved him, too, they owed it to each other to see where that led. In any case, he couldn’t survive another day without talking to her. This was a risk worth taking, even at the crack of dawn. The decision lifted an invisible weight from his shoulders.

  He knew exactly what to do. He’d bring her here. Except for his family and friends, he’d never brought a woman into his house. For some reason, it was important to show it to Amy.

  Once again, his spirits lifted. He studied his reflection, noting the determination that now brightened his expression. He gave himself a thumbs-up and a grin.

  Whistling, he dressed quickly, slid into the Porsche and sped toward Amy’s place.

  AMY STARED UP AT THE yellow plaster ceiling in her bedroom. It was not quite dawn Saturday morning, and exactly one week before Nina’s wedding. She should have been excited, or at least mildly enthusiastic, about her friend’s marriage. Instead, here she was, as gray as the early morning sky, a colorless ball of misery. Her pity party had nearly ruined Nina’s bachelorette party. She would not let it ruin the wedding. It was time to put an end to the moping, time to come to grips with the truth and move ahead with her life.

  First, the facts. Eyes closed, she reviewed them in her mind. Want to or not, and against her better judgment, she loved Sam. She’d tried to forget him, but it wasn’t happening. He owned her heart, and nothing could change that.

  Those were the facts. Now, what was she going to do about it?

  Tell him.

  A scary idea, for he could easily reject her. At that unbearable thought, Amy hugged her pillow hard against her chest. Yet the notion of sharing her feelings with Sam grabbed hold of her and wouldn’t let go.

  Suddenly she had to see him, right now. Her mind spinning, she sat up and glanced at the clock. It was way too early to wake him up. She’d wait a few hours, then drive to his house and explain how she felt. She would tell Sam she loved him.

  Energized by her decision, she sprang out of bed. After a quick bath, she dressed. She tried to swallow a cup of coffee, but she was too nervous. Forget breakfast. She checked the time again. Exactly half an hour had passed since she’d made her momentous decision. Still too early, but she could wait no longer.

  Car keys in hand she hurried toward her door. As she grabbed the knob, someone knocked. At this hour, who could it be? She frowned, then opened it. Sam. Oh, it was good to see him. Her heart lifted.

  “Sam,” she sa
id. “I was just headed to—”

  “I know it’s early, but can I have an hour of your time?” he interrupted, shifting nervously.

  Despite the anxiety that tightened his shoulders and his jaw, a determined glint flashed in his eyes. Amy decided to hear him out and then share her own thoughts. She gestured him inside.

  He shook his head. “I’d like you to come with me.”

  At this hour? “Where?” she asked, puzzled.

  “I’d rather just show you. Please.” He shuffled his feet over the welcome mat while rubbing the back of his neck, reminding her of a self-conscious boy on his first date. “But if you’d rather not…”

  The uncharacteristic self-doubt intrigued her. “I’ll come.”

  He took her hand and pulled her down the steps. Neither of them spoke on the short drive. Sam trained his gaze on the road, now and then darting nervous glances her way. Amy was on edge, too, and preoccupied with her thoughts. Regardless what he said or did, she would stick to her plan, tell him the truth—that she loved him. Her stomach seemed to turn over on itself. God willing, he wouldn’t reject her.

  He turned into a cul-de-sac of expensive homes on large view lots. She recognized the name of the street—Sam’s street. Why bring her here? He pulled into a winding, wooded drive, driving slowly toward the modern glass-and-cedar home ahead.

  The moment the car rolled to a stop, he turned to her. “I’d like to show you my home,” he said, almost shyly.

  She sensed that this was important to him. It felt important to her, too. Her heart thudded in her chest. “I’d like to see it.”

  He took her on a quick tour of the four-bedroom, custom-designed home, ending in the spacious great room that overlooked a large backyard and the private lake beyond. Standing before a floor-to-ceiling window, she turned to him with wonder. “It’s beautiful, Sam.”

  “Thanks.” Holding his gaze on the sweeping view, he gave a gratified nod.

  Tension radiated from him, making her even more nervous. Was this all, then? Just a tour and silence?

  Unable to stem her curiosity a moment longer she spoke. “Why did you bring me here?”

  At last he looked at her, his expression somber. “My home has always been my private haven, off-limits to all but my family and select friends. But now… The thing is, it’s too big for just one… I’ve been… I can’t… Hell.” Clearing his throat, he rocked back on his heels. “I’m nervous, so bear with me.”

  He was cute when flustered, but Amy wisely refrained from saying so. Besides, her heart was in her throat and she could barely speak. She nodded as in, I’m listening.

  He cleared his throat again. “I may as well just come out and say it.” Cupping her shoulders, he searched her eyes. “I love you, Amy, and I can’t live without you.”

  Stunned, she gaped at him. “Run that by me again.”

  “I love you,” Sam repeated. “I’ve changed, I swear it. Will you give me a chance to prove it?”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Sam, if only you knew. I was on my way here to tell you that I’m in love with you. And to apologize for what I said at the recital. You don’t have to prove a thing. I know you’ve changed.”

  It was his turn to look pleasantly surprised. “Really?”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “We both have. I love you, Sam.”

  His eyes, too, filled. His hands shook as he touched her face. “Then this is one lucky day for both of us.”

  For a long moment, they studied each other with watery smiles. Then Sam sobered. “Do you think you could live here?”

  “You mean, sell my house?”

  He shrugged. “If you’d rather I move in with you, that’s fine by me. I’ll sell this place, instead.”

  Amy knew Sam’s home meant a great deal to him. “You’d do that for me?” she asked.

  “I like your house. Besides, I could live in a shack, just as long as we’re together.” He warmed her with a tender smile. “Will you marry me—again?”

  Amy could hardly believe what she’d heard. She shook her head as if shaking cotton from her ears. “But, I thought you didn’t want marriage.”

  “Like I said, I’ve changed. This time, I want a partner, an equal.”

  Amy hesitated. She wanted to marry him. But what if they fell into the same pattern that had destroyed their marriage before? Her doubts must have shown, for Sam frowned.

  “We’re adults. Let’s get everything out in the open, no holds barred.” He pulled her toward the sofa, and they sat down. He regarded her intently. “Talk to me, Amy.”

  The encouragement in his eyes told her he wanted to hear whatever she had to say, that he would listen without growing defensive or angry. It was wonderful, knowing she could voice her deepest concerns. “What about my career?” she asked, holding her breath despite herself.

  His warm smile put her at ease. “I know how important dance is to you.” Taking her hands, he looked her straight in the eye. “You have my word that I’ll support you every way possible.”

  She believed him. Relief rushed through her. There was one more important topic to discuss. “I want children, hopefully a houseful,” she said, watching his face. “How do you feel about that?”

  He didn’t shy away from her scrutiny. “I’ve been thinking that over. I’ll probably make my share of mistakes, but overall I believe I’ll make a pretty good father.” He grinned. “To tell you the truth, I can’t wait to make babies with you. I see us as a team. We’ll work, support each other and share the child-rearing. With all the love in our home, our children will be the luckiest little people in the world.”

  The words expanded her heart. Amy bit her lip and glanced around the spacious room. “You know, this is a perfect house for children.”

  Sam nodded. “With four bedrooms, it’s big enough.

  The woods and the lake make it a kids’ paradise. It’s a great place to raise a family. Our family, if you want.” He met her gaze with hopeful expectation.

  “I do.” As she cupped Sam’s face between her hands Amy’s eyes filled again. “Yes, Sam, I’ll marry you.”

  He whooped. “All right!”

  Then he kissed her. Heat and warmth flooded her, along with the glorious feeling that she’d just made the best decision of her life.

  When her bones had turned to mush, Sam broke the kiss. He stood, pulling her with him. “I happen to have a drawer full of condoms in my bedroom upstairs….”

  “So you planned this?” she teased, remembering the last time they’d made love.

  “Always be prepared. That’s my motto.” He grinned. “At least until after the wedding. Then I’ll toss the birth control.”

  Side by side, they headed upstairs, where Amy showed Sam just how much she loved him.

  Epilogue

  Eleven months later

  AMY PARKER CUTTER cupped her pregnant belly and stood before her class. “Attention, Pearls, Rubies and Emeralds! Rehearsal for the recital’s finale starts soon. First, though, I have a surprise.” She smiled at Sam, who had just walked through the door with several teenage assistants.

  He returned the smile, and even from thirty feet away, she felt the warmth in his eyes. “Because you’ve all worked so hard on the recital, Mr. Cutter and I thought you deserved a treat. He’s brought milkshakes from Cutter’s.”

  The children shrieked with surprise and excitement, Mariah’s voice loudest of all. Mouth cocked in a grin, Sam and his helpers strode forward. Amy directed the group to line up. Sam paid the assistants and they left. While the kids enjoyed their treat, he hustled Amy into her small office.

  He shut the door, then kissed her soundly. “Hi, you.”

  “Hi,” she returned, unable to tear her eyes from his. How she adored him.

  “How’s the baby this afternoon?”

  “She’s kicking like crazy. I think she’ll be a dancer.”

  “Just like her mama.” Sam patted her belly lovingly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


  ISBN: 978-1-4603-1107-3

  THE LAST TIME WE KISSED

  Copyright © 2004 by Ann Roth.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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