Finding Forever (Meet the McIntyres Book 5)

by Rebecca Barber

  Feeling completely off balance, I forced myself to stand as tall as I could. “Yeah, I was. Problem?”

  “Not at all, sweetheart. Guess it’s only fair.”

  “What’s fair?”

  “I’ve been checking your ass out for a month.”

  Before I had a chance to call him out he backed off, picked up his cue, and moved to the other end of the table. “Blue ball corner pocket.”

  I hoped he had blue balls. I was left over here panting, blood roaring through my ears, while he looked so smug and calm I wanted to shove the pool cue fair up that cute ass. Silently, I fumed as he sunk a few balls, taking his time to make sure I got as many chances as he could orchestrate to see him bent over and waving his sexy ass in the air.

  Then it was my turn.

  He missed a shot and now I was going to make payback my bitch.

  With Connor standing at the opposite end of the table, I leant forward a little more than I needed. Taking my time, I lined up my shot. He mightn’t have been able to see my butt from where he was, but he had a clear shot straight down my shirt and he wasn’t looking away. In fact, I don’t think he even blinked. Slowly, I hit the ball and watched it roll across the felt before dropping into the pocket.

  “N-nice shot.”

  Wally, an old guy who’d been hanging around this pub for longer than I’d been alive, stopped by the table as I chalked my cue. “Better watch this one, Connor. She’s a shark.”

  “Shark, hey?” Connor lent on his cue looking effortlessly sexy.

  “Don’t let that pretty face fool you. She and Spencer used to spend hours in here. This table’s pretty much theirs.”

  And with that it was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over me. “Thanks, mate. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He stunk of stale beer and cigarettes, but he shuffled away, leaving Zoe and I standing there awkwardly. A minute ago, we’d been having fun. Flirting and mucking around. Then Spencer was here. Again. It seemed everywhere I went in this god damn town, Spencer’s ghost was following me.

  “Sucker!”

  “Huh?”

  “I won!” Zoe gloated.

  I hadn’t even seen her last shot. “You cheated!” She probably hadn’t, but I needed to put up some kind of protest.

  “Did not! Someone’s a sore loser.” She bounced around on her toes, clapping and smiling widely. She looked genuinely happy and free. Like all thoughts of responsibilities and worries had been lifted off her shoulders. Even though I was struggling, feeling like I was competing with a shadow, I wasn’t going to voice my own insecurities.

  “Am not! Want another drink?”

  “Nah. We should probably think about heading home. I’m sure Holly’s bored by now.” Zoe’s words held no conviction. It was like she was saying what she thought she was supposed to, even if it wasn’t what she really wanted. I was coming to recognise that was typical Zoe though.

  “No worries. Let’s go.” Reaching out, I took her hand and led her out the door. I don’t know why I did it, but I just needed to touch her. Having her hand in mine calmed me. Well, it calmed most of me. Every breath I took I tasted her perfume on my tongue and it was driving me wild.

  Taking the long way home, Zoe didn’t say anything as I wove my way around the back streets. I wasn’t ready for this night to be over. I know I’d basically forced her into coming out, but we’d had a good time. We’d laughed and talked, and I didn’t want to say good night.

  Parked in her driveway, Zoe must have felt the same. Neither of us moved. Staring straight out the windscreen, I didn’t know what to say. Her fingers were still intertwined with mine, resting on the centre console. The sound of our shallow breaths filled the car.

  “Thanks—”

  “So—” We both spoke at the same time, before bursting out in a fit of laughter.

  We’d been so comfortable at dinner, now everything was just weird. It sucked. Zoe attempted to untangle her fingers from mine, but I wasn’t about to let that happen. Instead, I tugged her close and claimed her mouth, catching us both off guard.

  When I licked the seam of her lips, she opened and gave as good as she got. Letting go of her hand, I buried my hand in her hair, adjusted the angle, and deepened the kiss. With a fistful of my shirt, Zoe pressed against me as much as she could with the gearstick between us. A groan echoed through the cabin and I wasn’t sure if it came from me or her. Either way, it was hot as hell.

  Needing a breath, I pulled back, keeping my forehead resting against hers. The last thing I wanted to do was stop, but my lungs were burning.

  “Zoe,” I puffed.

  I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. The moment her name fell from my lips she yanked away and reached for her bag. Not pausing to think, I jumped out of the car and raced around to her side. There was no way we were ending the night like this. It’d been a rollercoaster already, but I refused to let her run away from me like she’d been burned. Or worse, have Zoe think she’d made a mistake.

  Stepping out of the car, she ignored my hand and wobbled on her heels. They were sexy as hell and I’d had more than one thought about having them digging into my back as I ploughed into her. Her hair was ruffled, and her lips were shining and swollen from my kisses.

  “Please let me pass,” she asked meekly.

  That was not happening. Not on my watch. Closing the door behind her, I pinned her against it with my hips, my aching cock nestled against her stomach. I wanted her to know what she did to me. I needed her to know.

  “Connor…”

  “Zoe! You have a million thoughts bubbling around inside your head right now, and I refuse to let any of them be regrets. That kiss was hot as fuck, and I want nothing more than to do it again. But fucking you in my car in your driveway isn’t going to happen. Not tonight, anyway.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh. For what I have in mind, we need a big bed and more than a couple of stolen minutes.” I knew I was acting like a possessive ass, but I’d had enough. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep playing this game. I fucking hated games. I wanted Zoe and she needed to know that. I wasn’t stopping until she understood exactly what I was after.

  “O-Okay.”

  Hearing her agree, well, having her not argue, snapped the tiny amount of restraint I had left. I attacked her lips like a starving man. She tasted like everything I wanted and everything I knew I shouldn’t.

  I forced myself to pull back before I blew my load and embarrassed myself. “You need to go inside now, Zoe.”

  “O-O-Okay,” she replied breathlessly as she touched her swollen lips with trembling fingers.

  Stepping back, I gave her room to get by. Just enough that she had to brush past me as she did. “Are you coming in?”

  Hell yeah, did I want to. “Not tonight.”

  The look of disappointment that covered of her face almost dropped me to my knees. Grabbing her arm, I turned her to look at me. I wanted no misunderstandings right now. “Zoe, I’m going home to have a very, very cold shower and deal with my situation. You need to go inside and get some sleep, because when we do end up together, you’re going to need to be rested.” I kissed her quickly, dropped my hold, and walked around the other side of my ute. I knew if I stayed that close to her for any longer, all she’d have to do was pout or speak or breathe and I’d cave. And I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want Zoe for a quick roll in the hay. Well, not just that. It sounded like a lot of fun, but I wanted more than that. I’d do whatever it took to get it, even if it meant jerking off in the shower. Again.

  She must have understood what I was doing because she didn’t reply. Instead, she crept towards the house looking miserable. Or disappointed. Or frustrated. Yeah, I was going with frustrated. ’Cause if that’s what it was, then I wasn’t the only one.

  Backing out of the driveway, I headed home. Alone.

  ***

  It’d been two days since Zoe and I had fogged up my windows. Every time I slipped behind the wheel,
not only did I smell her lingering perfume, but when my eyes closed, I was almost certain I could taste her lips.

  Beau had been giving me shit all day. I wanted to deck him. One thing I’d forgotten about being a part of this family…you didn’t have secrets. You couldn’t have between Holly, who’d been peeking out the window when I’d dropped Zoe home, and Payton, who’d trade sugary treats for gossip without being asked.

  For some reason we’d finished early this afternoon and I found myself with time on my hands. I think it was because Beau was keen to get home to his girls, but we’d busted our assess all morning, even skipping our usual morning break, but I didn’t mind. It means we called it a day early, and I had time to myself. I couldn’t remember the last time there wasn’t something that I should’ve been doing.

  Inside, I dug out a chicken from the freezer and set it in the microwave to defrost. I had an idea. First a shower, and then we’d see if I could pull it off. After cleaning up, I tugged on some sweat pants and a hoodie, surprised at how cool it’d turned.

  After throwing the chicken in the oven, I grabbed a can of Coke, forgoing my usual after work beer and flopped onto the couch. Digging my phone from my pocket, I noticed the missed message from Holly. She wasn’t coming home tonight, instead she’d be staying at Jack’s. The first time she’d stayed it was weird. It’d taken a while for me to get used to the idea that Holly was a grown woman now and no longer my little sister who needed protecting. So, as two adults sharing a house, we’d agreed to treat each other like housemates. We were always there if the other needed them, but we kept our noses out of the other person’s business. So far, it was working for us.

  If I was home alone, now was as good as time as any. Besides, I didn’t think I could wait any longer even if I wanted to.

  Connor: What are you doing tomorrow?”

  I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to see Zoe, but I’d forced myself into her life once and lived to tell the tale. I wasn’t sure if I tried it a second time I’d be as lucky.

  Zoe: Probably the same as today.

  Connor: ???

  Zoe: Trying to convince Lachlan to nap. Laundry. Putting on pants.

  Connor: Wanna do something else?

  My mind was still caught on the pants comment. Sneaky minx. She had to know what she was doing dropping that little nugget in there.

  Zoe: What are you offering?

  I literally choked on my Coke. After a minute coughing and spluttering trying to get my breath back, I laughed. I had so many things I wanted to respond with but kept things PG.

  Connor: Can you be at my place at 10?”

  Zoe: Why?

  Connor: Cause I asked you to.

  Zoe: What we doing???

  Connor: It’s a surprise.

  Zoe: I hate surprises.

  Connor: You’ll be fine. Bring Lachlan.

  Zoe: Sure???

  Was I sure I wanted her to bring Lachlan? Things would have been easier if she didn’t, but if I wanted this to be more, then I needed to prove to Zoe that I got it. Lachlan was part of her life and I wanted him to be part of mine. I didn’t want to give her a chance to argue or wriggle her way out of this. Instead, I needed to end this conversation and get organised. If I was going to give myself time off, I had some favours I needed to cash in.

  Connor: Absolutely. See you both at 10.

  After setting plans in motion and enduring as much family teasing as I could handle, I tidied up the house. For some reason this felt like my chance. I wasn’t convinced I’d get more than one, so I had to make it count. That’s why I had a list of contingencies longer than the alphabet.

  Setting the alarm for earlier than normal, I called it a night. That was the issue with living on a farm. There were jobs to do no matter what else was going on. The cows didn’t care if I had a hot date or not. They still demanded to be fed and watered.

  I woke before the alarm. It was a first for a while. Must have been something I ate making my stomach queasy. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I was dressed and out the door. The sun was still a while away, and as I stepped off the veranda I was hit with how calm it was. Zipping up my jacket against the morning chill, I saw a dozen kangaroos scattered across the front yard. It didn’t surprise me. Determined to get my shit done as quick as I could, I headed to the shed, jumped on the four-wheeler, and took off down the track.

  Checking my watch, it was just on eight when Beau’s ute bounced down the road. They were only half an hour late, so I should be happy about it, but instead I was just annoyed.

  “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” I called out over my shoulder as I finished cutting the twine holding the bale of hay together.

  “Ooooh, someone’s on edge this morning.”

  “Probably nervous about his hot date. You know how it is.”

  Spinning around, I came face to face with Beau and Gage, both of whom were looking frustratingly amused with themselves. “What are you doing here?” I asked Gage. Beau was supposed to be here, but I hadn’t called Gage.

  “I heard that I needed to be. Didn’t want to miss this.”

  “You’re assholes.”

  “We know.”

  “Anyway, what do we need to get done so you can go make yourself beautiful?”

  Ignoring their taunts, I focused on the work, handing out assignments quickly. When Jack showed up a few minutes later, he too got a list before we went our separate ways.

  Even though I had other things on my mind, I couldn’t ask them to do the really shitty things I’d been avoiding. It didn’t seem fair. So, I kept the annoying jobs. That tractor was going to be the death of me. On the days we didn’t desperately need it, it started first go. When we did though, the temperamental bastard wouldn’t turn over.

  I was lying on my back underneath it, grease in my hair and oil dripping down my arms when a pair of boots stepped up next to my head. Rolling back on my trolley, I saw Carly hovering over me. This woman was unlike any other. She had short denim cut offs, and a tank top with a leather jacket hanging off her shoulders.

  “Hi Carly.” Pushing to my feet, I wiped my hands on a rag.

  “Morning, Connor. Having a good day?”

  “Actually, no.”

  “Oh, come on. I’ve just put a couple of boxes of goodies inside for you.”

  “Huh?” What the hell was she on about?

  “Payton sent me.” The penny dropped. God forbid I keep anything to myself in this family. I’d asked Payton to send out something yummy and a few bread rolls with Beau. I didn’t need a special delivery. “There’s enough to feed a small army in there.”

  “Would you expect anything different from Payton?”

  “Nah, not really.”

  “Thanks for that. Hey, what time is it?”

  I looked down at my hands. Dark black grease was wedged under my nails and I knew it’d take a week to get them clean. Damn, I hoped Zoe didn’t mind a bit of dirt. There was no way I was going to be able to keep my hands to myself all day.

  “Twenty past nine.”

  “Shit!”

  “What time is Zoe due?”

  “Do I even want to know how you know about this?”

  Carly shrugged. “Probably not. You should probably go get cleaned up, though.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “What do you think? I’m going to go make Gage’s life miserable.”

  “I’m sorry I’m going to miss that.” Really, I wasn’t. For the last couple of years, I’d watched as Carly had twisted Gage so tightly around her finger some days it was hard to see where she ended and Gage began. Even though she was wearing one hell of a diamond on her left hand, she had yet to take his last name. It was something I knew frustrated Gage, but he wasn’t one to push. And truthfully, I wouldn’t want to be the one to try and push Carly either. She could be damn right scary sometimes.

  Dropping the tools I’d been using back in the tool chest, I headed out of the shed. “Have fun with that.”
>
  “You too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Carly reminded me as I crossed the dirt road and went to duck through the back gate.

  At the last minute I turned around and looked over my shoulder, “And what exactly does that rule out?”

  “Not much!” Carly winked before throwing her leg over her bike and tearing up the driveway.

  Inside, I stripped off in the laundry, dumping my dirty clothes in the sink and running through the house in nothing but my underwear.

  “I did not need to see that!” Holly protested, scaring the shit out of me. I didn’t even realise she’d made it home.

  Clutching my chest, I tried to steady my heartbeat. “Shit, Holly! What the hell are you doing scaring me like that?”

  She just cackled that evil laugh I’d heard before. It was funny when it was directed at someone else, but when it was coming my way, turns out…not funny. Not funny at all.

  “I live here, remember?”

  “That can be changed,” I muttered.

  “Go have a shower, Connor. You stink. I’ll organise this food for you. Zoe will be here soon.”

  She wasn’t wrong, and I did need to get my ass in gear, but I couldn’t help but wonder how she knew. I didn’t have the time or the energy to ask though. She was a McIntryre, after all. The family grapevine had only gotten more potent since the family expanded.

  Picking my battles, I did what she said. Zoe would be here soon, and the last thing I wanted to do was give her an excuse to cancel. I’d just stepped foot in the bathroom, when Holly’s voice echoed up the stairs. “Hey Connor?”

  “What?”

  “Just so you know, I’m staying at Jack’s tonight too.”

  “Okay.” It wasn’t until I was shampooing my hair I read between the lines and figured out what Holly was getting at.

  When I stumbled out of my bedroom, still trying to tug on my boots, I could hear voices below me. Bouncing down the stairs, I gave myself a pep talk. Nerves had settled in and I was freaking out.

  “He’s damn adorable, Zoe.”

  “Yeah, he really is.”