Uninhibited

by Melody Grace

  Dex pauses. “They passed before they got a chance to see it,” he says quietly.

  I gasp, regret and sympathy crashing through me. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”

  “You didn’t know,” Dex stops me with a sad smile. “It was a long time ago. Ten years.”

  “What happened?” I ask gently. “I mean, if you don’t mind saying.”

  “It was a car crash, some drunk driver.” He shrugs. “Ash had just turned eighteen, so we were all able to stay together.”

  “You have other siblings, right?” I try to remember what he told me before, but he was vague about his family.

  Dex nods. “A younger sister, and a baby brother, too. Although he’d hit me if he heard me saying that,” he adds with a grin. “We stuck together pretty tight. I guess something like that brings you closer together. We were all we had.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say again, uselessly.

  “It’s OK,” Dex tells me. “Ancient history.”

  I look at him with a new respect as he moves to clean up the kitchen. Growing up without his parents must have been unspeakably hard, but I can see in his eyes that he’s come to terms with his loss. It’s a part of him, and his story, but it doesn’t define his life—at least, not anymore.

  He has a strength and courage I never imagined.

  “So, what do you want to do today?” Dex changes the subject. “I thought we could take a drive, I’ll show you around the area, maybe hit the beach? Get that brain of yours to relax,” he adds with a grin.

  “Sounds good to me,” I reply. Then I remember my hastily-packed bag. “Can we swing by a store? I left in such a hurry, I forgot to bring a bunch of things.” Like shampoo, and face cream, and mascara, and all the other things I need to look halfway human in the mornings. But Dex doesn’t seem to mind my bed-head and bare face. There’s an appreciation in his eyes that’s just as strong as last night, and the way his stare glides over my body as I hop down from the counter makes me feel a new thrill of awareness.

  “I’ll jump in the shower, and then we can head out,” I say, putting my coffee cup in the sink. “I won’t be long.”

  “Take your time,” Dex says as I walk away. “And if you need someone to scrub your back, I’m right here, sweetheart.”

  10.

  The thought of Dex joining me in the huge marble shower waylays me for a while, but soon, I’m clean, dressed in a light print sundress, and strapped into the passenger seat of a low, silver sports car as we pull out of the driveway. I don’t know much about cars, but this one is a beauty: the engine growling low, driving smoother than I’ve ever felt before. Dex hits a couple of buttons, and just like that, the roof slides back and folds over onto itself, leaving us open to the sky with the breeze whipping in my hair.

  “You want to go into town, or hit the open road?” he asks, pausing at the crossroads. I feel a tremor of nerves at the thought of going into Beachwood Bay. What if I run into Hunter and Brit?

  “Open road,” I reply quickly. “If that’s OK?”

  Dex rewards me with a devastating grin. “My kind of lady,” he says, and guns the engine, taking off with a roar. I stifle a squeal and hang on tight as the car speeds down the winding country roads, but after a moment, I start to relax. We may be pushing the speed limit, but Dex stays focused on the road ahead, driving smoothly and totally in control.

  “Do you want some music?” I ask, reaching for the control console. “What do you like?”

  “Whatever you want,” Dex replies, so I find an alt-rock station and settle back, enjoying the lush green woodland speeding past, and the distant glitter of the ocean waves. We fall into a companionable silence, and I realize just how quickly I’ve adjusted to his presence. Sure, there’s a tremor of desire and anticipation that doesn’t fade away, but sitting here beside him, I feel strangely relaxed, as if this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

  I sneak a look over at Dex under the cover of my sunglasses. He’s totally at ease: one hand on the steering wheel, the other arm draped over the open window. He’s wearing dark Ray-Ban shades, and with the black T-shirt stretching over the taut, tattooed muscles of his biceps, he looks good enough to lick.

  Where did that come from?

  He turns his head to look at me, and I glance away, blushing.

  Down, girl.

  A new song comes on the radio, and Dex groans, quickly reaching to change the station.

  “What…?” I start to ask. He looks bashful. “Oh,” I realize, “it’s one of yours.”

  “You don’t know our stuff?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.

  “Sorry.” I feel embarrassed. “I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard a few songs on the radio, but I don’t really keep up with music. I like the oldies. Do you mind if we listen?” I add hesitantly. Dex clearly doesn’t like to hear himself, but I’m curious about his music now.

  Dex looks reluctant, but he switches the station back, and suddenly the car is flooded with the driving sound of guitars and his voice, that irresistible low whiskey drawl.

  I let the music wash over me, powerful and full of surging emotion. I can see it now, how his band became such huge stars. There’s an urgency to the music, and Dex’s voice is like nothing else I’ve heard before. Low and rasping, it’s intimate, heartfelt.

  Sexy as hell.

  I feel a shiver of goosebumps on my skin, imagining what he must look like up on stage with a mic in his hands. No wonder they sold out stadiums and won awards. They’re good. Really good.

  I look over. Dex’s jaw is clenched, and he looks embarrassed, as if I’m flipping through his baby photos and not listening to his biggest achievement. I quickly reach and switch the channel again.

  “Thanks,” he exhales, like he’s been holding his breath with tension.

  “Is it really that bad?” I ask, curious. “I would be so proud, just turning on the radio and hearing myself like that.”

  He gives a rueful smile. “In the beginning, yeah. The first time I heard our song play, I freaked the fuck out. But now…it’s like bad deja vu. I hear the song, and all I can remember is the fucked up shit that was going on behind the scenes. I’m not that guy anymore.”

  There’s a bitterness in his voice: anger, and regret. I remember that I’m not the only one with secrets and shadows I’m hiding. Dex may be playing it casual ever since I arrived, but he’s got demons, too—demons that even a song on the radio can trigger.

  “It’s a shame,” I say quietly.

  He frowns.

  “No, I mean…your music means the world to you, even I can see that. So many people love it, you really touched them.” I remember Lily’s smile lighting up when his song came on in the cafe. “I’m sorry it’s tainted for you now.”

  “Me too.”

  “Maybe one day, you’ll be able to listen to it without remembering the bad times,” I say hopefully.

  Dex’s expression isn’t optimistic, but he gives me a smile all the same. “Maybe.”

  After driving inland for thirty minutes or so, Dex turns off the highway and into the parking lot of a big-box superstore. “This is perfect,” I tell him as we get out of the car. “I don’t need much. Just, you know, girl things.”

  He chuckles. “I don’t get why you all need so much stuff. I swear, my sister hauls around two tons of crap every time she leaves the house.”

  “How else are we supposed to make ourselves pretty for you guys?” I reply, smiling.

  “Bullshit.” Dex grabs my hand, suddenly pulling me against his warm body. “You don’t need a damn thing on that face.” He strokes lightly along my cheekbone, his dark eyes fixed on mine. I shiver, the breath robbed from my lungs. “You’re beautiful.”

  His words echo through me, and I blush. I’ve always gone back and forth about the way I look, just like everyone else, I suppose. Some days, I feel like a mess, and others, I feel like I put myself together OK.

  But seeing Dex’s eyes fixed on me, glittering and dark,
I realize he means it. He thinks I’m beautiful, just the way I am.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling self-conscious.

  He grins, suddenly releasing me. “Of course, you’d be more gorgeous naked, out of that dress.”

  I laugh. His dirty-talk doesn’t shock me so much anymore; in fact, I like it: the teasing banter we’ve developed. “Hmmm, tempting.” I pretend to think about it. “But store security might have something to say about that.” I nod to the middle-aged guy sitting bored by the front entrance.

  “He’d say ‘yes’ in a heartbeat.” Dex dismisses my objection. He takes my hand as we walk inside, lifting it to his lips. “But I’m thinking more a private show. My eyes only.”

  “Well then,” I say archly, threading my fingers through his. “We’ll just have to see about that.”

  Dex stops, and with his hand still holding his, I’m pulled back.

  “You shouldn’t go making promises you don’t intend to keep.” Dex’s voice drops low, that rasping, sexy tone that sends heat spiraling straight to the base of my stomach.

  Lord, we’re in the middle of a store, surrounded by aisles of cereal and shoppers, and he can still turn me on with a single hot look.

  “Who says I won’t be keeping it?” I counter, keeping my gaze fixed on his. I feel a thrill of recklessness, forcing me to hold the stare until he finally drops my hand with a chuckle.

  “Later, darlin’. Go on, get the things you need, before I ravage you right here in the breakfast aisle.”

  The tone of his voice makes it clear it’s not an idle threat. And even though I’m acting way out of character here, even I’m not so bold just yet as to call his bluff on this one.

  “Be right back!” I squeak, turning and scurrying for the pharmacy section, my heartbeat still racing in my chest.

  I grab a basket and fill it with the toiletries I need, my head still spinning. Dex is so unpredictable, I never know what’s coming next: a teasing comment, a heart-stopping compliment, or a smoldering look that turns my insides to jelly. It’s crazy, but I love it—there’s no time for me to think about what I should do or say with him, because by the time my brain catches up, he’s already moved on to the next thrilling thing.

  It’s freeing, not to have to worry about how I seem or act. I couldn’t pretend with him if I tried.

  I’m just me.

  It doesn’t take me long to grab the things I need. Despite our joking, I’m not really a high-maintenance girl, and soon I’m set to go pay. But something makes me stop at the end of the aisle where the condoms are sold.

  I pause.

  I didn’t bring any with me. I’ve been on birth control for years to help stop my painful cramps, but now, with Dex looking at me like that…I look around quickly before darting over. The choice is overwhelming: dozens of different kinds. Ribbed, lubricated, flavored…

  I wish for the hundredth time that I had more experience with sex. I spent so long pining after Hunter, that I never dated the way my friends did: exchanging gossip and scandalous tips over brunch the next morning. I feel like a total virgin. It’s exciting, but nerve-wracking, too.

  I’m about to discover all the things I’ve only dreamed about.

  “Here you are.”

  I hear Dex’s voice beside me and freeze. Oh my god. He takes in the display, then looks back at me, his lips stretching into a broad smile. “Planning ahead? I like a girl who’s prepared.”

  I clear my throat, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. You’re a grown woman who wants to have sex, I scold myself. Buying condoms shouldn’t feel like an embarrassment.

  I force myself to stay cool, and meet his eyes with an even smile. “What do you think? One box or two?”

  His eyes flash with surprise, and I feel a surge of triumph that I’ve finally been the one to shock him.

  “Two,” Dex recovers. “To start. But not those,” he stops me as I lift a packet from the shelf.

  “Why not?”

  He winks at me. “We’ll need the extra-large.”

  My mouth drops open. I hear myself make a garbled noise as Dex smoothly reaches for the packet and tosses it in my basket. My head is spinning all over again, but he places a firm hand on the small of my back, and guides me towards the checkout lines. I stand, silent, as the cashier scans and bags my items.

  Every time I think I have the upper hand with Dex, he goes and proves me wrong.

  We’re just leaving the store when there’s a noise behind us.

  “Excuse me, Dex? I mean, Mr. Callahan?”

  I feel Dex’s body tense beside me. He turns. There are a couple of college co-eds clustered nearby, staring at him with wide-eyed disbelief. “Ohmygod,” one of them squeals, a blonde girl in a tank top and cut-off jeans. “I told you it was him!”

  “We love you,” the other girl gushes, looking like she’s about to bounce right off the floor. “I have all your music, I went to see you in concert last year. You were amazing!”

  “Thanks,” Dex replies. He gives them a smile, but his grip on my hand has tightened. “I appreciate the support.”

  “Can you sign my shirt?” the blonde begs. “Becky, give me that pen.” Her friend passes her a sharpie, and she thrusts it towards Dex—along with her ample chest. “Right here is good.” She points to her breasts, and giggles flirtatiously.

  I blink in shock. Is she serious?

  Dex clears his throat, then reaches to sign his name lower, along her stomach instead. He scrawls his name quickly.

  “Do me, do me!” her friend begs, so Dex signs her shirt too, across the shoulder. The girls gaze at him in total adoration.

  “When will you release a new album?” the blonde asks breathlessly.

  “No time soon,” Dex shrugs. “Look, we’ve got to get going.” He slings a possessive arm around my shoulder. “You girls have a nice day.”

  “Wait!” the blonde calls as we’re walking away. She whispers to her friend, and then hurries over, passing Dex a slip of paper. “It’s our number. Just call, if you wanna, you know, party.” She giggles again. “With both of us.”

  “Sure,” Dex answers curtly. He pulls me away, and the minute we step outside, he crumples up the paper and tosses it in the trash. He strides towards the car so fast, I have to hurry to keep up.

  “I can’t believe she hit on you like that.” I shake my head. “I was standing right there!”

  He shrugs, his posture still tense. “That’s nothing. I’ve seen some crazy shit, girls showing up to my hotel room totally naked, offering to blow me just to get backstage…”

  “Every guy’s dream,” I try to tease him and ease the tension, but Dex shakes his head.

  “It wasn’t like that. Those girls, they’re barely legal. They could be my sister, you know? Watching them debase themselves like that…” He scowls. “They don’t even want me, they just want the story to tell all their friends. Or the tabloids.”

  He reaches the car and wrenches the door open, tossing my shopping bag in the backseat. I can feel the anger radiating off him, a desperate reminder of his past he can’t escape.

  My heart aches for him, a sudden pang.

  I cross around the car, reaching up and quickly pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Dex tenses against me in surprise, but then he slips his arms around my waist and draws me closer, kissing me deeper; a slow, languid kiss that melts the tension from his body and send my senses reeling with bliss.

  I could kiss him forever, and never come up for air.

  Finally, Dex draws back. He stays close, resting his forehead against mine.

  “Thank you,” he whispers. “I needed that.”

  “Anytime,” I murmur, gently stroking his cheek. “You ready to get out of here?”

  “Please.”

  Dex opens the door for me, and I slide back into the car. I’m beginning to see that his famous rock star lifestyle isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. He may have the gorgeous house and the fancy car, and his songs playing on
the radio, but there’s a darker side to fame. I can’t imagine what it’s like having everyone know his name: flocking around like those girls, demanding his attention. No wonder he moved way out here to try and get away from it all.

  “Where now?” I ask, as we pull out of the parking lot. “Back to the house?”

  “It’s up to you.” Dex turns to give me a dangerous smile. “We could go make good on that private show you promised me…”

  My stomach jolts with delicious anticipation.

  “Or, we could take the long way back, stop off for some lunch,” he offers. “Your call.”

  I pause, not sure what to say. My pulse is still racing from kissing him, and a part of me is demanding that I do it again as soon as humanly possible, but the other half is still holding back, nervous.

  Before I can reply, my stomach answers for me, letting out a loud rumble.

  “Oh my god,” I exclaim, embarrassed. “I guess I forgot to eat breakfast.” That plus the fact I was too nervous to do anything but pick at my food last night means that I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.

  Dex chuckles. “Lunch it is.”

  I exhale, almost regretting the choice. But as he turns onto the highway, Dex reaches across and casually rests his right hand on my leg, inches above my knee. He squeezes gently, the heat blazing through my dress.

  “Later,” he murmurs, and I feel his voice everywhere.

  It’s a promise.

  11.

  DEX

  I don’t speak much on the drive back; my head is too full of bad memories and guilt. Girls on the road, girls in LA. I’m ashamed now just how much I took it for granted. The things they’d do just to get close to fame, like my stardom would rub off on them with a kiss, or a touch.

  A dirty, meaningless fuck.

  Sure, it was great starting out. Never mind getting the keys to the candy store, hell, me and the boys ran around like we just inherited the whole freaking factory. We were young, red-blooded men with money to burn, and hot chicks at every turn. We partied hard. Vegas. LA. London. We got a reputation fast, and we earned every minute of it, pushing things to the limit. Me, I was just the same. I’m not proud of the things I did, the girls I screwed, and now, it makes me feel sick to think of them.