Uninhibited

by Melody Grace

  “Dex Callahan, pleasure to meet you guys.” Dex rises to shake his hand, then pauses, looking at Brit with a flash of recognition. “Wait, didn’t I meet you back in the city?”

  “You played my brother’s restaurant,” Brit smiles. “We nearly had to call the fire department, people went so crazy.”

  Dex laughs. “Hey, I’m sorry. My fans can get kind of rowdy.”

  “Don’t be.” Brit gives a mischievous smile. “The numbers were through the roof. I told people it’s your number one hang-out, and now Emerson is booked up solid with people hoping to catch a glimpse.”

  “Glad to be of service,” Dex grins. “I didn’t get to taste the food last time. We’ll have to stop by and check it out, right Alicia?” He has one arm draped around my shoulder, and looks at me with a smile.

  “Right,” I echo, my head spinning. I can feel Hunter’s curious gaze on me, looking from me to Dex and back again.

  I shouldn’t feel so thrown, but I do. This isn’t supposed to be happening. Two worlds are colliding right in front of me, and I can’t think straight.

  “I’m glad we ran into you,” Brit says brightly. She’s wearing one of her own designs, I can tell: a bright poppy-print dress with a swirling skirt. It clashes with the pink streak in her choppy dark hair, but of course, she pulls it off. “We’re having a BBQ this afternoon at the ranch. We wanted to see if you could make it.”

  “I don’t know…” I try and think up an excuse. “We might have plans.”

  “You have to come,” Hunter insists. “Trust me, you don’t want to miss this.”

  “It wouldn’t be the same without you,” Brit adds, giving Hunter a private smile. “Everyone will be there. Juliet and Emerson are coming down, even Lacey and Daniel are coming in from New York.”

  I can’t find a reason why not. “Sure, I guess.” I finally agree. Hunter’s face lights up.

  “Awesome, come by around four. I’ll text the address.”

  “Did you guys want to join us?” Dex offers. “We’ve got plenty of room.”

  “Thanks, but we’re not staying,” Hunter replies. “Just here to pick up some pies for later. But we’ll see you there?”

  I nod, still barely able to speak.

  “Bye.” Brit and Hunter head over to the counter to collect an armful of pie boxes, and then they head out, waving as they go.

  I catch my breath, still feeling weirdly off balance. Dex doesn’t seem to notice though, he pulls my plate over and finishes my food.

  “They seem nice,” he says, mouth full. “Do you not want to go to this BBQ thing?”

  “Maybe,” I shrug, trying to pretend nothing’s wrong. “I just didn’t know if we’d be busy. You know, with other things…”

  Dex chuckles. “It could be fun. I’d like to meet your friends.”

  I don’t reply, gulping down my coffee instead. I can’t think of a good reason not to show up—especially now that Hunter and Brit have invited me in person.

  How can I say, ‘No thanks, I’ve been hopelessly in love with that man for years now?’

  I remember the way Dex acted so jealous at the bar with Garrett the other night. It was cute then, but it would be different now if he knew for sure Hunter was the man I’d been pining over all this time. I don’t want him to know, it seems so foolish, and the last thing I want to do is ruin this relaxed vibe between us.

  “Sure,” I murmur at last. “We can stop by for a little while.”

  I spend the rest of the day with my stomach tied up in knots. We head back to the house and laze around by the pool in the sunshine. Dex has some calls to make, more business issues to figure out with his management, so I lie out, trying to relax as I leaf through a magazine.

  But I don’t see a single word on the page.

  Hunter...

  It all comes rushing back to me, the years of hope and unrequited affection. His face fills my mind, just as golden and handsome as he ever was. I’d managed to forget him, pushing him to the farthest reaches of my memory—drowned out by Dex, and all his reckless, breathless passion. But now, the barriers I’ve put up to keep him out are crumbling.

  My heart feels pulled in a dozen different directions. They couldn’t be more different. Dark and golden, solid and edgy. Hunter always made me feel safe; he’s the solid one, reliable. A real man, striding and easy. But there’s nothing safe about Dex. Every moment we’re together I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to leap into the unknown. It’s thrilling and dangerous, a rush like no other.

  But there’s no point in comparing them, I remind myself sadly. It’s not like I have a choice. Hunter is out of reach, completely, and Dex…

  I don’t know what Dex is to me, what he could be. We made a bargain, nothing more.

  What happens when the week is up?

  I feel a pang. I was fine as long as everything stayed neatly in their different compartments: my feelings for Hunter locked away; and this time with Dex apart from everything else. A bubble, just the two of us. No consequences.

  Now, everything’s whirling in a terrible mess. It should be simple, after the incredible few days Dex and I have shared, but my heart doesn’t pay attention to what makes sense. My feelings for Hunter flood me all over again, the terrible wistful ache, so familiar and so full of regret.

  I’ve spent so long wanting him, I don’t know how to shut it off.

  “Look at you.” Dex’s voice slips through my internal war. He’s strolling out with a couple of cold drinks. “You need some more lotion, you’re turning all pink.”

  “I am?” I sit up, a little dizzy from the sun.

  “Let me do it.” Dex sits behind me on the lounger, straddling the seat. He sets down the drinks, then reaches for my sunblock, squeezing lotion into his palm. “Lean forward.”

  I do as he says, feeling the cool lotion spreading across my skin. Dex massages me slowly, his hands roving across my back, under my bikini straps and around to my stomach.

  “Don’t want to miss a spot,” he murmurs, smoothing down my arms. I feel his lips brush the back of my neck, and I shiver.

  He squeezes more lotion out, and applies it gently to the rest of my torso, taking care over every inch. The stroke of his hands is hypnotic, and already, I feel my nipples tighten under the fabric, my thighs clenching with a low twisting need.

  My body rises to him now of its own accord. No matter what my brain is thinking, he has that power over me. That command.

  Dex pulls me back against him, so I’m lying resting against his chest. His touch turns softer, teasing, the lotion all used up. But still, he keeps stroking, lulling me into a haze, sliding his hand lower beneath the waistband of my bikini briefs.

  I tense.

  My heart is racing, my body rising against his hand, but as I feel his fingers slide lower, I freeze.

  How can I be with Dex like this when I still have Hunter lingering in my thoughts?

  Let Dex chase him out, a voice orders me. That’s why you came here, isn’t it? For his wicked fingers and sinful tongue to blot your unrequited love from your heart.

  I exhale, trying to relax. Dex groans softly against my neck. I can feel his hardness pressing into me now, feel the ragged breath he draws as his fingers slowly, slowly circle me into a knot of pleasure.

  Stardust splinters through me, and suddenly, Hunter is the last thing on my mind.

  Dex increases the pressure, his other hand sliding beneath my bikini top to caress and palm my breasts. The sensation is magic, heat flooding my system and pooling in an aching point between my thighs. I wriggle against his palm, panting now, and he answers my silent plea by sinking his fingers inside me.

  I moan, thrusting my hips up to meet his hand. He slides deeper inside me and pulses his fingers, a soft flutter, but oh how the sparks dazzle through my system. He squeezes my nipple between his thumb and finger, rolling the aching bud until I’m whimpering for more.

  What the hell are you doing, Alicia? Getting off with one g
uy when your heart still aches for someone else.

  You swore you wouldn’t be this girl.

  Guilt crashes through me. I pull away. “Wait,” I gasp, even as my body cries out for him to keep going. “I don’t feel so good…” I scramble to my feet, my head spinning.

  “What’s wrong?” Right away, Dex comes after me. His eyes are dark with concern. “Are you OK?”

  “Yes,” I gulp for air. “I just…All this sun, I’m feeling kind of dizzy.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” Dex touches my arm gently. “Do you need water? Do you want to lie down?”

  “I’m OK, I think.” I feel terrible for lying to him like this. My head is spinning—but from my own screwed up emotions, not the sun. “I just need to go inside.”

  Before I can say another word, Dex lifts me in his arms and carries me into the house. He sets me down gently on the couch. “Don’t move,” he says, going to the kitchen. He pours a glass of water, and holds a towel under the faucet too. Then he’s at my side again, gently pressing the cold compress to my forehead. “Better?”

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I say, embarrassed to have worried him like this. “It was just too much sun. I’m better now.”

  “You rest.” Dex presses his lips to my cheek. His phone starts to ring, but he ignores it. “Do you need anything else?”

  “No, I’m good. Answer that,” I insist.

  He shrugs, hitting to decline the call. “It’s just my manager. He can wait.”

  “I told you, it was just the sun. I’m feeling better already,” I lie. “You talk to Eddy, I’ll just rest here for a minute.”

  “Are you sure?” Dex frowns.

  I force a laugh. “Don’t be silly, I’m not about to faint or anything. See?” I take a long drink of water and smile. Dex’s cellphone rings again. “Go on, talk to him before he has a meltdown.”

  “OK,” Dex agrees, backing away, “But don’t move a muscle. That’s an order!”

  He goes into the office to take the call. I inhale a deep breath, feeling the crushing guilt of lying to him—and thinking about Hunter when I should be wrapped blissfully in Dex’s arms. But I can’t help it, everything is rushing back to me, all the long nights I lay awake imagining Hunter’s lips pressed against me; his body moving over my own. The evening we spent hanging out together, the sweet things he does to show me he cares.

  Cares about you as a friend. When will you wake up and break this hold he has over you?

  I hear Dex’s voice coming from down the hall, chatting on the phone. For a moment, I want to bolt: pack my bag, climb in my car, and drive out of Beachwood Bay as fast as humanly possible. But I know, leaving town today won’t solve a single thing. They’ll just wonder why I’ve left, and I’ll still be trapped in this agony of indecision, back in my own bed instead of here.

  No. I won’t run. I need to face this. I have to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life—and my heart—before any more time passes me by.

  I just don’t know yet what the answer will be.

  28.

  Dex finds me on the terrace when he’s done with his calls.

  “How are you feeling?” he lays a hand gently on my head, stroking my hair as he stands beside my chair.

  “Better,” I tell him. “It was just a little heatstroke. What about you? What have all the calls been about?”

  Dex gives a self-conscious smile. “Well…I’ve been talking it over with Eddy. I’m thinking about maybe getting back in the studio again.”

  “Dex!” I leap up, throwing my arms around him in a hug. For a moment, my own troubles are forgotten, I’m so happy to see that spark in his eyes. “That’s great! When will it happen? What changed your mind?”

  “You did.” Dex sets me down, gazing at me with a quiet look of gladness. “You, and Tegan, and Austin too, I guess. You all reminded me how much music means to me. Trying to shut it out of my life was a stupid mistake. I can’t just walk away.”

  “I’m so happy for you,.” I hold his hand tightly. “I know it’ll be different this time.”

  “I hope so.” Dex takes a deep breath. “I’m laying down the law: I need to do this my way. I’m not even signing back with the label just yet, I’m going to get some songs together, take my time. Maybe even see if the guys want to meet up again. I’m not saying we’ll reunite or anything, but…I miss them. It’s been tough without them.”

  “This is amazing,” I beam, thrilled for him. “Whatever you choose, I know it’ll work out great. You can do this however you want,” I remind him. “It’s not like before.”

  “A part of me still worries I’ll fuck everything up again,” he admits, looking down. “But maybe…Maybe I can do it right this time. Do Connor proud,” he adds in a quiet voice.

  “I’m proud of you,” I tell him softly.

  Dex still looks bashful. “So, you feel up to going out?” he asks, changing the subject. “That BBQ sounds like fun, and it would be good to celebrate.”

  I gulp. “Sure, why not?” I answer weakly. This is such a big decision for him, of course Dex wants to mark the occasion—and I know, deep down, I can’t avoid seeing Hunter for long.

  Maybe this will be good, I tell myself. Hunter and Dex, in the same place. Maybe it’ll make everything clear for me, and I’ll find I’ve been tying myself up in knots for nothing.

  “Let’s go.”

  **

  Hunter’s ranch is just fifteen minutes away, in the country on the other side of town. After I shower and change into a pretty sundress, we hit the road—stopping to pick up some meat for the grill and flowers as a hostess gift for Brit.

  “Such a good guest,” Dex teases me, as we park in the long gravel driveway. It’s already packed with cars. Hunter wasn’t kidding when he said everyone would be there.

  “My mom always told me, you never show up empty-handed.” I feel a flush of guilt. My mom is a stickler for good manners, but even I don’t know the etiquette for going to an event with one man while I’m still torn up inside over another.

  “Remind me to always take you to events.” Dex casually slings one arm over my shoulder as we head over to the ranch house. “I’m trying to imagine the look on my brothers’ faces if I ever showed up with more than a six-pack of beer. They’d probably have a heart attack,” he laughs.

  They’re not the only ones at risk of collapsing. My heart is already racing as we approach the front door. There’s a note tacked up with an arrow pointing around the back of the house, so we follow the sound of music and laughter around to the back- yard.

  The party is already well underway, with a couple of dozen guests hanging out on the lawn. The ranch is nestled in the middle of open country, so there’s a beautiful view to the hills and woods in the distance, bright under the clear blue skies. Beside the main house, there are stables and a big barn, and the paddock where a couple of horses are grazing.

  “This is great,” Dex remarks, looking around. “Does Hunter train the horses himself?”

  I nod. “He inherited the place from his grandfather. He spends part of the time in the city, helping out at the family firm, but he stays out here whenever he can.”

  “I don’t blame him.” Dex deposits our offerings with the rest of the food, overflowing from some picnic tables. He finds a couple of beers, and opens one for me. “It’s the perfect retreat.”

  “I don’t know…” I look around, “I’d miss the ocean, way out here.”

  Dex smiles. “Getting used to the view back at home?” he teases, and with a shiver, I realize that I am. Dex’s beach- house is so perfect; I feel at home there, like I could wake up every morning gazing at that spectacular view.

  And the ocean isn’t too bad either.

  “It’s a pretty big crowd,” Dex remarks, looking around. “Is this some kind of special occasion?”

  “I don’t think so,” I reply, spotting Garrett and a very pregnant Carina across the lawn. I wave, about to go over and say hi, when a piercing whistle cuts through
the chatter.

  We all turn. Hunter and Brit are standing on the back steps, motioning for silence. He’s wearing a crisp white button-down shirt and smart pants, and she’s in a floor-length summer dress. They look way too dressed up for a casual backyard get-together, I note absently, wondering what’s going on.

  “Hey everyone,” Hunter begins, smiling broadly. “We’re really happy you could all make it out on such short notice. I know we were pretty mysterious about this whole thing, but there’s a very special reason we asked you all here today.”

  Brit slips an arm around his waist. She looks beautiful, her dark hair pinned back from her face with a crown of tiny wildflowers. “As you know, we’ve been planning our wedding for a while now, with plenty of, uh, disagreements along the way.”

  There’s laughter, but something in my heart catches. My heart beats faster, a strange feeling of dread washing over me.

  “Well, we were talking the other day, and we asked ourselves what the big deal was about,” Brit continues. “Neither of us really want a big formal occasion, what matters to us is sharing the day with the people we love. Like you guys.”

  Oh God. I stare at them in horror, it all clicking into place. The sudden party, why all of Hunter and Brit’s close friends have flown in from all over the country.

  The flowing white dress.

  “Surprise!” Hunter laughs. “We’re getting married right now!”

  There’s a beat of silence, and then the whole backyard explodes in cheers and celebration. Dex claps along beside me, laughing, but my blood has turned to ice in my veins.

  Hunter’s getting married. Not in a few months, some distant, far-off date. But here, today.

  I watch him and Brit accept congratulations, hugging their guests, full of joy and anticipation. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. Everything is whirling inside me, a storm of confusion and doubt.

  “See?” Dex turns to me with a grin. “Aren’t you glad we came? You wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on this.”

  I nod, still reeling. We’re being directed into the old barn, which has been decorated for the occasion. Bright wildflowers are hanging in bunches from the walls, and folding chairs are set out, forming a central aisle that leads to a makeshift altar with a bridal arch. Blue fabric hangs from the beams overhead, matching the cute cushions set on every chair. It’s colorful and relaxed, homey and beautiful.