Winter Dreams

by Robyn Neeley

  Amanda peered in. The shopping bags were overflowing with beautifully wrapped presents and stuffed animals decorated in red bows. “You did all this shopping this afternoon?”

  “Yep. Tate had the hospital call the toy store and asked them to put certain toys aside for when Mel and I got there to save us some time.”

  Amanda could see a fluffy white beard and a red hat sticking out of one of the bags. “Oh, God. I’m so stupid. That’s why he was thanking Nurse Erin this afternoon.” It was all making sense.

  “Yeah, Erin even let us borrow a Santa suit they use at the hospital for Tate to wear tonight.” He pointed to a shopping bag inside the back seat. “Mel and I picked it up on our way here. That’s why we were running late.”

  “Wow, you’ve all been busy.” She kicked the snow around with her boot. “I wish I could have helped.”

  Brad shut the trunk. “Mandy, can we talk for a minute?”

  She jammed her hands in her jacket pockets. “Sure.”

  “I’m really sorry. I was such a jerk to you two years ago. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. You and your family have shown me nothing but kindness.”

  Amanda could tell his words were as uncomfortable for him to say as they were for her to hear. “It was a long time ago.” She reached for his hand. “You’re family now.”

  “I don’t blame you if you hate me.”

  She took a deep breath. The cold air filled her lungs. “I don’t hate you. Yeah, you broke my heart, but I could never hate you.” She reached for his hand. “You were my first real relationship.”

  They stared at each other in silence. She had thought about this moment for quite some time and the exact words she would use. She would tell him how much he’d hurt her and how she was better off without him. But somehow that rehearsed speech didn’t really matter anymore.

  Instead, she tried the truth. “I was really hurt, but I think deep down inside I always knew we weren’t quite right for each other.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I know.” Having this heart-to-heart with Brad felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “Melanie is great for you. I can see how much you love her.”

  He agreed and then laughed. “Did you know she and Tate made out as youngsters?”

  Of course he would bring the kiss up. He was a guy after all. “Yes. I think everyone in this town knows about their swapping spit at summer camp.”

  Brad laughed. “I guess you never forget your first kiss.”

  “Who was yours?” She decided to lighten the subject and leaned up against his squad car. “Because I know it wasn’t me.”

  He smirked. “Can you keep a secret?”

  “Cross my heart.” She drew a big X across her chest.

  “Brenda. Seventh grade dance.”

  “No way! How did I not know this?” Her eyes widened. “Does Alex know?”

  “No, and let’s not tell him.”

  “Deal.”

  “Friends?” he asked, looking hopeful.

  “Good friends.” She reached out and hugged him. It was nice to literally embrace her past. She could now move on.

  But first.

  “Brad, before we go inside . . .” She smiled mischievously. “I just have one important question.”

  • • •

  Amanda huffed. Of course Brad would give Melanie the edge as the better kisser—she was, after all, the mother of his children. At least he’d said it was very close. That was more than Tate had done.

  She watched Brad take the last bag to the porch. It felt good to have her friend back. It also felt right to be just friends.

  She reached inside her jacket pocket for her phone and called Tate. “Come on. Pick up, pick up.” It went straight to voicemail. Perhaps he was still sleeping. She tried her parents’ house next, but no one answered. For crying out loud. Where was everyone?

  Her heart warmed as she peered inside the trailer’s living room window. Chloe and Danielle were in their pajamas dancing around the Christmas tree with Kristen and Melanie. The little girls were going to have the best Christmas of their young lives thanks to Tate’s incredible generosity. He really should be here to see this. She went back in to join in the merriment and wait for him.

  “Amanda!” Chloe ran over and grabbed her hand. “Mommy says we have to go to bed soon. Will you read us a bedtime story?” she asked, leading her toward the couch.

  “I think I can do that.” Amanda hesitated, looking at Kristen for approval. “If it’s okay with your mother?”

  Kristen nodded. “One story. Then it’s off to bed, you two. Santa won’t come until you are fast asleep. His rule, not mine.”

  “Well, then. We’ll need to hurry.” Amanda took a seat on the battered couch. The girls nestled up to her on both sides. Danielle handed her a small Christmas book while Melanie and Brad stretched out on the carpet next to the tree. Melanie was texting, her fingers flying fast.

  “Thank you, Danielle.” Amanda opened the first page of the worn book and began. “’Twas the night before Christmas . . .” Both girls peered in to see the pictures on the page.

  It only took a few minutes to reach the end. “Let’s say it together girls: ‘and to all a good night.’”

  “And to all a good night,” Chloe and Danielle repeated in their small voices.

  “Read it again!” Chloe ordered.

  Amanda shut the book and set it on the coffee table. The doorbell buzzed. “Saved by the bell.” She chuckled.

  “Who could that be?” Kristen feigned surprise and jumped out of her chair, pulling the living room curtain aside. She turned around with a big smile on her face. “Girls, I think you have a special visitor. Chloe, go open the door.”

  Chloe jumped down from the couch and ran to the door. Danielle was right behind her. Swinging it open, she shrieked in delight, “Santa!”

  “Ho, ho, ho . . . Merry Christmas!” A tall Santa Claus strolled through the door with a shorter elf on his heels. “Are you Chloe?” Santa asked.

  “I am!” Chloe jumped up and down, unable to contain her excitement. “And this is my sister, Danielle! I’m five, and she’s four.” She held out the number five on one hand and four on the other.

  Amanda grinned and leaned back, watching Santa talk with the girls. She noticed that this Santa had piercing blue eyes and walked with a bit of a limp.

  “Hello, Chloe and Danielle. Merry Christmas! Normally, I like to show up while you’re sleeping to drop off your presents, but I wanted to personally thank you both for being good little girls this year.”

  “Santa! Come see our tree.” Chloe grabbed Tate’s hand. “We decorated it just for you.”

  “I would love to.” He grabbed Danielle’s tiny hand with his free one. “Well, look at those beautiful snowflakes. Did you have help making those?” He winked at Kristen.

  As the girls gathered around Tate and the tree, Alex plopped down next to his sister on the couch. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  She tugged on his elf’s hat. “Nice hat.”

  “The chicks seem to like it.” He stretched his arm out and placed it around her shoulder. “At least those under six.”

  “You know, Santa could probably hook you up with a new flannel shirt.” They laughed and watched as Chloe ran into the kitchen to fetch the plate of cookies Amanda had brought.

  “Ooooh, cookies!” Alex chuckled and stood up halfway.

  Amanda pulled him back. “Not so fast. They’re for Santa.” She couldn’t hear what Tate was saying to the girls, but he was showing one of the cookies to Melanie.

  “He better not be telling her Mom’s secret ingredient,” Alex joked.

  Amanda laughed. “I doubt it.” Just then, she locked eyes with Tate. He gave her a wink and continued talking to the girls. Embarrassed, she looked away.

  Alex nudged her. “I saw that wink. Looks like someone’s hooking up with St. Nick tonight.”

  “Shut up.” She swatted him playfully
. “So, when did you two become best buddies, anyway?”

  Alex placed his arm back around her. “Mandy, my dear sister, I think I was wrong about Tate. He’s a pretty decent guy.”

  “And you’re just realizing this now?”

  “We had a long talk on the way over. I understand his intentions perfectly.”

  “His intentions?”

  “Not important.” He tugged her ponytail. “Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.”

  She raised an eyebrow. Her overprotective brother was no longer questioning their relationship but was now fully supportive. What had Tate said to him? Did he fill him in on their charade? What if he told Alex there was nothing to worry about, that they were only pretending to be in a relationship? Would she be humiliated once again on Christmas Eve?

  Her pretty little head was worried.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  It took Amanda a few extra minutes to drive to her parents’ house, humming along to Christmas music all the way. The roads were slick. The rest of the gang, including Tate, had left fifteen minutes earlier and were headed back to the house for another surprise that they were all tight lipped about.

  She finally turned into her parents’ driveway. “Well, what do we have here?”

  On the front lawn, a small crowd had gathered around the now lit Christmas tree in its center. She tapped the break and leaned on the steering wheel. In the crowd, she could just make out Tate and Alex. Were they giving out presents? Tate was still wearing his Santa suit and passing out stuffed animals. She smiled and hit the accelerator gently, driving past them and up the driveway. She wondered where all the extra toys had come from—they hadn’t been in Brad’s car. Did Tate have other secret helpers? She parked the Jeep in the front of the house and went inside.

  “Amanda! You’re back.” Her mother bustled around the kitchen’s island, arranging a vegetable tray. “Want one?” She handed Amanda a carrot.

  “Hi, Mom.” Amanda stripped off her jacket and sat down on a stool.

  “How are the roads?”

  “A little slick. I noticed some ice forming when I turned into the driveway. We may want to salt. What are Tate and Alex doing out there?”

  “Those boys. They’ve been at it for the last half-hour. They’ve been giving out toys to our visitors.”

  “Where did all the toys come from?” Amanda asked.

  “I don’t know. I thought maybe you did. Brenda and Alex tore out of here over an hour ago as I was coming in. I believe Tate was in the truck with Alex,” she said. “Brenda came back alone with her SUV filled with toys.”

  Amanda grabbed another carrot and swirled it around in the ranch dip. That explained why she hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone earlier tonight. She felt a little left out. “How was your day, Mom?”

  “It was nice. Lots of great families this year.” Her mom pulled out the cold sandwich tray that Brenda had bought earlier. “How was yours? Your dad tells me you had dinner at Kristen Bailey’s?”

  “I did. It was really wonderful. Her daughters are precious, and they honestly deserve a nice Christmas.” Amanda watched her mom. She was suddenly feeling sorry for missing the last two years with her family. “Mom, I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “For lots of things. Letting the last two years go by. I don’t have any excuses. I’ve just been . . .” She sighed. “I was being stupid. This weekend has really reminded me how much I love this place and being part of this family.” She hung her head low.

  Her mother came around the kitchen island and squeezed her shoulders. “Dear, we love you and only want what’s best for you. We just wanted to give you your space.”

  “I should have talked to Brad way before this. I mean, he’s family. I let two years go by.”

  “Well, maybe we weren’t with you the last two years, but you were with us.”

  Amanda looked up. She could feel her tears starting to form. “What do you mean? In spirit?”

  “Well, yes, and also in our living room. We watch your newscast on the Internet together. It’s become a tradition.”

  “I’m a Turner tradition?” That was it. There was no stopping the flood of tears rushing down Amanda’s cheeks. She threw her arms around her mother. “I promise I won’t miss another Christmas ever again.”

  Brenda bounced into the kitchen and set the pretty blue box on the kitchen island. “Your gift is ready. Here, take a look.”

  Amanda opened the box and gently pushed aside the silver tissue paper. The tiny rock was in its center. It read, Xmas Dinner. “Oh, Brenda.” She put her hand over her heart.

  “Do you like it?”

  “It’s perfect,” she whispered.

  “What’s this?” Her mother peered over her daughter’s shoulder.

  Amanda flung her arms around her mother. “Thank you, Mom, for having the wonderful tradition of giving gifts before Christmas dinner. Tate is going to love this. I just know it!”

  “That’s wonderful, dear. Can you help me take these sandwiches into the living room? I’m sure your grandmother is starving. She’s been watching A Christmas Carol all afternoon and mumbling about your grandpa paying a visit soon.” She laughed. “We may need to keep her away from the spiked eggnog.”

  “Sure thing. Right behind you.” Amanda reached for the sandwich tray.

  “Actually, let Brenda do that. You should go down and join the boys outside and surprise Tate with his gift.” Reaching over, she brushed a strand of hair out of Amanda’s eyes. “Why don’t you take Tate some cocoa? There are two thermoses next to the sink. You could go down to the sleigh.”

  Amanda’s mouth opened as she watched her mother leave. “Well, that’s a first.” Presents were always opened before Christmas dinner and not a moment sooner. It was just as much a part of a Turner Family Christmas as the mandatory sweaters and the eggnog sugar cookies.

  “What’s a first?” Brenda asked.

  “She just broke a tradition.”

  Amanda took a few minutes to make the cocoa and fill the thermoses. Once done, she grabbed a blanket from the living room. She also found a flashlight that she’d need to show Tate his present. The box with his rock was safely tucked inside the blanket. She headed outside and trudged down the snowy hill.

  A small figure darted in front of her and jumped into the sleigh.

  “Jingles! All right, little one. Move over.” She nudged the dog to the right side and got in. He crawled up into a little ball in her lap.

  Tate and Alex were still giving out gifts about thirty feet away. She smiled. It had only been last night that Tate marveled at all the decorations on the lawn. Now, he was the main attraction.

  Speaking of attraction . . . There was no denying that those little butterflies that didn’t appear when Brad was around her, were inside her stomach now and had multiplied over the last hour.

  She put her hand on the blue box, thinking about the conversation she just had with her mother. She couldn’t believe her family had watched her newscast on Christmas Eve for the past two years. She’d become another Turner family tradition and hadn’t even known it.

  It was chilly outside, but the cocoa warmed her up while she waited. How ironic. This was the very place that two years ago she planned to give her heart for all eternity to one man. Now she hoped to have a new beginning with a different one.

  She watched as Tate and Alex continued to give out gifts. They were singing and laughing with the kids.

  How could she have not realized this sooner? Maybe her grandmother and George from the hospital were right. Not to mention Lacy. If she just opened her eyes, maybe she would see what apparently everyone else who met Tate saw—a generous, kindhearted man.

  She patted the dog on the head. “Jingles, I still don’t understand why he wanted to come home with me so badly. Do you think he’s had feelings for me all this time?” She slowly sipped her cocoa, looking in Tate’s direction.

  • • •

  Ta
te and Alex waved to the last car pulling away from the house. “That was fun,” Tate said. “Thanks, man, for all your help tonight.”

  “No problem. It was cool. Dad loved it, too. He’ll probably make this an annual tradition now. As you saw today, we’re pretty big on traditions around here. You up to wearing that suit again next year?”

  “I’d love it. But I guess it all depends on your sister.”

  “Why’s that?”

  Tate shrugged. The two men started to climb up the hill toward the house. His ankle still hurt, but it was tightly supported in his boot. A dog barked in the darkness.

  “I think your sleigh awaits.” Alex pointed in the direction of the bark.

  Tate’s heart beat fast through the red suit. Amanda waved to them. “How did you know she was in there?”

  Alex shrugged. “She’s been hiding out in that sleigh as long as I can remember. “Nice of you to help us,” he called out.

  “Nice of you to run over my boyfriend,” Amanda shouted back.

  “Come on, Jingles. Here, boy!” He whistled. “Let’s leave these two love birds alone.”

  Tate smiled and followed his heart straight to the sleigh. For a few more hours, she was still his girlfriend. He stepped aside as Jingles flew past him. “I thought that dog would never leave.”

  “Hi, Santa,” she said.

  “May I join you?”

  “I think this might be your sleigh.” She scooted over. Once in, she draped the blanket around his legs so that they were both underneath.

  “Here’s some hot chocolate.” Amanda handed him a thermos. “It should still be hot.”

  He took a sip. “What a night, huh?”

  “Indeed.” She shook her head. “How’s your ankle?”

  “Much better. Almost as good as new.” He leaned back and padded the pillow under his stomach. “Hey, if you wanted to get an exclusive with Santa, I could make it happen,” he teased. “Could get you an Emmy.”

  Amanda smirked and leaned back. “Nah, I’m really cozy right now. Maybe next year.”

  “Why, Ace, is that an invitation to do this again next Christmas?” He noticed her look away. Was she nervous? She was reaching to her side and grabbing something. “Well, I’ll keep the beard on for a few more minutes in case you change your mind on that interview.”