Just a Little Bit Crazy

by T A Ford

  “Right. I get it. Did you at least speak to her?”

  “I tried,” Cue chuckled. “Didn’t go over well. She got up out of here fast the moment I sat down at her booth.”

  Rodney smiled. “Yea, she didn’t fall for the ol’ Cue charm, huh?”

  “Nah, my charm is best left for the betting tables,” Cue mumbled. Rodney smirked but didn’t push Cue to explain.

  “What else man?” Rodney asked.

  “There was something interesting.”

  “Okay?” Rodney asked.

  “Her mind.” Cue tapped his temple. “It’s sharp.”

  “So?” Rodney said.

  “She bought a cup of coffee.” Cue nodded to the cashiers. “The girl mistook her bill for a five instead of a ten. She called the cashier out on it, calculated the tax and money owed to her faster than a computer. And she was right.”

  “Yea,” Rodney shrugged. “She can do numbers. But if you ask her to tell you what she brought home from the grocery store to cook, she’d have to look at a post-it note.”

  “A what?”

  “Look brother, I’ve been taking care of her since our father died. At first it was okay, my mom was solid. But you know my story—”

  “I get it,” Cue said.

  “No. You don’t. She’s all I got. Mental illness is in our family. When she was little, they said she it was autism, and just a few years ago we had another doctor tell us it’s Asperger’s.”

  “That’s not a mental illness,” Cue started to explain.

  “Whatever it is I can deal with it, but she’s getting worse with her anxiety. I got this investment deal going on and I might have to make some moves overseas. I can’t leave her behind, and I can’t put her on a plane. Fuck, TSA almost took me to jail protecting her after one of her crazy anxiety attacks. You can help her Cue. You’re probably my only hope.”

  “Then you have to convince her to see me. I can’t do it in Panera Bread.”

  “You aren’t following me. This is how we do it. Plus, you owe me man,” Rodney said.

  Cue sat back. Rodney was right. Cue’s own dark addictions nearly sent them both to jail, and Rodney saved their lives. He did owe him.

  “Where else can I find her? Does she do anything socially?” Cue asked.

  Rodney went into his pocket and removed a piece of paper. He slid it across the table. Cue picked it up. A detailed schedule had been written for him. He was surprised that Rodney knew so much about his sister’s life.

  “She never breaks routine. Never. This right here is where she shops, this is the job address and the only restaurants she will eat at. She goes to lunch from one to two every day. Oh, this is her hoe address and the only stores where she shops. She likes Publix. Said that Kroger can’t be trusted and WholeFoods is a same with Walmart meat marked up. Don’t ask where she gets it from bro, I don’t know. Socially, there are two places to check for her: the libraries all over this damn city, and that booth seat here in Panera Bread.”

  “How do you know all of this?” Cue frowned.

  “I hired a private investigator to follow her for months. I had to make sure she was good to be on her own. Oh, fuck, wait a second.” Rodney pulled a pen from his satchel and scribbled on the paper. “She likes to take flamenco dancing lessons too. This is the name of the studio.”

  “Say what?” Cue frowned. “She wants to dance like a flamingo?”

  Rodney laughed. “No man, fuck! It’s flamenco dancing. It’s Latin or Spanish or something. She likes it. That’s where you can get close to her. I just thought of it. Got this fine ass instructor named Marissa. Columbian. Don’t go there, though. I fucked her once and she got all weird on me.”

  Cue laughed. He knew Rodney’s love them and leave them attitude had women he called ‘weird’ actually hunting him down with pitchfork and torches.

  “I think you should take a dance class.”

  “Nah, I can’t do that. Men in tights freak me out.”

  Rodney smiled. “I’ve seen them. It’s kind of freaky.”

  Cue shuddered, and they both laughed.

  “She won’t talk to you any other way. Not at the grocery store or library. Why didn’t I think of this before? Stranger danger is the first thing I taught her as a kid. Sign up for some classes and get closer to her so we can figure her head out. Man, I need this. If I got to medicate her or whatever I need to know what I’m facing. And I don’t have much time. Atlanta is dead for me,” Rodney shrugged. “I’m making moves.”

  “I got you. I’ll check in after I register to be a flamingo.”

  Rodney nodded his approval. They both eased out of the booth, and did a fraternal hand grip and half hug.

  Cue stared at Dina Erickson’s schedule and smiled. She was quite interesting.

  Chapter Two

  They Just Don’t Understand

  Dina pulled down the visor and dabbed some gloss on her lips. The reflection of her appearance was quite attractive, according to what men had told her throughout her life, but she never truly believed it was true. She developed early. She had her mother’s body and hair, and her father’s eyes and nose. Her mother’s high cheekbones and lips, but her father’s feet and hands. She was an imperfect mix of the two of them. She liked her face more than her curves. Her face reminded her of her parents. And though her hair was dark, thick and grew longer to the front in natural coils, she always wore headbands to keep it neat and off her brow. She wanted people to see her face, see her parents, as a testament to their memory.

  “You can do this. Go inside and be normal. When Ellie speaks to you, smile. When Tim asks you a question so he can steal your work ideas, don’t give him a long answer. Just answer the question, Dina. One question at a time. When Rafael barks at you, look him in the eye and stand your ground. Not like George Zimmerman. George Zimmerman is a devil who killed an innocent kid named Trayvon. No. Stand your ground like a Michelle Obama, no like Shirly Chisholm. A strong woman. She once said: If they don’t give you a seat at the table bring yourself a folding chair.” Dina smiled. She’d read plenty of books on her hero to quote her life. “Oh, and don’t forget. Don’t trust Dennis. He’s not smarter than you. He pretends to like you but he isn’t. He tells people he’s your work husband but he’s not. A fake. No one is equal to you. No one knows numbers like you do. You’re smart. You’re talented. You’re a good person and you’ve read the Bible forty-six times.”

  Dina smiled at her reflection. Her mother’s eyes stared back at her. She never had to use mascara for her long lashes. They were the deepest shade of brown. “Mama is proud of you. No talking to yourself in front of them, or in the bathroom or the copier room, and never at the elevator. People can walk up and hear you at the elevator. Okay. Say okay. Say it Dina. Say O K A Y.”

  “Okay,” she said to herself.

  Dina opened the door, and gathered up her laptop bag, lunch bag, planner case with sticker books, and purse. She worked from home three days a week. Two days was as much of the office as she could stand. Rodney had gone to Harvard with Rafael. They were fraternity brothers. Rafael got her the job in his firm because she knew the numbers. No one knew the numbers like Dina. She held her head up high and approached the security doors.

  Dina froze.

  Once again, she had forgotten her badge.

  “You can be so stupid sometimes,” she mumbled and headed back to the parking garage. It was then she saw Ellie approach and tried to walk fast in the other direction. She didn’t want to be bothered with a morning chat with Ellie.

  “Dina! Dina is that you? Oh hi!” Ellie waved at her and approached fast.

  “Hi Ellie, forgot my badge, be inside in a few,” Dina said.

  “Oh no hurry. I’ll wait for you.”

  “Darn it.” Dina mumbled. “Why don’t you just go away? With your stupid yellow teeth and green shoes.”

  Lucky for Dina, she was far enough not to be heard by her friendly coworker. But her anxiety was peaking. She feared she could say
something far worse if the pressure to be cordial got too bad. She bit down on her tongue to keep from doing so. And when she returned, she saw Ellie’s wide, yellow-stained grin. There was no avoiding it.

  “How are you? We missed you in the office yesterday,” Ellie said, and touched her arm. The mere brush of Ellie’s fingers made Dina’s innards shrivel. She moved a bit so Ellie’s hand dropped away.

  “Really? Why? I’m fine. Why did you miss me?”

  “Well, Karen’s baby shower was yesterday. We planned for it, remember? Everyone had cake and tea.”

  “Oh, I forgot. Sorry,” Dina shrugged.

  “I was worried you were at home crushed by one of our bosses deadlines. Rafael was on a warpath. Kept us all hopping and dancing to his drumbeat.”

  “He beat a drum?” Dina frowned.

  Ellie laughed. “What? Girl you’re crazy!”

  “I’m not crazy,” Dina mumbled.

  Ellie kept talking. “The data you were working on was good. But Dennis had to finish it, that’s what I heard. Then all the drama went away.”

  “Wait? I don’t understand. What drama?” Dina asked.

  Ellie went through the security door. Dina hurried to badge herself in. When she walked in she was swarmed by workers headed for the elevator. She didn’t see Ellie. She looked left and right and didn’t see her. How did she lose sight of lady chatterbox so quickly?

  “Darn. You’re not focused. Stupid,” she mumbled.

  In the elevator a few people heard her. She glanced to see them staring. She lowered her eyes and waited for the seventeenth floor. Maybe she had heard Ellie wrong. Rodney warned her that her paranoia would be a problem on the job. The elevator doors parted and Dina followed her coworkers out. Tim was in his seat. They were cube mates, or that’s what he called it. She sat in her chair and set her things down in an orderly fashion.

  “Welcome back stranger,” Tim said.

  “Hi Tim,” she said.

  Dina continued to put her things in order. Her desk had been disturbed. She could tell. It set her teeth on edge, she knew Tim had done it to mess with her. He constantly said she suffered from OCD, due to how orderly she was. Clutter was his specialty. Tim turned his chair and stared at her as she arranged her belongings. He was a short man, even when sitting. He couldn’t be any taller than five feet. And his head was large to her. She tried hard not to see him as different, but he was. Everyone had a difference. Tim belonged to the world of little people.

  “You check your email?” he asked.

  “No. Why?”

  “Dennis, he’s with Rafael this morning. For the Briggs account. He came through. Everyone said you missed the mark on this one kid. Not like you at all. Now Dennis is the boss’s favorite. I guess he outdid us both.”

  “Briggs? I sent in Briggs. I uploaded it yesterday to SharePoint. Well, Dennis did for me.”

  Tim shrugged. “Sent it too late.”

  “What do you mean late? I missed nothing.”

  “Word is Dennis saved the account,” Tim said and put his earbuds in.

  Confused, Dina plugged her computer into the network and went straight to her email. What she found confirmed everything that Tim shared. Dennis had not only betrayed her, but he got the ultimate reward, Rafael’s respect. How had he done it? What did she miss? She shot up from her chair and looked around the top of the cubicles. She didn’t see Dennis or Ellie. Dina left the cube-space and went straight to Rafael’s office. The two men could be seen behind the frosted glass of the door deep in conversation. She didn’t bother to knock. Dennis glanced up at her first. Rafael glanced up at her second. Suddenly she found it hard to breathe. It was as if the universe had sucked the air from the room. She’d only taken a few steps from her desk to his door, yet she felt like she was running a marathon.

  “Can I please... speak with you?” she asked her boss.

  “Of course, Dina. Come in. We were just talking about you,” Rafael said.

  Dina glanced to Dennis, who smiled at her. She didn’t smile back. She was tired of being used and disregarded.

  “Before anyone says anything, I want to say something,” she cleared her throat. “Rafael, I am not going to be disrespected anymore. I’m grateful for the job. I appreciate your faith in me. But the minute there is a problem, the faith you have in me is gone. I was asked at the last minute to clean up Tim’s and Dennis’ financial reports. I did. Then I was asked to put together the presentation for Briggs with all the datapoints you needed. Something you should have begun with the product team weeks ago. That is your job. Your job is presenting. My job is numbers. I did it because you are the boss and you take credit for our work. It was never easy. I was never given all the financials, and I had to hunt down the invoices from three different departments because people here keep information on their computers and not in the cloud.” She sighed. “Dennis,” she pointed at her colleague. “He is a jealous, spiteful, mean big man who loves to take credit for everyone’s work. Mine. That presentation was only delayed because of graphics needed for the flowcharts that only I can create. And I got it done for you. I have proof. You can look at the upload timestamp and see when it was placed on the cloud. I only asked Dennis to drop it in your SharePoint folder because you are too lazy to follow your own process. It’s my work. But once again you take the loudest voice in the room and crown that person king. Because in this office there are no queens. I should be the one recognized for Briggs. That is what I have to say.”

  Rafael frowned. He glanced to Dennis, whose eyebrows were raised in amusement.

  “What are you smiling at?!” Dina snapped at her nemesis.

  “That’s enough Dina,” Rafael said. He stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. “You’re right. I should have included you and product sooner, and done my own research before handing over the project. But I didn’t. Because you’re brilliant and I trusted you.”

  Dina smiled.

  Rafael did not. “It’s your lack of impulse control, your inability to build relationships in this office, and your paranoia that makes it hard for me to put you in front of any client.”

  “What? I’m not—”

  “Dennis didn’t take credit for your work. I asked you to come in the office today because you both were going before Nelson to review this PowerPoint and get approval to attend the Briggs account meeting. Dennis is going to deal with the technology cost analysis and you were going to handle all projected profit analysis.”

  “I was?”

  “That’s right Dina, was. Because after this little tantrum I don’t want you anywhere near my clients.”

  “But... I was defending myself. That’s what everyone does, defend themselves. It says it in the books all the time.”

  “What books? What are you talking about? Jesus Christ,” Rafael sighed. “No. You were accusing me and Dennis of being unethical.”

  Dina clenched her hands into fists. She bit down on the sob rising in her throat. She wasn’t going to cry or break. She stood still and faced the criticism.

  “Get Tim up to speed. He’s your partner, and the new face of the market share report. Have him represent the numbers for you.”

  Tim? It was Tim! Her mind screamed. Dennis wasn’t trying to take her work. Tim was! And she’d let her own paranoia convince her otherwise. Tim often asked her questions. Always prodded and poked at her. He knew her fear of failure. She confided her desire to impress Rafael and, by doing so, to impress her brother Rodney. Tim knew she wouldn’t read the entire email. Because she never reads the entire email. Just the beginning and the end. Never the middle part. Tim did it. Tim the bastard!

  “I hired you as a favor to your brother. I promoted you to my team because of your work Dina. How good you are. But you need to mature. When you do, you can get in front of a client like Briggs. Don’t bother coming to the afternoon meeting I scheduled for you. Close the door on your way out.”

  “No,” she said.

  Rafael blinked in surprise.


  “What did you say?” he asked.

  “I said no. I don’t want to sit in a cubicle and talk about Game of Thrones, or fantasy football, or Real Housewives.”

  “What the hell are you—”

  “Let me finish! I’m not here to be your friend. I’m here to work. And I do work. Harder than Tim, harder than Dennis and harder than you, Rafael.”

  “That’s enough,” he warned.

  “You’re right!” Dina said. “You’re right. It’s enough. Let’s see how good Tim is without me. I quit.”

  He said a few other words of protest but she didn’t listen. The truth was none of them would be as successful as they were now without her. She knew Rafael used her. They all did. She may be crazy, but she wasn’t stupid. Dina went to her desk huffing and mumbling to herself.

  “What’s going on?” Tim asked.

  “Go eat an eraser,” she said, and kept shoving her papers in her bag.

  “Eat a what?”

  “Go fly a rooster!” she said as she picked up her favorite pen case and planner. She loved planners. She had seven at work and hundreds at home. She located them all.

  “What happened?” Tim asked.

  “I said, go be a dude, you stooge!” she shouted.

  She looked for her pencil. It was very important. It was from a collection that Rodney had given her for her birthday. Tears sprung to her eyes “Where is it? I know it’s here.”

  “What’s going on?” Ellie arrived with her usual concern.

  “She’s acting weird again,” Tim chuckled.

  “Where is it? Where is it?” she kept repeating, looking for the pencil. A small crowd gathered. Apparently, she was talking loudly. Enough to cause a few heads to peak up above their cubicles. “Where is it, darn it! Dina, find it now.”

  “What is she looking for?” Ellie whispered.

  “A pencil, pen, I don’t know. She’s talking about roosters and stooges,” Tim said.

  His voice, along with Ellie’s, became one: just chatter. Everything looked fuzzy to her as her lungs constricted to the point of making it hard for her to breathe. She stretched her eyes and tried to focus. The tension spread from her eye sockets and the pressure squeezed the top of her head. The cubicle seem to shrink. The ceiling lowered. Soon she would be crushed. She could feel its descent. “You can’t find it Dina!”