The Way to a Woman's Heart

by Christina Jones

  ‘Fabulous flavours, very elaborate – and very, very clever.’

  ‘Oh, Ash, you are soo talented. This tastes absolutely wonderful. I totally l-o-v-e it. Dear Raymond would surely be honoured to have this on offer at the Manoir.’

  ‘And it perfectly complements the starter and the gorgeous frothy pudding.’

  ‘A wedding breakfast fit for royalty. Well done, all of you.’

  Ella, Poll, Ash and Billy beamed at one another. It was OK. It was all over now. There was nothing more they could do.

  ‘Right folks, that’s it from us for this segment of the show.’ Tom wiped his mouth. ‘You’ll have an hour of soaps or something to numb your mind before we’re back on the air. But don’t forget – you only have this hour in which to vote. We’ll be taking your phone calls and texts right here in the studio, then we’ll be back with the results. So start voting – now! And do not go away!’

  ‘Pickin’ a Chicken’ indicated that the ordeal – so far – was once again over.

  While the studio audience were being treated to an hour of ‘light entertainment’, Gabby and Tom shook hands with everyone and the studio manager indicated that the contestants should all wait in the green room.

  ‘I’m going outside for a smoke,’ Billy said. ‘I need some fresh air.’

  ‘Contradiction in terms there, I think.’ Gabby sniffed. ‘No doubt you’ll be joining him, Tom? Just another of your disgusting habits.’

  Ash shook his head, then linked his arms through Ella’s and Poll’s and led them to the green room.

  ‘God, I’m nervous now.’ Poll sighed, collapsing on a sofa. ‘No, no, I couldn’t eat anything. I’ll stick with this iced water. I think it went well, didn’t it?’

  They all nodded, suddenly both physically and emotionally exhausted.

  Iris Freckles and her team, all of whom seemed completely untouched by any of it, piled their plates high with everything the green room had to offer and chatted happily about their vague plans for a seafront Multi-Coloured Snack Shack if they won.

  ‘We don’t care much one way or the other,’ Iris mumbled happily round a cheese and pickle sandwich. ‘We only went in for this to show our hubbies. They’re all plain food, meat and two veg, sort of blokes. They hate our fancy cooking. Laughed at it. So, we thought we’d show them. Didn’t expect to get this far, though, did we, girls?’

  The girls all shook their heads.

  ‘They’re dead proud of us now, and we’ve proved our point, haven’t we, girls?’

  The girls all nodded.

  ‘But surely the money would make such a difference to you?’ Ella frowned. ‘Even if you don’t really want to open a proper restaurant?’

  ‘Money’s always nice, yes, but just between us, we four had a nice little lottery win last year on our syndicate at work – we’re not short of a bob or two.’

  Blimey, Ella thought. Lucky or what? They’re bound to win.

  Ash stood up. ‘Excuse me a sec. Just got to make a quick phone call.’

  As he left the room, Poll and Ella exchanged ‘Onyx’ glances and sighed.

  Iris Freckles reached casually for a vol-au-vent. ‘What about you? What’s your plans?’

  Poll smiled dreamily. ‘If we win we’re going to open a Farmhouse Feast Restaurant in Hideaway Lane.’

  Ella frowned. ‘Are we?’

  ‘We are.’ Poll nodded. ‘I’ve decided. I haven’t even breathed a word of it – you know, tempting fate and all that. But that barn that Billy’s been working on – well, I thought it would be perfect for Ash’s’ restaurant.’

  ‘It would,’ Ella agreed. ‘It would be wonderful. But what about all the rules and regulations?’

  ‘I’ve already spoken to my solicitor, who’s done the necessary checks and he says there’s no problems. Also, access will be easy as there’s a private road behind the farm, and there’s also plenty of room for parking.’

  ‘Blimey.’ Ella blinked. ‘You really have thought this through, haven’t you?’

  Poll nodded proudly. ‘And Ash will run it, of course, and be the main chef, but we can all work there too on and off, and contribute ideas and recipes, and I thought we’d call it Hideaway Home and serve fresh, old-fashioned vegetarian food.’

  ‘Wow. I’m impressed. It all sounds, well, perfect.’

  ‘Oh, it will be.’ Poll leaned over and squeezed her hand.

  ‘If we win…’

  Ella sighed. If they won – the phrase that had haunted them for so long. And for so long it had all seemed a mad faraway dream. Now it was merely inches away – or not…

  ‘Goodness me – it sounds really fantastic.’ Iris started on the first of several cream cakes piled on her plate. ‘I hope you win, then. You really want it. We don’t, but we haven’t told that Gabby-cow that. She’s a bitch.’

  Billy wandered back in then, closely followed by Ash, refused anything to eat and sat beside Poll and held her hand. ‘That Tom’s a nice chap, duck. But he’s a bit, um, odd tonight. Distant. I reckon him and Gabby has had one heck of a row.’

  ‘I expect they always do,’ Poll said. ‘He’s probably used to it. Oh goodness, I wish they’d hurry up. I feel so sick.’

  Ella looked over at Ash. He smiled at her.

  Oh, I don’t care about Onyx any more – just please let him win, Ella prayed to whichever gods were listening.

  Please, please, please…

  The green room door opened and the studio manager nodded at them. ‘OK. We’re ready for you again now.’

  Chapter Forty-two

  Ella had never felt so terrified. Never wanted to win anything so much. Never been so scared of losing in her entire life.

  ‘Come on.’ Ash took her hand. ‘Don’t flake now. You’ve done brilliantly so far. And we’ve had such good fun, and Trixie and her so-called fairies didn’t cause any complications tonight, did they? And there’ve been no news flashes about London hotels being razed to the ground, so we can safely assume Trixie’s behaving herself as she promised – and all this will soon be all over.’

  ‘But what if we don’t win.’

  ‘Then nothing much will have changed, will it? It’ll be disappointing, but everyone gets over disappointments eventually. And we’ll have enjoyed ourselves, learned a lot and had new experiences. It won’t go to waste.’

  She looked down at his hand holding hers and wanted it to stay there for ever. She stroked his fingers. ‘Ash…’

  ‘It’s OK,’ he said, gently removing his hand. ‘We’ll talk about it later.’

  Then the floor manager ushered them all back onstage, and behind their now spotless work stations again, to rapturous applause.

  Oh, sod it, Ella thought miserably, I’ve really, really made a complete idiot of myself now… Oh, come on, Ella, get over yourself and smile!

  ‘Hello again!’ Gabby, changed into shimmering silver, sashayed on to the stage waving to the audience. ‘We’ve come to the most important and exciting part of all our shows! The culmination of weeks and weeks of travelling the country, being welcomed into your homes, cooking and experimenting! And I’m delighted to be able to tell you that the votes have all been counted, the lines have closed, and we have a definite Dewberrys’ Dinner winner!’

  The audience clapped and whooped and cheered.

  ‘But –’ Tom held his hands wide ‘– before we announce that, Gabby and I have something to tell you. Haven’t we, Gabby?’

  ‘We have.’ Gabby stopped smiling. ‘Sadly, this is the last year of Dewberrys’ Dinners. Tonight we’ll be crowning our last ever Dewberrys’ Dinners Winner.’

  The audience gasped and groaned.

  ‘Yes, but it’s not all bad news,’ Gabby continued. ‘Next year, the live cook-in-your-own-home programme is going to be called Gabby’s Gourmets. The format will be very similar to the current show with the same lovely cheque and restaurant deal for the lucky winner, but I shall be going solo.’ She shot a killer look at her husband. ‘Tom is keen to follow hi
s own career off-screen.’

  The audience was completely shell-shocked. No more Gabby and Tom? It was like Ant and Dec splitting up.

  ‘We felt it was only right to tell you this tonight before it breaks in the media,’ Tom said. ‘And definitely before announcing tonight’s winner. Because tonight belongs to them – and we didn’t want to detract from their glory.’

  ‘Sooo.’ Gabby was twinkling professionally again. ‘That’s our news out of the way – now, let’s get down to the really important business of this evening! Announcing this year’s – the final year’s – Dewberrys’ Dinners Winner!’

  The audience whooped some more.

  ‘As you know,’ Tom said, ‘the winner will take away a nice cheque and our people – or rather, Gabby’s people now – will be in touch with their people, to discuss the setting up, initial financing and running of their very own restaurant!’

  The audience screamed with enthusiasm.

  Ella looked at the others. They were very pale. Clearly the news of the demise of Dewberrys’ Dinners came a very poor second to the result of tonight’s show.

  ‘Let’s not keep you in suspense any longer,’ Gabby said, dragging it out. ‘I have the envelope with the number of votes cast right here.’

  The studio grew dark. Roving spotlights criss-crossed over Gabby and the envelope, and Tom and the contestants.

  ‘Tonight’s winner,’ Tom said in a gruff serious voice, ‘is…’

  There was a drum roll. Then silence.

  Oooh, Ella groaned silently, not the damn stupid drawing-it-out-for-the-tension thing again.

  The silence went on and on.

  Gabby stepped forwards and tore the envelope open. More silence.

  Ella’s stomach was in knots and she really, really wanted to scream.

  Gabby glanced down at the envelope and smiled. ‘Hideaway Farm! Congratulations, Poll, Billy, Ella and the sexiest ice-cream man in the universe, Ash!’

  Gabby grabbed Ash and hugged him. Tom hugged everyone.

  Suddenly the studio was filled with dancing golden lights and falling stars and rousing music. The audience were on their feet clapping and cheering.

  Ella was then hugged by Ash, then Poll, then Billy.

  Gabby and Tom were now shaking hands with everyone and talking but she couldn’t hear a word they said.

  Iris Freckles and her girls congratulated them warmly too. Then Tom presented Poll with the cheque and Gabby handed the trophy to Ash, then everyone kissed everyone else’s cheeks.

  Poll was openly weeping in Billy’s arms.

  And still the audience cheered.

  They’d won. Ella tried the words out for size. They’d actually bloody won.

  She really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so ended up doing a little of both as she and Ash grinned stupidly at each other over the huge crystal trophy.

  ‘You’ve got a restaurant,’ she said. ‘You’ve actually got your own restaurant.’

  He nodded. ‘I know… No, that’s not true. I still don’t believe any of this.’

  ‘Press call tomorrow.’ Gabby barged between them, talking very loudly above all the noise, as seemingly hundreds of people crowded on to the stage, more glittery stuff exploded from the roof, and champagne corks popped along with the flashbulbs. ‘At your place. Berkshire. They like you in situ. Already organised. Celebratory five-star meal on the programme makers tonight – Denise and Anthony have all the details – then back to the hotel for more champers for all of you.’

  ‘Well done,’ Tom, looking more like a wildly dishevelled Heathcliff than ever, said gruffly to Ella. ‘I’m so glad you won.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Ella blinked back the tears. ‘I actually can’t take it in.’ She stared out into the auditorium and at the vast audience, who were now noisily unpacking their after-the-show goodie bags of Gabby and Tom cook books and prettily wrapped treats, as if seeing them for the first time. ‘I can’t believe we’ve actually done it. And thank you so much for changing our lives.’

  ‘And thank you for changing mine,’ Tom said, solemnly shaking her hand, then drifting away through the ever-growing crowd.

  Ella stared after him. Why on earth had he said that? Was he more drunk than he admitted? Was he just as shell-shocked as everyone else about the professional Dewberry split? Poor, poor Tom.

  And now she couldn’t see Ash at all. The noisy, laughing crowd had swallowed him up. In fact she couldn’t see anyone she knew.

  Then she blinked. Surely that wasn’t… ?

  Surely that wasn’t Onyx standing in the wings?

  She squinted, then pushed her way through the throng.

  ‘Onyx? Onyx! But Ash said you wouldn’t be here and –’

  ‘Ella! Oh, I’m so happy for you!’ Onyx, in skintight jeans and a very tiny vest and even taller in her killer heels, leaned down and hugged her. ‘Isn’t this just wonderful? And congratulations! You were all totally brilliant! Oh my God, I’m so pleased for you all! Now everything – absolutely everything – is going to be just perfect, isn’t it?’

  Well, no not quite everything, Ella thought, but she kept smiling.

  ‘Yep. Ash’ll have his restaurant, Poll’s got the money she needs to enlarge her home from home for the homeless – although she says we all have to have a share of it too, which is lovely – and she and Billy can come out of the darn closet about being in love.’

  She couldn’t quite bring herself to say, ‘And you and Ash can live happily ever after.’

  She just couldn’t.

  ‘Ash is over there somewhere, talking to Gabby and a million other people, shall I try and find him and tell him you’re here?’

  ‘No, he knows.’

  Of course he does, Ella thought. Silly me. There’d been that phone call that he’d left the green room to make, hadn’t there?

  ‘I’m not here to see Ash anyway.’

  ‘Well, no, hopefully you’re friends with all of us, but surely it’s Ash who you most want to see? Tonight of all nights?’

  ‘Oh, yeah, I’ll congratulate Ash later.’ Onyx smiled gently. ‘But actually, I’m here for him.’

  Ella turned and looked over her shoulder. There was no man in sight. Well, only Tom, who was talking to Iris Freckles. And Onyx couldn’t mean him, could she?

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Tom,’ Onyx sighed dreamily.

  ‘TOM?’ Ella practically screamed the name. ‘TOM! Er, sorry, have I missed something? You – and Tom?’

  ‘Me and Tom.’ Onyx’s huge eyes were dreamy. ‘Lust and love at first sight. Mutual lust and love at first sight.’

  Onyx and Tom? Ella frowned. No way! Surely not…

  It was like someone had torn the middle pages out of a book she was reading and the story now bore no resemblance to the one she’d started.

  Ella shook her head. ‘No, that can’t be right. No, sorry, that’s just wrong on so many levels. You mean, you and Tom have been having an affair? And that even tonight when you have to be with Ash because it’s the biggest night of his entire life, you’re going to go swanning off with Tom? Sorry, Onyx, but –’

  ‘I’m not having an affair with Tom. And why on earth should Ash knowing about it matter to him? And…’

  ‘But, you and Ash? You’ve been a couple for years. And –’

  ‘Whoa!’ Onyx held up her hands. ‘Where the heck did you get that from? Yes, Ash and I have been best friends since uni and shared everything. But not that. We have never, ever been a couple. Yes, he’s completely gorgeous, but he’s not my type any more than I am his. We don’t even slightly fancy one another. We’re friends. Truly, just good friends. Dear God, thinking about sleeping with Ash would be about as incestuous as contemplating sleeping with my brother Jet.’

  Ella, her head swimming, exhaled. ‘Really? No, I can see… Um… OK, right, I might have misunderstood… I might have got it all a bit wrong somewhere along the way.’

  ‘A bit?’ Onyx shrieked with laughter. ‘Only about two hu
ndred and ninety per cent of it!’

  ‘But Tom?’

  ‘Tom Dewberry is a lovely kind man. A lovely kind very unhappy man.’ Onyx smiled gently. ‘And absolutely my type. We met at Hideaway that first time and we talked, and afterwards we texted, and then we met up secretly a few times more and talked a lot more, and we fell in love. End of.’

  ‘Beginning of,’ Ella corrected, still stunned. ‘You said you weren’t having an affair.’

  ‘We’re not. You can call me old-fashioned, but I’ve been brought up by my parents’ strict moral code. Much as I’m madly in lust and love with Tom, I haven’t slept with him. I’d never have a relationship with a married man. Nor could I give Tom an ultimatum. I mean, him and Gabby might be desperately unhappily married, but they’re linked together by more than their wedding vows. The business is huge. I was never going to ask him to give either of them up for me.’

  ‘But now he has?’

  ‘Of his own volition, yes.’ Onyx practically fizzed with happiness. ‘What Gabby didn’t say tonight – but the press will tomorrow – is that the Dewberry partnership split is professional and personal. They’re getting a divorce. He’s divorcing her. And he’s told her about me.’

  ‘Really?’ Ella’s jaw dropped. ‘Ohmigod – and she’s not going to kill you?’

  ‘Couldn’t care less, apparently. Gabby’s not only a cruel-mouthed cow, she’s also a serial cheater. She’s got plenty of Tom-replacements lined up in reserve.’

  Oh, God, Ella thought, Ash was definitely one of them…

  Onyx sighed. ‘She’s been unfaithful to him for years and years. But Tom’s a decent man – and he took her back time after time.’

  ‘But now he hasn’t, er, isn’t? And he’s divorcing the business as well?’

  Onyx nodded. ‘I didn’t – couldn’t and wouldn’t – have asked him to do it. He had to do it because it was what he wanted, not because I was making demands. I had to know that he did it for his own future happiness, not just mine.’

  Blimey. Ella shook her head again. It was all far too intense for her to take in. Then she suddenly grinned. ‘So, the cookery stuff you asked me about – that was to impress Tom?’