Faith Alone

by Terri Ann Johnson

  “Thank you for coming in,” he said as he gestured for us to sit in the worn seats in front of his desk. “I know this is hard for you and your family,” he said looking between John and me.

  He just didn’t know how hard, but I was ready to do it.

  First, I wanted details.

  John must’ve read my mind.

  “Detective Smith, can you provide us with any details on how you found this man?”

  Although there were manila folders on his desk labeled with Brian’s name, he didn’t look through them to answer. I wasn’t sure how many cases he was responsible for, but I was happy to see that Brian was more than a name on a folder.

  “Cameras are everywhere. When the gun went off,” he began, looking at me to see if I’d react. I didn’t. He continued. “It caused the cameras on the light poles to begin taking pictures. That’s the latest technology.”

  Detective Smith leaned back in his chair before continuing. “The woman he was with wasn’t much help. She told us his name, which we got when we ran the fingerprints from a cigarette lighter that he apparently dropped at the scene. She said she didn’t know where he was hiding.” He added. “His mother was more cooperative than she was.”

  His mother; that must’ve been hard.

  Finally, I was able to speak. “When will I be able to see the lineup?” Identifying him was important. Justice needed to be served.

  For a minute, I forgot that John was there. He was respectfully quiet. But his presence gave me strength.

  Detective Smith opened one of the folders and pulled out some pictures. He shook his head. “We don’t do lineups. I have five pictures to show you.” His eyes showed compassion as he continued. I’ll show you the photos, and you let me know if you see the man who shot your husband.”

  As he carefully laid the pictures on the desk, I looked at him in disbelief. I’d wanted to see that man again. I wanted to study him. He became an important part of my life for all the wrong reasons.

  Leaning forward, I studied the pictures; Detective Smith seemed to study me, focusing on my eyes to see if he’d recognize the moment when I saw Brian’s murderer. John turned toward me, ready to assist if needed.

  The pictures of the men resembled each other. But those eyes, those dark, mean eyes. There was no way I could forget them. The man who shot Brian was in picture number three.

  “That’s him.” I said pointing to the picture. “Are you sure, Mrs. Jackson?”

  I didn’t reply at first, I just stared at the picture. I finally answered him. “I’ll never forget his face. What’s next?”

  “I understand. I’ll need you to sign a witness statement, and we’ll formally charge him with the murder of your husband.”

  John and I remained in our chairs waiting for more information.

  “It wasn’t my intent to keep you long today. I’ll personally contact you to let you know if we need anything else and the next steps in the process.”

  This was enough for today. I’d done everything that I could for now.

  As we left Detective Smith’s office and walked down the hallway, a little boy ran up to me. I recognized him as one of the players on Brian’s Boys’ Club football teams, but I didn’t know his name.

  “Miss Lachelle, Miss Lachelle.”

  “Hi. How are you? What are you doing here?”

  Before he could answer, a woman, that I assumed was his mother, walked up to us with tears in her eyes. She told John and me why she was there.

  Could this really be true?

  Chapter 15

  I gave John my address, and he put it in the GPS. The buildings and houses whizzed past as he drove. The sound of my knuckles cracking broke the silence in the car. There were no questions to ask, not much to be said.

  Rest was calling my name. But, I knew I couldn’t rest until I accomplished two things — telling Tracy and Vanessa what happened at the precinct and giving Tracy a piece of my mind for recommending that I go to the cemetery on the day that she assumed John would be there, too.

  After pulling up in front of the house, John paused as if he didn’t know if he would be invited in or if I’d say, ‘Thank you. I’ll see you in another twenty years.’ Weariness reigned supreme, but not rudeness.

  "Are you in a rush?” I asked. “If not, you can come in and really meet my line sister. Tracy’s car is here so you can catch up with her, too.”

  “I know what she’s doing. Tracy’s life is on Facebook.”

  This confirmed one of my reasons for not being on social media.

  After parking behind Tracy’s car, John opened my door; still a gentleman. Looming in the air was the smell of burnt hotdogs.

  “Someone is getting their Fourth of July grilling started early.” John remarked.

  Memories of Brian and our annual Fourth of July cook-outs flashed through my mind.

  “Smells like it.” I responded.

  When I opened the door I was surprised to see my girls sitting together in the living room, getting along without adult supervision; Tracy sprawled out on the couch and Vanessa sitting with her legs curled up on the loveseat. “What took y’all so long? I was about to put out an APB.” She noticed that our hands were empty and asked, “You didn’t bring us anything to eat?”

  Bending down to hug Tracy, John commented. “You look the same as you did in high school.”

  Tracy sat up to receive his hug, then motioned for him to join her.

  I re-introduced him to Vanessa who eye-balled him from head to toe.

  “So what took so long?” Tracy asked for the second time.

  After I got two bottled waters from the fridge and gave one to John, I told them the story: how the detective from the Fifth District station called us.

  “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve met you there.” Tracy leaned forward after asking her question.

  “Nothing went through my head except getting there as fast as I could. I thought we’d see the suspect live, in person. I thought I’d see him through a one-way window.”

  “Line sister, you watch too much Law and Order.” Vanessa chimed in.

  “And for real, Tracy, you don’t want to go there with me right now. I have a bone to pick with you later.”

  Her widened eyes and the forced smile told me she knew exactly what I was referring to.

  “May I continue, please?” I asked but looked at Tracy.

  She didn’t respond but shifted in her seat.

  “After I identified the scumbag, I started seeing this thing wrapped up. Knowing that he was still out there walking around, living his life; I couldn’t take it.”

  “You had a long day.” Vanessa empathized.

  “Soror, you just don’t know the extent of it.” After joining Vanessa on the loveseat, I recounted the story that still shocked me.

  “Miss Lachelle. Miss Lachelle.” A voice in the distance called as John and I walked down the hallway.

  As I turned, I recognized one of boys from Brian’s team

  pushing his way through the crowded hallway.

  “John, wait one second. I know him. I can’t remember his name, but he played on one of Brian’s football teams.”

  A woman rushed up behind the boy and grabbed him just as he was about to hug me around my waist.

  “Come on, baby, let’s go,” the woman who I assumed was

  his mother said, avoiding direct eye contact with me.

  “I want to say hi to Miss Lachelle.” He said breaking away from her and giving me a hug.

  “Hey, baby. What’s your name?”

  “Jawan. I played running back for Coach Brian. My mommy said that…” Jawan began, but his mother snatched him away from me.

  She stepped forward. “Miss Lachelle, I’m sorry about Jawan. They called me down here, and I didn’t have anyone to watch him.”

  A tear fell from her eye, and I asked, “Is there anything I can do? Let’s sit down.”

  Leading her to a few empty seats, John and Jawan followed us.
After sitting down, her reluctance to talk was still evident.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you here?”

  “Ms. Lachelle, this is hard. I’m a single mother of two boys. Jawan is my youngest. I’ve worked two and three jobs to make ends meet.”

  I wanted to be compassionate, but I was tired, really tired.

  Compassion won, and I listened.

  The words tumbled out of her mouth. “They arrested my son for killing your husband.”

  Wait. What?

  I felt myself pulling away, physically and emotionally.

  Compassion turned to shock, as I sat back in my chair.

  John heard her and spoke. “Maybe it’s not the man that you

  identified. Maybe he is one of the ones who looked like him.”

  Please God, let that be so.

  “Can we see a picture of your son?” John asked.

  She pulled out her phone and scrolled to find a photo. I closed my eyes as my heart hammered in the passing seconds. I kept praying that her son was not that man.

  Then, I heard her whisper. “Ms. Lachelle.”

  For a moment, I wanted to keep my eyes closed forever so I wouldn’t have to face what God was already telling me was true.

  When I opened my eyes, her phone screen was right there. With the photo. It was him. For the second time today, I identified the man who had stolen my husband’s life.

  What was I supposed to say now? Was I supposed to be sorry? How was I supposed to feel?

  John touched my back and whispered. “Maybe we should go. This is a conflict.”

  “Ms. Lachelle, he’s right. But, I want you to know that when I saw my son’s face on that TV screen, it broke my heart. I’m a God-fearing woman, and I’ve raised my sons to be the same. A family member called me and confessed to knowing where Jeffrey was staying, and it wasn’t for the reward money. I called because it was the right thing to do.”

  Her voice became stronger.

  “I called because I didn’t want my son to be shot down like a dog in the street.”

  Why was she telling me all of this? I felt like I was in quicksand. I couldn’t move.

  She continued. “I just pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive him.”

  Forgive him.

  John spoke up. “Mrs……?” “My name is Ms. Bryant.”

  He continued. “Ms. Bryant. I don’t think this is the time or place. Lachelle is going through a lot right now, and I’m gonna get her home.”

  “Yeah, I want to go home.” This was enough for one day. “I understand.” Ms. Bryant said. “But, I just hope…”

  “Let’s go.” John took my hand and led me down the hallway. But, there was something I had to do.

  I turned around, and Jawan’s wide brown eyes were looking at me. He seemed to be about ten years old, but the maturity in his eyes said that he knew more than most his age. I hurried back down the hall.

  “God’s got this. Be a good boy and listen to your mother, okay?”

  “Okay.” He sniffled, as if even at his young age, he understood all that was going on, and I could feel that he was torn between his love for his family and his love for Brian.

  I blinked myself back to the present and looking at my friends, I could tell that they couldn’t believe the police station drama that I recounted.

  “It’s a good thing that John was there to witness this because I wouldn’t have believed what you just told us,” Tracy said.

  “I need an adult drink after this,” Vanessa said, pulling herself up off the loveseat. “Tracy, what do you want me to get you?” Before Tracy could respond, Vanessa added, “Lachelle, I’ll get you some Sprite since you can’t drink.”

  I heard crickets.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw John steal a glance at me. He stood up and grabbed his car keys and his cell phone from the coffee table.

  “Yeah, I have an appointment that I almost forgot. So, I’ll leave you, ladies, now.” He stood up and hurried to the door.

  I rushed to him. “John. Wait. Let me thank you for everything you did for me today.” I walked him to his car.

  “You know I got you. Like I told you earlier, you’ve always been on my mind. I’m not sure what brought us together, but I’d like to call it fate. And it seems that fate left you a gift?”

  It was more of a question than a statement. At first, I hesitated. Then I thought about it, he was a pillar of strength for me today. I owed him the truth.

  “Yes, I guess you could say that. But, there’s more to it, as you very well know.”

  “Yeah, let’s talk soon,” he said. He handed me his cell phone. “Would you mind giving me your number?”

  I gave him a small smile as I took his phone from him, tapped in my information and handed it back to him. Now, his smile matched mine, and he promised to call me soon to check on me.

  I was glad that we parted on a good note. Although today was full of it, I just wanted to get through the next six months as drama free as possible.

  Now I had to go back inside and tell Tracy a thing or two about her little surprise.

  Once I crossed the doorstep of my house, Tracy handed me my Sprite in a wine glass. She knew my raised eyebrows meant that I was about to broach something serious.

  “What prompted you to have me go to the cemetery the day you thought John would probably be there?”

  I walked to the couch and sat down; Tracy sat beside me. Vanessa eased into the kitchen hoping to avoid conflict. Tracy spoke from her heart. “Lachelle, you know I love you,

  and I know you. I knew that your hurt wasn’t just from Christian’s death, but there was never any closure with John. I knew you felt abandoned.”

  Abandoned. That word shocked me into silence for a moment. Abandonment seemed to be my life’s theme. My birth parents abandoned me and gave me up for adoption. I thanked God for my adopted parents. They were older, but stable and loving and I prayed they were resting well in heaven. Then, my baby was born quiet. My high school love had left me without a thought — or so I thought. And now Brian was gone.

  Tracy continued. “I didn’t mean any harm. It’s just that I knew you would never agree to see John. You’re stubborn.”

  You’re right about that.

  “Even while mourning Brian, I thought it would help to hear John’s side about what happened during high school. We’ve assumed what happened all these years, but I’ve followed him on Facebook. Something in my gut told me there was more to the story than John just abandoning you.”

  I hugged Tracy and spoke from my heart. “You’re my sister. I was taken aback, and I knew that it wasn’t a coincidence. But, we’re good.”

  “Vanessa we know that you’re listening so come on out. I’ve got something to tell both of you.” Tracy yelled in the direction of the kitchen.

  On cue, Vanessa strolled into the living room while Tracy flipped through her phone.

  “Chicas, how would you like to go to the MGM for a few nights?”

  “When today?” I asked.

  “Well actually I was trying for this weekend, but it didn’t work out. Soooo I was able to pull a few strings and get us a suite there in August before you go back.” Tracy said, ending by looking at Vanessa.

  Although this was a coup since the resort just opened, I wasn’t sure how I felt about going. Would I get sick? Would there be crowds of people?

  “I know what you're thinking.” Tracy told me. “We won’t press you to do more than you feel comfortable doing. If you want to stay in the room with your feet up eating bonbons, that’s fine.”

  Then she got serious. “Let’s do something fun. You need some different surroundings.”

  That was a good point.

  “You’ve convinced me. I’m down to go.”

  “Block out the second weekend in August, ladies because we are going on a staycation.”

  Chapter 16

  Sleepless nights began after Christian died. Once I married Brian, I slept better because h
e gave me the best massages. He’d caress my feet and work his way up to my knees, then my thighs. Thoughts of those times swept back to me.

  “Roll over so that I can ease your back muscles. That’s all you need.”

  With a prompt shift and smile on my face, I was on my stomach. This was the best part of my day.

  Brian’s hands went up and down, side to side as if magically putting each part of my body to sleep.

  By the time he started easing my temples with rotating circles, I was in dreamland.

  “You sleep?” Vanessa asked as she tapped on my bedroom door. Two weeks had passed since we visited Christian.

  “Nope. Come on in.”

  Vanessa wore the cutest and most comfortable pajamas.

  Tonight she wore a pale blue, satin pants set.

  “Aren’t you cold? You have this air conditioning pumping.”

  I wondered why she had on pants.

  “I love getting under the covers and wrapping up. Turn the thermostat to what you like. I’m good.”

  She returned to my room after adjusting the temperature in the hallway.

  “I think I’m gonna stay in here with you tonight. Since you have trouble getting to sleep, I thought we’d talk and watch a movie until we both are knocked out.”

  My arched eyebrows asked ‘Really?’

  “You’re gonna miss me when I have to leave.”

  She sat yoga style at the top of the bed, leaning against the headboard.

  “Remember when we had to sneak into the dorm during freshman year after going to see the Go-Go bands?” she said while grabbing the remote control from the nightstand.

  I had to remind her, “That was you. Always in trouble, trying to pull me in with you.” “But we had fun.”

  Curling up on the other side of the bed must’ve felt good to Vanessa. Within twenty minutes of watching Baby Boy for the hundredth time, she was knocked out, sleep and snoring. As hard as it was for me to get to sleep, there was no way I‘d even get four hours messing with this girl.

  “Vanessa. Wake up.”

  She moaned and rolled over with her back to me.

  “Hey,” I shoved the back of her left shoulder to get her to wake up.

  “What?” she asked snapping her neck back to look at me. “Go in your room. I’d like to get a few hours of sleep.” “You a trip.”