Go Your Own Way (The Swingtown Series Book 3)
Page 5
“Camille.”
Feeling sick to my stomach, I step out of his embrace clenching my abdomen. There is no way this is happening to me again. I know that name all too well. It’s the one Camden called me time and time again in his sleep. My only question is, how does Hayden know her and how the hell does a ghost keep interfering with my life! Throwing my hand up to my mouth, I can feel this mornings breakfast rising and I run to the bathroom kneeling down hanging my head in the toilet. Emptying the contents in it, I feel cool hands pull my hair back, removing it from my face.
“Are you okay?” Hayden asks, sitting behind me still holding on to my hair.
“Honestly? No.” I mumble out before hurling some more into the toilet, unsure of how I even have anything left to come out. My stomach finally settles and I sit back resting my head against his chest. “Why does this keep happening to me?”
“The vomiting?” Smacking his leg, I close the lid to the toilet and use it as an anchor to stand. “Right. Rhetorical question. Listen, I don’t know what has happened with you and Camden and frankly it’s none of my business. I can tell you, the more we’re up here, the more annoyed he’s going to be. So let’s head downstairs and clear the air.” Grabbing my hand, he squeezes it for assurance as we go to talk to Camden.
Descending down each stair feels like I’m plummeting to my death. I’m not sure what all this means for any of us. I can tell I crossed a line with Camden, I’m just not sure as to what it is. As for Hayden, I already feel such a deep connection with him it’s a bit terrifying. I had planned on spending the rest of my life single, but one night with Hayden made me rethink that thought. I could see a future with him, a great one, and that is fucking scaring the shit out of me.
Camden is sitting at the dining room table and Hayden pulls the chair out across from him for me to take. Once I’m seated he pushes it in and takes the empty seat beside me. Camden doesn’t notice, but once again, Hayden grabs my hand under the table giving me hope that what we had isn’t lost forever. The butterflies in my stomach are making my anxiety go through the roof and I can’t keep my knee from bouncing. The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife and the silence is deafening. Just as I’m about to break it, Camden beats me to it.
“You killed her!”
“Are you serious! You’re still going to blame me for her death!” Oh, here we go. Just where I want to be. Dead center of a lovers quarrel.
“She was my fiancée!” Camden spats before turning away.
“And she was my sister, goddammit!” Hayden slams his fist down on the table seething in anger, causing me to flinch. Wait, did he just say his sister?
“Your Sister?” My voice is hoarse but I’m still confused how my two worlds collided. “Can someone please start from the beginning?” They both sit there avoiding eye contact like petulant children only annoying me more. Narrowing my eyes I look between the both of them and tap the table making sure my point gets across. “Someone, I don’t care who, but someone is going to tell me how the hell you know each other and what the hell happened. No one is leaving this table until I get answers. I suggest one of you start talking before I start beating answers out of you.” Camden’s eyes widen and Hayden grins devilishly.
“We were all stationed together when Camille died,” Camden says.
“I was one of the medics at their fob and your ex seems to think that I let my sister die.” Rolling his eyes causes Camden to throw his head back and chuckle.
“Didn’t you?” Camden shouts to Hayden. Sitting here, I can see this is going nowhere fast.
“Alright enough!” Pinching the bridge of my nose I can’t even believe I’m the mediator in this situation right now. “Both of you are acting like my kids and the last I knew, they were across the street.” Throwing my hands up in the air, I shake my head at them both. “Clearly there are some ill feelings towards each other. I understand you both lost someone you love. But placing the blame on each other isn’t going to help either one of you move on.”
“I’ve moved on.” Hayden chimes in.
“Clearly. Right into my wife.” Camden snarls clamping his fist on the table.
“Watch yourself,” Hayden adds moving his chair back getting reading to jump up. Squeezing his leg, I encourage him to stay in his seat.
“Ex.” I correct.
Looking to Hayden I give him an assuring smile. “Would you mind waiting outside for a minute?”
“Are you sure?” His eyes search mine for any signs of uncertainty, not wanting to leave me.
“Positive. There’s a lot that Camden and I have to discuss and I think it will be a lot easier without his past sitting here staring him in the face.” He flinches at my words but I can tell he understands I don’t mean to hurt him. I’m trying to diffuse the situation and move on.
“I’ll be right out front if you need me.” He kisses me on my cheek before getting up and walking out the front door. As soon as I hear the door close, I turn to Camden. He is staring out the bay window across the street. Our kids are running across the street chasing each other around with water guns, laughing, having a great time.
“Where did we go wrong?” He sighs.
Moving my chair closer to his, I grab his hand in mine. “We didn’t go wrong we just grew apart.”
“I’m sorry I acted like such an asshole earlier. I think if it was anyone but him in our bed I would have handled it differently.” I raise my eyebrows at him and we both laugh. “Okay, maybe I wouldn’t have. God, Julie. I’ve just loved you for the past six years. I don’t know where to go from here. It’s fucking scary.”
“I know it is. But you aren’t in love with me Camden. And I think deep down, even though you might not want to admit it, you know that. And that’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” His voice sounds defeated and I know he’s finally come to the realization that I’ve been right this whole time.
“Yes, it is. I’ve come to peace with it and so should you. We both got caught up in something that wasn’t real. We both owe it to ourselves to find someone who makes it impossible to breathe without. You’re a great man Camden and one day, maybe sooner than you think, you will find that special woman who will help you move past Camille. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t her. I’m sorry because I really wanted to be her and I feel like I let you down.”
“Please don’t apologize for my shortcomings. I should have seen someone. Talked to someone to help me through my grief and I didn’t. I thought I could just find someone to love and it would make all the hurt go away. I swear to you Julie, I had no idea all the hurt I was causing you. I had no idea I was calling you her name at night. I would have never let this go on for so long had I known.” I place my finger on his lips.
“I know. There’s no point in rehashing what’s done. All we can do is move forward and be the best parents we can be for our kids.” He nods. I figure now is as good of time as any to address Hayden. “You know, you really were hard on Hayden. Before you start, I’m not taking sides but what you said was cruel. Do you really think he would want his sister to die? That’s a horrible thing to say.”
“I know. I just have so much grief built up inside and every time I look for someone to blame it always falls on him. If he was just a little quicker with the last person maybe he could have saved her. I know it was hard on him. He didn’t re-enlist after and left. I never heard from him after either, which is another reason why I had so much built up anger. I felt like my brother abandoned me.” He shrugs.
“Well don’t you think you should be telling him this instead of me?” I nudge him in his seat.
“Why couldn’t you have been the one?” He kisses the back of my hand before standing up and I smile at him.
“Because, there’s obviously someone better than me out there. And if you ever tell anyone I said that I’ll come beat you with my flogger.” I stand and give him a hug before walking him out the door.
Chapter 8
Three Mont
hs Later
Things have been better than good since the day shit hit the fan in my house. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I truly feel that Hayden was brought into my life for a reason.
We tried to take things slow, but it just wasn’t possible. The way our souls connected and our bodies craved each other when we were apart made it impossible. The biggest surprise was how fast my kids took to him. He was not shy about being involved with them and made sure to include them in everything we did.
It took a while for Camden to come around to the idea of having Hayden around again, but with the help of therapy, he’s been able to get past it and move on. They even make small talk when they are around each other instead of having the uncomfortable silence that they used to have. That was the worst. Camden even has a new girlfriend who I think is the one for him. I won’t say anything though; I don’t want to scare him off. But he looks at her in a way he never did to me, the way Hayden looks at me. In a way, I’m thankful for her, because she may not know it yet, but she’s saving him. I’m seeing a whole different side of Camden that I’ve never seen before. Hayden had mentioned how he’s starting to see the old Camden come out of his shell, whoever that is.
It wasn’t long before we decided to elope. The only people who know we’re married are the kids, Camden and the Arrington’s for payroll purposes. We are trying to stay in our blissful bubble for as long as we can before everyone starts bombarding us with the how’s and when’s and why they weren’t invited. That didn’t stop Klaus and Hayley from getting us a wedding gift. They made sure to restock our toys and although it was a kind gesture, I didn’t have the heart to tell them we wasted no time stocking up after we hooked up. There’s only so many time you can use the kitchen utensils.
I didn’t think I wanted to get married again but the second time around is definitely more suiting for me. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon phase and that’s okay because as long as we’re happy, fulfill each other’s needs, and love unconditionally that’s all that matters.
Other Book By Jaime Whitley
Twist of Fate
The Salvation Series:
Dante’s Redemption
Ava’s Revenge
Killian’s Repentance
The Swingtown Series:
Levels
The Things We Do For Love
Go Your Own Way
Coming Soon
On The Line
Killian’s Repentance
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
(Untitled)
(Untitled)
(Untitled)
(Untitled)
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
(Untitled)