B-ry: A Steel Paragons MC Novel (The Coast: Book 4)

by Eve R. Hart

  At first thought, I would have said it might have been my father that he could have been talking about. Sure my family made a lot of people mad. For stupid reason sometimes too. Like the fact that we had wealth. However, that didn’t really make sense seeing as I’d been cut off from my family.

  That led me down a path of wondering what would happen if my dad found out I had been kidnapped. Would he be sad? Would he do everything in his power to get me back? Would he shrug and turn the other way?

  I didn’t even have to imagine what my mother would do. Deep down, I knew she had already washed her hands of me.

  I couldn’t stop the tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I would like to have said that this was the first time that I had broken down and cried, but it wasn’t. It probably wasn’t even the tenth. I hated that I had let myself crack so many times here in this stupid, dirty cage.

  I curled up on the bed and willed myself to sleep, praying that he would just leave.

  I woke to an empty room. My hips ached. My calves were cramping. My knees burned from being bent all night. There was a crick in my neck and my hands were numb from using them as a pillow for so long. But I was alone. I didn’t have his dirty, creepy eyes on me and I felt like I could breathe for a second.

  All the negativity seeped in then. There was no one looking for me. I’d been a pretty crappy person and admitting that did me no good right now. It wasn’t like I could deny it though or push the thought away. I had the people I worked with but we didn’t really hang out or call one another. We didn’t make plans to do things that weren’t work-related. Maybe if I had tried harder. Let my guard down a little more. I was sure that to them I must have still seemed like some stuck-up princess.

  Thinking that only made me think of Bryan. He wasn’t far off at all the first time he had met me. Back when I had it all. The car. The family money. The huge ring on my finger and the easy future ahead of me. One where I didn’t have to worry about anything. I was the pampered princess. And now I had fallen so hard.

  There was no sense in dwelling on all that right this moment.

  But Bryan.

  Sweet, gruff Bryan. The odd mix that made a perfect man. The one that I had lost.

  I was so stupid and I knew that eventually I would push far enough for him to snap. To be fair, that hadn’t been my intention that night. I had been confused for so long. I had convinced myself that he didn’t care about me because how could he? I was just something to conquer. To play with. To pity. Right?

  Perhaps I had been wrong all along.

  Maybe those moments when I saw a softness flash in his eyes wasn’t just me wishing that I had seen something there. Could it have been real? I wanted it to be.

  Only wanting hadn’t gotten me anywhere lately.

  It didn’t matter now because it was clear that night. He had made his decision to cut me loose and I didn’t take him as the kind of person that wouldn’t hold true to something once he had it in his mind. It was set in stone. And I had been left behind.

  I missed him and I feared I would never be able to tell him how I really felt. I would never be able to thank him for everything he did for me. I would never feel his strong arms around me again.

  Those arms, they made me feel so safe and warm. I wished more than anything I could be wrapped in them just one more time. And have his low voice in my ear, whispering things that made me blush and feel like a queen all at the same time. Those words that I had just realized weren’t meaningless. They weren’t simply things he had said to get me out of my clothes.

  I swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay because I had been hit with a hard dose of reality. Whether or not he meant the things he had said to me, well, I would never know. Because there was no way out of this that I could see.

  How much more of this could I take?

  How long was I going to be here?

  The time trickled on so slow. There was a sliver of light that came in from the top of the curtain that covered the only window in the room. I had no idea where I was or if there was anything around. Once, I thought about screaming but then I feared what would happen if I did. I knew that he would get to me before anyone outside would. If there was even someone around to hear me, that was.

  One time I heard a lawnmower and it gave me a little spark of hope. But the fact that my captor stayed out of the room the whole time it was running made me think that it was just him taking care of the yard. I thought it was strange. Some of the things he did. Like if that had been him cutting the grass, he must have not been so crazy, maybe. He did mundane things. Even though this room wasn’t the cleanest, I had heard him moving about the house cleaning before.

  I tried my hardest not to think of that man all that much. He made my skin crawl when he was in the room with me. But when he left, I was always on edge wondering when he was going to come back. I didn’t know why he took me and his words earlier confused me even more.

  More days passed. I counted them thanks to that space above the window that allowed me to see when the sun rose and fell each day. I wondered if I would be here long enough to lose track of time. If one morning I would just wake up and forget what day I was on.

  “Why am I here?” I asked boldly one day.

  He was sitting there sharpening a knife and I suddenly thought that maybe I had picked the wrong time to grow a backbone.

  His eyes cut up to look at me, but he said nothing.

  “If it’s money you want, I’m sure you are not going to get it. In case you are not aware, I haven’t spoken to my family in months and I am currently very much broke.”

  “Fuck your money,” he said and there was a cold edge to his tone. “I don’t want money. This isn’t about fucking money!”

  He was starting to get mad. I guess I hadn’t really thought of what kind of reaction I was going to get. Then again, I hadn’t really been thinking at all when I opened my mouth.

  Maybe I was tired. I was done with whatever little game he had going on here. I wanted out, whatever way that may be. There was no way I was going to make it here for months. Or years even.

  If I thought living in a tiny box surrounded by drug dealers was a shock, it was nothing compared to being in this cage. How I would have given anything just to be able to stand up straight for two minutes.

  “Then what is it about?” I asked and this time I made sure that I kept my voice calm and even.

  I needed to understand why I was here. I needed to know the reasons why he locked me in a cage. I had to know why all of this was happening to me.

  “You see,” he said, the left side of his face twitching a little. “Something was taken from me and I deserve some payback, don’t you think?”

  “And that has to do with me how?”

  “You were the one thing I could get to.”

  “Oh,” I said and blew out a frustrated breath of air.

  There was a lingering silence that fell between us. I sat there on the floor, my legs curled up against my chest. He went back to sharpening his knife and the sound began to hurt my ears.

  Then my mind started to shoot off in all directions.

  This guy took me to get back at someone or something. I wasn’t sure on that last part. But he did take me to make a point. Only, I didn’t even know if anyone knew I was missing. Did he know that as well? Had we really been sitting here all this time waiting and well, it was kind of pointless.

  “Um,” I said and licked my dry lips. The sound ceased again and I was thankful. “Do they—or whoever—know that I’m missing?”

  That was the moment I saw the truth. His shoulders slumped and his face fell. It was almost like he had just realized that he hadn’t thought about that part of his plan.

  “It’s just that, well, sometimes I can be a bit… flaky… and I’m not really the best at getting back to people.” I shook my head because I felt that this was partially on me. Which made no sense. It wasn’t my fault that this guy kidnapped me. Or that I was somehow caught up in
something I knew nothing about. “So… there is a chance that no one knows that you have… taken me.”

  I tried to put it as delicately as possible.

  If looks could kill…

  It would have been a death by fire, that was for sure.

  Because as his eyes looked up and met mine again, there was a blaze hotter than Hell burning in them.

  I should have just kept my mouth shut.

  “Maybe I should cut off one of your fingers. If I send it to them, you think they will know you’re missing then?!”

  He abruptly stood up, knocking the cheap, metal chair over and causing a loud ruckus that made me flinch.

  I swallowed hard.

  Yes, I was sure that would make them very much aware.

  Only I hoped that he wouldn’t actually go that far.

  But luckily, he turned on his heels and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

  I sat there and tried to calm my breathing.

  I feared what was to come.

  And again, I only had myself to blame.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  B-ry

  Dear Bryan,

  This is probably absurd but I don’t feel like I can hold it all in anymore. I realize this is just a silly fling to you and I have no right holding feelings for you. It wasn’t like I wanted it to happen. I mean, look at us. We are two different people. You are strong and have your life all figured out. Me, well, we can’t even try to deny that I’m a mess, right? I have nothing figured out. I don’t even know who I am. You have a family to watch your back and mine dropped me like a hot potato. I am not trying to play the ‘oh, poor me’ card here. I just want you to know that I understand it. And I see that it is possibly ridiculous that I even thought we could ever have something more.

  That doesn’t change the fact that I sort of love everything about you. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. And I mean everything. From the food that you bring me that I know you just didn’t happen to pick up because you were hungry. I may be blonde but I’m not that dense. I didn’t miss the fact that you stayed on nights when I felt weak and lost. Every single time.

  You are perfect to me and everything I would ever want in a man. I see you and I never took it for granted though it may have seemed like I did. I am scared. Terrified, actually. I want to open myself up to you but I feel like it would only ruin what we have. I’m your fun time and I get that. I don’t want to change what we have because I’m so scared to lose the scraps that I already have of you. I think the worst thing would be if I never had another night with you. You make me smile and forget everything that is weighing me down. You look at me like I’m actually beautiful when I know I am a disaster. Come on, who could love a girl with as many roots showing as I have going on. Or one that doesn’t even bother to try anymore. You never once looked at me with disgust because I hang out in ratty sweats. Things I never imagined I would be caught dead in.

  Even though I know it is wrong, I can’t help how I feel. I worry about you when you have ‘club business’ or rush off with no explanation. I hate not knowing what is going on and that I’m the last person you come to when it is all over. But I wish you knew how much it cuts me and sets me on edge.

  I’m writing this all down because I know I will never be brave enough to say it to your face. I kind of hope that by getting it out it will somehow give me the strength to hold myself together. I’m not ready to give you up just yet. Or ever.

  Love,

  Your Queen

  I read her words over and over. So many times over the past few days that I didn’t really need to look down at the paper to see them scroll through my mind.

  I finally saw myself through her eyes and it was nothing like what I’d been thinking. I wouldn’t lie, her words were like a lightning bolt to the heart. She was wrong, though. I didn’t see her as the mess she thought she was. She was beautiful and so strong even if she didn’t see it. She lost everything. Every-fucking-thing. And she never complained. She still held her head high. She found a way to crawl out of the hole that she’d been pushed down into.

  To me, she was unbreakable.

  She was my Queen because it didn’t matter how life had kicked her around and down, she still made her own throne. And she sat on it with all the grace of a woman that had everything.

  I missed her.

  Her smile.

  Her laugh.

  But I think I missed her fight the most.

  Wherever she was, I hoped she still had it.

  Sitting there on my bed flicking the edge of the paper back and forth with my finger, I tried to quell my anger. It had nearly been two weeks since I’d seen her. Two weeks she was God knew the fuck where. There was nothing. It was like she just vanished.

  Cable searched the feeds from all the cameras just to make sure we didn’t miss a single thing. Maybe this person had been waiting around. But all he managed to find was footage of a car rolling by slowly right after she had started on her way. It killed me to watch her walk off, her shoulders clearly slumped in defeat. I had done that. I knew it even if I kept my mouth shut. And everyone watching right then knew it was because of me too. I’d been as forthcoming as possible about the situation, even if I hated myself.

  The car was a late model Buick. Those old ones that were all hard edges and like a damn boat on wheels. Black. The windows had been tinted so dark that even if there had been more light I knew we still wouldn’t have been able to see who was behind the wheel. So in other words, we had jack shit. Couldn’t even get a license plate number.

  I had been out every day checking in the dark corners of the city only to come home empty every night. I headed straight for my room and would then drink the night away. Alone, yes. Not that you had to even ask. But I wouldn’t even doubt how I must have looked in other people’s eyes. I was a fuck-up. A man that didn’t care about women. As long as she was naked in some way. And sure, that had once been me. But not anymore.

  There was only one woman that clouded my head. One woman that would be able to satisfy my every need. Oh, and I wasn’t just talking sexually. Once you had a taste of royalty, there was no going back, that was for sure. And Laurel was my royalty. My motherfucking Queen. The only woman that I would ever bow down to. The very one that I would give my life for without a second thought.

  A knock sounded at my door and after I called out, they pushed it open. Iron stood there, his eyes looking as tired as I felt.

  I crunched forward and quickly folded the letter back up. I set it on my nightstand before I gave him my full attention. It didn’t slip by him that my other hand remained around the neck of a half-full bottle of Jack.

  He let out a long breath as he sat in the seat in the corner of my room.

  “Somethin’ ain’t sitting right with this,” he finally said. “What is it that we’re missing?”

  “What if she’s not even here?” It came out more like a statement than a question and my eyes couldn’t look up to meet Iron’s. “What if she’s been moved out of the city? The state? Hell, the country?” I didn’t bother saying the other what if because it wasn’t even an option. She had to be alive. I refused to believe that this was the end for us.

  “She’s here. Don’t ask me how I know that, just a gut feeling. But, I’ve also been around long enough in this life to know that you should always trust your gut.”

  “I just keep thinking that there has to be some reason behind all of this. Then I ask myself if I’m being paranoid. It could have been random. Wrong place, wrong time type of thing. But what if it was her connection to me that got her snatched up?” And my connection to the club, but I didn’t need to say that.

  “Yeah,” he said like he completely agreed. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as his gaze went distant. “But who would it be? We’re good with the Russians and the Irish. Don’t have any problem with the Italians as long as we stay out of their way. I think we’ve done good on that so far. D13 don’t give a
shit about us as long as we stay on our side of the line.”

  He shook his head like there was something he couldn’t figure out. I was on the same page.

  My phone chimed, ringing out almost too loudly in the room. It did nothing to break the tension that was hanging around. As I reached for it, I had this feeling of dread in my gut. I read the text message then looked up at Prez.

  “Prospect says the manager is in Laurel’s place. Looks like he’s taking stuff out,” I said getting to my feet and ready to take off. Only as I stood, I realized I was too far gone to drive.

  “I’ll drive. We’ll take one of the SUVs.” He patted me on the back as we made our way out of the room.

  “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” I roared the moment I stumbled over the threshold to Laurel’s apartment. “This isn’t your fucking stuff. Get your goddamn hands off of it.”

  “Look, man,” the skinny, dirty middle-aged man said holding up his hands in surrender. “This bitch ain’t been here in like two fuckin’ weeks. She’s late on her damn rent, again. The way I sees it, she couldn’t hack it and left. No rent, no place. I gotta make money, too.”

  I took in a deep calming breath. Yeah, the loss of the apartment was nothing to cry over but that didn’t mean I didn’t care about her stuff. And though it wasn’t much, it was hers and I had been around to see how hard she worked just to keep that shit hole.

  “Fine, but don’t you touch another fucking thing. We’ll have it cleared out tonight.” I stood tall and stared him down.

  “Be my guest,” he said walking to the door. “I’m changing the locks first thing in the morning,” he said like he was trying to get one last jab in.

  I didn’t even bother to tell him how shitty those locks were and that I could get in here if I damn well wanted to. It didn’t matter anyway because come morning, this place would be completely empty.

  I didn’t need to fill Iron in, seeing as he was standing there in the doorway.