Bound by Bliss

by Lavinia Kent

  “I had forgotten how much I liked you, girl.” The smallest smile played upon Lady Perse’s lips.

  Lady Perse liked her? Bliss blinked, and blinked again. “So it was a mistake that I didn’t get an invitation?”

  Bliss could only watch as the smile faded from Lady Perse and her lips drew thin. “No, it was no mistake.”

  The words were anything but subtle. “I am back to not understanding.”

  “Do you wish to find true love, to form a love match?” The question would normally have sounded like fun and fantasy. Bliss could well imagine sitting in the park with Angela, the sun beating down about them, laughing at the question and thinking up the most fantastic of answers. When Lady Perse asked the question her tone was flat and cold, but her eyes were penetrating, seeking some answer that Bliss was not prepared to give.

  She almost answered, What lady does not? but she remembered Lady Perse’s response to her earlier answer. “I suppose.”

  “You need to be more definite.”

  How could she be more definite? She wasn’t even sure that she believed in love. No, she believed in it. She’d seen it enough times in others, seen its power. What she was not sure of was that it was a good thing. Love hurt. Love damaged. Love gave away power and asked for nothing in return. Love left one vulnerable. Love could leave one isolated and alone as nothing else in the world. “I would like a marriage that is more affectionate than is normal in society.” That was true, very true.

  “Then why seek one of my invites? I am sure that you could manage a marriage with some affection on your own.” Lady Perse’s lips remained stretched and thin.

  Bliss sensed complete honesty was called for, at least as much honesty as she ever allowed herself to consider. “I believe you are right. With time I am quite sure that I could find such a marriage. The difficulty is that for years I have avoided marriage. If it were possible I hoped to never marry at all. I like the life I lead and even think it would be great fun to be the maiden aunt to Swanston and Louisa’s children. I am content with my life.”

  Lady Perse leaned forward. “That does not explain how you came to seek my help.”

  No, it did not. “My brother believes I need to marry. He has given me to the end of the summer to find a husband or I must accept the one he has chosen for me.”

  “Ahh, that does explain much. I have been right all along. A forced marriage is no good at all, will not lead to happiness.” Lady Perse sat back and chomped upon the cream tart. The force of the bite actually distracted Bliss from her thoughts and worries for the briefest of moments.

  It was definitely a chomp and not a nibble. Nursery maids across the city would have run crying if their charges had bitten with such force, the scattering of crumbs flying. Although Lady Perse clearly did contain some magic, because not a single crumb came to rest upon the maroon silk of her high bodice. And there didn’t seem to be crumbs on the rug either. Where did they go? Did they disappear in midair? Bliss stared at Lady Perse’s mouth, waiting for her to take another bite. It was a mystery that could only be solved by close observation.

  “Do you have a man in mind?” Lady Perse’s words punched through Bliss’s wall of thought, forcing her back to the moment.

  “No. Yes. No.” Now, that was not an effective answer. A day ago it would have been a much more definite no. Today she was not as sure. Duldon kept pushing his way into her thoughts when he did not belong there. She was not looking for a husband who occupied her thoughts. Despite the adventures of the last days she was still sure that what she needed was a husband she simply got along with. Whether she believed in love or not she was certainly not looking for it in marriage. She wanted an easy marriage and whatever else might be true of Duldon she was sure that marriage to him would never me easy. It might be horrible. It might be wonderful. It would not be easy.

  “You are a most inattentive young woman. Do not think I miss when your thoughts wander and in a most inappropriate manner if that smile is to be any judge. I want a proper answer. Do you have a man in mind that you wish to wed?”

  “No,” Bliss said as firmly as she could. “That is why I want your help. I want to find a husband I can be friends with.” The simplicity of the statement almost made her gasp. That was what she wanted. Her dreams were not of a fantasy man who would love her until death them did part. No, she wanted a friend, a man she liked, who liked her. A sense of ease filled her. Now that she understood what she was looking for, perhaps she could find it.

  “That is not how I normally manage, but perhaps I could make an exception.” Consideration filled Lady Perse’s voice.

  “I would be most obliged.” It would be much simpler with Lady Perse’s help. “I am afraid that over the years, in my determination not to wed, I may have turned down several men who might have been possible choices. Now these men have either wed others or might be shy to approach me again. I am sure that you could be quite helpful in helping me find new choices, or smoothing the way for me to approach those I have previously rejected.”

  “It might be possible.” A finger tapped lightly upon the table.

  Bliss began to feel real hope. Lady Perse would help her find a husband. And Duldon, where did Duldon fit in with her plans? Her mind stretched and turned trying to find a spot, even as her body, which thankfully had cooled during Lady Perse’s visit, sprang to life again, the ache between her thighs sending out shivers of demand.

  The tapping finger settled on the thick vellum of the envelope and moved it in Bliss’s direction—but not all the way. “You still have not asked the price.”

  Price? What price? She was already busy thinking of Duldon and tonight. Without the fear of not finding an amicable husband she could relax and enjoy his lessons. And she could even justify them. He was helping her understand that part of what she needed in a husband. She had been wrong before in thinking compatibility in the bedroom would not be an important part of a comfortable marriage. Yes, she needed to find a husband who pleased her and how could she be sure of compatibility if she had no idea what she was looking for. Yes, her time spent with Duldon would be very useful, perhaps even crucial. She would go to Madame Rouge’s tonight and learn about Duldon’s punishment—and all that came after it. Her breasts swelled and she could only hope that the poke of her nipples was not too prominent. Her hand almost rose to circle Duldon’s mark. It still stood out bright and red upon her skin. She’d had to turn away her maid this morning and dress herself in a simple gown. She forced her hands to remain folded in her lap, tried to breathe shallowly to prevent the further chafe of her breasts on the delicate linen of her chemise. They were still sensitive from last night and the thought of Duldon’s lips and teeth upon them again was…

  “You are inattentive again, my dear girl.” Lady Perse’s voice was frosting up again. “I do not believe I can help you if you cannot even keep your mind steady for a full minute. And you must work on controlling your flush. Gentlemen will not wish a wife who continually looks as if she is having lewd thoughts.”

  Based on her experience of the last few nights, Bliss was not at all sure that was true. She rather thought gentlemen enjoyed having wives who engaged in lewd thoughts—and actions. But perhaps they only wanted ones who displayed such thoughts in private. Even with the Binkshaws she’d never seen any public hint of their private desires.

  A slight ting sounded as Lady Perse rapped a teaspoon against the side of her cup. “Attention. I am beginning to despair that there is no possibility of bringing this matter to fruition. We cannot even negotiate the beginning.”

  “I am sorry.” And she was. She needed Lady Perse. No more thoughts of Duldon and the delights he had introduced her to, no more remembering how his mouth felt upon her breast, no more wishing his fingers were rubbing between her legs, hitting that secret place, no more…Damnation, she was doing it again. “Tell me what you require and I will make it so.”

  Straightening her back more than Bliss would have thought possible, Lady Perse p
laced the spoon back on the saucer. “It has come to my attention that my nephew, Lord Duldon, wishes to wed you for some sliver of land your father possesses. I imagine he is the man your brother is trying to force upon you. I do not approve of a match between you. I wish you to stay away from the boy. I wish you to spend no more time in Duldon’s company.”

  —

  Did she dare go to Madame Rouge’s? Bliss stared up at the underside of her bed’s canopy. After her conversation with Lady Perse it seemed a most unwise decision. The lady had made it very clear that Bliss should have as little to do with Duldon as possible. Yes, she understood that some meetings could not be avoided. They were neighbors in the country and he was her brother’s best friend. Still, avoidance was the desired path, the key to invitation and all it might mean.

  And yet…

  Bliss closed her eyes and let her head fall back upon the pillows of her bed, her body still aching with need from the previous night. What did she really want? Did she want a night of passion or lifetime of companionship? A scant week ago Lady Perse’s visit would have been the answer to her prayers. If she did as Lady Perse directed she would have an agreeable husband, Duldon would be out of her life, and Swanston would have no further say over her. So why was she not jumping with glee?

  Questions, always questions. From the day Duldon had entered her life it seemed that all she did was ask questions. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. He had been in her life for years. It was only now that she was questioning everything.

  She’d begun to see him in a new way and it made her wonder what else she’d been missing these past years.

  Curling her fingers, she punched the pillow beside her.

  But was the new Duldon any better for her than the old one? If anything he might be more dangerous. He made her want things she should not.

  Well, she was dressed and ready to go. Duldon would be waiting for her in a scant few minutes. Surely one more night could not hurt?

  She sat up and swung her feet to the floor. Even the small movement caused her to shiver with want as her thighs brushed against each other and the silk of her dress slid along her skin.

  Pulling in a breath, she walked to the mirror and stared at herself. Large eyes, pupils almost covering the dark blue irises. Lips red and swollen from constant nibbling. Skin pale after a night of restless turning and fevered dreams. Her breasts rose high in the simple bodice. It was a simple matter to brush it down and see the top of Duldon’s mark.

  Her fingers lifted and traced the revealed red half-moon. The skin was still tender although the true sharpness had long since left.

  What did she want?

  The dreams that had danced through her head last night had left her in a state of wanton anxiety. Is this how she wanted to live her life? Only it wouldn’t be her life, it would just be one night.

  Could she risk one more night with Duldon? One night in which she allowed herself almost everything she desired?

  She would not relinquish her virginity. That was only for her husband. She would bring no disgrace, risk no child that was not sired in the marriage bed. No, that was absolute, but everything else…? Everything else seemed possible.

  So did she dare? Could she take what she wanted from Duldon and then leave him? Could she use him in such a manner?

  He wanted more. There was no doubt of that. So could she do this?

  Yes.

  Resolution filled her. She was a woman, one who was coming to know her own power.

  She would meet with Duldon, fulfill her needs, indulge her fantasies—and then she would tell him that she could not see him any longer, could no longer allow him to help with her plans for finding a husband—or any other plans. Lady Perse had taken that position from him and none could argue that she was by far the better choice for matchmaking.

  Determination hummed through her. Pulling her bodice back up, she turned and slipped from the room, heading for the back stairs and then to the garden gate.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Her hands were shaking. Duldon stared down at Bliss’s slender fingers and wondered at it. Whether jumping with joy, dancing until she swayed with dizziness, or looking angry enough to slug a brick wall, Bliss was always full of emotion, but he’d never seen her look so nervous. Was it in fear of her coming punishment or something else? He refused to believe that she feared him.

  Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out the blue satin half-mask and handed it to her. “Are you ready to go in?” He should ask if she was sure, if she was having second thoughts. He did not. He needed this night as he’d rarely needed anything.

  “Almost.” She tied the strings about the hair she’d tightly braided back, before pulling the hood of a deep cloak about her face. Her attire had clearly been more carefully considered than the breeches of the other night.

  Although he didn’t think she’d ever fully realized how much they revealed as opposed to hid.

  “There. How do I look?” she asked.

  “You look like a dark green cloak.”

  “Perfect.” She turned and walked across the street toward Madame Rouge’s. Her small mincing steps called her femininity as loudly as any ball gown or low-cut bodice.

  He groaned. It would never be easy with Bliss.

  And then he followed, as it seemed he always did these days. When had that happened?

  Speeding his step, he reached the door before her and gave a single sharp rap.

  The porter answered and swung the door wide. Ruby stood in the front hall, smiling at another patron who kept his face turned away, but made no other move to disguise his identity. Lord Aspen. A good fellow. Duldon had known him at school, although he’d been several years younger. Duldon hadn’t seen him since he’d gone to war a decade ago, before the man had inherited his father’s title.

  Bliss stepped into the hall behind him, and before he could stop her shook her head, causing her hood to fall about her shoulders and unruly blond curls to sneak from the braids. She smiled at Ruby, her lips shiny and pink beneath the indigo of the mask.

  Cursing inwardly, he too smiled greeting at Ruby. He should have cautioned Bliss not to drop the hood until they were in private.

  Lord Aspen’s face had turned to Bliss and his eyes measured her, considering. His gaze swept up and down, clearly imagining that which could not be seen beneath the heavy cloak.

  Duldon stepped to the side, placing himself firmly between Bliss and Aspen. The two men’s eyes locked and the message was sent. Aspen turned to Ruby and with a few murmured words and a last nod slipped from the hall and out into the night.

  “Scaring away my patrons, are you, my lord?” Ruby’s voice was firm, but her lips curled up.

  “I am sure the man was finished with his business or he would not have left so quickly.”

  “You would be correct. But then you always are.” She gave an exaggerated sigh and turned to Bliss, her eyes even more measuring than Aspen’s had been. “I had everything prepared as you wished.”

  “Good.” He placed an arm about Bliss’s shoulders and began to lead her up the stairs.

  Ruby placed a palm upon his other arm. “Are you sure this is wise?”

  What did wisdom have to do with any of this? “I am sure.”

  “But…”

  “Don’t you make a practice of never interfering unless in the most extreme of circumstances?” He turned and stared at Ruby.

  She paled slightly, but stood firm. “I just think…”

  He cut her off. “I know the way to the room.” Pushing slightly on Bliss’s shoulder he led her up the stairs to the hall.

  They walked down the dark hall until they reached the third door. He opened it and peered in, checking that all was as he’d requested. Yes. Ruby might have decided to raise questions that were not desired, but she’d done her job to perfection, as always.

  Swinging the door wide, he stepped in, directing Bliss to follow.

  He heard her release a deep breath as she peered about the room.
He doubted she’d breathe so easily if she could see inside the high wardrobes or through the connecting doors to the next chamber.

  “It’s not the room we were in before,” she said, turning about.

  This room was far simpler, three dark wood wardrobes against one wall, a deep fireplace already set, should the evening turn cold, and, of course, the bed. Huge and dark and high, with the simplest of white linens, it filled the center of the room. She walked toward it, trailing her hand over the tall wood posts, her fingers playing with the brass rings that stood out at intermittent intervals.

  She pushed her index finger through one of the rings and pulled back, considering, but said nothing.

  Stepping to the foot of the bed she fingered the thick, padded leather that made up the baseboard. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” she remarked, leaning against its hip-height top.

  She stepped back and turned to the wardrobes, reaching out as if to open one.

  “No.”

  She stopped, her body frozen at his command.

  “No?” Indecision played across her lower face as she nibbled upon that lush lower lip.

  He could see her own desires war against the power of his voice. “No.”

  Her hand dropped.

  “You may take off the mask.”

  Her hands rose, but then halted. “But what if somebody peeks in?”

  He was glad to see she had some protective instincts, even if they had failed in the front hall. “I have given strong instruction that we wish no watchers.”

  “I know, but…”

  “Ruby’s is known for its discretion and reliability.”

  “But you said sometimes Ruby checks and watches herself.”