Skin: He wanted full contact

by Johanna Hawke

  “Shh.”

  “You know that guys aren’t allowed in girls’ rooms.” I wasn’t sure why I’d even bothered saying that. Though I was a play-by-the-rules sort of girl, Jesse was the exact opposite. I was surprised that I hadn’t predicted this exact situation.

  “But I just had to kiss you. Besides, what the chaperones don’t know won’t hurt them.” We made out on the bed I’d claimed as my own until our lips were numb, then joined our friends in the hallway to make the final decision on where to go first. Jimmy and Maddie and Roger and Kayla were all coupled up, which made the meshing of our two friend groups nice and easy. I suspected both other couples were together more out of convenience and sexual desire than love, but I supposed that was alright for now.

  Miguel was the odd duck, the sole guy who hadn’t really made an effort to befriend any of the girls in our group, but we kept him around because Jesse had been friends with him for years. Shawna and Kayla rallied for Animal Kingdom, but the rest of us outnumbered them with our votes for Magic Kingdom. We were all most excited for Universal, but our three-day Universal passes didn’t start until Wednesday, so we’d have to wait.

  It seemed as though our entire shuttle to the park was filled with senior trip goers, some from our school, and others from other schools across the country. We all sat and stood with wide eyes and excited smiles as we looked out the shuttle window and waited for the parks to come into view. None of us had been to Disney before, with the exception of Jesse, so our enthusiasm was a bit over the top. We all knew it, and we didn’t care.

  Disney had always seemed so glamorous, but that’s because no one had talked about the long lines or excruciating heat. We were an hour into our first day in the parks, having spent most of the time going through security and figuring out how to navigate the map, and I was already exhausted and overheated. The only thing that kept me going was Jesse. Despite his tough-guy attitude, he’d been so excited about taking me on all his favorite rides and showing me the ropes of Disney.

  Our friend group was a democracy, so we went on each ride based on what the majority wanted. We’d decided ahead of time that we could split up if we wanted, and a small part of me hoped that my and Jesse’s friends would branch out so I could have some alone time with Jesse. We only had a few months left before life after graduation became our new reality.

  “Who’s up for the Rockin’ Roller Coaster?” Georgia asked. Every single person’s hand shot up, and we knew we’d found a winner for our first ride.

  “You scared, Velasquez?” Jesse said jokingly to Miguel on the walk over. “Need me to hold your hand? Or maybe we can find a nice girl to do it for you.”

  We took our place in the back of the line, and Jesse hopped up along one of the guard rails and took a seat. He wrapped his arms around me as if to show everyone that I was his. “Why am I the only one you’re nice to most of the time?” I asked, hoping that I wouldn’t anger him with my question.

  “That’s not true,” Jesse said. “And if it is, it’s because I love you. You’re my girl.”

  “Man, Parker’s an ass to everyone,” Jimmy said, sending the group into a frenzy of laughter. I didn’t blame them. Jesse had a tendency to treat our friends like crap, a trait I’d so kindly tried to point out several times. But there was no reasoning with Jesse.

  The line to ride the roller coaster was an hour long, but we passed the time with a rousing game of “Would You Rather?”

  “Would you rather lick mayonnaise off the ground or eat a bowl of dog food?” Georgia asked.

  “Dog food,” Jesse and I said in unison.

  “Mayonnaise,” everyone else said.

  “Seriously?” I said. “Mayonnaise is disgusting.”

  “Walk through a room full of snakes or eat five tarantulas?” Jimmy offered.

  All of the girls agreed that eating tarantulas would be less scary than walking through snakes, while the macho boys puffed out their chests and said that they weren’t scared of snakes. We laughed and asked equally ridiculous questions to one another until, at last, we were fastened into our seats. With the exception of Georgia, my closest friend, I hadn’t told my friends that I was afraid of roller coasters. I’d been so sure that, in the heat of the moment, I would suck it up and go with it.

  I hadn’t planned on telling Jesse about my little secret, either, except that he asked me if I was excited for the roller coaster and I didn’t want to have any lies in our relationship. Waiting for the roller coaster to take off, Jesse squeezed my hand. “It’s going to be great,” he said into my ear. “I love you.”

  I held onto Jesse from the moment Steven Tyler’s voice counted down from five until we were safely back on solid ground. As our friends all jumped up and down, excited and ready to find another equally thrilling ride, I still was unsure of how I felt. There was something about going through the air with Jesse at 55 miles per hour that was exhilarating, but I also had no desire to ever go on the coaster again.

  It was back to the drawing board for our next ride choice. I knew I’d be hard-pressed to find a ride that the others would agree to, given that their insanity tolerance was a hell of a lot higher than mine. My pick was It’s a Small World, but no one else wanted to go on the ride that they deemed to be lame, so Jesse and I split off while the others hit some other ride I’d never heard of. I tried to explain to them that It’s a Small World was iconic, but they were less than impressed with its long line and lack of dramatic twists and turns.

  “You’re going to love this, Roni,” Jesse said, “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but this is one of my favorites.” That was the Jesse I knew and loved, the softy who looked out for me and got excited over a ride centered on culture.

  Throughout the rest of our time in Magic Kingdom, It’s a Small World remained my favorite ride. It was the first ride that Jesse and I got to ride alone, which, in and of itself, was a great bonus. I convinced Jesse to ride it four more times over the two days we spent there, during which time we lied and told our friends that we were grabbing a bite to eat. Jesse was funny like that, wanting to hide the parts of him that made him seem like anything less than the king of all things gruff and rough.

  I understood why Jesse loved it so much, even though, whenever I asked him what he loved about it, he said, “I don’t know.” I’d always known that, deep inside that tough, strong exterior, there was a guy who enjoyed the simple things. There was just something about that ride, about the artistic nature and gorgeous array of colors. It was like riding a boat through paradise without worrying about the sun or the heat or the sailing direction. We sat in the front row each time, pointing out different components whenever we noticed them. I couldn’t get the theme song out of my head for the entire week.

  “How was your day?” Georgia asked when I got back to the room the third night. “Never mind. I don’t need to ask. I think your lips are glued into a smile, girl!”

  “I had the best day,” I said. “Jesse’s really incredible.”

  Georgia chuckled. “He’s an ass sometimes, but you two are absolutely the cutest couple in the entire world.”

  Spending days in the parks with my boyfriend and nights in the hotel chatting with my best friend—this was what dreams were made of. Georgia and I stayed up most of the night trading secrets and talking about our futures. She was still trying to decide between Emory, Virginia Tech, and Boston University, all of whom were practically begging for her to attend.

  “Boston’s closest to New York,” I said, smiling. “So, that has my vote.”

  “Have you heard back yet?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve been checking my email a hundred times a day. I really want this.”

  Georgia cradled my head in her arms in that best friend way that she was so good at. “You’ll get in. I know you will. If you don’t, I’ll go up to the admissions office myself and glue your artwork to their eyelids myself until they change their minds.”

  We giggled. I was going to miss this. We promised t
o take trips to see each other and take road trips each time we had a break from school, but who knew if that would actually happen? I wanted to soak in my last few months with my friends, especially while we were at the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

  Jesse and I spent the next few days with the rest of the group, save for a few times in Universal when the guys and girls split up so the guys could go bask in their superhero glory with the Marvel characters. Between all of us, I was fairly certain that we ate enough churros and popcorn and soft pretzels and cotton candy to feed a small island. I didn’t regret one minute of it.

  The school had decided that our last night in Florida would be the night the entire graduating class went to see the fireworks at Magic Kingdom together. I’d never been one who was easily impressed by fireworks, but Disney took them to another level. The combination of the bright explosions and being surrounded by my closest friends and boyfriend was enough make me teary eyed. I didn’t want to leave these people for art school next year. I didn’t want to leave high school.

  “This senior trip kicked ass,” Georgia said to the group.

  “It really has been the best week,” Rachel, the only one in the group who didn’t use curse words like they were a part of everyday vocabulary, said.

  I smiled. “Agreed.”

  Jesse put his arm around me to shield me from the cold evening air, and Jimmy and Roger followed suit with their girlfriends. I was going to miss this. I was going to miss Jesse’s friends following him around like lost puppy dogs. I was going to miss late nights with my friends and laughing until my ribs hurt. The fireworks popped like gorgeous, multicolored pieces of popcorn, and I found myself completely enamored.

  This had been the most perfect year of high school I could’ve ever asked for. I looked over at Jesse, his eyes glowing in the reflection of the fireworks, and saw forever in his eyes. He was all I ever wanted. Jesse smiled at me and mouthed, “I love you.” I knew high school sweethearts never really made it for the long haul, but I was determined that Jesse and I would defy the odds.

  Chapter 14

  Jesse

  “I have a surprise for you,” I told Roni over the phone, squeezing my eyelids shut and hoping she’d agree to come with me.

  “Oh yeah?” she asked in that adorable way of hers.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven.” I quickly hung up without giving her the chance to say no. Sure, we’d made a lot of headway, but I knew that every time I asked Roni on a date or opened up my heart to her it was another opportunity for her to run the other way. I didn’t want any surprises headed her way, not after the water balloon date, and not now. I needed Roni to know how much I had changed and how much she meant to me. I couldn’t think of a better way to make Roni’s day than taking her to the restaurant we went to on our first date.

  Just as I’d done three or four times back in high school, I tied a tie around Roni’s eyes as a temporary blindfold. Sure, this wouldn’t be nearly as good as the surprise trip to the artsy hotel she loved, or the spontaneous beach trip, but I was still fairly certain that she would love it. Roni had one quality that so many women I’d met over the past few years didn’t possess: she was grateful for the little things.

  Roni hadn’t taken kindly to the flowers and physical gifts, but she was definitely the type to appreciate a thoughtful gesture. I’d thought about taking Roni to Cucina Ricci for days, but the timing finally felt right. I wanted us to be sixteen again for a night, naïve and smitten and just excited to spend time with one another.

  “Where are you taking me?” Roni asked. “It better not be another water balloon fight! One is enough!”

  I chuckled. “Relax. This’ll definitely be a step up from the water balloons.”

  From one side of Linfield to the other, the ride didn’t take more than ten minutes. With the restaurant right in the heart of town, along Main Street, the drive was short. When I put the car in park, I turned to Roni and asked if she had any guesses as to where we were before she took off the blindfold. “I have a feeling, but I don’t want to get my hopes up,” she said.

  “Go ahead!”

  “Is it Cucina Ricci?”

  I pulled the tie off over Roni’s head and revealed the brick building in front of my parked car. “How the hell did you guess that?”

  “I’d know the smell of this restaurant anywhere,” Roni said, beaming. The look of excitement in her eyes made every penny I’d spend on dinner tonight worth it. I would’ve spent it a hundred times over just to see the smile that was on Roni’s face last forever.

  As I requested, the hostess seated us along the back-left wall, third table from the end, the exact same place we’d sat for our first date and our one year anniversary. The table had two dimly-lit candles in the center of the table and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, Roni’s favorite, waiting in the wine bottle holder beside the table.

  “I can’t believe you did all this,” Roni said.

  I smiled and put my napkin on my lap. “Remember how hard I was trying to impress you that first night? It took weeks for you to say yes, so I picked out the nicest restaurant I could find that would take a dinner reservation on a day’s notice.”

  “I remember.” Roni laughed. “You were so nervous.”

  “Guess some things haven’t changed all that much,” I said.

  Roni furrowed her brows in that adorable way of hers. “What’s there to be nervous about? You’re Jesse Parker, tattoo artist to the stars, owner of a fancy house, a legend at Walker High School.”

  “And the dumbass who let you get away once before.” I’d never been great at being vulnerable, but, with Roni, it was different. I felt comfortable opening up to her, even if my reservations were about her.

  “Well, let’s just forget about the past for tonight.”

  With a crooked smile on my face, I said, “In that case, let’s ditch this place and go to the new Chick-Fil-A down the road.”

  “Funny,” Roni said with a giggle. “I’ll rephrase. Let’s just forget about the bad parts of the past for tonight.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Neither of us had to look at the menu to know what we wanted to eat. As we’d done both other times we’d been to Cucina Ricci, and at a myriad of other Italian restaurants, we opted to split a bruschetta appetizer, with Roni ordering eggplant parmigiana as her meal, while I went with the lobster ravioli.

  “You know,” I started, as I spread margarine on my dinner roll. “We avoid talking about the past because I hurt you. And I know that. But we had some damn good times in high school.”

  I waited for Roni’s reaction, which, thankfully, came in the form of a twinkle in her eye. “I know,” she said. “That’s what made it so hard to leave it all behind.”

  “Do you ever think about them?” I asked. “The good times?”

  “Sure! Like, every time I drive by an ice cream truck, I think of that time at the end of junior year when you chased the ice cream truck down just because I was having a bad day. You hadn’t taken the time to ask what I wanted, so you came back with four or five different ice creams.”

  “I can’t believe you remember that,” I said.

  Roni placed her hand on mine. “Of course I do.”

  “Do you remember which ice cream you chose?”

  “Nah. It was the gesture that counted.”

  “It was a Choco Taco,” I said. “Then we brought the rest to your house so you’d always have some ice cream on hand.”

  “I didn’t remember that.” Roni’s eyes grew wide as she stared deeply into mine. “But I’m not surprised. Even when you were a rebellious teen, you always had a big heart.”

  In an effort to avoid a sob-fest before our dinners even arrived, I shifted the topic to Roni’s soccer days. She’d decided, out of the blue, during the summer between junior and senior years, that she wanted to try out soccer. She’d never played beyond a few days at summer camp as a kid, yet she somehow thought she’d be a soccer star. She could not have been more
off base. Roni and I laughed so hard we nearly choked on our bruschetta as we went back and forth about her awful playing. I gently reminded her of the time she’d been beat by a seventh grader in a one-on-one game, which was funny until she shoved back in my face that she’d beaten me in a one-on-one game.

  “I can’t believe you let me go out on that field,” Roni cried.

  “Let you?” I slapped my knee. “I begged you not to make a fool out of yourself! But, man, were you determined.”

  “I guess it just reaffirmed for me that I was meant to pursue art. Sports are just not in the Vance DNA.”

  I let the silence simmer for a minute. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m really sorry I didn’t appreciate art in high school, especially your art,” I said. “You’re so talented, I don’t think you even realize it, Roni. I just wish I could’ve been the supportive boyfriend you needed back then.”

  Roni lowered her gaze until she was staring at the plate in front of her. “That means a lot, Jesse,” she said. “I mean it. Your support for my art was one thing I always wanted and never really got. I guess that’s just who you were back in high school.”

  “Well, I’m here now.” I reached across the table and lifted Roni’s chin so her eyes could meet mine. “And, any art show you have, any piece you need an opinion on, I’m your guy.”

  “You’re too sweet, “Roni said.

  “So how do you like teaching art?” I asked. I really wanted Roni to know how much I cared about her and enjoyed learning every part of her. It was the opposite of how’d I been in high school, admittedly more selfish and careless than Roni deserved.

  “It’s going well.” Roni pulled out her cell phone, and, for a minute, I worried that the question had somehow offended her. In the midst of me replaying the conversation in my head, Roni turned her phone to face me, revealing a picture of a bulletin board covered in black and white drawings. “We had the fall art fair last week. This was my favorite project the kids did. I had them each pick a city or country from around the world and draw a picture that depicted that place using only black permanent markers.”