All in for You

by David Horne

  “Yeah, let’s not do that.”

  “You weren’t worried about me, were you?”

  “Me, Nah.” Pete shook his head. He knew it was a lie. But he had a poker face when he needed it. This was one of those moments that he needed it.

  “All right. Mind if I clean up before dinner?”

  “Go ahead. Plenty of hot water left.” The card player nodded and got out of the way.

  Toby walked into the bathroom and once again Pete was alone. He was used to being alone, but this wasn’t an easy way to be alone. It felt quiet, solemn almost. It felt wrong. Like it wasn’t meant to be.

  He paced back and forth in the room until Toby came out of the shower, looking nice in a superhero t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. In moments they both had their shoes on and were out the door and on the way to the twenty-four-hour buffet downstairs.

  The elevator was taken in silence, with several other people that must have had the same idea. But the groups split up when they got off the elevator. Pete tried to think of something to say. There had to be something that he could say to this man who walked right next to him.

  He watched the man out of the corner of his eye, trying to figure out just what he could say. Toby still seemed a little unnerved by the expansive space. He knew how that could be. When he first came to Vegas, he found himself in the same state of mind. He wasn’t like that anymore, but he did remember when he had started in this line of work. It wasn’t that surprising.

  Everything here just felt larger than life. That was exactly what the city had been built to be, larger than life. Now he had seen the parts behind the glitz and glamor of the strip thanks to his occasional exploration of the world beyond the shiny lights. The rest of the city was like any other city, with a good bit of poverty behind the richness of it.

  He sighed. “They built it to be intimidating.”

  “Why is that?”

  “To make a spectacle. It’s the oasis in the desert, the shiny diamond in the rough. It’s supposed to be impressive and awe-inspiring. And they did a good job of that.” Pete started. “That’s why everything on the strip is so big. But behind the scenes, it’s more like a normal city.”

  Toby nodded slowly as he chewed on his lip. “Yeah, I figured as much. I might have to go see it before I leave. If I even get the chance.”

  “We’ll have some downtime to explore.”

  “You don’t have to take me exploring.” Toby offered a smile. “I can handle it on my own. The agreement was for me to shadow you to the tournament.”

  “I know, but I don’t mind doing some exploring. And I don’t mind if we go together. It’s better in groups anyway.”

  “Sure. I would appreciate that.” Toby nodded. Then he seemed to backpedal like he regretted what he had just said. “I mean if you want to do that.”

  “I do.” Pete felt the finality in the statement and he hoped that he wasn’t going to regret making this offer. Toby kept trying to let him walk back any offer that he made. “I’ll take you around town. I got time tomorrow night. We can walk the strip. Then I’ve got a day off after that. I can take you to see the rest of the city.” For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why he wanted to go out and do things with the shy writer. But there was just something about Toby that made him want to spend more time with the guy. He didn’t know if he was entirely comfortable with how comfortable he was becoming around Toby or not, but there wasn’t much to be done.

  Dinner went just fine. It was a lot of small talk and Toby seemed to be getting excited about all of the things that he would see on this trip. It was painfully obvious how rarely the man got out of town. It was sweet, something that he enjoyed listening to. It was a joy in the world that the card player hadn’t experienced in a long time. And this writer was so excited to discover more of it.

  Toby was breathless by the time he got back to the room, but his eyes were shining with excitement and joy.

  Pete laughed as he let them both into the room. “I take it you’re not tired yet?”

  “I think I woke up.”

  “Yeah, that’s normal.” Pete was still smiling.

  “Is it?”

  “Yeah, the second wind effect. The excitement may have died down, but there’s still a lot of new stuff for you to see in the city.” Pete shrugged.

  “It’s a pretty crazy city.”

  “That’s what happens when you’re built for tourism.”

  “You mean the city, right?” Toby laughed softly.

  “Yeah, the city. I’m not exactly built for tourism. I hate tourists.”

  “Aren’t we tourists?”

  “Not technically. We’re both kind of here on business.”

  Toby put a finger up as if to interject. He had something to say. “But we’re both going to be playing tourist later, right?”

  Pete laughed. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

  Toby looked over at him. There was something about the look in the writer’s eyes that intrigued the card player. It drew him in.

  The writer was smiling too. They walked inside and closed the door behind them. Without another word, they both walked to the couch and sat down. Pete could feel how close he was to this man, how much it meant to be that close. He could feel a shiver run down his spine every time Toby shifted in his seat and inadvertently came closer to the man near him.

  It was a nice feeling, something comfortable and secure. It was an odd feeling, something that he had never really felt this way, at least not in a romantic way.

  But then Toby always seemed to shift back to where he was before. Pete’s mind raced and he struggled to figure out what to do and what to say. He couldn’t figure out what it all meant. How did Toby feel? Did he feel the same way that he did? Was it just as confusing as he found it? What even was he hoping would happen? Was he hoping that Toby might mean something more than just a writer that was following him around?

  He didn’t know what to think or what to say about this thing that he was feeling.

  Maybe there just wasn’t anything to say about it at all.

  He had never been that interested in romance. It had never felt like it was in the cards for him. But there was something about this writer. As much as he had hated the idea of this guy following him around, Toby was starting to grow on him. Toby was an easy man to appreciate.

  This man was starting to mean something more than they…

  The card player felt a shiver run down his spine and he caught Toby’s gaze. Tunnel vision. That was all that Pete could see when he looked into those warm brown eyes. Pete swallowed hard, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t look away. There was nothing in the world that would make him look away. He had to see more of those eyes and he knew that he would end up dreaming of them.

  He sighed.

  Then Toby sighed as if his sigh was triggered by the one that Pete had released just moments before.

  Their eyes were still locked together. Slowly their bodies shifted, inching closer. They were close enough to touch. Pete reached out, put his hand on the writer’s hand. And that was the moment that the card player knew that his whole life was changing around him.

  And when the kiss came the deal was sealed. Pete knew he was lost and Toby had the key to finding him. He knew that the end was right there. And he knew there was no way that he should feel that way.

  He pulled away, shaking his head.

  Toby looked down, sheepish. “Uh, sorry?”

  “Don’t be. It’s fine.” Pete shook his head. “It just happened. That’s all.”

  Toby paused.

  The man felt a little awkward as he saw the strange look on Toby’s face. Pete didn’t know what to do. He fidgeted instead of saying something else. It wasn’t like him. He didn’t fidget. He didn’t show what he was feeling.

  “Yeah, that’s all.” Toby nodded in agreement and got up off the couch. It was torture to see the man pull away, even if it was the right thing to say.

  Before Pete could say anything, t
he man had walked into the bathroom and he could hear the shower running. It was a little odd that Toby was taking another shower so soon after his last one. They had both cleaned up before dinner. That could only mean one thing. Toby didn’t want to see him. Not right then.

  Pete sighed and put his head in his hands. He had said the wrong thing. He always said the wrong thing. He was so good at reading people, but all that skill had shut down in the aftermath of that kiss. All he could think about was how badly he had screwed everything up and that now he would have to sit through the rest of this trip in the awkward company of a nervous writer that he had kissed.

  Chapter Seven

  Toby laid in bed that night and worried about what had happened. He didn’t know what to make of any of it. Pete had seemed so strange before the kiss. And he was terrified of the reaction after the kiss had happened. He couldn’t sleep. There was just too much rushing through his mind. He felt the confusion rip through him, taking over and making it hard to breathe or focus. He was struggling to figure out exactly what he was going to do about it, but he knew that wouldn’t come to him there. It wouldn’t come to him with Pete laying so close, just on the other bed, within sight.

  He closed his eyes and listened to Pete. Pete was a good guy, but he probably wasn’t the type of guy to make any sort of long-term commitment. And Toby didn’t know if he could stand with being some professional gambler’s one-night stand. He was better than that. He had never been the type and it had meant that he had spent a lot of his time alone. He didn’t like the kind of things that this guy had to enjoy.

  Pete’s breath was steady and smooth. The man must be asleep. He just had to slip out of the room. Find a way out of there and into the rest of the world. Clear his head. Start thinking straight. He had to do that away from the man who he had just shared an earthshattering kiss with.

  He slipped out of bed, hoping to get out of the room quietly he grabbed his wallet off of the nightstand. He didn’t know if he would need it, but it was never a bad idea to carry a wallet along.

  But that must have been too much noise. Pete groaned and rolled over, rubbing his eyes. “What’s up?” The man’s voice was slurred from sleep.

  “Just wanted to take a walk,” Toby said quietly, hoping the man would go back to sleep.

  “Did I sleep late?”

  “No, you’ve still got plenty of time. It’s the middle of the night.” The writer kept his voice measured and calm. He just needed some time. That’s what he kept telling himself.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Toby hit denial mode immediately. “Nothing.”

  “Man, I can read you like a book.” The sleepy man shook his head. Toby could tell that Pete was still half asleep and probably wouldn’t remember this conversation come morning.

  That was probably a good thing. He just had to get out of there safely. “I’m just going to get some air. I’m fine. Get some sleep. You’ll need it when you play tomorrow. I won’t be gone long.”

  “Ok.” Pete rolled back over and settled back into the rhythmic breathing of a man sleeping.

  Somehow that had worked. The man had a free shot out of the hotel room and into the hallway.

  Toby breathed a sigh of relief and cautiously made his way to the door, stopping to slip on some slides that he had brought with him just in case and content to be seen in a t-shirt and pair of sweats. It can’t have been the worst thing people had worn in this hotel.

  On his way out the door, he made sure to close it quietly and slipped his wallet into his pocket. He realized as soon as the door was closed that he had left his phone behind, but decided against going back for it. It would risk waking the man he was sharing a room with up again and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted the quiet and the peace to think.

  The elevator didn’t take very long to get to him and he stepped on. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he was already starting to breathe easier. There was so much on his mind.

  As he reached the bottom floor he stepped out onto the floor and saw the lights of the casino. Everything glittered, but he saw behind the veneer. This was all show and no substance. It was something that fascinated him, called to him. He wanted to study it. Find out why it attracted people. He could see the appeal, but there had to be something deeper than that. Something beyond just the physical appearance that made this place so crowded every single day.

  He strolled on the floor, walking between the tables and machines and he listened to the clattering sounds of recorded coins falling. That felt a little odd. Slot machines didn’t take coins anymore, but they did make the sounds. It must have been part of the air that they were trying to put off, the veneer of quick riches that drew people to the slot machines.

  He paused and looked at one of the empty machines. It had cowboys on it. After a moment he stopped and sat down in the seat and put in some money.

  He hit the button, barely paying attention to the spinning pictures. A small jangle sounded from the machine, but Toby was barely cognizant of it. He just didn’t care about the pittance of a win that flashed across the screen like it should be celebrated.

  It didn’t give him the high that it gave most people that came here. He wasn’t here for that. And he had other things on his mind.

  He hit the button again. Barely paying attention to the way the colors flashed in front of him. He had no real interest in what he was doing, simply spinning the reels with a blank mind.

  More flashes. This time even brighter. The noises grew louder. Toby slowly blinked to awareness. A single word flashed across the screen. Jackpot. He had won the jackpot. Almost forty thousand dollars. Toby blinked. Then he stared at the screen again. It was unbelievable.

  Now his attention was grabbed by the screen. He couldn’t believe it. This would pay for his entire trip and then some. And he could even afford a different room in a different hotel. A better room in a different hotel.

  He could give Pete the space that he wanted. He considered going to ask if there was a way he could get a better room at the hotel they were at, just so Pete could have his space again. There were so many possibilities with that kind of money.

  A voice echoed out from behind him. “Sir?”

  Toby’s head snapped around. “Yes?”

  It was a woman with a uniform on. Someone from the casino. “I noticed that you won the jackpot. I wanted to escort you to the cashier just so you can cash out safely.” She offered him a smile.

  Toby nodded mutely and glanced back toward the machine in front of him. He saw the button that was labeled for him to cash out. He pressed the button.

  A slip of paper was printed out from the machine. He stared at the numbers in awe. He had never had that kind of money in his account. He had always just sort of made it and managed to put a little away in savings. This felt like some sort of miracle. Or maybe it was a sign. He didn’t know. And he didn’t know what the sign would be telling him even if it was one. He nodded to the woman who slowly started to walk with him toward the cashier’s cage. His mind was reeling about what he could do with this kind of money. It would mean so much over the next year or two. He could put some of it into his small retirement account.

  This wasn’t going to completely transform his life, but it was good enough that it would pay off his car and help with some other bills to allow him to save more money.

  His mind was racing through plans as he filled out the paperwork to receive the check for his winnings. Some of it was for taxes and the cashier made sure to remind him to save some of the windfall toward the inevitable tax payment the next year. His tax bill was going to be bigger. But that was fine. It wouldn’t take all of the money he had won.

  In a few minutes, he was heading back to the room. He tried to be quiet as the door beeped and he pushed open the heavy portal. But hotel room doors were always loud when they closed. He supposed there was a reason they had such heavy doors. Maybe it was to prevent break-ins. Maybe it was just to help the patrons of that p
lace feel more secure. He couldn’t say for certain.

  Pete jerked awake in the other room. The man could hear the groan from by the front door. “Hello?” Pete’s voice rang out.

  “Sorry, just went out for some air.”

  Another grunt and a shirtless Pete walked out of the room. His hair was tousled. He was wearing nothing but a pair of sweats.

  The sight nearly took Toby’s breath away. His heart skipped. And he stared. He couldn’t do anything but stare at this man.

  This gambler was a special level of hot.

  “Something wrong?” The corners of Pete’s mouth tugged down into a very slight frown.

  Toby picked up his jaw and tried to act like nothing was wrong. “Uh, no. Nothing wrong. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t wake me.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “Uh, yeah.” Toby toyed with his wallet. It was still in his pocket.

  “What is it?” Pete walked over to the coffee pot and filled the pot in the sink right next to the pot.

  “You don’t have to make coffee.”

  “I know.”

  “Why?”

  Pete shrugged. “I don’t know. Figured with that look on your face you might want some.”

  “Huh?”

  “You look like you got struck by lightning.”

  The writer shrugged. “I think maybe I did.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Toby shrugged and plopped down on the couch. “I don’t even know how to say this, but I needed some air. Maybe some time to think after… you know… what happened.”

  “The kiss?” Pete had to still be half asleep. He was much more talkative when he was like this.

  “Yeah, the kiss.”

  “Ok.” Pete didn’t comment any more on it as the coffee started to brew and the smelled filled the early morning air of the room.

  “So, I went downstairs and I guess I just kind of sat in front of a slot machine.”