Chasing Clouds

by Kathryn Andrews

  “Remember what we said earlier.” He pulls me into his warm body and tucks my head under his chin. “This is just for a couple of hours. Everything is going to be all right.”

  “How do you know?” I plead for him to give me an answer, my eyes dropping to his chest . . . his very broad and muscular chest. I move my hands and slide them under his suit jacket, around his waist to fist the back of his shirt. The body heat trapped there seeps into me and spreads up my arms.

  “Because I know nothing has to be decided today,” he says calmly.

  “Well, we kind of did make a huge decision today.”

  He chuckles, and the feel of it vibrates through him and into me. Leaning back, I look up to see his warm eyes humoring me while one hand spans my lower back, pulling me closer, and the other still cradles my head.

  Why is looking at him like looking at the sun? Being held by him, the feel of him, the smell of him—it’s distracting and blinding as the heat spreads through me and curls in the bottom of my stomach.

  “Listen, your family and friends are waiting outside for you. There’s nothing scary out there, just people who love you. I’m getting to spend time with my brother, there’s going to be some great food, and if you’re lucky, I’ll ask you to dance.” He winks.

  “It is scary out there. You don’t understand . . . those people don’t love me. They’re social climbers and gossipers in the worst way. I feel like I’m being fed to the wolves. I always do, and especially after today. They’ll all know this is fake—if they don’t already—and it’s more humiliation for my family. That’s why I don’t know what to do.”

  “So let’s make it real,” he says, his tone so casual.

  “How do we do that?” My stare bounces back and forth between his eyes.

  “Go on a date with me.” He grins.

  “A date? What?”

  “Be with me tonight. We’re already in this together, so why not? For tonight, be mine.” He shrugs one shoulder.

  Be his.

  Could I be his for one night? I haven’t been on a date in so long, or out with another guy in over five years. I don’t even know if I know how to act.

  “What do we tell people?” I ask him.

  “Nothing really. I think less is more. It’s not anyone’s business, and the more details we give, the harder it will be to remember them all.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right, but we will get asked.”

  “Okay, we met late last summer after your semester started. I was visiting my family and went out with Nate and his friends. You and I instantly hit it off and secretly kept in touch.”

  Three sentences . . . three sentences of a lie that now has to give proof for my erratic behavior . . . three sentences that do sound believable.

  “Okay, simple enough. I like that.”

  “It’s going to be fine.” He gives me a smile and my gaze lowers to his mouth. There’s a small scar on the top left side of his upper lip, and I decide I like it.

  “They’re going to clink the glasses and expect us to kiss.”

  “So I’ll let you kiss me.” He laughs. My eyes dart back to his, and they’re filled with amusement.

  “It has to look real.” I laugh with him and tug on the back of his shirt.

  “Do you think it didn’t earlier?” He cocks an eyebrow as his thumb slides across my jaw and brushes across my bottom lip.

  “I don’t know,” I whisper, watching those green eyes sparkle and then become heated.

  His hand on my lower back presses and my body pushes more into his, the buckle on his belt feeling like the only thing preventing complete contact of his body with mine. Both his stomach and back muscles are flat and hard; he feels amazing, and I can only imagine he looks amazing too.

  “Come here, princess.” His voice pulls me from my thoughts.

  Butterflies take flight. He’s going to kiss me, here, in the library. I know we kissed earlier, but that was for show. This is here and now, with no one watching, and it feels real, like this is going to be our first kiss.

  Leaning down, his nose runs alongside mine, and he drops a kiss on the corner of my mouth. Earlier I was so caught up in the moment and what was happening, I didn’t take the time to memorize the details, but I sure am now. His lips are full and soft, and my heart rate picks up as I start breathing faster. He’s so close. He smells so good, and I bet he’ll taste exquisite.

  “This has officially become my favorite first date ever.” He pauses, and I feel the side of his mouth tip up as the day-old stubble on his cheek brushes against my skin. “Kissing at the beginning instead of the end, mmm.” The sound rumbles from his chest and into mine. I like the way it feels more than I should, and deciding I don’t want to wait anymore, I push up on my toes to seal my mouth to his.

  If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Reid today, it’s that he doesn’t do anything halfway. He’s either all in or all out, and with this kiss, he’s all in.

  When he licks across my bottom lip, I gladly open to him and allow his warmth to sink into me. Part of me thinks I should feel bad about wanting this kiss so much—after all, I’m supposed to be married to someone else—but I don’t. I want this kiss. No, I need this kiss, and I can tell he does too as his hand on my lower back moves to cradle the other side of my face. He holds my head, angling and moving me to just where he wants me, and I’m more than happy to comply. Over and over his tongue twists with mine as his mouth, lips, and breath take what they want. Every part of me is tingling, and I’m in complete euphoria as I surrender to this moment and just feel . . . feel him, his fingers, his heart beating against his chest, and how he’s wordlessly promising me he’s got this and everything is going to be okay.

  Patrick never kissed me like this. He was soft, tentative, and now I’m wondering if he just didn’t want to or wasn’t into it, because this kiss is the kind stories are written about, the kind that will ruin me for anyone else.

  The door opens and slams against the wall.

  “Camille!” my father bellows.

  Reid and I jump apart and my father stops dead in his tracks. Both of us are staring at him as confusion slips across his face.

  “Wait. I thought . . .” He trails off, his eyes bouncing between the two of us and narrowing in on Reid.

  “You thought what?” he asks, moving to stand closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Mine slips around his waist. I roll my lips in between my teeth and inwardly smile at how full and swollen they feel.

  Grandfather walks in, stands next to my father, and grins at us.

  “Nothing. Camille, I need to speak to you.” He again glances between the two of us. “In private,” he sneers.

  “Not tonight, sir. She’s all mine tonight.” Reid looks down at me, smiles, and kisses the top of my head. “Do I have lipstick all over my face?” he asks.

  Feeling emboldened, I quirk a mischievous smile, and he minutely raises his brows. “No. Darling, you know I prefer lip stains over lipsticks.”

  One side of his mouth tips up. “I do know, but I’m just making sure.” He bends down and lightly kisses me again. I can feel the anger radiating off my father from across the room.

  “I don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t come in here—” he yells, moving closer to us in an attempt to grab me by the arm, and I squeeze Reid’s hip, hard. He responds immediately and pulls me tighter against him.

  “I can and I will,” he says, cutting my father off. “I’m her husband now, and unless you want us to leave and be rude to your guests, I suggest you take a step back.”

  Reid is glaring at him, and I swear he’s grown three inches taller and two inches wider. He well outsizes my father, who, like the smart man he is, moves away from us.

  I know people don’t see me as a strong and independent woman, but I’ve always thought I am. I know I am a people pleaser. I don’t like conflict, and I want to make others happy. I prefer to go with the flow and keep the harmony between us all rather tha
n rock the boat. But, when needed, I’ve always been able to make decisions for myself and own them, just like today at the church. Standing here with the two of them in a face-off, though, now I don’t know. Maybe I’m not as independent as I thought I was. Securing my grip on Reid’s side, I willingly allow him to take over for me, to speak for me. What kind of person does that make me?

  “All right now,” Grandfather says as he walks to stand in the middle of my father and Reid. “We’re here to celebrate tonight. We have a house full of guests and we’re going to remember that.” He looks pointedly at my father, his tone very much stating that all this needs to be handled another day when there aren’t one hundred and fifty sets of eavesdropping ears just outside these walls.

  “Fine, but this isn’t over.” He pins me with a look I’m certain is meant to intimidate me, but I’m over it, completely done with his overbearing ways. I lengthen my spine instead of cowering, and I swear Reid beams with pride. I know I have some tough questions to ask myself about the type of person I am once the dust settles on all this, but I do know one thing: I will no longer be anyone’s doormat. I am not a pushover, and I refuse to allow people to treat me this way anymore.

  Holding my head high, I release Reid’s side and reach for his hand. His fingers lock around mine and I pull for him to follow me. As we start to walk past my father, Reid stops us, and I know he needs to get the last word in. After all, my father did just issue a threat of more to come, and I can tell Reid doesn’t like this dynamic. He doesn’t like it at all.

  My father’s eyes widen as Reid leans toward him a little, his nostrils flaring like a bull’s as he breathes in and out. If my father has any question about who he’s dealing with here, Reid squashes it immediately. He has no intention of ever letting my father have the upper hand.

  “Stay away from us,” he growls. He doesn’t even need to say or else; it’s implied, and my father knows it.

  Glancing once more at Grandfather, who is grinning at us, I shake my head in disbelief.

  I never thought I’d be happy to say I’m glad I caught Patrick cheating on me, but I am. If I hadn’t walked in on him, I wouldn’t have met Reid, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like things just might be okay.

  Remembering Reid’s words—just a few more hours—I grip his hand, pull us out of the room, and think to myself, Never again.

  I KNEW WE’D get some speculative glares tonight, but I never would have guessed there’d be so many. As bride and groom, we were fortunate enough to have a table to ourselves, but maybe it would have been better if we had moved over to Nate’s table. Hardly anyone spoke to us, and when they did, jabs came at us from right and left about what we did to “poor Patrick” and how he must be handling all of this. With each ticking minute, I became angrier.

  I mean, what is wrong with these people? Now I see why she was so worried to be here tonight. Hell, I’m giving her props for even showing up. I would have given the one-finger salute as I drove away as fast as possible. No wonder she married me; why would anyone want this life?

  Even still, although I feel like she owes them absolutely nothing, Camille plays her part, the one she’s perfected, but I see the heartache lying under the surface. The only family member to speak to her is her grandfather, and thank goodness for him. The only time she lit up was when he acknowledged her. He even took over the father-daughter dance, claiming they needed to appease him because he’s an old man. Of course, Camille and I danced too, cut the cake, and kissed, but I also saw how many glasses’ worth of champagne passed through her lips.

  I know she’s not mine. I don’t even want her to be mine, but for tonight, she is, and I’ve had enough.

  “Hey, are you ready to go?” I lean over and ask her as we’re taking a break from dancing and sitting at a table just off the dance floor. The few friends she does have here look exhausted, and it’s only a matter of time before they say good night as well.

  Blurry, sad eyes find mine. Slowly she nods and lets out a relieved sigh. Pulling her hand to my mouth, I kiss it lightly, and the two of us stand. She links her fingers through mine then leans into my arm and hugs it. This girl is killing me.

  “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,” says a voice over the speakers.

  My eyes whip across the lawn to find Nate standing on the stage looking directly at me. What is he doing?

  “Thank you to everyone who decided to stay tonight and share in this unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome turn of events.” Is he giving a best man speech? “For those of you who don’t know my brother, and I’m sure that’s most of you”—he chuckles—“there’s no one in the world like him.”

  My heart rate slows as I stare at him. He knows this whole thing isn’t real, so is he just trying to make it look more authentic? Is he doing it because he knows he’ll never have another chance? Or is he doing it because he’s my brother and he’s supporting me?

  “What people see on TV, the dedicated athlete and teammate—sure, that’s a huge part of who he is, but that’s not all he is. Reid is the best person I know. Growing up, he filled every role I needed filled, from father figure to best friend. He taught me how to tie my shoes, he bought me my first tennis racket, and he showed me how dedication, hard work, and determination can help you achieve your dreams. He’s selfless. He gives one hundred percent of himself, and he never asks for anything in return.”

  Warmth trickles into my veins as his words sink in. It’s one thing to know someone loves you, but it’s entirely different when you hear them speak it. I mean, Nate and I have never had flowery type conversations. We push each other, hard, because that’s what brothers do.

  “I never thought I would see this day, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s in his nature to care for others, always has been.” He shakes his head and presses his lips together.

  I don’t understand. He should be surprised. I’ve told him repeatedly I never plan on marrying, and I don’t really care for other people, I just do right by them.

  “Camille.” His eyes shift to her. There’s an unnamed emotion in them that again makes me feel guilty, but I shake it off, because I can’t and I won’t. “You will never find a better man than my brother. He will be loyal, honorable, and generous, but he needs someone to continually show him it’s okay to be vulnerable, and that it’s also okay for someone to take care of him for a change. He doesn’t always have to distance and numb himself. He can let go of the facade, because those who truly love him will never leave and will always stand by him.”

  I don’t know why he’s saying this. Vulnerable? That’s not even a word in my vocabulary. No one should ever be vulnerable, and it’s being strong and secure in my ways that has made me the man I am today. I don’t need anyone to take care of me; I take care of myself. Also, I wouldn’t say I distance myself. What I do is keep a pulse on reality so I can make the most informed decisions. That’s how I run my life on and off the field, and it makes me a great leader.

  “Treat him right, because he deserves the world and then some.” Nate briefly drops his head then swallows to gain composure, and I can’t help but frown. Man, he’s sure making this sound and look real. “So, if you would, please raise your glasses. Here’s to Reid and Camille. Together, may you both find your way, fall in love every single day, and always listen to what your heart has to say—it’ll never steer you wrong.”

  Everyone raises their glass and takes a sip.

  “Now, go make me an uncle!”

  Laughter erupts, but the lump in my throat is so large I can barely breathe.

  Stepping off the stage, he walks to Camille first and gives her a kiss on the cheek. They don’t exchange any words, just smiling at each other with a warmth that comes from an established friendship, and I find I’m slightly jealous, which is just dumb. In front of me, he stands eye to eye, and I’m at a loss for words.

  I’ll be the first person to admit I have a marriage phobia, but that’s not what this is. This is fake, a
means to an end. Chivalry is not dead. I did it for her, so why does this moment with my brother in front of me, Camille holding my hand, tucked into my side with the stars above us suddenly feel so real?

  “N-Nate,” I stammer.

  “Not here.” He claps me on the shoulder. “It was good to see you. I’m glad you were able to make it.” He chuckles, glancing at Camille and back. “Make sure you tell Mom sooner rather than later. I don’t want to be there when you do.”

  Mom. I haven’t even thought about her yet. He laughs at my expression, and Camille’s hand tightens around mine.

  Looking down, I see tired lines are etched around her face. Her spark has faded, and I know it’s time to go. I let go of her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulders. She wraps hers around my waist.

  “We’re gonna take off.” I clear my throat. “Thanks for the toast. It was unexpected, and it meant more than you know.” It’s true, although I’m still trying to sort through his words.

  He wraps his arms around both of us, slaps me on the back, winks at Camille, and then walks away.

  Today has been a long day.

  Seeing our chance for escape, Camille and I walk quickly through the house and out the front door.

  The car is still parked out front, and the driver jumps when he sees us.

  “Should we say goodbye to your grandfather?” I glance at her to gauge her thoughts.

  “No.” She shakes her head. “He’ll understand.”

  We slip into the back, and the car pulls away very quietly. I wonder how long it will take them to realize she’s not even there anymore. Oh well. Good riddance. She’s better off with me, a complete stranger, than that horrible crowd.

  “Reid.” Her voice is soft, but I hear her and look down. “Can we just drive around for a while?” she asks, leaning into me.

  “Of course, princess.”