Echoes of Love

by Rosie Rushton

  ‘Cameron and me – we’re engaged!’

  ‘You’re what?’ Anna’s mouth dropped open and she stared at Phoebe in disbelief.

  ‘You mustn’t breathe a word to a soul,’ Phoebe ordered her. ‘I mean, Louisa and Hen know but —’

  ‘Which means that by tomorrow the whole of Facebook and half of Twitter will be on the case,’ Anna interrupted. ‘But Phoebe – what does your mum say?’

  ‘I haven’t told her yet,’ Phoebe said. ‘That’s why I can’t wear the ring. It’s kind of tricky. She doesn’t approve of Cameron. Neither does Zac. But that’s just because they are so prejudiced.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘His age, his lifestyle, the fact that he’s been married before . . . Well, still is, kind of, but . . .’

  ‘Married?’ Anna gasped. ‘But . . .’

  ‘It happens,’ Phoebe butted in defensively. ‘It wasn’t his fault. And the divorce will be through soon. Poor guy, he says that Alison was so controlling . . .’

  ‘Phoebe, you’re crazy – I mean, what about uni?’

  Phoebe looked sheepish.

  ‘Don’t tell me . . . Oh come on, you are still going?’

  ‘Cameron says there’s no point,’ Phoebe said. ‘Like, he’s got so many contacts and he can get me a job at the drop of a hat. Not that I’ll need to work.’

  Anna stood there, open-mouthed, shaking her head.

  ‘Well, aren’t you going to congratulate me?’ Phoebe asked. ‘Or is it that you’re jealous?’

  ‘Of course it’s not. I think you’re mad but I guess if it’s what you really want, then good luck – and congratulations! Does Jamie know?’

  Phoebe looked at her and frowned. ‘No – why would he?’

  ‘You’ll have to tell him before he hears it from the twins. You owe him that at least.’

  ‘Why? He’s nothing to me any more.’

  ‘No, but you’re a hell of a lot to him. He’ll be home in a couple of days . . . I met his mum in town and she told me. He’s been doing loads of auditions and he’s landed a part in The Bill. He’s coming back for a break before filming starts.’

  ‘Let’s hope that gets him off my back then,’ Phoebe retorted. ‘He’s still sending emails and cards and soppy poems. Sad or what?’

  ‘That’s what people do when they really care,’ Anna sighed. She turned to leave and then paused. ‘And you will tell your mum? And Zac?’ At least, she thought, they might be able to make her see sense.

  ‘Soon,’ Phoebe said. ‘When Cameron can come up and hold my hand. Not that it will make any difference. I’m not like you; I know what I want and no way am I changing my mind because of something my mother says.’ She flicked her hair over her shoulders and looked at Anna. ‘I would have thought you would understand that more than anyone.’

  Following her down into the garden, Anna had to acknowledge that she had a point.

  CHAPTER 15

  ‘If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty . . .’

  ( Jane Austen, Persuasion)

  THE FESTIVAL WAS INI FULL SWING. THE CHARIOT RACE had been a great success, although Charlie’s kart lost a wheel on Stocks Hill, and he and Felix ended up pushing it to the finishing post, Felix using only his good hand and some very colourful language. The carnival procession had wound its way through the villages of Kellynch and Drayton Magna, the fancy-dress competition was underway in the Memorial Gardens and, at Hampton House, Wild Chicks were nearing the end of their one-hour slot.

  For Anna, it was a surreal experience; the band was playing on the verandah that had, until so recently, been as familiar to her as the rest of her home, but was now bedecked, not with urns full of the trailing fuchsias her mother had loved so much, but with Japanese Cheya lanterns, a couple of sculpted heads in marble and a tinkling water feature of the variety that her father would be sure to call naff.

  The lawn, which had once been mown to bowling-green precision, was sprouting daisies and dandelions and several oriental wind chimes had been hung from the trees by the shepherd’s hut. The whole place was swarming with people, eating cream teas, admiring the garden or simply lounging around listening to the music and enjoying the continuing heat wave.

  Twice she had played a wrong note because she had allowed her eyes to scan the garden in the hope of catching sight of Felix, although why she was putting herself through the agony, she couldn’t work out.

  It was halfway through ‘Hang On To My Heart’ that she looked up briefly and there he was, leaning against an apple tree and staring straight at her. Their eyes met and he didn’t look away. A breeze caught the corner of her sheet music and she reached out to secure it. When she looked up, he had turned away, and was laughing out loud, that deep, throaty laugh she remembered so well.

  And the girl whose hand he was taking and who was gazing up at him with wide-eyed adoration, was Louisa Musgrove.

  ‘Anna?’

  The band had ended its session and Anna was about to follow the others in search of cold drinks, when Ruth touched her on the shoulder.

  ‘Look,’ Ruth began before Anna had the chance to open her mouth. ‘I don’t have a clue about the ins and outs of what went on between you and Felix, but I do know this.’

  Anna waited for the verbal onslaught that she felt sure was coming.

  ‘You’re clearly much loved round here – and when us old fogies interfere in the lives of you young people, it very often ends in tears,’ she declared. ‘I can only guess at what went on between you and Felix – he won’t talk about it.’

  She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand and glanced down the garden. ‘Interestingly though, when I suggested that he might like Joseph and me to take him away somewhere for a bit, he was very quick to say he wanted to hang around here.’

  She nodded in the direction of where Louisa and Felix were still laughing and joking together. ‘He seems to be making friends,’ she commented. ‘Mind you, he won’t find it easy.’

  ‘Sorry – what do you mean?’

  Ruth smiled. ‘I’ve spent all my married life travelling the world with Joseph,’ she explained. ‘And you know what? I think that back home, I probably have two friends. Lots of acquaintances, of course, but just two friends.’ She looked at Anna, her smile fading. ‘It takes a very special kind of person to sustain a friendship across long distances,’ she said. ‘They say life is always easier for the person going away than for the one left behind.’ She looked again at Felix. ‘But you know, I’ve never been sure that is true at all. Sometimes you come home with such expectations, such hopes . . . Oh there you are, Joseph darling! Did you get the ice cubes?’

  The moment was broken and Anna was left to reflect on what Ruth had actually been trying to say.

  * * *

  ‘Anna? Hi, how are you doing?’

  Anna was about to get into her car to drive back to Magpie Cottage and change for the ceilidh when she heard the familiar voice.

  ‘Jamie! You’re back – great to see you. Congratulations, by the way – you must be over the moon.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘The TV part,’ Anna replied.

  ‘Oh. Yes. Thanks. Have you heard that Phoebe’s got . . .’ His voice faltered.

  ‘Engaged?’ Anna asked gently. ‘She told you then?’

  ‘No, I overheard Henrietta and Leo talking, and I caught the words “Phoebe” and “engagement” – so I got Leo to tell me. I just can’t bear it.’

  His jaw was grinding and he looked as if he was about to burst into tears.

  ‘I know it must be hard, but you’ve not been together for some time now and . . .’

  ‘Anna, when you love like I love, you don’t get over it,’ Jamie said dramatically. ‘I’ll never find another girl like Phoebe, never.’

  ‘Of course you will, and one who will treat you better,’ Anna replied resolutely. ‘The th
eatrical world must be full of great girls.’

  ‘None as great as Feebs.’

  Time, Anna thought, for a change of conversation.

  ‘Are you coming to the ceilidh tonight?’

  ‘I don’t know that I can bear it – not if Phoebe’s going to be there.’

  ‘She’s not, she’s gone back to London.’

  ‘To be with him, I suppose,’ Jamie sighed.

  ‘Come,’ Anna said firmly. ‘And that’s an order, OK? I’m relying on you.’

  Normally, Anna loved to dance but she simply couldn’t get in the mood. Jamie had turned up and then sat, morose and silent, by the bar staring into space, Louisa monopolised Felix, and Henrietta was all over Leo. She had hoped Shannon and the others would stay for the evening, but they had other plans.

  Anna was in the loo, which was really a Portakabin outside the parish hall, when she heard familiar voices through the open skylight window.

  ‘If Mallory moans one more time about nobody eating her flaming flapjacks this afternoon, I’ll scream.’

  That was Louisa.

  ‘Honestly, how Charlie puts up with her, I’ll never know,’ she went on. ‘She’s so stuck up, just like Gaby. Anna’s OK – although she’s a bit of a pushover. But then, from what I hear, you know all about that.’

  Anna held her breath. Louisa must be talking to Felix.

  ‘I’ll tell you what, though,’ she said. ‘No one on earth would make me do something I didn’t want to do. Mum tries from time to time but she usually gives up with me. Hen is far more obedient!’

  She laughed and Anna could just imagine the effect that those immaculately even white teeth, and that flawless skin and her piercingly blue eyes would have on Felix.

  ‘But talking about Anna, you know what my mum says? She thinks . . .’

  What her mother thought, Anna was never to discover because Louisa’s words were drowned out by someone banging on the loo door and demanding to know whether Anna had died in there. She stood at the washbasin, letting water trickle over her hands and gazing in the mirror in a trance. A pushover? Was that how people saw her? It wasn’t true – and how could Louisa say such a thing to Felix of all people?

  As she wandered disconsolately back into the hall, Henrietta came bounding up to her, closely followed by Leo, balancing two over-full glasses of wine.

  ‘Anna, wait! Isn’t it amazing? I can’t wait, can you?’ She grabbed Anna by the arm. ‘At first Mum wasn’t going to let me and Lou go, but . . .’

  ‘Hen, I don’t have the remotest idea what you are on about,’ Anna sighed, not really in the mood to play along.

  ‘Didn’t Zac call you?’ Henrietta frowned. ‘He and Sula are having this kind of house party next weekend. It’s so cool.’

  Anna was about to reply when, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Louisa and Felix coming back into the hall, hand in hand.

  ‘It’s going to be great,’ Henrietta babbled on. ‘He said he’d invite Leo and me, of course, Charlie and Mallory, Louisa and Felix . . .’

  So their names are coupled together already, Anna thought, feeling sick and tearful at the same time.

  ‘He probably won’t invite me,’ Anna said quickly, playing for time.

  ‘Don’t be silly, of course he will,’ Henrietta said. ‘Zac likes you a lot.’ She paused, glancing over to the bar where Jamie was still sitting, slumped over a lager. ‘And Jamie, of course,’ she said, ‘so it won’t all be couples.’

  ‘Are you going to Zac’s?’ Felix asked Anna a few moments later while the others were dancing.

  ‘I’m not sure.’ She wanted to add ‘Do you want me to?’ but didn’t dare.

  ‘So what’s the problem?’ Felix asked. ‘Do you have to ask your father’s permission to attend a party where I’m going to be a guest?’

  ‘No,’ Anna said wearily. ‘And you know what? Your snide remarks are getting very boring. I kind of think you’re the one who needs to grow up.’

  With that, she turned and walked out of the hall. She couldn’t believe she’d said that, but she realised that she meant it. As she reached her car, her hands were shaking so much that she could hardly get the key into the lock. As she fumbled she heard footsteps behind her. Turning, she came face to face with Felix.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said and then he grinned. ‘But I’m glad I made that stupid remark.’

  ‘Really? I can’t think why.’

  ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I saw a glimpse of my feisty Anna. Anyway, gotta go – promised to walk the twins home.’

  She sat in the car for several minutes before switching on the ignition. And all the way back to Magpie Cottage, one phrase kept reverberating round and round in her head.

  ‘My feisty Anna. My feisty Anna.’

  My Anna.

  It was probably just a slip of the tongue, she thought. But I was once his. And what he doesn’t realise is that I still am. And somehow, it feels like I always will be.

  CHAPTER 16

  ‘What is to be done next? What, in heaven’s name, is to be done next?’

  ( Jane Austen, Persuasion)

  ‘COOL PLACE THIS, ISN’T IT?’

  It was late on Friday afternoon, and all of them, along with a handful of Sula’s mates, were hanging out in the garden at Wings, Sula’s house, overlooking the harbour at Lyme Regis. They were drinking Pimm’s and making plans when a tall, fair-haired guy with an almost too perfect suntan came and flopped down on the grass beside Anna.

  ‘Hi there!’ he said. ‘I’m Hugo – Hugo Fanshawe.’

  ‘Anna Eliot,’ Anna smiled. ‘So – are you a friend of Sula?’

  ‘We were at school together – Eastbourne College,’ he replied. ‘Then she went to uni in Newcastle, I went to Brighton and we haven’t seen one another for months. I see she’s got a new boyfriend.’

  He nodded in their direction; Zac was standing, arm draped round Sula’s shoulder, talking to Jamie and Felix.

  ‘You live in Eastbourne?’ Anna queried. ‘My dad’s just moved there – to Sovereign Harbour.’

  ‘Hey, small world!’ Hugo said. ‘My parents live at Alfriston – we’ve got a boat at Sovereign Harbour. We must get together and I’ll take you sailing!’

  His confidence both irritated and fascinated Anna. And he was extremely good-looking.

  ‘So do you know the Hendersons? And the Dalrymples? They’re friends of my dad’s.’

  ‘Come sailing with me, and I’ll introduce you to the right crowd,’ Hugo replied. ‘Proper sailors, none of this messing about on Sundays as long as the wind isn’t more than force three!’

  Despite his sarcastic tone, she couldn’t help smiling. Her father had often said the same thing about weekend sailors, saying that the only thing worse was weekend drivers towing caravans.

  ‘By the way, are you here with someone?’ Hugo asked.

  ‘Yes, I came with the Musgroves – that’s Charlie over there, and . . .’

  ‘I meant, are you with someone,’ he emphasised. ‘A boyfriend.’

  Anna paused, watching out of the corner of her eye as Louisa, glass in hand, perched herself on Felix’s knee. ‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘No, I’m not.’

  ‘This weekend,’ Hugo said, ‘is looking better by the minute.’

  It was, Anna thought an hour later, when everyone had moved indoors to shelter from a sudden thunderstorm, rather nice to have someone’s undivided attention. Hugo was a bit full of himself, but he was good company, plying her with questions about her life and appearing genuinely interested in her music, her upcoming uni course and her career ambitions.

  ‘Say, that guy over there, the stocky one who keeps looking at you – I swear I’ve seen him somewhere. Who is he?’

  ‘That’s Jamie Benwick,’ Anna explained. ‘He’s been on TV – and he’s in the new ZingaLing chewing gum ad. He used to go out with Zac’s sister.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ Anna said, as Jamie caught her eye and made hi
s way towards her. ‘And best if you don’t mention it.’

  ‘Hi!’ Jamie said, ‘It’s stopped raining and so we’re all going down to the Cobb – are you coming?’

  ‘Sure!’ Anna agreed and looked questioningly at Hugo. ‘You too?’

  ‘Count me in,’ he said.

  Anna was glad that Hugo was coming. She liked him, even though he didn’t seem to be the brightest guy in the world.

  Well, Anna thought, you can’t have everything, I guess. Hot body, charm and brains might be too much to ask for.

  There was only one person she knew who managed all three effortlessly.

  As they all set off to the harbour – which Anna had explained to Hugo was known as the Cobb – they were walking past the new lifeboat station when Hugo stopped dead in his tracks.

  ‘Damn!’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Forgot my mobile,’ he said. ‘I must go and get it – I’m expecting a call about a job. You go ahead – I’ll catch up with you in a bit.’

  Hugo had hardly moved three paces away when Jamie launched into a tale of woe about Phoebe.

  ‘I only came because I thought she would be here,’ he sighed. ‘But Zac says she and Cameron have gone to Umbria. I could never afford to take her somewhere like that. I just can’t believe . . .’

  ‘Jamie, listen. You don’t want to get boring,’ Anna said, as they began climbing the steps up to the outer wall. ‘I mean, I know you’re upset but life goes on, and you’ve got a great career and —’

  ‘That’s what everyone says,’ Jamie replied. ‘But you don’t understand. It’s not just losing Phoebe, it’s knowing that if I was a different sort of person she might still be with me.’

  Anna said nothing, knowing that he’d explain what he meant in his own good time but rather hoping he wouldn’t.

  ‘I’m an only child, no brothers or sisters,’ he said. ‘And the only thing I’ve ever been any good at is drama. My mum has always dreamed of me being a star – and when I got the part in Emmerdale, she was as excited as if I’d landed Hamlet in the West End!’