Once a Hero

by Raine Cantrell

  Outlaw butted his nose in the middle of Kee’s back and shoved him outside.

  “Damn horse. How come you’re siding with her?”

  There was no anger, nor heat. The horse had more sense than he did. Someone had to protect Isabel from him, and he was the only one present.

  He had to keep remembering that Isabel was not a rain-filled pool to slake his thirst and then leave behind. She was more like a deep, sweet well, that with care, would flow endlessly to give life to a man.

  It was thoughts like these that were driving him crazy. He had to stop thinking about her in terms of a forever kind of woman, when he wanted to be a today kind of man.

  He reminded himself yet again that she trusted him. Hell of a burden to put on a man who didn’t trust himself.

  Kee’s hand went to his money belt and he pressed against the disk. She’d been as vague about this as everything else until he forced her to answer.

  And she never had shown him the map he believed worthless.

  The sooner he helped her find the gold, if it was possible, the sooner they could part company.

  That was a plan.

  The plan of a desperate man, he told himself as he went back to the fire.

  She had spread out a blanket for him. Her own, she had placed as far from his as she could and still keep within reach of the fire’s warmth.

  “Are you sleeping, Isabel?”

  She lay so still with her eyes closed that he had to ask.

  “I wish I could be.”

  “We need to talk. Not about us,” he quickly added when her eyes flew open and targeted him.

  “I want to look at your map now. Even if the landmarks changed, I still might be able to figure out where the mine is. You know that the sooner we try getting to that gold, the quicker we can get out of these mountains. And you’ll be safe.”

  Isabel heard him, but she silently felt his desire to be rid of her. She sat up slowly, drawing the blanket around her shoulders. The damp spots on his shirt told her he had been out in the rain. A few drops still glistened in his hair. She felt his restlessness and the tension that held him so still.

  She threw a few small pieces of wood on the fire, staring at the flames.

  “Isabel?” Kee stepped closer, and now he could see that she had been crying. Her lashes were wet, spiked together above the sheen of her blue eyes. The thought that he had been the cause sent a pang through him. He could no more stop himself from moving around the fire to her than he could stop breathing.

  He dropped to his knees and cupped her cheek to turn her face toward him. The moment he touched her he knew he was piling up grief for himself.

  “If I made you shed tears, I’m sorry. Seems I’m saying that a lot to you. I’ve never deliberately hurt a woman. I never want to hurt you.”

  She reached up to touch the errant lock of hair that fell over his forehead. Tell him! a little voice demanded. Tell him about Clarai’s obsession. Tell him that your need to protect his life overshadows your desire for him.

  “I know you would never hurt me. I know a great deal about you, Kee. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust you.”

  “Don’t, Isabel,” he whispered, then closed his eyes against the truth of her words that he saw in her eyes.

  “But I must. You need to know that.” It is so little to give you.

  Her fingertips trailed down the side of his face. To her, even the rough beard stubble that added to his dark and dangerous appearance was pleasurable to touch. Everything about him was pleasing to her eyes, and a temptation to her senses. His scent was of the rain-swept night, and she inhaled deeply, bringing a flush to tint her skin.

  Kee noted the slight flare of her nostrils that mimicked his own. He watched her unconscious move to moisten her bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. The wavering firelight played over her face, a face whose changing expressions he hadn’t grown tired of watching.

  “Talk to me, lovely lady. Talk is safer for both of us.”

  “Oh, Kee,” she whispered still cupping his face, “safe is one of the things I have felt since I met you.”

  He moved without thought to bring her hand to his mouth and nip the fleshy pad below her thumb. He saw the darkening flare in her eyes and did it again. Then, remembering his promise to himself, he set her hand in her lap.

  “Safe wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.” He could not seem to stop himself from touching her, and smoothed back a few loose tendrils of hair that had escaped her braid.

  “But it is true, Kee. Out there you make me feel very safe being with you.”

  “And in here?”

  “In here you present every dangerous temptation that my grandmother, the good sisters and the padre warned against.”

  “So,” he teased, “I’m safe, but dangerous and a temptation to you?”

  “And dependable. Trustworthy, too. A man of honor, Kee. That is who you are.”

  “Quit now, Isabel. You’re making more of me than I am.”

  “No.” She shook her head to enforce that denial. “You are all of those things. You are goodness and kindness, too. And you have within you, Kee, a gentleness that is more powerfully appealing than another’s strength.”

  He had to look away for a moment. “Isabel, you can burden a man with words like those.”

  “I did not mean to. I only spoke the truth. What I feel in my heart.”

  Kee shifted so they sat with their hips touching. He slipped his hand beneath her braid, cupping the back of her neck as he drew her closer so her head rested on his shoulder.

  “Kee, your wound,” she protested.

  “Doesn’t hurt a bit. I just want to hold you. Need to, since we’re into truth telling. Can’t get into too much trouble sitting like this.”

  Isabel was not sure about that. He stroked her braid but she felt the smooth move of his hand caressing her back. She wanted and needed this holding as much as Kee. Here there was a peace for her, listening to the faint sound of the dripping rain, the crackle of the fire, Kee’s steady breathing. There was warmth, too, from the soft wool blanket, and the fire. But from Kee’s body came heat and the strength that silently whispered she could lean against him. For a little while she could mentally shut the door on the worries and fears that gnawed at her.

  Kee wanted to talk, and she had told him she knew a great deal about the man he was. She believed it. She knew the man, but not where he had come from, or who were the people that mattered in his life. The ones who had shaped this man who meant more to her than she could tell him.

  “Tell me about your family. How did the Kincaids come to adopt you?”

  “My real folks never had much. They had spent too many years trying to make worn-out land pay and it cost them what little they had put by. It was too late to join one of the wagon trains, so we headed out west on our own.”

  “You had no other family to help you, Kee?”

  “Nope. Just the three of us making do. But we met up with another family that had a boy a little younger than me and we traveled a good piece together.

  “Wasn’t far above Apache Junction when they found some color in a stream. They started to pan for gold and the Apaches attacked, killed our folks and left Marty and me orphans. Sagebrush orphans they called kids like us.”

  “But how did you survive, Kee, if you were only a boy and with another child to care for?” She started to lift her head, but his hand held her in place.

  “Stay where you are, Isabel. It’s a perfect fit.” He brushed his fingertips over the delicate curve of her ear and barely caught the soft contented sound she made before he went back to his story.

  “Surviving wasn’t all that hard. My pa hailed out of the Tennessee woods and taught me all he knew. I’d been hunting meat for the table as soon as I could hold up the shooting end of a rifle. And when you’re given two bullets to bring home supper, you learn to make them count or you and your family go hungry.

  “That’s where I was that day the Indians atta
cked. I was hunting with Marty, trying to teach him a few things. Poor kid had been raised in a city and didn’t know the first thing about moving quietly in the woods or setting a snare. The Apache had run off all the stock, and burned one of the wagons. We had a place to stay, had water, and,” he said with a laugh, “we discovered this widow who kept chickens. Marty sure had a fondness for chickens and eggs. I bartered fish and rabbit, sometimes venison.

  “Truth was, Jessie, who’s my mother now, she didn’t exactly know we were kids. We kept out of her sight most of the times until the day we found Logan Kincaid. Marty was scared into stuttering so bad I could hardly understand him.”

  “You love him. I hear it in your voice.”

  “Yeah. I love him. We’ve become close as brothers although we don’t see each other much these days. Turned out his father came from a wealthy family and with his death Marty inherited businesses and stocks that keep him in Chicago a lot.”

  She heard the regret in his voice, and thought of what being loved by Kee would mean to a woman. She would never worry about having her man beside her no matter what joy or troubles were there to be shared.

  She was drawn from her thoughts by Kee sliding his hand beneath her braid and rubbing every bit of tension from her back. She made a kittenlike sound of utter contentment and nuzzled her face against his chest. She knew she should move, it would be safer for both of them, but his very gentleness held her there.

  “Talk to me, please, Kee.”

  “I thought I was.”

  She could not help but smile. “With words, Kee, with words.”

  “Anything the lady wants. Let’s see…Marty and me were on our own for a few weeks when we found Logan. He had been left for dead by a mean bunch. We figured he was dead ’cause they took everything worth having from him. There we were, two scared kids, and yes, I was more scared than Marty and trying hard not to show it. We were going to bury him so the buzzards wouldn’t get him.

  “Neither one of us wanted to touch him, so I was using the rifle stock to sort of dig around his body, and Marty was green as grass when all of a sudden Logan started moving. Marty’s thinking how brave I am for standing my ground. Truth was, I’d never been so scared. I didn’t know what to do with him. I mean, he was hurt bad.

  “And then I remembered Pa saying that every woman wants a man of her own.” Kee stopped, and then he laughed.

  “From that I gather this Jessie was not pleased with your idea.”

  “I found that out later. Much later. The outlaws Logan had been riding with were still looking for him. Seems their boss wanted to see the body for himself. There were some scary times before Logan took me and Marty home with him. And Jessie. He sure did take to that widow. Wasn’t any kin back home, so when he asked if I wanted to be part of his family, what kid wouldn’t say yes. Took me in like I was born one of them. Grandmother, uncles, aunt and even a new baby.”

  “And you would do anything for them?” She knew the answer. This man would give his love and his loyalty to his family. She loved this Kee, with his soft, husky voice, and the smile that curved the masculine cut of his lips. Memories had brought a gleam to his eyes. He was a man a woman could search for and never find. Unless she was very lucky. With a deep sigh she turned her thoughts away from what could be.

  “Your family is wealthy, Kee?”

  “They have enough. My uncle Conner is a lawman. Uncle Ty and my dad run the ranch and oversee the mines. Aunt Dixie and my mother look after everything else including a brood of children. Reina—she’s Ty and Dixie’s oldest—is a little hellion in the making. She is always getting into scrapes.”

  “And you get her out of them?”

  “Wise, wise, Isabel. What’s a fella to do? She turns her big brown eyes in my direction and I’m helpless as a new foal. Her brothers Justin and James are no better. Trouble is, they’re all teaching little Macaria, that’s my uncle Conner’s oldest girl, every trick they’ve learned.” He sighed, and allowed the memories of the years past to flow over him.

  “You miss your family, Kee?” Isabel lifted her head, needing to see him.

  “Yes, I’ve been away almost a year this time and my grandmother grows old. You’d like her, Isabel. She is a truly strong woman. Macaria held her land and her family against a man who wanted to destroy them all. They are a family that stands together and it’s a gift I’ve never taken lightly that I carry their name. When Marty’s aunt came west searching for her brother and discovered that he was dead, she believed that Logan had kidnapped her nephew. She really made Conner put his family loyalty on the line and against the badge he wore.

  “Marty and I had lied to them and said we were cousins without any kinfolks. It just seemed easier that way. Marty didn’t know about his aunt. I told you there was a great deal of wealth involved, and Belinda was ready to use it against the Kincaids if they refused to give him up.

  “Not one balked at using anything and everything they had to protect that child. As it turned out, Conner solved the problem.”

  “Conner, he is the lawman?”

  “That he is, and a man I respect.”

  “What did he do to her?”

  “Fell in love and married her. They’re awaiting the birth of their third child last I heard. Letters have a hard time catching up when a man’s on the move. I might even have two new sisters and a brother when I get back home. Jessie and Logan weren’t blessed with children of their own. They adopted these three from an orphanage back East.”

  She gently pulled back a little from him, but Kee did not release his hold on her. His hand dropped to the small of her back, fingers tightening a bit to keep her near.

  “What’s wrong, Isabel?”

  “I hear so much in your words and voice. I believe I understand now why the gold I seek holds no lure for you.”

  “I’m as fond of money for what it can buy as the next man. I just don’t like risking my neck to be richer than I need be.”

  “It is because the Kincaids have money. When there is no need, no desperation, no threat about to seize all you have ever known, it is easy to walk away. But I wonder, if you faced what I do, if you would feel the same.”

  Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn’t looking at him. Kee saw the play of firelight gleam on her lashes and brows, black and thick like a raven’s feathers. Her lips appeared darker, redder where she bit them. Someone needed to take her in hand about that habit.

  A mouth like hers required a delicate care. He roughly shook his head, a reminder to stop straying into forbidden territory.

  “Isabel, I said I would help you any way I can. I can’t offer you more than a willing back and my word. I’ll find your gold and see you safe home with it. And to that end, show me the map.”

  “Kee, you have already seen it.”

  “Seen it? The disk? That’s your map?”

  “It is worthless to anyone else but me. I told you my grandfather brought me here once. If you are not standing at the head of the gully and holding the disk up to the rising sun, you will never find the entrance to the mine.”

  “That’s why you were so upset when I told you about the quake changing the landmarks.”

  “Yes.”

  There was a world of defeat in that one word. And it touched him in ways that he didn’t want to name. Not even to himself.

  He caught hold of her arms and dragged her close while he came to his knees and looked down into her eyes.

  “I swear to you that whatever it takes, I’ll be with you. No matter how long.”

  Her hands came up, pressing against the corded muscles of his belly. Her head fell back, throat bared to him.

  “No matter what you have to do, Kee?” she demanded with a burst of fury. “And will you kill, too?” She cried out at his tightening grip that pressed through cloth and skin to bone. “Oh, God, Kee, I am sorry! I did not mean that! I swear I did not mean that!”

  She looked into eyes that smoldered with anger, and if she needed confirmation there was
his rigid jaw and the savage curve of his lips.

  She went still, even her breathing was a shallow draw that barely stirred the air. He was ready to explode into violence.

  “Damn you,” he said through gritted teeth in a hair-raising whisper.

  “I did not mean it,” she pleaded.

  “Doesn’t matter. We both know it’s the truth. That is what it will come down to.”

  “Kee, please—” He released her so suddenly that she fell back and before she could scramble to her feet he was gone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kee needed cooling off before his temper exploded. The rain-swept night was the best place for him.

  He stumbled over rocks until he had put distance between himself and Isabel, but kept the cave’s opening in view.

  His beliefs were simple. The world was black and white in that there was no evil so petty that it should go unpunished, just as there was no kindness so small that it should pass without thanks.

  He wasn’t so much angry with Isabel, as with himself. She had only voiced a question he’d been asking himself.

  One he didn’t have an answer to.

  Three years ago the frontier had been declared closed. But that was the opinion of lawmakers back East. They didn’t live with cattle rustlers and horse thieves, bank and railroad robbers. Men out here in the territories carried guns. They were more than ready to use them against any threat to families and possessions.

  Each year talk circulated about forming up a company of rangers like they had had for years down in Texas. The rangers were needed to patrol the vast and hostile wilderness that folks back East couldn’t or wouldn’t understand.

  And how could anyone make them understand? They had city streets lit by gas, or homes, like Marty’s, lit with electricity. Trouble, call the nearest policeman. Out here, if trouble came to a man, he could ride three days without seeing another soul.

  Civilized ways were coming; there never was a way to stop progress. Prescott boasted the first ice-cream parlor in the territory. Fine hotels and fancy restaurants could be found in every city and large town. Churches and schools, what his mother called “the foundations of civilization” dotted the land, even if most were just one room where all grades were taught.