“I hope you feel better; we’ll talk soon.” The phone went dead, and he was so hurried, I figured he was still frustrated with me. I didn’t blame him.
Chloe knocked on the door. “Lauren, are you okay in there?”
“Yeah.” I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes before opening the door. “I’m fine.”
“Did you tell him?”
“No, I couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time. I will tell him later. I promise. I need time to process this for myself and figure out what it means to me.”
“I think you’re making a big mistake. You can’t keep this from him for too long. He has a right to know, and in about four months, you won’t be able to hide it.” Chloe had always seen my side of things, but she also didn’t know much about me and Gage and our recent argument.
“It’s not just him that I’m worried about. I’d told him I wanted to tell Noah about us sooner. Now, not only will he have to find out about us sneaking around, but I can’t hide a pregnancy from him.”
“Yeah, that’s another reason to tell Gage, and then, you both can talk to your brother.”
“He’s going to be so disappointed in me, he might not ever speak to me again. And Gage? They’ve been friends since they were boys. This betrayal is going to cut deep.”
“You’re upset, and you’re not thinking clearly. Your brother loves you. He’s going to be excited to be an uncle, and what better father for his sister’s child than his best friend?”
“I know all of that, but you don’t know how angry he’s going to be about the lies. I’ve not only lied to him about Gage, but about my affair with Craig. I tried to get Gage to come clean, but he didn’t want to, and then he wanted me to meet his daughter, and I wasn’t ready for that, either. I think I’ve messed everything up because I don’t know what I want.” Gage was thinking about retiring and staying home with Olivia, but would I want to be a stay-at-home mom and give up my career before I met my goals? Would Gage even give me that option?
“Then take a day, but you need to figure this out soon. Trust me, Lauren. It will all work out.”
“I wish I had your confidence.” I felt like my entire life was one big mess.
Chapter 21
Gage
Another week had gone by, and I could tell that my relationship with Lauren was dwindling even more. I found myself longing for her and missing her more than ever, but I had a feeling she’d found out that I’d told Noah about Craig, and I couldn’t blame her if that was the reason she was angry.
Since I couldn’t ask her right out without incriminating myself, I decided to call and ask her about the cabin. I still owed her my end of the bargain, which was doing a little work on the cabin for free. The trade-off was easy enough for me, I had lots of material lying around and could fix her up at no real cost, but it all depended on what she wanted to be done.
There was only one way to find out. I dialed her number and waited as the phone rang. Just as I thought it was going to voicemail, she said hello.
“Lauren, hey.”
“Hi, Gage.” She let out a sigh, and I heard a door close. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks, aside from missing you.”
“I’ve been really busy. I’m on a new case, and my boss is sending me to New York for a trial.”
“Oh? Sounds like you’re a busy woman.” That was the point, though. If she was busy, then she had no time for that visit she’d been putting off. I felt it best to get right to the point, even though I wanted nothing more than to talk and flirt like we used to. “I want to thank you for the work you did, and I figured I better see what you want to be done in the cabin. I’m still prepared to hold up my end of the bargain.”
She made a dismal sound. “I really don’t know. You know you don’t have to do anything.”
“No, I’m going to fix, build, and refinish anything you want. I don’t back out on deals.”
“I don’t have time to come and make a list.”
“Just tell me something. Anything. I could do a nice set of bookshelves in the living room, maybe something like a reading nook or maybe put in a new window seat. Those are some of the things your father had tossed around.”
“Really? A reading nook? I don’t know. Why don’t you just go to the cabin and knock yourself out? You know more about that kind of stuff than I do, and if you think there’s something that you could do until you feel we’re square, then that’s fine. Reed has a spare key, so I’ll call and have him let you in.”
“I’d rather do something you’d want. Like a special project.” I wanted her to tell me so I felt like the bargain was even.
“I don’t have time, Gage. I wish I did, trust me, but you really don’t have to do anything. I didn’t mind helping with the contract if it kept you out of a bad deal.”
“And I just want to show my appreciation.”
“Do whatever you want. Call it a gift.” She gave a little laugh, and while it was nice to hear, I couldn’t help but notice it was half-hearted.
“Okay, I’ll do whatever, but remember you asked for it. I hope you like it.”
“I’ll love it. I know you won’t do me wrong.”
“Do I need to send the plans your way? Or can I give you a surprise?” I was never one to like a surprise myself. I was always too anxious on Christmas morning because I knew the gifts were coming. If I had no idea, it was even worse. I never knew how to react.
“No, I like surprises. Just let me know if I owe you anything.”
“No, you won’t owe me a thing. And I’ll make sure you love it.” I wanted her to love it, and me too. If I could do something special enough, maybe I could win her over again.
“Thanks, Gage. So how did your friend take the news when you told him you were out of the deal?” I was surprised she wanted to keep talking, and I was prepared to keep her on the phone as long as I could. Hearing her voice, I realized I missed her so much more than I thought.
“He wasn’t too happy, and I think for the first time since the accident, he’s actually gone a few days without calling.” Maybe his hero worship was over.
“Well, I can’t believe he was trying to get you into that deal. You saved his life.”
I really felt he’d used it to try and keep me close. If I thought he felt indebted to me, then I would trust him to take care of me in return, even though he didn’t have my best interests at heart. “Yeah, it’s hard to tell who your real friends are at times.”
“Have you talked to Noah lately?” The question coming on the heels of that comment was a little fishy to me.
“Not in a few days. Why?” If she’d gotten an earful about her boss from him, then this was when she’d tell me. I prepared myself for a fight.
“Just wondering. Do you ever regret it, Gage?”
“The only thing I regret is how distant we are. I meant it when I said I miss you, Lauren. I know you’re busy, but I really want us to try and make some time. Olivia still wants to meet you and asks when you’re coming down.”
“How’s she adjusting?”
“Better. She’s learning my limits, which is a good thing. I haven’t had to spank her yet, which is surprising. She’s seen my wrath, though. I think the deep voice and hard eyes were a little surprising.”
Lauren laughed. “I can’t see you being mean like that to your little girl. You were always so nice to me when I was one.”
“You never poured a five-hundred-dollar bottle of French cologne into my toilet.”
“Oh no. Why did she do that?”
“Well, my toilet and sink are both black, so she was pretending it was a cauldron. The mouthwash and all of my toothpaste went in it, too, along with a plastic frog.”
“A plastic frog?”
“Yeah, the picture in her children’s book shows a frog in the pot. I’m just glad it didn’t show an eyeball.” I laughed thinking about it now, but I wouldn’t have at the time. “She’s a handful.”
“Would you really not like mor
e children?” She must have taken my earlier rant as truth.
“Not anytime soon, but I’d never say never.” I loved being a father, but Olivia with siblings wasn’t something I could imagine.
“Oh, I can understand that.” After a moment of silence, she let out a long breath. “I hate to cut this short, but I really need to get off of here. I’ve got to shower and pack and make a few million phone calls. Maybe we can talk once my plane lands.”
“Call or text anytime you want.” I wanted to scold her for not calling me, for not texting me during the day as she had been just weeks earlier. Instead, I didn’t want to argue. “Be safe, and have a good time in New York.”
“Thanks, Gage.” The phone went dead, and I sat there with it to my ear and closed my eyes. I needed to do something special to show her how much I cared about her and that I wanted her to be in my life.
I’d start with the cabin. I still had the plans somewhere, and I needed to pull them out of the files at the office and give them a look. There were a few things her father had wanted to be done, but I thought of that big window in her apartment and wondered if I could do something like that off the master bedroom, something to bring a bit of openness to the view outside, and maybe even the sky.
I made a few phone calls, and by the time I was done, my lead foreman from my local office was on his way over to meet me with the blueprints.
I walked through the house to find Olivia before he showed, but found Helen in the hallway instead. “Have you seen Ollie?”
“Olivia is in the kitchen with Ava, as usual.”
“Oh okay, good. I have an employee dropping by with some business, so I’ll be in my office. If you could deter her from coming in, I’d appreciate that.”
“I’ll try, but as you well know, I’m very busy with the cleaning. I can’t say I’ll have much time to keep my eye on the little angel.” Her tone was a bit crabby, and I didn’t like it.
“Helen, do you like children?”
“Children are like other people, sir. There are some who are tolerable and some who make life a bit less pleasant when they’re around.”
“And which kind of people would you classify my daughter as, exactly?”
“With proper attention and discipline, I’d think she’d be a bit more tolerable. I’d hoped that by giving her a gift, she’d come to like me, but I’ve found the opposite, actually. She listens even less now.”
I wondered if me doing the cabin was going to push Lauren even further away. The woman didn’t like my child.
“So, you find my child intolerable?”
“I find her incorrigible, but I believe it’s no matter. I am here to do the job I was hired for, and I’ve done it quite well. But let’s face the facts, Gage. Your father didn’t hire me to be a babysitter.”
“That might be true, but you were aware that with your job, as well as you living under this roof, that you’d be needed to perform other tasks. Me asking you to keep an eye on my daughter isn’t that big of a burden when you consider that you’ve lived under this roof for nearly twenty years.”
“You were a grown boy when I came; you hardly needed a nanny.”
“And my daughter isn’t going anywhere, so if this new situation isn’t to your liking, then you can go to your room and pack your things and find another house to clean.” I turned and walked away; I didn’t like her insinuating that my daughter wasn’t her problem when she lived under my roof with my family. After a moment, I heard her footsteps on the tile, and I wondered if she was going for a dust rag or her suitcase. Either way, I didn’t care, but she had better change her attitude.
I went into my office and was browsing the internet for some ideas when Glen arrived. “Hey, boss.”
“Come on in, Glen.”
He walked over and placed the prints on my desk. “I think this is what you wanted. We just did this job a couple of years ago. The place was solid; is there a problem?”
“No, it belongs to a friend of mine now. Mr. Patrick passed away, and the place belongs to his daughter. I owe her a favor or two, so I’m thinking of adding a large skylight, maybe one that extends to the wall. I’d like to give her a better view. It’s a surprise.”
“That sounds a tad romantic if you don’t mind me saying, Boss.” Glen was always a very perceptive man. If there was anyone I could trust with the job I wanted to do in her cabin, it was him. He’d taken special care of it once, and I knew his skills had only improved since.
“You might say that. She’s a special client, so we’re going to do this right.”
“What’s the budget?”
I gave him a sideward glance. “For her, the sky’s the limit.” I knew I only owed her so much, but I wanted to give her so much more.
Chapter 22
Lauren
I landed in New York and made it to my hotel room when Gage called. He’d caught me unpacking a few of my blouses and pantsuits to keep from looking like a wrinkled mess in the courtroom.
“I hope it’s not too soon to call, but honestly, Lauren, I couldn’t wait too much longer.” There was a smile in his voice, and it spread warmth through me.
“It’s fine, but I have you on speaker while I unpack, so speak up a bit.” His voice was always so low and rough, “panty-dropping sexy” was how I’d described it to Chloe.
“You said we could talk once you got to New York, and I guess I took it a little literally. If it’s a bad time, I can call you back, but I don’t much like the way things have been, and I’ve been thinking.”
“Did you get to call Reed about the keys to the cabin? I haven’t had time to call him.”
“Yeah, you can do that, but you don’t have to do it right now, do you? I’d like us to work something out. You know I’ve already promised Ollie she’d meet you.”
“And I will, I promise, but at the right time.”
“Well, I think it is the right time, Lauren. It’s time we decide what we want, and I’m hoping you want a relationship with me.”
“I do, Gage. But…” I left the sentence in the air because I didn’t quite know a good enough reason for buying time, other than I needed it. I needed to sort things out for myself. I had to tell him I was pregnant, and part of me wanted to blurt it out, but every time I’d think to do it, it was like something turned off my brain, and my tongue wouldn’t work.
Our whole relationship had been built around lies, and I was trying to figure out a way to make everything better without it hurting anyone.
“I know the problem is Noah, and the fact that we haven’t told him about what’s going on, baby, but I want you to know, I’ve thought about it, and if Noah can’t see that we’re perfect for one another and if he doesn’t think that I’m good enough, then maybe he’s not my best friend after all.”
My heart twisted into one huge knot, and although my morning sickness had ebbed slightly in the past week, I wanted to hurl.
“I’ll call him right now and tell him that you and I are going to be together—”
“No! Don’t do that!”
“Why not?” He let out a sound of frustration, and it vibrated through the phone.
Although I wanted Noah to know, I didn’t want them to stop being friends, and I wasn’t sure that Noah would understand how the two people who loved him most would betray him. He was already taking our father’s death hard, not to mention his high-pressure job could get to him now and then.
“You’re the one who wanted to tell him from the beginning; I’m just giving you what you want. I don’t mind calling and having a talk; we can work out the details.”
“No. Not now, Gage.”
“Dammit, Lauren. Seriously?” His voice boomed through the phone and sent a chill up my spine that had my head spinning.
“It’s just that—”
“Do you even care about me? I thought at the very least you did, but if there’s a problem and you don’t want to be with me, then I suggest you tell me now. Because when I hang up this phone, I’m not
trying again. The ball will be in your court, and I’m not sure I’ll be here. I’ve never been one to wait around for someone who doesn’t want me. Katrina broke me of that.”
I didn’t know what to say; I was so flabbergasted at the fact that he was angry with me and not letting me talk that all I could do was form my lips into silent words that were never spoken. He didn’t understand that I needed time because I’d never told him why.
“Don’t do that, Gage,” I blurted, my vocal chords finally getting with the program.
“Tell me a good reason why, Lauren.”
“I can’t. We need to talk, but I can’t talk to you right now.” I didn’t want to tell him on the phone. It just didn’t seem right. I needed him to come to me, but I knew he wouldn’t. I didn’t bother asking. “When I get back. We’ll talk. I swear it.”
“I may not be around then.” He sounded so defeated, and it hurt to hear him say he didn’t know if he’d wait for me. I needed to tell him.
I struggled silently for a minute. Just say the words, just spit them out. I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
He was silent. I waited. “Gage?” Nothing, not a sound.
“Gage, say something.” I pulled the phone away from my ear to read the words “call ended” and the time stamp was long enough before that he hadn’t heard my confession. He hadn’t waited around for it.
I wanted to scream. I thought about calling him back, but then the knots in my stomach tightened, and I ran to the bathroom to be sick.
I lay on the cold floor in front of the toilet for a minute and then picked myself up and undressed. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water steam up the room as I stood beneath it. I looked down to my little, pooched tummy and gave it a stroke.
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