His baby was inside of me, and when I’d finally found the courage to tell him, he hadn’t heard. I’d have to call and set things straight, but I really did feel we needed to talk things out before calling my brother together.
As much as it hurt, his hanging up would buy me the time I needed.
I shut off the water and stepped out to wrap one of the fluffy, white hotel towels around me. Then, while I was wrapping up my hair in another one, the phone rang. I felt a moment of hope that it might be him, but then sank when I saw it was only Chloe. I answered the phone with a half-hearted hello.
“Hello to you, too. Don’t sound so excited to hear from your best friend. Still sick?”
“Yes, actually. I just greeted the hotel’s toilet before my shower.”
“I thought you were doing better? Did you eat something? Maybe you’re coming down with the real flu as a penance for lying about having one.”
“No, and for your information, I told him. I blurted it right out after a tongue-tied moment.”
“Oh man, did you?”
“Yes, I did.” I left the bathroom in search of warm clothes.
“How did he take it?”
“He hung up before I even said it. I checked the time; there’s no way he heard. He was angry that I told him ‘no’ when he wanted to call Noah, and while I was trying to find my words, I guess he got tired of waiting.” I dug in my suitcase and pulled out a pair of soft pajamas that I always used for traveling.
She let out a long, dramatic sound of frustration. “Then you should call him back.”
“No. For one, he hung up on me, and for two, I already wanted a little time to process. His stunt just bought me the time I needed. I just need to get through this job and go back home, and we’ll talk.” I dropped the towel and dressed, feeling the comfort of warmth as I turned the comforter back and climbed between the sheets.
“What if he’s so angry that he doesn’t want to talk? Or worse, if he thinks you don’t want him, and he calls up some old girlfriend and sleeps with her. You need to tell him how you feel.”
“I get tongue-tied with him. I could barely get out a sentence.” I laid back against the soft pillows and rested my hand on my tummy like it was the most natural thing in the world, though I’d never done it until lately.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you sure he’s the one for you? I mean, I know you think he is because of your childhood fantasy, but what if that’s not what your true heart wants, and that’s why you can’t deal with it?”
I let out a breath and closed my eyes to try and imagine myself with another man. One word kept going through my mind. Impossible.
“No, I know I don’t want anyone else. I want our child to know his or her father, to be a part of his life, and I’d love to do that right by his side, with Olivia, who would, in theory, think I hung the fucking moon, but it’s not a perfect world, Chloe.” I tucked a wet strand back beneath the towel on my head. “I am afraid his daughter will think I’m trying to take the place of her mother, and I keep thinking that me being around is going to mess with her adjustment. Gage bringing her home is new. She had all of that time back and forth, and now she’s able to be with her daddy. If I was in her shoes and a woman came along to take away my time, I’d hate her, too.”
“You don’t know, though. What if she wants a new mommy? She might see you and think you’re the best new mommy ever.”
“Or she might cut my hair off while I’m asleep at night, or pour cologne in my coffee.”
Chloe burst out laughing. “What the hell? Where did that come from?”
“According to her father, she’s a little mischievous.” Little was putting it lightly. “And what if she thinks a new baby will replace her? What will she do to my kid?”
“You and Gage can work that out together. You’d be great parents, but damn, I see what your point is. If it’s really that bad, I’d be a bit hesitant, too.”
“It’s not just Ollie. It’s the whole Noah thing, too.” I let out a long breath. “I’m not sure he’s going to like me allowing Gage to change the cabin, much less him sleeping with me. So, when that cat’s out of the bag, shit will get ugly. I’m not sure I’m ready for more drama. Craig gave me enough for a fucking lifetime.”
“And Noah still doesn’t know about that, too,” she reminded.
“Thanks for that, Chloe. I nearly had forgotten.” I probably would have hurled again if I’d had anything left in my stomach. As it was, I heard my stomach growl. It was still early, the sun melting into the horizon, and not only had it been a busy day, but I was hungry. “I guess I should feed us.”
“Oh, that’s so cute. You’re eating for two.”
“No, I’m making the little guy share. Supposedly, he’s still only the size of a peanut or something like that.”
“Are you going to have an ultrasound soon?”
“It’s not time. I have a couple of months still, and I want Gage to go with me if he will. I’m hoping he’ll want to know the sex of the baby.”
“But you feel it’s a boy? You just called him a little guy.” She sounded a bit disappointed.
“Yeah, for some reason, I feel like it’s a boy.”
“But you said you always dreamed of a little girl, so I want it to be a girl.”
“I don’t know. I guess because he’s already got a girl, I’d like to give him something Katrina didn’t: a son.”
“I can understand that. I guess I could spoil a little boy, too. Let me guess; you want him to look just like his father, right?”
“Of course.” I thought about Gage and how handsome he was, and for the first time in at least a week, my heart ached for him. Deeply. As always, I was still crushing hard on that man.
Chapter 23
Gage
The cabin work was coming to completion, and I’d been called in to give my final stamp of approval on the project. I made my way up the winding road, and when it came into sight, all of the memories of it covered in snow flooded back to me.
We’d had such a good time together that first night, hot and steamy, and I felt an ache in my balls wishing I could have her again. I knew once this work was done, it might be the last excuse to get in touch, and with nearly two months passing since the last time we really spoke, other than a few texts here and there about the project, I figured she just wanted to forget it had all happened.
It might not have helped that I’d been angry and hung up on her the last time we’d talked on the phone, but I’d felt it better at the time than showing any more anger toward her. I was angry with myself mostly, for letting it all get out of hand. I’d talked her out of telling Noah when I should have done the right thing and told him immediately. What was done, was done though.
I parked out front, and Glen hurried out to meet me. “Thanks for coming, boss. It’s all ready for your final approval. I hope you’re satisfied with the view, but if not, you’ll have to speak to Mother Nature about that.” He gave a little laugh, his eyes squinting as he smiled.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ll love it. I just hope my client does.” I really wanted her to be surprised, and I hoped that when she saw it, she’d appreciate what he was trying to do. “Let’s give it a look.” I walked into the house, and my chest felt like it was hollow, my guts a twisting rope, as I walked past the couch where the two of us had been together the first time. I had so many memories in the place before that one, but that was the only one that mattered to me anymore.
I went down the hall ahead of Glen, and before I even came to the door, I could see the amount of light spilling in from the sun. “It’s bright.” I walked into the room, and my breath was taken away. The window was perfect, and it wrapped up to the ceiling for a much bigger view.
“It’s gorgeous, man. I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t like something like this.”
“I agree, boss. And it boosted the property value as well. You just don’t see this every day.” I turned and saw the small nook where he’d inserted shelve
s and a small seat on the other corner, and I imagined her sitting there with a cup of coffee, the sunlight spilling in on her hair, the red highlights sparkling in the sun.
“It’s perfect, Glen. I can’t wait to show her.” I didn’t know if I should send photos or not. But I knew I needed to call and arrange for her to come see and give me her seal of approval. “I guess I should give her a call.” I let out a cleansing breath, and Glen’s hand landed on my shoulder.
“Good luck, boss, I hope she likes it.” He turned and walked to the door. “I’ll be out in the truck getting some papers ready for you to sign; give you a little privacy.”
“Thanks, man. You really outdid yourself on this one.” He left, and I walked over to sit on the bench in the little reading nook.
I didn’t know how to call. I’d hung up on her the last time, and I figured that was why she had only texted me in return. I guessed it was my place to call and apologize. I dialed the number.
“Hello, Gage. Did you call to hang up on me again?”
“No, and I’m sorry about that, but you know I’ve texted, and you haven’t bothered to keep in touch, either.”
“Well, I’ve been busy with this trial. That week-long trip to New York turned into a month, and I’ve been trying to get my wits back since. I got in last night. Everything is moving fast, and I’m already into another case. Luckily, this one I don’t have to travel for, and it should wrap up soon.”
“Good, then could you come down for a visit? I’d like you to see what I’ve done to the cabin.”
“What did you do? You could send pictures, you know?”
“No, I’m not sending pictures because I’d like for you to come and see it in person.”
“I will, but it will be a week or so at least. My life is very busy. I’ve got a pile of work waiting for me when I go back to the office tomorrow.”
“Mine too.” I was tired of her acting like she was the only one with a job and a life. “I’m busy too, remember? I have a daughter that takes all of my time.” I let my sarcasm be obvious.
“Right.” She let out a sigh. “I have responsibilities now, too, but I guess I can come in next week.”
“Next week? I might be around.”
“You don’t have to be such an ass, Gage. If you want me to come down, let’s plan something. Otherwise, you can send a photograph.”
“I’m an ass? You’re the one who acts like you don’t have time for me.”
“You’re the one who hung up on me. I can’t help it if my life has been a bit hectic with work, but my career is important to me. I can’t just retire early like you and leave other people to do all of my work for me.”
“Ah, now my money is a problem? That’s funny since most women don’t have a problem with it.”
“What does that mean? Are you seeing other women?” Her voice rose a bit, and part of me wanted to say yes.
“No, because I’m so wrapped up waiting around for you that I haven’t had time. I meant what I said, and no amount of time will change it, so if I’m wasting my time, do me the courtesy of telling me now.” I wasn’t going to sit and waste my life away waiting for her.
“I said I was coming. Besides, there’s something really important I need to discuss with you, and when I do, I want to work things out with us.”
“Tell me now, then, Lauren.”
“You don’t understand; it’s something I’d rather speak to you in person about.”
“Then I’ll drive up to see you.”
“No, I just told you I’m wrapping up another case shortly, and I will be pulling some late nights to do it.”
“Late nights? You’re working late with the client?” I tried not to be too accusatory.
“With the team, why?” Her tone seemed to indicate that she didn’t like mine.
“Just wondering.” I didn’t know if she was cozying up with some male client, and even though I hated to be jealous, she had dated her boss who still worked in the same building. “I guess I’ll see you when you finally have time.”
“Soon, Gage. I promise. Then, I want things to change for the better.”
“Don’t give me hope, not if there’s no chance.”
“There is, Gage. More than you think. Could you trust me, please?” Her voice softened, and I felt my guard come down a little.
“I miss us, Lauren. I want us. And I’m really ready for you to come down here and see what I did to the cabin.”
“What did you do?”
“Oh no, it’s a surprise.”
“You didn’t go all out, did you? That trade of services won’t be lopsided, will it? I don’t want to feel like I owe you.”
“You don’t ever owe me, baby. I wanted to do something nice for you.”
“Thank you. I’m sure I’ll love it. It’s not like you left some gaping hole in the wall.” She gave a half-hearted laugh, and I joined in.
“Well, sort of, but you’ll have to see.”
“Now I’m definitely coming down next week. That sounds a bit scary. Promise me you didn’t go overboard.”
“What would you consider overboard, exactly? Better yet, let’s end that conversation there. I don’t want to worry all week if you’re going to kill me or not.”
“I can’t wait to see you.” It was a shock to hear her say it, but I was sure glad she had.
“Me too. Send me a picture. I’ve looked at the others so much I’ve got them memorized.”
“I don’t know; I should make you wait.”
“Let me see, baby.” I hoped she’d be a little daring and send something naughty as she had in the past, but I wasn’t about to suggest it.
“Fine. I’ll send one picture, but you have to do the same.”
“Deal.” I held up the phone and snapped a picture, then sent it to her. The minute it sent, I heard a ping.
“Where are you? At the cabin?” I’d been careful not to send anything too telling.
“Yes. I had to come give my final stamp.”
“I’m getting excited.”
“I like that I have a surprise for you.”
“I might have one for you as well.” She gave a little laugh.
“Did you get me something while you were in New York?”
“No, I was too pissed off at you while I was in New York. You hung up on me, remember?”
“Oh right. I did that, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did that.” She didn’t sound too enthused, and I don’t think my apology had been enough.
“I’ll make it up to you next time I see you, okay?” I softened my voice a little, keeping it low and husky.
“I might be able to forgive you.”
“I hope so, baby. I really need us to work something out. I want to tell Noah; I want us to have a relationship. A real one. And if you’re worried about Ollie, don’t be. She’s been asking me about you all this time.” She’d even asked me if I’d only been teasing, but I didn’t want to tell Lauren that, or the fact that she’d asked me if I loved her and if she’d be her new mother someday. All of that might be a little too much for Lauren to swallow. I doubted she was ready to be a mother, especially to my girl.
“Still? Now I feel bad.”
“Don’t feel bad. She’s excited to meet you.” I couldn’t wait to have both of my girls together. “You’re still my girl, aren’t you, Lauren?”
“Am I? I mean, do you have room for me with Ollie already being your little girl?”
“She’s my little girl; you’re my girl, my lady, my woman. Whatever you want to be called. And yes, there’s plenty of room and time for you both.”
“Thanks, Gage. I feel better about things.” She gave a little sigh on the phone.
“You’ll feel even better once you get to come down and see the big hole I left in your wall.”
She laughed. “I hope that’s a hint.”
I didn’t want to give too much away. “Maybe, maybe not. I can’t wait to see you; hold you; kiss you.” I ached for her with a long
ing I’d never had for any other woman in my life, and I knew what it meant. It meant that I was in love with her, and when the time was right, I was going to tell her.
Chapter 24
Lauren
Gage had been so sweet, and we’d had a good conversation for a change without fighting, and it really was the way I wanted it to be. I wanted to be able to see a big future with him, and for the first time, I thought there might be a possibility with us, even with Ollie in the picture. Maybe he really could have enough time and love for the both of us? He did seem to love me, even though he’d never said it. We’d known each other for so many years, and with our long past, that was more than a possibility.
I wanted things to be good all the time, and I hoped that his daughter would like me. I’d been so afraid of how she might hate me that I’d been too scared to give it a try. If I tried and lost him, it would be heartbreaking, and before Gage and I reconnected, I’d just had my heart broken so badly that I couldn’t stand the thought of it being broken again.
What I hoped to accomplish on my visit was not only to tell him about the pregnancy but to see how we were going to work our futures together. Kids aside, we were in two different places in life; him ready to retire and settle down to spend more time with his kids, and me ready to make something more of my career. I had always wanted to do something amazing with my education, and maybe open up my own firm one day, and who knew? With his encouragement, maybe I could.
I turned on my phone and glanced down at the picture he’d sent. Seeing it, I realized how much I’d missed him. He was truly a sight for sore eyes, and my body warmed in the most intimate places thinking about our times together. He had made me feel so good, and with my hormones out of whack from the pregnancy, I really needed him to do it again. And again.
He was really an amazing man, and I loved the idea of him being all mine. He was more honorable than I gave him credit for.
I couldn’t wait to see what he’d done to the cabin, and I had a feeling it was way more than the exchange rate of my services. I wanted to argue with him and make him let me pay, but he would never go along with it. I was going to have to resign myself to the fact that he wanted to do it and just be grateful and accept the gift and appreciate the gesture. If it made him happy, I was sure I’d love it.
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