by Kitt, Sandra
It just seemed so easy. So natural. But Dallas was still careful. Not about Alex, but about being with him that often erupted into hope. It was too early for plans or commitments, and she didn’t need any of that. But it had also been so long since she was this sure about anything.
On Saturday morning she left him sleeping to run to the post office to mail off a freelance review. Dallas took her time getting back, stopping by a florist to buy two bouquets of flowers. She bought a tub of cream cheese with lox to go with three fresh bagels. And then smiled happily to herself all the way back to the apartment.
But the telephone ringing had awakened Alex from a sound sleep. He groggily answered.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat to talk. Almost immediately he realized his mistake. He wasn’t home. This wasn’t a call for him.
“Hey … sorry. I guess I have the wrong …”
“You want Dallas.”
There was a pause. “Yeah. This is Dean. Her brother.”
Alex sighed and sat up. He was not completely awake. “I’m Alex. We met a few months ago when I drove Dallas to her parents …”
“Oh, yeah …” Dean said as the connection was made. Then he cackled wickedly. “Dilly-Dally has some explaining to do.”
Alex frowned. “About me? Why should she?”
“It’s a family thing. I’m not saying it’s because of you, man, but …”
“You don’t approve.”
“Hey, it’s none of my business. Dallas can take care of herself.”
“Good. Then I guess we’re cool.”
“Yeah. Just don’t mess with my sister if you don’t mean it.”
Alex grinned lopsidedly at the protective threat in Dean’s tone. “I thought you said it was none of your business.”
“That’s right. That don’t mean I don’t care about what happens to her. Tell her I called.” He hung up.
Alex was more amused than anything. But it did alert him to one thing. What he was doing. What he and Dallas were doing. He didn’t want to hurt her. But it could happen. There was a lot they hadn’t talked about, yet. Like what happens next week.
When he got out of bed Alex became suddenly anxious. Not because Dallas had left him alone, but more because she wasn’t there. When Alex heard the key in the door twenty minutes later, he was waiting for her in the living room. He had pulled on his jeans. She walked into the apartment with an armful of flowers, a bright smile, and enough warmth to melt the doubt created by her brother’s phone call.
“You’re up. Did you miss me?” she teased.
“Yes,” Alex answered without hesitation. He met her at the entrance of the kitchen and kissed her briefly as she walked past him. Alex stood and watched as Dallas deftly arranged the flowers in two separate vases, and then refrigerated the cream cheese.
“Good. Then you haven’t gotten bored with me yet.”
“Your brother called.”
The smile faded slowly. “He did? What did he want?”
Alex thought about making a joke out of it. He thought about lying. “He warned me not to play games with you.”
Dallas’s mouth dropped open. “He … he said that to you?”
Alex nodded. He approached her and kissed her mouth again, her automatic response forcing it closed. He took Dallas by the hand and led her out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and back into the bedroom. He began to undress her.
“Alex … Alex, I’m sorry. Dean had no right …”
“You’re wrong. He had every right. He cares about you. He was feeling protective toward you.” He got the oversized sweater off. The leggings proved more of a problem. “The thing is … that’s how I feel, too.”
“Alex, I …”
He quickly discarded his jeans and, kneeling on the bed, put his arms around her and lowered her onto her back. He began to kiss her, to rub his fingertips over the peaks of her breasts slowly until she moaned and arched her back.
“Oh, my God … Alex …”
He slipped his hand between her legs and gently caressed the sensitive opening until he felt the wetness. He slowly pushed a finger inside. All the while Alex watched her face, felt her body undulate against him, heard her moan and shudder. She breathed heavily and then gasped when the pulsating release throbbed through her body. Then he carefully lay atop her. He’d already made love to her. He didn’t need to be inside. He just needed to know that Dallas trusted him with her body … her soul.
Alex couldn’t find anything he didn’t like about her. And Dean’s inference did not go unnoticed. It was too soon to know if he loved Dallas Oliver, but Alex did know for sure that what he felt for her was more complete, and the closest he’d ever come to it with anyone.
It was almost one in the afternoon when the phone rang again. Alex sighed and pressed a kiss onto Dallas’s neck.
“I think you’d better get that,” he said.
Dallas smiled and blindly reached for the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Dallas, this is Valerie.”
Her eyes fluttered open. She glanced at Alex, but he was sprawled on his stomach, his face now hidden by a pillow. “Hi.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” Valerie said stiffly.
Dallas felt discouraged. It was still the same with her. “That’s all right. Can I help you with something?”
“Is Megan there?” Valerie asked bluntly.
The very question made Dallas’s insides curl with alarm. Why didn’t Valerie know where her daughter was? Then Dallas realized that Valerie’s stiff tone was not directed at her. It was controlled fear and suppressed panic.
“No, she’s not. Why?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call one of her other friends. Bye …”
Dallas clutched the phone. “Valerie, wait!” The imperative in her voice brought Alex instantly awake. He turned startled eyes toward her. “Don’t hang up. You don’t know where she is?” There was no response. “Valerie, please. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
Valerie bit her lip to keep her voice from shaking. “I … I haven’t seen her since early last night. Neither has anyone else.”
“Dallas, what’s happening?” Alex asked softly but in a firm voice.
Dallas shook her head at him, indicating that she didn’t know yet. “Val, I don’t understand. What do you mean you haven’t seen her?”
“She said she was going to spend the night with a classmate. I know the girl and her family. They’ve stayed back and forth with each other before. So Megan left the house at about six. She told me they were going to a movie, and then back to the friend’s house. I didn’t think any more about it. Until the girl called me an hour ago looking for Megan. She hadn’t seen her since study hall yesterday morning.”
“Oh, no. Oh, Val …”
Alex sat up and took the phone out of Dallas’s hand. “Valerie, what’s wrong?”
“Alex … I … Megan is gone. I … I don’t know where, I …”
“Tell me what happened.”
It was another five minutes before the full story of Megan’s anger at Valerie and the argument between the two of them had been fleshed out. Then Alex told her she should finish canvassing Megan’s friends, and then call the police. Dallas gasped when she heard Alex’s firm directive, but she knew it had to be done. Something could be horribly wrong. Alex issued more instructions and then hung up. He turned to Dallas.
“I have to go help find her.”
“I’m coming, too.”
“No. You have to stay here, Dallas. What if Megan is trying to reach you? What if she calls or tries to come by herself?”
Tears welled up in Dallas’s eyes. She repeated all the possibilities Alex outlined and thought, But what if Megan doesn’t? Dallas nodded her consent to remain in the apartment. They both got out of bed and dressed quickly. Alex made several other phone calls. One to Ross. One to Lillian and Vin. Dallas called her parents, just in case. Megan knew them, and they were a lo
t closer than trying to reach the city … if that was what she had set out to do. If nothing else had happened to her.
The squawk box was driving her crazy, with its scratchy loud messages in code. As were the incessant questions and the room filled with suited and strapped men. Valerie had given up control of the situation and her house, which she’d lost the moment she’d made her suspicions about where her daughter was official. But neither she nor the police had any better idea some five hours after Valerie’s discovery that Megan had lied to her … and possibly run away.
“Miss Holland, I’m Detective Burnes. I have a few questions, please.”
That’s how it had gone. Answering questions. Valerie was becoming enraged by the questions. Why weren’t these men and women all out looking for her child? She turned to give her attention to the newest officer. She couldn’t be stubborn now. First they had to find Megan.
“Sure,” Valerie whispered, her voice tired and flat as the officer sat in the chair opposite her and began.
“Now, you told Detective Tillis that you and your daughter had had an argument recently. Over what?”
Valerie felt the stress and pain press at her temples. She didn’t know how to say that it was because she herself had been unreasonable and hard. That she’d been angry and disappointed and had taken it out on Megan. Because to say so would be the same as saying it was her fault that Megan was missing. That Megan might have been angry enough at her to want to run away was what tore at Valerie the most. She had driven her own daughter away.
And her best friend.
It was ironic that Dallas was the one person she wanted there with her.
The officers were careful not to make any promises. A twelve-year-old out alone in unfamiliar surroundings was vulnerable and easy prey to a variety of undesirables. Yet they said Megan would probably show up on her own when she got hungry and it got dark. It was going to be dark in an hour.
Valerie nodded absently as the officer assured her that all was going to be fine and walked away to join some of the other half-dozen or so detectives camped out in her dining room. She felt alone. Members of her family had already been by to offer their support, but the weeping had nearly driven Valerie to distraction. She had suggested that it was better if they went home to wait.
Valerie looked at her watch again. It had been exactly twenty-four hours since she’d seen Megan. She could feel her resolve to stay calm starting to crack around the edges. Her stomach was queasy with stress. Tension pulled at the muscles behind her eyelids, twisting into a headache.
“Ms. Holland, there’s someone here who says he has to see you. Should we let him in?” the detective asked. “A Ross Manning.”
Valerie stood up and nodded to the officer. “Yes, let him in.” Then she waited, feeling a jolt of adrenaline that made her both apprehensive and wary. She was in no way expecting Ross, but she was not surprised that he had come. She stared in the direction of the entrance until he finally appeared, his usually mischievous and knowing gaze serious and thoughtful as it sought her out. When their eyes connected across the room, Valerie felt for the first time that she was not alone. She was glad to see him.
She noticed the slightly uneven gait in his walking as he approached, his face looking as concerned and serious as she’d ever seen it. Valerie decided she liked it the other way, when he was cheerful and bantering, flirtatious.
He stopped within a foot of her. For the first time since they’d met they were at a loss for words for their usual sparring. The dynamics were different now, and there was something else … someone else, at stake.
“You haven’t heard anything?” he asked.
The sound of his voice was strong and solid, his presence reassuring. “No, nothing.”
“Alex had some ideas to check out. Is Dallas here with you?”
Valerie shook her head. “She’s at her apartment, in case Megan manages to make it there.”
He looked closely at her. “How are you doing?” he asked quietly.
She wished he wouldn’t be concerned and tender. She wished his voice didn’t sound like it could heal anything. She wished he wouldn’t look at her that way that said the horrible pain in the middle of her chest was real and it did feel that it was ripping her insides out.
“I’m okay.” Valerie nodded.
Obviously Ross didn’t believe her. He stepped forward and put an arm around her. Valerie felt the crack turn into splintering. Her forehead fell forward onto his chest, and she could hide the fierce pain that seemed to squeeze out through her pores. She had never been so scared in her life.
“Ross, I’m sorry. I …”
“Don’t be.”
The acceptance of her pain, the dismissal of her need for comfort and forgiveness, gave Valerie permission to cry.
Every time the phone rang, Dallas stared at it as if it contained an evil spirit. It meant that someone was calling with news. But she was afraid that the news might be something she didn’t want to hear.
On the start of the third ring she picked it up. “Yes …”
“Dallas, anything yet?”
She sighed. “No, Ross, nothing.”
“The police out here have called all of her friends, and searched the usual places where the kids hang out. No one has seen her.”
“She hasn’t tried to call me.”
“What about Alex?”
Dallas blushed. His assumption that Alex would have been with her made her realize that Ross was aware of what was developing between them. “He left here several hours ago, but I haven’t heard from him. He didn’t say what he was going to check out.” Dallas took a breath. “How’s Val?”
“Do you want to talk to her?”
“Well, maybe I should …”
“Hold on …”
Dallas could hear the low murmur of Ross’s voice and then Valerie was on the line.
“Hi, Dallas.”
She sounded exhausted and Dallas wasn’t surprised. But she also wondered if what had happened between them was going to prevent them from supporting each other.
“How are you holding up?”
“My nerves are raw. I want to scream at the police to do something. My mother has been hysterical.”
“I’m not surprised. Is Rosemary there?”
“No. I made her go home to wait. I’m trying to stay calm, and her crying was getting to me. God knows I’m going to do enough of it myself if anything …”
“Don’t say it, Val. I know Megan is okay.”
“I hope to God you’re right.”
Dallas could hear the strain in her voice. Their mutual concern for Megan’s welfare had moved them past their last difficult encounter. Dallas imagined that it was not forgotten by Valerie any more than herself, but it hardly seemed important at the moment.
“I’ll call if I hear anything. You’ll let me know if there’s anything I can do?”
“Sure,” Valerie promised, subdued and tired.
“Val … everything’s going to be fine,” Dallas whispered.
“Thanks for saying that. I … hope so.”
“I’d better get off the phone in case Megan or Alex is trying to reach you or me.”
“Yes …”
“Tell Ross I said thank you.”
Valerie chuckled. “You noticed, too?”
“He handled this very well. Got us talking. Megan is much more important than our differences.”
“She’s the most important thing in my life. But I don’t want to sacrifice our friendship, either.”
“It’s been kicked around a bit,” Dallas conceded. “But I think there’s some life left in it.”
“Then we’ll talk when this is over.”
It was another two hours and dark outside before the phone rang again. It was Alex.
“Where are you?” she asked anxiously.
“I’m at Val’s.”
“Val’s?” she repeated blankly. “Alex, what …”
“It’s okay. I just got here.
I found Megan.”
“Oh, my God … where?”
“She was hiding out on the boat.”
Chapter Sixteen
I think what people want most in their lives is love. It’s surprising what we’re willing to give up in order to have it and experience it. But love is not something you wish for. It’s something that has to be created. And it comes not from what you can get, but what you have to give. It sounds difficult, but it really is not. Where we tend to fall short of the mark is insisting on a love we think we want and need, instead of what actually makes us feel good … and which lasts. Love has no boundaries, or rules, or size and, we’re finding out at last, that it doesn’t come in colors. When we find it in a particular person, or it is shared with us, then we are truly blessed. I have found the love I want. Not unexpected, but different than I’d planned. It is a gift. But the question I want to know about love is this … “If I violate the taboos defining my cultural identity, will I offend God?”
“I DON’T SEE HER,” Rosemary Holland whispered to her daughter.
“Mom, be quiet,” Valerie whispered back. “You’ll see her when she stands up.”
“But she won’t know where we are.”
“Don’t worry,” Ross said. “She’ll know.”
Dallas, seated one row behind members of the Holland clan, grinned as Valerie turned her head to give her a look. When they had graduated from elementary school, they had tied red balloons filled with helium to the arm of the chairs assigned to their families. It was a tradition the school made sure was never repeated.
“Michael Gizzali,” the principal announced, and another student stood to join the others on stage as applause broke out in the auditorium. “Janine Grant …”
Alex reached for Dallas’s hand and threaded his fingers with hers. While she felt the need to be cautious, Alex did not. He’d made a choice, placed his affections, and didn’t care a damn if anyone knew.
Dallas’s gaze quickly swept around those gathered, to see if anyone else noticed the hand-holding. She was not used to this kind of open display. It made her feel peculiar. But not in the way of Hayden or Burke, both of whom had placed so much emphasis on her looks. Alex didn’t take what he felt lightly. Which was a good thing. Because neither did she.
