Refusing Mr Collins

by Carrie Mollenkopf

  ~19~

  Fitzwilliam Darcy had been puzzled as to the purpose of Charlotte Lucas’ visit that afternoon. Although formally acquainted and having shared a dance or two out of politeness to her family, he could not recall any particular conversation. He was aware that she was an intimate friend of Elizabeth Bennet, but that was all. With the engagement of Jane to Charles Bingley, Darcy had been privy to the details of the recent events at Longbourn, and had been contemplating what he could do to assist, but had no idea that Mr. Collins state of mind had deteriorated to the accusation of not only attempted murder, but also witchcraft.

  “You can’t be serious?”

  “Indeed, I am, and I fear that he may do something foolish enough to cause a permanent stain to Elizabeth’s reputation.”

  Miss Lucas had eyed him carefully, sending an odd feeling coursing through his being. It was as if she could look inside his soul and read not only his mind, but emotions as well. Behind her prim façade, Charlotte Lucas was something else entirely. And today, she was clearly on a mission to save Elizabeth.

  “Mr. Darcy, please allow me to forgo frivolities…. I have seen the way you look at her… it is obvious that you have great feelings for Elizabeth, if not love. Mr. Collins is a weak man, seeking only to puff up his feathers to any who will admire them. He has failed to impress any of the Bennet ladies and so is feeling inadequate, so much so that he is lashing out without a care. I know that your aunt is his employer, surely some advice from your quarter will go a long way.”

  “What would you have me do? My aunt is a formidable woman, nothing I say has ever made a difference.”

  “But Mr. Collins does not know that, and he is easily led, once he believes the idea to be his own. You must convince him to drop the charges.”

  “And if I cannot? An inquiry has already begun, it must be seen to its conclusion.”

  “And it will, that is yet another request I have of you…Lt. Wickham is to be part of the council. Surely you can convince him to be sympathetic to Elizabeth’s plight?”

  Darcy felt as if the bottom of his stomach had fallen out. If, as Miss Lucas claimed, he was obvious in his attentions to Elizabeth, this would be an excellent opportunity for Wickham to seek revenge upon his person. As much as he despised the prospect, he would be forced to demand an audience with Wickham.

  *****

  Fortunately, it did not take long to find his adversary. Wickham, in the company of several junior officers, were settled in a back corner of the King’s Arms. More of a tavern than inn, it was nearly empty at that time of day. The regular after dinner crowd had yet to arrive, it was perfect for him to have a private conversation.

  “Please excuse us gentlemen, but I should like a word with Lt. Wickham. Have a round on me,” Darcy said. Approaching the table, he lay a gold sovereign down. It was merely a gesture of goodwill, but one that was not so agreeable to George Wickham. His companions, eager to indulge on the munificence of a man whose consequence far outweighed their own, soon scattered to the front of the common room. With privacy assured, Darcy casually took a vacant seat. He hated not having the upper hand, but it would not do to appear so obvious in his need of Wickham’s cooperation.

  “What brings the esteemed personage of Mr. Darcy to my lowly table? Surely not a desire to recall fond memories? By the way, how is Miss Georgiana?” Wickham inquired, a sneer of satisfaction crossing his features.

  Resisting the urge to forget himself and knock Wickham’s teeth out, Darcy only smiled. He was not here to discuss his sister.

  “My sister is well, but it is not her welfare which I am presently concerned.”

  “Oh? Then whose? Perhaps that of Elizabeth Bennet? Nasty business that, and you, so clearly fond of an accused murderess…my, my, what a turn of events.”

  “No one has been murdered. Collins is a stupid man with delusions of grandeur, much like yourself. But no, it is not Miss Elizabeth. It is your intentions towards Lydia Bennet that has my attention.”

  “If they are my intentions, then they are not a concern of yours. Whatever is between me and Lydia is a private matter.”

  “Until you disgrace her. Will you attempt to run away with her as well? The Bennets have no money.”

  To this, Wickham did not respond immediately. Looking away, Darcy noticed how his hands clenched repeatedly. He had clearly hit a nerve. Did Wickham actually have true feelings for Lydia? It was a wager he would have to take. Waiting until Wickham returned his gaze Darcy made his offer.

  “Do you want to marry her?”

  “What difference does that make? A man with my salary cannot afford to marry. The volunteers pay a pittance…had I the living promised by your father; things would be different.”

  “Oh indeed, and what a priest you would make. That offer no longer stands, but I should like to see Miss Bennet happy. Marriage to an officer with a regular commission would please her greatly. However, one minor thing stands in the way.”

  “Besides my lack of fortune?”

  “Worse… no officer, however low in rank can be married to a lady associated with scandal. Any taint upon Elizabeth will carry over to her sisters by association. You could never marry her, even if financially able.”

  Wickham eyed Darcy curiously. Had his greatest rival just offered to bribe a military officer? The world truly had turned upside down. However, he did not trust Darcy for a minute.

  “I am not the only one on the council. There are three of us.”

  “I am aware. I only ask that you weigh the evidence carefully before making any decision that might affect Lydia forever. I should hate to see my wedding gift go to waste.”

  “As should I.”

  “Then I take it we have an understanding?”

  “Indeed, we do.”

  ~20~

  Darcy never desired a bath more than after his conversation with Wickham. Every encounter with the man made him feel soiled inside, but there was still yet another person with whom he needed to speak. In some ways it would be far easier to convince the Reverend Collins of his folly than Wickham. For Collins was simply a favor seeking idiot, while Wickham, for all his faults, was not a fool. Riding to Longbourn, Darcy also hoped for some time with Elizabeth. Since the accusation had been made, she had not permitted visitors. Only Charlotte Lucas had been able to undermine that restriction. But then, the entire situation was odd in the extreme. Never before had he seen an accused poisoner confined to the same house as the presumed victim. Now, as he was admitted inside, Darcy was pleased to discover that only Elizabeth and her father were currently at home. Not only would this avoid unnecessary time lost on pleasantries, he would also have privacy with Elizabeth.

  “Is it Miss Elizabeth you wish to see?” the young Irish maid inquired politely.

  “Er, yes but I should first like to see Mr. Collins. Is he receiving?”

  “I don’t know sir; I am not allowed near his chamber.” She admitted honestly and nervously stepped from one foot to another. To Darcy, it appeared that she wished to tell him something, but was unsure how to broach the difference in their stations.”

  “Jenny isn’t it? You seem rather distressed, is there a problem with Mr. Collins? Has he done something to you or one of the Bennets?”

  “Oh sir, its all my fault. I was just cleaning the room and found that cloth bag. I thought it belonged to Mr. Collins. He being so critical all the time, I believed to be a test of some sort. You know, to see if I steal.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. A test?”

  “Putting things where they don’t belong on purpose to see if I am doing my job. But he won’t listen to me.”

  “Does Miss Elizabeth know of this?”

  “N…no, I was at my Ma’s house until this morning. Miss Lizzy is in with her father; I dare not disturb them.”

  “Well, it is time to have this all out. Take me to Mr. Collins, he will listen to me.”

  Sniffing, Jenny Miller accepted the fine silk handkerchief proffered
by the man she now deemed her potential savior. Leading him to the designated chamber, she backed away as he entered, crossing herself and saying a short prayer. But this time it was for Mr. Collins. Never before had she seen such a look of pure rage.

  Darcy had not knocked to announce his presence and found Mr. Collins with his back turned, rifling through an array of what appeared to be dried roots and leaves. Puzzled, he grimaced in disbelief. For a man so quick to accuse another of poisoning, he was doing much to brew his own. Clearing his throat loudly, the discovery that he was not alone sent Mr. Collins scrambling to cover his ministrations.

  “Mr. Darcy! What an unexpected surprise! I was just sorting some medication, a man in my condition cannot be too careful. To what do I owe the pleasure? Has your esteemed aunt heard of my distress? She is always so considerate of my needs, often filling requirements before I even know of the loss. Anticipate my every need she does.”

  “Hmm, I can only imagine Aunt Catherine’s attention to your person. But, no, I do not believe she is aware of your accusations… yet.”

  “My accusations?”

  “Of slander, against the person of Elizabeth Bennet.”

  “S…slander? But she tried to poison me.”

  “Did she now? Or did she simply do as you asked? I should think you poisoned yourself in a pathetic attempt to garner attention, something of which my Aunt would definitely NOT approve. And what is this nonsense about witchcraft? Are you daft?”

  “I…I did not mean. I mean to say that I had not anticipated…but surely it must be…”

  Mr. Collins voice faltered and he sat heavily down on the edge of the bed, sending the springs creaking under the weight.

  “I am sure you did not, but the damage has been done. It would be unfortunate if you displeased Aunt Catherine so much that she dismisses you. I can only imagine her anger to discover that you believe in such archaic nonsense as witchcraft, let alone accusing an innocent lady.”

  Recovering his voice, Mr. Collins began to blubber apologies, but Darcy only raised a hand to silence him.

  “I suggest you save it all for the inquest. Only when Miss Bennet is publicly exonerated will all of this be deemed a silly misunderstanding, for that is what it is. Don’t you agree?”

  Mr. Collins only sniffed, nodding in agreement. His fear of displeasing Lady Catherine de Bourgh was greater than any suspicion of witchcraft.

  “Now pull yourself together and behave like a man worthy of Rosings Park, before I am forced to write a strongly worded letter to my Aunt. Miss Bennet will be awaiting your apology.”

  “Immediately. I shall do it immediately! And please, send my highest regards to your aunt, should you write to her.”

  Darcy only nodded and left the chamber, glad to be rid of the odious man’s presence. How his aunt not only tolerated, but seemed to enjoy Mr. Collins, he could not fathom. Any sane person would be justified in wanting to poison him. But Elizabeth was not among them, and it was only of her that he now focused his thoughts.

  After leaving Mr. Collins to compose himself, Darcy went below in an attempt to find Elizabeth. Passing by the library, he discovered the door ajar, and a despondent Mr. Bennet with head in hands.

  “Sir, are you ill?”

  Looking up, the Longbourn patriarch was surprised to see Darcy. He had no particular opinion of him, aside from the positive remarks made by his daughters.

  “I suppose I am, but without a cure. For a man with five daughters is always in a state of distress. Surely you have been informed of our present trouble?”

  “Indeed, but it is my belief that it is soon to come to an agreeable end. I have just come from Mr. Collins and it appears that he has been terribly mistaken about everything.”

  “And how exactly did this miracle come about?”

  “Let us just say that I can be very persuasive, but that is not the reason for my call.”

  Relieved, but confused, Mr. Bennet stared at Darcy in disbelief. For what purpose would a man of his consequence choose to interfere in his family’s drama?

  “I would like to officially court your daughter Elizabeth.”

  “I see… and is she in agreement?”

  “I am still working on that, but my intentions are honorable.”

  “Well then, I suggest you go out into the shrubbery. It is her place of solace.”

  Darcy smiled and left the library, having acquired parental consent was only part one of his goal achieved. Making Elizabeth fall in love with him would not be so simple.

  ~21~

  Despite Mr. Collins humble apology to not only Elizabeth, but the entire Bennet family, it did not solve their problems entirely. The inquest, having been officially begun, required a formal end. As a result, all concerned parties were still required to meet before the military panel. Of this, Darcy understood the necessity, but still felt the nervous hand of Elizabeth upon his arm. She had been pleased to see him yesterday, even before he told her that Mr. Collins was now willing to retract his accusations.

  “I cannot fathom as to why he believed my sisters and I were trying to harm him. Logic dictates otherwise, especially given the entailment.”

  Darcy had never mentioned money to Elizabeth, he was aware of the substantial difference in their situations.

  “I can only believe that it was a blow to his ego that none of you found him acceptable. It was his way of retaliation.”

  “Well, I must say that it was extreme. But despite this, I am apprehensive about the hearing. Such an accusation is never truly forgotten, only whispered about when one is absent. I do not want to be the subject of gossip for the rest of my life.”

  “Nor should you. No one should, unless it is truly warranted. Have you told your father what I said about Wickham?”

  “No, with all of this, I had forgotten. Lydia does seem to favor him.”

  “And he, her. Perhaps he has learned from his mistakes.”

  As soon as they were said, Darcy regretted his words for their falseness. But, Elizabeth, in her usual astute manner, saw through the polite suggestion.

  “A leopard does not change its spots, but Lydia is no example of perfection either. Although she is my sister, and for that I must love her, but were we not related, I should not have chosen her as a friend. Whether it be Wickham or someone else, Lydia will never be more than she is. If he wants her, no one would stand in their way.”

  “Even your father?”

  “Sadly no, he would be relieved that she is now someone else’s responsibility. It is ironic, Father had always worried that Lydia would be the one to cause a scandal, yet instead it has been me.”

  “No scandal has occurred, and by the end of the week, all will be in the past. It will be an excellent tale to tell your grandchildren.”

  “Grandchildren? I believe that is quite a long way off, if ever. I don’t even have any prospects for a husband.”

  “Don’t you?”

  Darcy’s words were barely above a whisper, but they caused Elizabeth to freeze in her steps. Turning, she stared at him with a new recognition. When had a simple friendship turned into something more? Her surprise was only magnified by the realization that she reciprocated, but it was far too early in their acquaintance to contemplate anything as serious as marriage. Her mother may advocate quick marriages, but Elizabeth wanted to be sure she truly knew the affections were constant. A marriage based on temporary infatuation would only result in misery. Instead of replying, she only placed her hand in his.

  This new discovery of mutual attraction did much to reassure Elizabeth that she was not alone as when they finally entered the Meryton public rooms once again. Instead of bearing the trappings of a ball, it was spare and Spartan. Two rows of straight-backed chairs stood before a long table. Behind, and already seated were Colonel Forster, Captain Denny and Lt. Wickham. On the table before them, in plain sight for all to view, were the items of incrimination; Mr. Collins’ box of herbs, and the posset that Elizabeth had placed in the teapot, still
tied with its blue ribbon.

  Taking one of the empty chairs, Elizabeth watched as the others filed in. Her parents and sisters were all there, as well as Sir William and Charlotte Lucas. They had been expected, but eventually, the room was filled as a number of officers and townspeople had decided to treat the proceedings as a form of entertainment. Sighing, she turned her face forward and tried to remain calm, but felt a bit like a circus attraction. Fortunately, Colonel Forster soon rose and called order to the crowd.

  “Thank you all for coming. Please keep in mind that this is simply a hearing, not a trial or any sort of official court. As such, we are here to listen to testimony and present evidence to determine if indeed any crime has taken place at all.”

  Gesturing to Mr. Collins, Colonel Forster asked him to come forward and give a summary of the events. To all present, it was a necessary but grave mistake as Mr. Collins required repeated reminders to stay on task and not give information that was not pertinent to anything. What resulted was a very long and exaggerated account of his personal health and request for compassion. But, nearly an hour later, he finally ceased.

  “So, you see my good people, it was only fear for my person that prompted me to accuse Cousin Elizabeth.”

  Sighing, Colonel Forster asked Mr. Collins to be seated. His patience was at an all time low to have discovered he wasted days on a man who did not know top from bottom. Next, he requested Dr. Crawford to identify the contents of not only the poisonous posset, but also Mr. Collins’ medicine. To this, Mr. Collins immediately stood in protest, but his demands were to be denied.

  “No sir, we must be clear that they are two different things entirely. Dr. Crawford… please elaborate for us in common terms.”

  “Er, yes. Well, upon inspection of the item that caused the illness; it was composed of typical ingredients used to ward off mice. Wormwood, Licorice root, heliobore and a great deal of peppermint, things found in any good kitchen garden. The others however, are more exotic, but consistent in their contents. Ginger, ginseng, some sort of ground animal horn and dried oyster.”