Her Rebel Heart
Page 10
At least Samuel smiles when he speaks to me.
She wondered what Monday's meeting would bring. She had promised Sally and Reverend Perry that she would serve with a charitable attitude.
But if he continues to befriend Federal soldiers then I shall have to think otherwise. After all, the Reverend would not want Sally or me in harm's way.
"
Sam bowed his head to pray. He had made his peace with Edward, at least as far as it depended on him. The letter he had written was not a long one but he felt a great weight had been lifted from his chest the moment he placed it in Sally's hands.
"Bless you, Samuel," she had said. "If more men of this city showed your spirit of reconciliation, I believe this war would end without further injury."
He appreciated her kind words as well as the prayers he knew she was offering on his and Julia's behalf.
Goodness knows, he needed all the prayers he could garner. The pull on his heart to become further involved with Dr. Carter's abolitionist friends was growing stronger every day. He prayed for them and for the runaways they were assisting. He had already given money from his meager savings for food and whatever other expenses they may incur.
But he could not help but believe he was called to do more.
Still, he hesitated. Actively assisting runaway slaves was against the law. Sam did not fear his own arrest, for he firmly believed God's law superseded any written by man. But he could not bear the thought of those he cared for being implicated in such so-called crimes.
What if my activities somehow endanger Julia and her family? The suspicion against those in the Mount Vernon district grows stronger every day. The Federal Army needs no further excuse for badgering them.
He had wanted to speak with Dr. Stanton about the issue from the beginning. The man had expressed interest in Sam's antislavery discussions ever since his first semesters in Philadelphia. Dr. Stanton had even recently asked to borrow his narrative of Frederick Douglass, saying he would like to learn more on the subject.
Perhaps I should just speak straightforwardly. I know that even if Julia's father believes my actions are foolish, he would never report me to those in authority.
Sam made up his mind. He would approach Dr. Stanton after the service and ask for a time to meet with him.
Chapter Eight
Finally, the service drew to a close. Reverend Perry concluded his sermon, then a hymn was sung and the congregation was dismissed with a prayer. Sam then approached Dr. Stanton. The man smiled pleasantly as always.
"Sir, I was wondering if perhaps there would be a time that I may speak with you this week? There is something I would like to discuss with you."
From the corner of his eye he saw Julia. She was watching him. Before she could become a distraction to him, Sam focused his full attention on her father.
"I am available to meet with you now," Dr. Stanton said.
Sam was delightfully surprised yet hesitant. As eager as he was for the man's advice, he suddenly felt unprepared to share all he had been thinking.
"Unless of course this is a private matter," Dr. Stanton said.
Julia turned away, moving to visit with a friend in another pew. Sam's thoughts cleared somewhat upon her departure.
"I am in need of some advice," he told Dr. Stanton.
The man stroked the ends of his mustache. "Well, perhaps it is best not to delay. We could speak now. Esther and Julia can visit with their friends."
"That would not be an inconvenience?"
Dr. Stanton grinned and shook his head. "Of course not. They always accuse me of leaving church too quickly."
He spoke to his wife briefly and Mrs. Stanton nodded. She smiled at Sam then sought out Reverend Perry's wife for conversation.
Dr. Stanton asked the minister if he could borrow his ready room. He and Sam walked to the front of the church and opened the small door to the left of the pulpit. The room was crowded with hymn books and Bibles. A clerical robe hung from one of the peg racks.
Dr. Stanton took a seat at a small table in the corner of the room. "Now, son, what's on your mind?"
Sam made certain that the door was shut tight before claiming the second chair at the table. He whispered a quick prayer and plunged forward.
"Well, sir, it concerns my antislavery convictions."
"I see. What about them?"
He told him of Dr. Carter and of the meeting he had attended. Dr. Stanton listened patiently, with great interest.
"I have been praying for the end of slavery for sometime now and you of course know my position concerning the war."
Dr. Stanton nodded. "But you sense the time has come to do more than pray."
"Yes, sir."
"After reading your book, I can't say I am surprised."
Sam's heart quickened with excitement. He respected the man as much as he had his own father. He hoped Dr. Stanton would say more but when he didn't, Sam decided to ask plainly, "What do you think I should do, sir?"
Julia's father was quiet for a moment. He tugged at his spectacles before speaking. "That is not for me to say, son. That is between you and the Lord."
Sam's heart sank. He knew the man was right, of course. He supposed what he had really been looking for was Dr. Stanton's blessing. It shouldn't have mattered so; but it did.
"Yes, sir, well, I thank you for listening. I would appreciate your prayers."
"I have been praying for you," the man said, "about a good many things and I will continue to do so."
Sam shook his hand. "Thank you, sir." He stood. Just as he was about to move to the door, Dr. Stanton spoke again.
"I will say this."
Sam stopped.
"Should you decide that the Lord is leading you to take such action'¦" He paused. "Should you ever have need of a physician, well, you know where to find me."
A peace immediately washed over Sam. Julia's father had given him the blessing he had hoped for. His faith was strengthened by Dr. Stanton's offer to help. It further encouraged Sam that his course of action was the right one. He prayed that wherever this road was leading, Julia would eventually travel alongside him.
"
She arrived before noon on Monday with her tray full of bread. Her manner was guarded. Whether that had to do with Federal soldiers, his conversation with her father or his letter to Edward, he wasn't sure. He was certain Sally had told her that he had written him. Sam wondered what she thought about that but he did not ask.
"Thank you for returning my tray," she said to him.
"You are welcome. I was going to bring it by the house but'" He caught himself. There was no point reminding her that she had asked him not to call. She knew that already.
There was an awkward pause. He offered a smile and asked, "What kind of bread did you bring today?"
"Barley loaves and apple butter."
His mouth watered and a delightful memory stirred. "Is that the apple butter from last fall?"
"It is."
He had been home from school on a semester break. They had gone to the Hastings family farm north of Baltimore. He and Edward had gathered the apples. Julia and Sally had stood over the cooking pots.
Sam had carried in armful after armful of firewood to keep their warm, golden pulp at the proper temperature. It was a task he had not minded. Julia let him steal a kiss when no one was looking.
He wondered if she remembered doing so. She must have, for her face was now as red as one of those perfect apples. She drew her handkerchief from her pocket. She dabbed at her cheeks.
"It is going to be warm today," she said.
He tried not to stare but even when flustered, she was so beautiful.
> "It will be," he said. "I have filled the water barrels to the brim."
"That is kind of you." She slipped the handkerchief into her pocket then began spreading the apple butter on the bread. While she worked, she studied the street. "I wonder if Elijah and Elisha will be back today."
"They will if their master sends them this way."
With Sally's arrival, Julia began to smile. The conversation between him and her, however, was still strained.
About half past noon Elijah and Elisha approached. Once again they were struggling with a sack of grain.
She scooped up two slices of barley bread and immediately started across the street. He followed after her with two cups of cold water. She glanced back at him as if he were intruding.
"They won't come to the table for a drink, Julia," he said. "We will have to go to them."
Without a word, she hurried between the carriage wheels. The boys set down the sack. Elijah lifted the tattered cap covering his head.
"Afternoon, ma'am," he said.
"Good afternoon," Julia replied. "Do you boys like apple butter?"
"Oh, yes'um!"
She handed them each a slice. Lips smacking, they practically inhaled the bread. Sam chuckled to himself then handed them each a tin cup.
"You must be thirsty," he said.
"Oh, yes, ser."
All tension had melted from her face. She smiled at the boys and then at him. Sam drank in the moment.
The two brothers had made an impression on her, apparently as much as she had on them. Julia spoke to them as she would have to any other child, lovingly, enthusiastically. Elijah and Elisha had relished the attention. She may be set in her opinions and given to temper at times but there was still no other woman Sam wanted to influence his children.
"That is a large sack of grain you are carrying," she said to the boys. "Where are you going?"
"We'z goin' to the blacksmith up yonder on Scott Street," Elijah said.
She looked surprised. It was a distance of another five blocks. "How far have you come?"
"From Master Wallace's dry goods store."
"And where is that?"
"On Light Street."
Sam knew the place. It was a store just before the wharf. As heavy as the grain sack was, it was a wonder their backs had not given out.
The children thanked them for the refreshment then Elijah said, "We'z best be on our way."
Sam helped them shoulder the grain and the two boys started off. He and Julia crossed back to the churchyard. Her eyes, however, continued to follow after them.
"
She and Sally served the bread to those who passed by. Samuel handed out the cold water. She was thankful there were no Federal soldiers at the table today; yet Julia still had a heavy heart. The two Negro children remained in her thoughts. Their bodies were thin and gaunt. How they had managed to drag such a heavy load all the way from the harbor was beyond her imagination. She wondered if they had reached their destination. Had the bread she had given them provided enough nourishment for the journey?
I should have done something more to help them, she thought.
In a small way the brothers reminded her of Edward and Samuel when they were young. One was talkative, the other quiet and observant. The two of them were always covered in dirt, as well'play clothes torn.
Perhaps that is why I feel drawn to them. They remind me of a simpler time.
She sighed. Whatever the reason, the little boys made her smile. She prayed the Lord would allow her to see them again.
However, the following day her prayer went unanswered. Elijah and Elisha did not pass her way.
Sally left the noon meeting early because her father was hosting an event for some of his fellow city council members and she had to prepare the meal. That left Julia alone at the bread table with Samuel.
She tried to make polite, task-oriented conversation but it was difficult. The traffic on the street was light. Few visitors came. The lack of attendance set her to worrying.
Have most given up on prayer? Will Edward's regiment feel the difference?
"
Reverend Perry stuck his balding head out the front door as the service was dismissing.
"Sam, Julia, would you come here, please?"
Sam acknowledged the man with an affirmative nod.
"I do hope nothing is wrong," Julia said.
"I don't think anything is wrong." If anything, the preacher seemed rather excited.
They left the empty cups at the table and climbed the stairs. He kept a step behind her until she reached the front door. He then opened it for her.
"After you," he said.
"Thank you."
Reverend Perry was standing in the foyer, grinning from ear to ear. Two elderly matrons were with him. Each held a basket of baked goods in her hands.
"I believe you both know Widow Crowley," the Reverend said.
Sam did. The woman attended their congregation. She used to pinch his cheeks when he was a little boy.
"Ma'am," he and Julia both said in unison.
She nodded, the long lappets on her lace cap swaying. She then gestured toward the woman beside her. She wore an identical cap. "This is my sister-in-law, Mrs. Crowley. She is a Catholic."
Sam wondered what the woman's church affiliation had to do with anything but he smiled politely.
Reverend Perry explained. "These dear ladies have brought forth a wonderful gift. They have packed a basket of sweets for each of the local businesses."
"It is more than sweets, Reverend," Widow Crowley pointed out. "It is manna from heaven."
Sam and Julia exchanged quick glances. Mrs. Crowley then explained,
"We placed Bibles in the baskets, as well. My cousin works down at the American Bible Society and he gave me a box full of New Testaments. We baked the tea cakes last night."
"How many baskets did you make?" Julia asked, intrigued.
The Crowley women smiled proudly. "Twenty-five."
She gasped, obviously impressed. Sam couldn't help but grin. Julia had met her match in the kitchen.
"We added a notice about the prayer meeting, as well," Reverend Perry said. "I have already enlisted the help of several volunteers but would the two of you be kind enough to help deliver a basket to one of the businesses?"
"Of course," Sam said immediately. "We would be happy to."
He had not looked to Julia when he said that. He wasn't sure she would be interested in delivering anything, anywhere with him. He was fairly certain though that she would not decline a service opportunity in front of Reverend Perry and the matrons.
She surprised him, however, with her enthusiasm. "We could visit the dry goods store on Light Street."
He turned. She looked at him almost mischievously. In choosing that location he knew she was thinking of Elijah and Elisha. It pleasured Sam to share the secret.
"I think that is a wonderful idea," he said.
Julia grinned.
"So do I," said Reverend Perry. "I will see to the remaining baskets." He thanked them and then returned to the Sanctuary.
Widow Crowley handed Sam the basket she was holding. When his hands were full she reached up to pinch his cheek. For a moment he was five years old again.
"Bless you, boy," she said. "Your mother and father would be proud of you."
"Thank you, ma'am, and thank you for your service."
A delightful sound, one he had not heard in quite a while filled his ears. Julia was giggling. He glanced at her. The look on her face was worth the pain in his.
She quickly stifled her laughter. "
I shall be just a moment," she said.
"I will wait outside."
He wasn't sure what she was up to, but, a few minutes later, Julia descended the front steps, carrying a second basket. She was beaming.
"I asked Widow Crowley if it would be all right with her to give two baskets to one business," she said.
"What did she say?"
"She told me to follow the Lord's leading."
Her eyes were wide with excitement. She was hatching a plan but just what kind, he could not say. Sam cocked back his topper. "What did you have in mind?"
"Perhaps we can give the tea cakes to Elijah and Elisha themselves, to their family. And the Bible'"
"They can't read," he said.
"Well, yes I know they are still young but when they get older'¦"
He shook his head. She had no idea what their life was like. He could not blame her for that. He had no idea, either, until recently.
"Julia, it is against the law to teach a slave to read."
Her eyes narrowed. "Truly?"
"Yes."
"That makes no sense at all," she said. "Would they not be better workers if they were literate? Could they not make deliveries with more ease if they could read the street signs and notices?"
"It isn't about their ease."
She looked hurt. He hadn't meant to discourage her; he simply wanted her to understand. Sam hoped to give her an idea of what life was like for Elijah and Elisha but he had to choose his examples carefully. Slavery was a brutal institution. No lady should be subjected to such horrible details.
"Your idea is a noble one," he said. "And I, more than anyone, would like to deliver the basket to them but'¦" He paused, searching.
"But what?"
"In all likelihood, their master won't allow it."
"Why? What harm is there in tea cakes and Scripture?"
"It is a matter of control. If a slave is kept illiterate, unable to know of the value the Savior places on his life, then that slave will never rebel."