Ben looked across at him and opened his mouth as though to protest. Isabell, however, put a hand on his and looked back at Joshua.
“Of course, you may be excused, Joshua,” she said. “Go tend to your horses.”
Immediately, Joshua jumped from his seat, pushed back his chair, and headed out the front door of the small farm house.
As soon as he reached the outside, he took a large, gulping breath of air. He felt it rush through his lungs as though it was giving him new life, as though this air, devoid of the tension he felt in the home with his brother, would be his salvation.
With renewed purpose, he made his way quickly to the stables where the horses were kept.
Since their father passed, not two years ago, Ben and Joshua had taken over all the work on the farm. Though, truth be told, the only work Joshua truly seemed suited to was tending the horses.
Luckily for Joshua, Ben had never much cared for mucking out stalls or grooming horses’ manes. And Ben’s riding skills were less than satisfactory.
This meant that Joshua had the horses and the stables almost entirely to himself. Even if Ben needed a horse to pull the cart into town, he would ask Joshua to fetch him one.
This suited Joshua very well indeed. Not only because he loved the horses, it also gave him a space to work on his saddle making which was becoming more than profitable.
This morning, as the sun climbed higher in the sky, turning the light from dim orange and pink to bright beaming yellow, he opened the door of the stables to whinnies and sounds of expectation from the horses.
Joshua was later than usual today and the beasts were clearly anxious to be fed and put out to pasture. Joshua opened each of the stalls in turn and led the five horses kept in the stables out to drink and eat their oats.
When the stalls were mucked and fresh hay placed inside, he moved back to the small room where his true work sat waiting for him. His father had turned a smaller stall in the back of the stables into a work space when he was alive. Now, Joshua used it for his saddle making.
When he moved behind the small wall that separated the room from the rest of the stables, he could tell immediately that something was wrong.
He felt the wind from outside the barn blowing cool on his face. He looked immediately towards its source and found the window on the low side of the barn lifted open.
Joshua moved towards it cautiously and looked down as he pushed it closed. The window was only slightly raised from the floor of the barn. Someone could easily have lifted the window from the outside and climbed in.
Cautiously, he grabbed a small rake standing upright beside the window and went to check the other stalls where the hay was kept for the horses.
Joshua stopped as his feet creaked on a loose wooden board. As the sound echoed through the space, it was followed by another sound. A much softer groan issued from a stall across the way that still sat in shadow.
When he stepped closer, Joshua could see the hay kept there moving about as though someone or something was rolling inside it.
When he reached the spot where the groan had sounded, his eyes widened in shock.
A small beam of light, cutting through the shadow of the room's outcrop revealed the face of a young girl, surely no older than seventeen.
Her eyes were pressed closed and her soft brown hair fell across her face. When Joshua stepped back and the girl’s entire form was revealed, he could see a large, clearly pregnant belly protruded from the haystack.
The girl’s ringless left hand splayed over her stomach as though trying to soothe the child inside as she slept.
For a moment, Joshua panicked, unsure what to do. He knew he had to wake this girl just as he knew that she could not stay inside the stables.
If Ben had found her, he surely would have woken her up and chased her off without a single qualm. They had very little in the way of food as it was. And he was certain his brother would not approve of giving their scraps to promiscuous young women who had landed themselves in trouble.
But when Joshua looked at this girl, he saw her lips form a worried frown even in sleep. When he looked at her more closely, he could see bruises on her arms as though she had been grabbed there by a strong and forceful hand. When her eyes moved they pressed the lines of her forehead down in worry.
A guilty, sinking feeling overcame him at the thought of chasing this girl away from the stables. All the same, he knew he could not simply leave her there asleep without a word.
So, as gently as he could, he raised the dull end of the rake and lightly touched the wood to her shoulder.
The girl’s eyes scrunched for a moment as she turned. With another groan, her eyes blinked open. They widened when they caught sight of Joshua and she scuttled backward opening her mouth as though to scream.
*****
Eliza
Eliza Howlstead awoke to find two blue eyes staring at her out of an unfamiliar face. At first, she felt confused, wondering where her familiar bedroom had gone. Then she quickly remembered where she was.
Now this boy, stocky, blue-eyed and clean shaven, was looking down on her, a rake in his hand, clearly intent on chasing her out.
She pushed herself backward against the hay and opened her mouth to scream.
“Shhh,” the boy said quickly. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”
She looked at him skeptically before turning her eyes towards the window, where the morning sun was already bright in the sky. Apparently, her exhausted body, already worn from carrying a child, had not allowed her to carry out her promise to leave at first light.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said. “I-I didn’t mean to stay so long I…”
“Who are you?” the boy asked. For some reason, the boy’s blue eyes were just as wide as Eliza’s, his voice sounded just as frightened and shaky.
“My name is Eliza,” she said. “And...and, again, I’m sorry. I thought no one would mind if I just...rested here the night. I’ll go now.”
She made to stand up but he reached forward and put a hand on her arm to stop her. She felt the heat from his hand even through the rough fabric of her dress and looked up at him.
His dark blue eyes were still slightly wide, but they seemed filled now with something other than fear.
“Do you have anywhere to go?” he asked.
“I’ll make my way into town,” Eliza said, repeating her hastily made plans. “I’m sure I can find some accommodation there.”
Even as she said this, she sat back down on the hay. Her legs seemed unstable and did not wish her to move, no matter what plans she had to the contrary.
To her surprise, the boy sat down next to her.
“What are you running from?” he asked.
She looked at him and felt a small smile creep across her face for the first time that morning.
“Does an unmarried woman carrying a child need a reason to run?” she asked.
“I suppose not,” he said. “And I suppose you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
She glanced at him once more and he gave her a half-smile in return, full of understanding. Perhaps it was that small half smile, that hint of kindness that inspired her to say what she said next.
“My father,” she answered him. “I did my best to hide my condition from him. But it became impossible. He told me that he would send the child to an orphanage the moment it was born. I said I wouldn’t allow it. I wanted to keep my baby. He said he would kill me if I didn’t agree to give it up. So, I ran.”
He looked at her for a long moment then, with a nod, turned away as though making some kind of decision.
Eliza kept her eyes on him wanting, desperately to know what he was thinking. She wanted, no, she needed to know if she would have to run again and, if so, how soon.
Finally, he turned back to her.
“Wait here,” he said.
And, with that, he rushed out of the stables. Eliza glanced out the window and saw him rush towards the small farmhous
e at the top of the hill.
She turned slowly from the window and stared down at the wooden floor from the haystack where she sat. She could feel her heart pounding inside her chest, her pulse racing with the worst kind of anxiety.
How could she have been so stupid as to trust this boy immediately? She did not even know his name. Now, he could be sending somebody to contact the authorities. They would either take her back to her father or send her to jail. She couldn’t decide which of these prospects were worse.
The sheriff in town might even alert Charlie Sanders. There was a possibility the bounty hunter had already made his way into town and had begun asking about her.
This prospect was worse even than the fear of facing her father’s wrath. Charlie would never permit Eliza to raise another man’s child. He would likely kill the baby as soon as it was born.
She put an instinctive, protective hand against her child at the thought.
Eliza jumped when she heard the door to the stables open once more. When she looked up, she felt her eyes widen in surprise.
The boy had returned with a tin cup and something wrapped in a napkin in his hand.
“Here,” he said handing her the napkin and setting the cup down beside her.
Eliza kept her eyes on him as she cautiously unwrapped the cloth on her lap. When she finally looked down, she revealed two pieces of bread and a bit of cheese.
She glanced over at the tin cup to find it filled with milk. Finally, she allowed herself to glance back up at the boy in front of her.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
He gave her a small half-smile.
“My name is Joshua,” he said. “Joshua Gates. You can stay here as long as you like, I can keep bringing you food from the house. I would offer you a room there but...I live here with my brother and he can be...a bit harsh.”
“This is perfectly fine. Thank you again, Joshua.”
She smiled as she said his name. She didn’t know why but it felt sweet in her mouth, almost like honey. When she looked at him, he gave her that same shy half smile once more. She felt her stomach give a slight, pleasant jolt that she knew had nothing to do with the child growing there.
“I couldn’t let you wander about on your own,” he said. “Not in your condition.”
She gave an ironic little laugh.
“Women do it more often than you know,” she said. “Being with a child does not mean we are confined to bed.”
His face colored and he looked down as though embarrassed. Clearly, he did not know as much as many of his peers about such matters.
“Even so,” he said, “I know you’ll be safe here.”
“Does your brother not check the stables?” she asked. The way he’d spoken about his brother, it sounded as though he would not take kindly to finding a strange woman living in his stables. Particularly not one in her condition.
Luckily Joshua shook his head.
“Not often,” he said. “I look after the horses. It seems to be the one thing my brother trusts me with. I’ll make certain you’re not discovered.”
She gave him a grateful smile which he returned. This one seemed much less shy. Indeed, it reached all the way up to his eyes, giving them a brilliant sort of glow.
“Joshua!”
The sound of the new voice calling from outside the stables caused both of them to jump.
“Stop playing with your saddles. We need to fix that pig gate.”
The voice was indeed harsh. Eliza could not blame Joshua when a tiny quiver entered his voice when he called back to his brother.
“Just a moment!”
He looked back at Eliza and spoke quietly.
“I’ll be back a little after midday to bring you more food,” he said. “I’ll bring you enough for supper as well. I likely won’t make it back after sunset.”
“That’ll do fine,” she answered quickly. “Thank you again.”
He began to smile at her once more before the harsh voice made him jump once again.
“Joshua!”
Immediately, Joshua rushed out the door to the stables.
Eliza moved carefully to the now closed window and saw Joshua move towards a small pig enclosure a little way off. Next to him was a tall man with dark hair who, even from the back looked more than a bit imposing.
She found that she could not help a small pang of worry come to her heart when she wondered what might happen if that man caught sight of her in the barn.
Setting the fear aside as best she could, she moved carefully back to the tin cup, bread, and cheese that Joshua had brought for her.
As she ate and drank more than she had in the past two days. She felt her child kick happily in her belly. She put a hand against his tiny foot and sighed in relief.
For now, at least, they were safe.
*****
Joshua
Joshua felt a thrill move through his chest as he headed off to the stables after the midday meal.
He told his brother that the horses needed to be put out to pasture once more in the middle of the day. It was best to give them some exercise.
Though he knew his brother did not truly believe him, he also knew that Ben believed Joshua to truly be working on his saddles. And because this kept Joshua out of Ben’s way, he seemed more than happy to let him carry on with it.
So he’d let Joshua run back to the stables with a casual wave of his hand. Now, as Joshua neared the large, wooden building, he felt his heart skip wondering what Eliza would be up to when he arrived.
It had been two weeks since he’d discovered Eliza asleep in the hay. Since then, she’d not only created a small bedroom for herself in the back of the barn, but she’d also taken to brushing the horses when they were in their stalls and changing out their water once a day.
Once, he’d even found her mucking out the horse’s stalls when he’d arrived one morning with breakfast for her. He remembered forcefully taking the rake out of her hand.
“What are you doing?” he’d asked with a shocked tone. The barn doors had already been thrown open and the horses pranced about the outer enclosure.
“I am starting your work for you,” she said. “I used to help muck out the stables at my father’s ranch. I know how it’s done. Besides, it goes faster with two.”
She reached for the rake again, once more, he pulled it back.
“You shouldn’t be doing this sort of work in your...condition,” he said. He still felt a blush come to his cheeks whenever he brought attention to the child growing in Eliza’s belly, even after two weeks.
To his surprise, she rolled her eyes at him.
“I am pregnant,” she said, “not an invalid. And I cannot simply sit idle on a makeshift bed in a haystack, it’s not my way.”
Forcefully, she reached over and grabbed the rake from his hand and turned back to her work. This time, he did not attempt to stop her. He was surprised to realize that she was right, the mucking out did go much more quickly with two hands.
Still, the color in her cheeks when they had finished and the way she sank down into the haystack, wincing and holding a hand to her stomach made him more than a little concerned.
She’d finally agreed to leave the mucking out to him.
“But, I cannot agree not to do any work,” she said. “It would drive me crazy!”
So, it was agreed that Eliza would brush the horses out and continue to change their water at the end of the day. Even so, more than once Joshua had caught her attempting to lift farm equipment or clean out areas of the stables that he had let go.
There was no telling what he would find when he arrived at the stables each day. Even so, the thought of seeing her, rake in hand or not, caused a smile to form on his lips.
When he opened the stable’s large door, he was surprised to find her nowhere near the horses. He moved to the back of the stable near the haystacks with Eliza’s mid-day meal in hand.
She was not on the small bed either.
He
only had to look to his right when he saw her in the small work area he had created, standing beside his workbench and admiring the saddle he’d been working on.
He felt a pang of regret when he realized that he’d been neglecting his work ever since Eliza arrived.
He moved towards her as quietly as he could, she seemed to sense his presence all the same.
He saw a small smile cross her lips.
“Did you make this?” she asked, her eyes still on the gleaming, half-finished saddle on the work table.
“I’ve started to make it, yes,” he answered.
“It’s nice,” she said reaching out a hand to touch it. Instinctively, he moved towards her and reached a hand out to stop her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have asked.”
“Don’t be,” he answered. “It’s just a bit delicate at the moment. The polish isn’t finished.”
She nodded in understanding but kept her eyes on the saddle.
“Have you made anymore?” she asked.
“A few,” he answered. “Ben likes to use mine for the horses. Saves money.”
Her eyes darted from the saddle back up to him.
“You only make them for your brother?” she asked.
He pursed his lips, unsure whether or not he should reveal his secret. He thought of the box hidden beneath the creaking wooden board beneath the stable floor. He imagined showing it to Eliza, sharing his secret with her.
He had to admit the idea was enticing. The thrill of sharing one secret with her had proved to be beyond exciting. At the idea of sharing another, he could feel his heart leap inside his chest.
But almost as soon as it did, his logical side took over. He’d promised himself that he would not show his profits to anyone until he had made enough to leave the farm. And one secret, even one shared with a girl as pretty as Eliza, was plenty to contend with.
“Yes,” he lied. “My father showed me how to make them when he was alive. He used to make his own as well. Now, my brother lets me carry on with it.”
Eliza gave him a skeptical glance and turned back towards the saddle.
“I know plenty of people who would pay good money for something like this,” she said.
Sunlight and Shadows Page 29
