Sunlight and Shadows

by Christine Cross

  “Yes, it’s such a great apartment. And Mom and Pop are coming up from Florida for the weekend. I’d love you to meet them.”

  “I’d like that too,” Jessica said, smiling.

  Suddenly Ryan’s face froze. His eyes were fixed on another table where a dark haired woman was sitting with her back to him. “That woman looks just like my wife,” he said. “I have to be sure it’s her.”

  Jessica watched as he walked over to the other table. She could hear him saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else. My mistake.”

  He came back shaking his head and looking a little flustered. “I can’t move forward, Jessica, until I find her.”

  “Have you tried another detective agency? Surely someone can find her.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to be found,” Ryan said looking rather lost and sad. “I think if Adele was alive, she would have contacted me.”

  “Yes, but it’s strange that your brother went missing at the same time, and neither one of them have contacted anyone.”

  “Yeah, it ripped the guts out of the folks. Mom cannot cope at times. And I don’t think that I can get involved in another relationship until I have some sort of closure.”

  Jessica’s heart sank. Here was a man who was everything she wanted, a man so different to her father, a man she could love.

  “So here’s to friendship, then, Ryan,” she said, clinking her glass with his. “And to hopefully finding your wife and brother.”

  “Yes, friendship, Jess. Unfortunately, that is all I can offer you right now. I have too many demons to deal with before I can think of anything more than that.”

  “I understand, Ryan. I really would love us to be friends. So here’s to a good friendship.”

  Ryan smiled but in his soft hazel eyes there was a look of sadness and pain. “Well, let’s look at this menu, shall we?”

  Jessica ordered the fish of the day with fries and salad.

  “I think I’ll go for the prime rib with steamed vegetables. And how about we share a bottle of the Italian Sparkling Mineral Water.”

  “That sounds nice.”

  ***

  As autumn became winter, Jessica realized that her feelings for Ryan were increasingly becoming much stronger than friendship.

  “It’s so frustrating, Claire,” she was saying one day as they went shopping together. “I mean he says that all he wants is friendship, but he introduced me to his parents, which made me feel as though I was more like a girlfriend than a friend. I think I’m getting mixed messages from him. And we see each other all the time. I mean nearly every day. And this weekend we are going camping.”

  “Well, you’ll just have to be patient. Friendship is the best basis for romance. Just wait and see what happens.”

  “Well, he’s never going to want romance until he finds out what happened to Adele, his wife, and his brother. He needs closure before he can get involved with someone again.”

  “Well, if I were you, I’d try to find her myself, somehow. Maybe you could hire a detective yourself.”

  “Hmm, that is something I should think about. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for Ryan to want me more than just a friend.”

  “Well, one of my clients has a detective agency. I’ll grab a business card off him next time I see him.”

  “Thanks, Claire, that would be great.”

  ***

  Dave’s Detective Agency was located just outside of Manhattan, in Mid-town New York, so Jessica took the day off work to make the drive down there. It was a blistering cold day in January, and a light, drizzle of snow was falling, covering the ground with a blanket of white.

  “Come in, come in,” a jovial voice called out as she entered the door at the agency. “My name is Dave. You must be Jessica. Would you like a hot drink? I’ve got tea, coffee or hot chocolate.”

  “A hot chocolate would be lovely, thanks. It’s so cold out there. I could do with something to warm me up.”

  “Now, do you have a photo of this lady, what’s her name, Adele, isn’t it? And the missing man, your friend’s brother?” Dave said, as he made the drinks.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Ryan, my friend, was happy to give me a photo of them. But, this was taken over ten years ago, just before they went missing. And the last time that Ryan saw Adele was the morning of the twelfth of June when he left for work. When he came home that night, she was gone and she never returned or made contact. She did take a small suitcase with some of her stuff though and Ryan said she took all of her savings out of the bank that day, so she had a lot of cash on her.”

  “Sounds like she was running away. And maybe with the brother. You said on the phone that his name was Adam, Adam Steele. So, leave it with me. I’ll do some checking and I’ll call you when something turns up.”

  “Oh, thank you Dave, thank you so much. I hope you find them soon. Ryan needs to know what happened and why.”

  “He’s lucky to have a friend like you, Jessica. That’s all I can say.”

  “Yes, we are very good friends. I just want him to have some sort of closure so that he can move on with his life.”

  *****

  As she left Dave’s office, Jessica noticed the name of the building next door. It said, “Reaching the Unreachable. Everyone is Welcome.” Curiosity pulled Jessica towards the doorway, and peering inside she saw a group of people talking together and listening as a rather thin elderly lady began to talk.

  Jessica opened the door as if compelled by some force to hear this lady speak.

  “Well, we all know that Jesus has brought us here together for a reason. Our Father in Heaven has a plan and a purpose for each and every one of us, and He wants us to serve him in love and willingness. So far, we have been able to serve Him by using the donations we receive to fund our orphanage in Uganda. And I have some recent photos of the children there from my last trip in December. We had such a lovely Christmas, thanks to the money we raised, and each child was given a present, and some new clothing as well as a plentiful Christmas lunch. But we do need more volunteers to go over and help with running the programs for the children. And we need someone to help run the school.”

  Suddenly, noticing Jessica standing in the doorway, the lady smiled and beckoned her to join them. “Hi, my name’s Annie Oliver. Welcome to our group today.”

  “Oh, hi,” Jessica said, feeling an abundance of love and warmth permeating through the room. “My name is Jessica Stone. And I’m just visiting from Manhattan.”

  “Well, you are most welcome, dear. We need as many people as God sends us.”

  God sends us? Jessica had heard about God, but she had never been a church goer, and now she felt a little lost among these people who obviously knew Him very well.

  “Well, I don’t know if it was God who sent me, or just my curiosity at what you do here. I must admit it was your sign that compelled me to come in. Reaching the unreachable.”

  “Yes, that is what we try to do here. We try to help people who have lost sight of God, or who have never known Him, and teach them about His love and grace and eternal salvation,” Annie explained. “We also have an orphanage in Uganda where we look after children who have lost their parents, or been abandoned. And at the moment we are desperately in need of donations and volunteers to help our orphanage.”

  “Well, to be honest, I don’t know much about your God, but I can certainly help those orphans with a donation. Here, I’ll write you a check.”

  Opening up her check book, Jessica wrote a check for ten thousand dollars. “I hope this can help,” she said as Annie beamed in disbelief.

  “Ten thousand dollars! My dear, dear girl, you can’t imagine how much this will help those poor orphans. Here, let me show you some photos.”

  Looking at their happy little faces, Jessica’s heart reached out to them. She remembered how she had suffered as a child from lack of food and clothing. No child should ever have to live like that.

  “Helping
out brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction, something that’s been missing in my life for a long time now. In fact, I would love to go over to Uganda and help out there doing voluntary work. I can probably take a month off work if that helps.”

  “Oh, I knew God would send us someone soon. What a blessing you are. A month of your time will be so helpful. I cannot thank you enough.”

  “Well, I don’t know much about this God of yours, Annie. But I’d like to find out.”

  “That’s wonderful, dear. Why don’t we start with some books. We also give out free Bibles to those in need, and we have some wonderful magazines about what our missionaries have done in Uganda in spreading the Gospel.”

  “Thank you, Annie,” Jessica said, holding a leather bound copy of the Holy Bible in her hands. “I’ve never had a Bible before. I will treasure this.”

  “The best place to start reading it is the four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. And we have a church meeting here every Sunday morning at ten a.m. I would love you to come and join us.”

  “Of course, I will,” Jessica promised, feeling excited at coming back to this loving atmosphere and the future prospect of visiting the Ugandan orphanage. “I’ll see you this Sunday. Oh, and I’ll let you know what date I will be available to go to Uganda. I’m thinking early February which is in a few weeks’ time.”

  “That would be marvelous. Now we provide basic accommodation and food over there, so all you need are your flight and some money of your own.”

  “Thanks, Annie,” Jessica said, giving her a hug as she left. “I’m looking forward to Sunday.”

  *****

  Packing to go Uganda was one of the happiest days of Jessica’s life. Something inside her had changed dramatically since meeting Annie that day. She couldn’t get enough of the Bible and hungered to know more about this amazing and awesome God who apparently loved her so much and so unconditionally that He had sent His own Son, Jesus to die on the cross for her salvation.

  She felt as though the emptiness inside her was gradually being filled with the Holy Spirit, and for the first time in her life she learnt to talk to God through prayer. “Thank you, Lord, for introducing me to Annie, and thank you for your Word in this Holy Book, the Bible. Thank you for teaching me forgiveness. I have learnt to forgive my parents as you forgave us for our sins. And thank you for giving me my identity, which is in knowing that I am your child, and that you have a plan and purpose for me. I pray for the children in the orphanage, and I pray for Ryan and that his broken heart can be healed. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

  It was Ryan who took her to the airport one cold Sunday morning in February. “Have a good trip, Jessica. I’ll be thinking of you and all those little orphans over there.”

  He gave her a big hug, while Jessica wished she could stay locked in his arms forever. But the moment soon ended with the voice of the air hostess saying, “Calling all passengers for Flight 1156 to Uganda…we are boarding now.

  As the plane took off from the tarmac, Jessica closed her eyes, hoping that Ryan would miss her enough during this coming month so that when she arrived back he might want more of a relationship from her. I want more than friendship, Ryan. I want you!

  Sixteen hours later, Jessica arrived at The Light Shines Within Us Orphanage located in a small village called Jinja. The lush green landscape took her breath away as she was driven into the orphanage which was situated near Lake Victoria and the beginning of the Nile River.

  “How beautiful it is here, Manuel,” she commented to her driver who worked as a handyman at the orphanage. “And the children all look so happy playing with those chickens.”

  “Yes, they have very little, but they are very content and happy, and they just love being with the animals . We have cattle and goats as well as those chickens.”

  Jessica noticed the farm animals walking freely through the village and across the wide red-soil road that they were traveling on.

  “This soil looks very good here,” Jessica said noticing several shacks built alongside the road with crops of vegetables in every garden.

  “Yes, it is very good for growing our vegetables and grains. And the children love playing in the garden. And picking and eating the fruit when it is in season.”

  A group of children with smiling, beaming faces ran up to the car and surrounded it as they pulled up. “Mr. Manuel, Mr. Manuel, you are back!” they shouted loudly.

  Opening the car door, Jessica was assaulted by the hugs and kisses from the excited children. It was impossible not to fall in love with these gentle and welcoming little souls.

  “I’m Joyce,” said a small child, grabbing onto Jessica’s hand as though she would never let go. “And I’m eight.”

  “That’s the only English she knows,” said Manuel with a wink. “All the children are taught to say their name and age so that they can welcome the volunteers. Otherwise, they all speak Swahilli. However, we do need an English teacher at the school, so if you are interested in doing that you could talk to Pastor Luke Oliver. He’s Annie’s brother, and he lives here permanently now.”

  A handsome young looking blonde man approached them, with his hand outstretched to greet Jessica. “Welcome, welcome, Jessica Stone. Annie has told me so much about you and your wonderful donation to this orphanage. We are so blessed to have received that, and we are using the money to expand the orphanage and the school. I see that our young Joyce has taken a liking to you already, by the way she is clinging to your skirt. Here, let me take those bags for you, and I’ll show you your accommodation.”

  All the children except Joyce had run off to play. Joyce took Jessica’s hand as they walked towards Luke’s spacious old timber home where Jessica would be staying in the tiny back spare room.

  “I’m afraid it’s nothing fancy, but at least it’s clean and tidy and the rain doesn’t come in, unlike some of our accommodation,” Luke was saying as Jessica noticed the narrow single bed where she would be sleeping for the next month.

  “It’s fine, Luke,” she said thinking how different her life here would be compared to her luxurious home back in Manhattan with all the latest gadgets. “I’m sure I’ll be settled in pretty soon.”

  “Right, then, let’s go and see our Chief Cook. She is a Ugandan woman who cooks for the entire orphanage, and lunch should be ready in about five minutes.”

  Luke led Jessica to another building outside which looked like a long hall. Inside the children were patiently sitting at large wooden tables waiting for a cooked lunch of beans and posho which was made from maize, as well as a cabbage dish. As soon as it arrived they all said grace thanking God for this wonderful food before they hungrily tucked into it.

  Jessica sat with Luke enjoying the simple cuisine which was tastier than it looked.

  “Well,” said Luke. “We need help with our school. In fact we really need another English teacher now as we have one hundred and twenty orphans of various ages and different grades. We also need help with looking after the babies. But it’s up to you how you want to volunteer your time. We have five teachers who can help you learn the local language and then you can teach the children the English equivalent.”

  “Well, I really love a challenge,” said Jessica, tucking into the posho. “And I’ve always wanted to learn another language, so I really think that teaching English at your school is what I would love to do.”

  “Oh, Annie will be thrilled to hear that. She is arriving over here in a few weeks’ time to help with the babies.”

  “I can hardly wait to see her, again. Luke. Meeting your sister has really changed my life. And getting to grow in relationship with God has been an amazing journey for me. You know, I didn’t even know anything about the Bible or Jesus until Annie came into my life.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear, Jessica. All our children here are also taught about Jesus and the Bible. So we read them biblical stories every day at school. And we teach them to pray every night.”

  “I just know I’m going to
be happy, here, Luke. I don’t think I’ll want to go home when the month is up.”

  “A lot of our volunteers feel like that, Jessica. And some have made Uganda their second home. It’s hard not to fall in love with this country or these children. Now, when you’ve finished your lunch, I’ll take you over and show you the school.”

  *****

  “Can I call you Mommy?” Joyce asked Jessica one day during her third week of teaching the eight year olds some basic English words. Jessica’s eyes looked into the pleading little face in front of her and tried to blink back her tears. Joyce had followed Jessica around everywhere since she had arrived in Uganda. Her own mother had died when she was one and now she had begun to cling to Jessica as if she was her own mommy.

  Kneeling down to her level, Jessica embraced her and said, “Of course you can Joyce. But you know I will be going back to America next week, but I promise you I will come back again soon.”

  “Take me with you,” Joyce said. “Please.”

  “If I could I would, Joyce, but this country is your home. I will come back in a few weeks after I leave. Luke needs me to help here with school.”

  Joyce laid her head against Jessica’s shoulder. “Okay, I love you, Miss Jess Mommy…and so does Mister Luke.”

  Jessica had noticed the way that Luke’s eyes lit up when she entered the room. They had worked hard together running the school together for the past three weeks, and somehow she instinctively knew that Luke was falling for her. But all I can think of is Ryan, she thought. If only you looked at me the way that Luke does, Ryan. If only you could get over Adele and leave the past behind.

  Jessica’s heart ached as she realized that Ryan might never get over the past demons that haunted him. Maybe God had other plans for her life which included being with Luke. But she just didn’t feel for Luke the way she felt about Ryan. And thinking about him made her heart ache with longing to get back home and see him again.

  “So you’ll be leaving us soon,” Luke commented two days before she was due to fly home.