Sunlight and Shadows

by Christine Cross

  “Even so…” Beth said warily. Feeling a tension rising between them again, she decided it might be best to make her exit. She turned to give Brent a small half-smile and began to make her way out of the enclave. Before she could get too far, she felt a gentle but firm hand touch her arm lightly.

  An unexpected shiver filled her at the warmth of the sudden touch. She turned around and was met with Brent’s bright green eyes looking straight down into hers. Another unexpected shiver passed through her and she had to swallow to force it back.

  “Look, Beth,” he said quickly removing his hand from her arm. “I...I feel like we might have gotten off on the wrong foot.”

  “Did we?” Beth asked, taking a step back and trying as hard as she could to keep a sarcastic edge out of her voice. She had to remember that she was going to have to spend an entire weekend with this man. She couldn’t get on his bad side right from the start.

  “Yeah,” he said. “And...I think it might have been sort of my fault.”

  She wanted to pose another sarcastic question. Something along the lines of, “Really? I don’t know where you might have got that idea!” But, she reminded herself to bite her tongue. Civil. She had to be civil.

  “Anyway, I wanted to say...look, I’m sorry about what I said when you first got here,” he said. “I mean, implying that you were just here to make yourself look good or feel righteous. I’ve seen you with the kids. I know you really care about them.”

  “Well, that’s good to know,” Beth said. “I mean, it’s not exactly a compliment, but, I suppose I’ll take what I can get.”

  And, with a cool smile and flip of her long blonde hair, she made her way out of the enclave. As she did, she congratulated herself on finally seeming to gain the upper hand in the little jostle between her and Brent.

  She moved downstairs towards her classroom trying her best not to remember the way his eyes had stared into hers, or the way the skin on her arm was still warm from his touch.

  *****

  That Saturday afternoon, Beth helped wrangle the children onto one of the minibuses. She felt as excited as the children were to have some time to explore the city in the valley. Ever since she’d heard the phrase, “The City of Eternal Spring”, with reference to Cuernavaca, she’d been eager to see it for herself.

  Of course, she’d driven through it on her way to the mountains, but, that was not quite the same thing. By that time, she had been so tired that the small city passed in a blurry haze before her eyes. Her eyes, had, in fact, been closed for over half the trip.

  Now, however, she felt wide awake and the children were not likely to allow her to sleep. Two of the older children, who were in her regular classroom, seated themselves on either side of her and proceeded to tell her everything they knew about Cuernavaca.

  One girl, Analise, said, “There’s a restaurant called Las Mananitas that has peacocks on the front lawn!”

  “How did they get peacocks?” Beth couldn’t help but ask.

  “I don’t know,” Annalise said. “But they’re there. I’ve seen them.”

  The minibuses wound down the narrow, bumpy mountain roads. It was slow going, and wearying. The kids were noisy, too, because they were so excited.

  When they finally arrived at the church where they would be staying in Cuernavaca, Beth was worn out. Her stomach was grumbling, and her enthusiasm for the excursion had waned. That, apparently, wasn’t true for the children.

  As soon as the minibuses stopped, and Beth’s students looked out the windows towards the large church to see a crowd coming out to greet them, the children gave yells of delight, some even made to move to the front of the bus.

  “Everyone stay in your seats,” Beth reminded them. But, her words were drowned out by the cacophony of high-pitched screeches and exclamations that were issuing from each of the children in turn. She was more than glad when the minibus’s passenger side door opened.

  “Sientense!” A voice much louder and stronger than one she could muster issued from the front of the van. Almost immediately the noise from the children died down.

  Beth looked gratefully towards her savior. She felt her stomach erupt when she met Brent’s gaze and even more when he gave her a friendly little smile.

  Between Brent, Paul and Beth, the children were all ushered into the church’s main room with few problems. The church’s pastor met them inside.

  “Paul!” he said as they entered, “Good to see you again.”

  Beth was surprised to see that this man was every bit as white as Paul and Brent were. But, the woman beside him looked much more like the children in their group.

  “Beth, Brent,” Paul said pulling out of a hug with the pastor. “This is my friend, Pastor Brian, and his wife Elisa.”

  Elisa and Brian greeted each other in a friendly way.

  “Elisa and some of the volunteers from the church have agreed to look after the kids tonight,” Brian said, nodding vaguely to the horde that accompanied us, now muttering excitedly among themselves again.

  “Are you sure it’s no trouble?” Paul asked.

  “Of course not,” Elissa replied with a good-natured laugh. “The kids from our church are very excited to see their friends. Besides, after being with them all day, Brian thought you might need a break.”

  “Well, I won’t argue with that,” Paul said. “I’m sure Beth and Brent won’t either.”

  As it happened, neither of them did. Beth’s stomach still growled from hunger and, as much as she loved her students, she was glad when Elissa and a mix of kids and adults from the Cuernavaca church led the children away from Brent and Beth, apparently with plans of watching a movie with dinner.

  “Well, who’s hungry?” Brian asked as soon as the kids were out of sight. “I’ve made special reservations for us.”

  “You didn’t have to do that, Brian,” Paul said.

  “Of course, I did!” Brian said. “We work so close to each other but I hardly ever get to see you. When I do it’s a special occasion.”

  “If you say so,” Paul said.

  Beth was glad when he made no more objections and the four of them made their way out of the church and down a winding, busy street.

  Fruit stand vendors were packing up their wares for the night while street side jewelers were still hawking theirs. They passed several small taquerias and internet cafés along their route. Beth found herself hoping that each one would be their destination.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” she asked Brent, who was walking beside her finally.

  “Probably to Las Mananitas,” Brent said. “Brian likes to take us there when we come into the city.”

  Beth recognized the name immediately.

  “That’s the one with the peacocks, right?” she asked.

  “That’s right,” Brent said turning to look at her as though slightly impressed.

  “Analise mentioned it on the bus ride down,” Beth admitted. Though, she felt strangely ashamed telling Brent that she had not come by this information on her own.

  “That’s understandable,” Brent said. She was glad he didn’t see fit to rub her ignorance in her face. “It’s probably the city’s most famous attraction. It’s been around forever. I even remember my dad taking me there when I was a kid.”

  “So...you came here when you were little?” Beth asked. She tried not to sound either too surprised or too eager. Ever since she’d heard Brent speak in Spanish (at which he was not only fluent but clearly native) she’d wondered about his past. But, after their disastrous first meeting, she’d never dared to ask him about it.

  “Yeah,” Brent answered. “I grew up in Mexico City. Not too far from here. We used to take family trips to Cuernavaca.”

  “So, I guess, that’s why you ended up serving in Mexico?” she asked. “Because you grew up here?”

  “It made sense,” he said. “I already knew the land, the language. My dad moved us here when I was four.”

  “Was he a missionary too?” Be
th asked, pressing her luck. She knew missionaries often ran in families. So, it was a fairly safe guess. All the same, Brent, chuckled and shook his head.

  “No,” he said. “About the furthest thing from it. He was an ad man. He worked for a big American ad agency. He was...well...let’s just say he wasn’t exactly keen on organized religion.”

  “So, how…”

  “How did I end up working for the church?” Brent asked, anticipating her question. He turned to her and Beth steeled herself to put in some kind of defense if it turned out she had offended him in some way again.

  She let out a small sigh of relief when he simply looked thoughtful before answering.

  “My parents sent me off to High School in California,” he said. “It was a boarding school. That’s where I met Paul.”

  He nodded to Paul and Brian walking a little ways ahead of them and talking animatedly among themselves.

  “He used to hold a Bible study once a week,” Brent said. “One of my friends invited me. Then I started going to church. Not long after that, I was baptized.”

  “What did your dad think of that?” she couldn’t help but ask. After all, she knew what it was to have a father who did not worship God.

  “Dad was okay with it, at first,” he said. “Then, when I went to college when I told him I wanted to study theology instead of marketing...that’s when he took an issue with it.”

  “What did he say?” she asked.

  “He said I was throwing my life away,” Brent told her. “Said religion never put food on anyone’s table.”

  That also sounded all too familiar. Beth’s own father had mocked her for going to Bible studies during the summer when she came home from college. ‘If you put half as much energy into your school work as you do into religion,’ he’d say, ‘maybe you could graduate early and save me some money.’

  She resented her father for constantly mocked her and her mother’s faith. She resented his drunkenness, and how it had contributed to the death of her mother. It made her angry to think about him. It was all she could do not to place her own anger on Brent’s dad.

  “Would it be wrong of me to say that I’m glad you didn’t listen to him?” she asked.

  “No,” Brent said with a smile. “I’m glad too. If I had listened to him, I would be in an office somewhere, miserable. Instead, I’m here...with you.”

  Beth looked up at him, more than a little surprised and felt another strange stirring in her stomach as Brent’s bright, green eyes looked down into hers.

  “You’re sure being with me is a good thing?” she asked, tearing her gaze away from him.

  “Look,” Brent said. “I said I was sorry about how I acted when you first got here. The truth is...I’m glad you're here.”

  Beth allowed herself a small smile at this, though she didn’t dare look up at him again.

  “Well,” she said. “That’s good to know.”

  Not long after that, they reached a large building with a glass façade, which looked more like a fancy hotel than a restaurant.

  Beth was slightly surprised when they stopped there and walked up the front steps. On either side of her, she could see people dressed in much nicer clothes than the jeans and t-shirt she had put on for her day of traveling.

  “Don’t worry,” Brent said to her. “There’s no dress code.”

  “That’s good to know,” she muttered.

  As they walked inside, Beth’s eyes widened and her state of dress was pushed to the very back of her mind.

  The lobby of the restaurant had all the makings of an outdoor garden. When she looked up at the ceiling, she could see stars shining and twinkling at her.

  And, as Analise promised, a peacock strutted into her line of sight. As she watched him walk from one end of the room to the other, the bird shook out his tail feathers revealing a beautiful array of green, gold and blue plumes.

  Their small party was seated towards the back of the restaurant. Beth was glad to see young families, dressed in jeans as well, enjoying the restaurant alongside men in suits and women in cocktail dresses.

  The food was plentiful and delicious. Pastor Brian ordered something called Queso Fundido for the table. This turned out to be a delicious melted cheese dish served with fresh corn tortillas.

  Beth found that she ate so much of this that, when her meal came, she was very close to full. All the same, she managed several bites of her enchiladas suizas.

  It was only mid-way through dinner, and she was feeling quite full when she felt her phone vibrate inside her purse.

  “Sorry,” she said to the table. Brian was in the middle of a story about a run-in with the Mexican authorities which Beth did not feel great about interrupting. But, her brother, Jack had been calling her every now while she was in Mexico, and he got particularly anxious when Beth did not answer right away.

  Sure enough, when Beth pulled out her phone, Jack’s name popped up on the screen.

  “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’ve got to take this. It’s my brother.”

  “Don’t worry,” Paul said. “We’ll try not to eat the rest of your food.”

  Brian laughed as Beth thanked them and stood up to take the call.

  “Hi, what’s up?” she asked moving away from the table and towards the outside play area.

  “Something’s happened,” Jack said immediately. He sounded much more urgent than Beth had expected. She felt her heart begin to pound anxiously in her chest.

  “What is it?” she asked. “Is it Dad? Has he been in another accident? If it’s another DUI, I swear…”

  “It’s not,” Jack assured. “He’s okay. He’s not in prison or anything. It’s just...he’s getting married again.”

  Beth’s heart continued to beat quickly, though, it now sank in her chest. Her mother hadn’t been dead more than six months. He couldn’t…

  “To whom?” Beth asked. Her voice sounded very small and hollow even to her own ears.

  “Robin,” he said. “His receptionist.”

  Beth remembered Robin. The pretty little blonde girl Dad had been working with for the past two years. She couldn’t have been more than a year older than Beth.

  “Tell me this is some kind of bad joke,” Beth said to her brother.

  “Wish it was,” Jack responded. “Look, Beth, you’ve got to get back here.”

  “Jack, is it...is it really that serious?” she asked. She was shocked at the news of her father’s upcoming nuptials, and the idea of leaving Mexico, of leaving her work, her students, Paul and even Brent (maybe especially Brent) behind did not make her happy.

  “Of course, it’s serious!” Jack insisted. “Beth, you’re the only one who can talk to him! You’re the only one who can fix this. You’ve got to come back!”

  Her little brother was starting to sound hysterical now. She knew there would be no reasoning with him when he got like this. The most she could do was capitulate, at least for now, until she could figure out what to do.

  “Okay,” she said calmingly. “Okay, Jack. I’ll see if I can get home, for a few days at least. I’ll call you when I know for sure.”

  “Call me tomorrow either way,” Jack insisted. “Promise.”

  “I promise, Jack,” she said. “I’ll call tomorrow.”

  She said goodbye to her brother and ended the call. Quickly, before she had time to think, she marched back over to the table.

  “I’ve got to get back to the church,” she said quickly.

  “What’s wrong?” Brent asked standing from his seat. “What happened?”

  “Nothing for any of you to be worried about,” she said addressing all three men at the table, though she kept her eyes on Brent’s concerned face.

  “It’s a family thing. I need to get back to the church so I can make a few more calls,” she said. This was only half a fib. The truth was, she did think about calling her father. She thought about screaming at him over the phone, telling him everything she’d been holding back for the past six mon
ths. But, she also knew that wouldn’t do anyone any good. Not her father and certainly not her. The truth was, she wanted to get back to the church, so she could lie on the cot pastor Brian had laid out for her and think about what to do.

  “You should wait—”

  “It can’t wait,” Beth told Brent quickly. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

  She heard Brent start to protest again, and she even saw Pastor Brian stand from the table, an offer to walk with her beginning on his lips. But, she did not give them a chance to protest. Instead, she grabbed her coin purse from her seat at the table and walked out of the beautiful garden lobby as quickly as she could.

  *****

  Beth barely heard the wolf whistles that followed her down the street as she walked back to the hotel. They came from a group of men exiting a bar.

  She’d become used to this in the past few weeks living in Mexico. Even in the little mountain village where the school was, some of the young men would whistle at her from across the street or try to call out to her as she walked.

  It wasn’t just her, either. Several of the blonde, female volunteers in their group were treated to the same. Apparently, blondes did very well in Mexico.

  Beth had learned to glare at these men as she walked away. This told them that she had heard their cat calls, but was not responsive to them. This time, she didn’t have the energy even to look at the young men calling to her from across the street.

  Her head was filled with the conversation she had just had with Jack. “Dad’s getting married again.”

  After her mother died. After her mother had died while driving to pick her father up from a bar where he’d passed out. After one of his drunk buddies had smashed into her on his way out of said bar. After all that happened only six months ago, he was already moving on.

  Moving on with some ditzy young receptionist who was, no doubt, marrying him for his money and nothing more.

  Beth felt her hands curl into fists at the thought of it. Her fingernails scraped against her palms and she felt her heart accelerate. This time, not with shock, but with anger.

  If her father were here now, she was half ashamed to admit that she might do more than scream at him. She just might punch him until he lay on the ground, nearly as bloody as her mother had been when they pulled her out of the wreck.