by Nana Malone
I frowned. “But Dad, there’s no reason to anymore. You have a whole team of people. And I’m pretty sure, considering I was lying to him the whole time, that His Royal Majesty is not so keen on having me around.”
My father’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly for just a moment. “Yes, well while his personal guard might be attending to him, you can still watch out for him surreptitiously. In fact, I need you to check something out for me. We require discretion, and we require you to be fast. So I want you to take Ariel and another Royal Guard with you.”
I sat up straighter. “Discretion? What do you need me to do?”
“Go to the blood lab at Midland Hospital. I need you to have a sample tested for every known poison in the world.”
I stared at him, blinked, and then attempted to speak. The speaking didn’t work out so well, but I finally stuttered, “You want me to have blood tested?”
“Yes, I do. And I want you to also steal blood that was kept on hand there. Once you have it, you will hand it off to Blake Security for safekeeping.”
Just what the hell was going on? “Whose blood and why?”
He leveled a gaze on me. “The king’s, or rather, the former king’s. I don’t think he had heart attack at all. I’m pretty sure he was poisoned. And if I’m right, someone is going to make a play to remove his real blood from the facility.”
“I—Who is the other Guard I’m taking?”
He smiled then. “Your mother.”
2
Sebastian
“Hey, Lucas.”
On the other end of the line, I could feel all the weight in the beat of silence. “Hey, Sebastian. You okay?”
I considered lying, but fuck that. Lucas was my brother. He got to ride for free on the crazy train. “Not really.”
“How’s your mom dealing?”
“She’s okay, I guess. As well as can be expected. It’s just all fucked up.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say.”
As my brother spoke, I looked at the map of the palace grounds, searching for the one person who didn’t exist. “You don’t need to say anything. I was honestly just calling to check on you. See how you’re holding up.”
There was another beat of silence. I used the moment to locate Len’s house off in the distance.
Penny. Her name is Penny.
Whatever. Despite knowing better, despite the gnawing anger in my gut, despite the ache of betrayal, I found her house easily enough and stared at it like the creepy stalker I was.
“I don’t know. I feel weird, I guess.” Lucas’s voice dragged me back from my reverie. “How can I miss a man I never even met? That I didn’t even know about until a few months ago? But still it feels like an empty hole in my chest.”
“You feel how you feel. Listen, the funeral is in a couple of days. I can send you a ticket.”
“Actually, I was thinking maybe I won’t come.”
I frowned, not sure I heard correctly. “What?”
“It’s just … He was my father, but he wasn’t. And I don’t want you having to deal with questions you’re not ready for.”
“Lucas, he’d want you here.” I didn’t care if I sounded like I was pleading.
“I just don't think I can. And I figure with you becoming the new king, before your coronation and shit, it’s better not to.”
“I would rather not do this alone.”
“You won’t be alone. You will have your family. You need to be king now. What is that they call the second son? The spare? I want to be there for you, but I think it would cause more problems than anything. Besides, won’t it wreck everything if I turn up before the vote? You said yourself I sort of look like him.”
I hated that he had a point. “You should be here.”
“I know. But I think it should be a quiet moment. Not a circus.”
I sighed. “Lucas—”
“It’s the best thing to do. Besides, I want to say a few things to him, and I won’t be able to do that with the whole country watching.”
“I get it.” I did, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. I didn't want to leave him on the outside like he had been his whole life.
“So, how are you? Did you talk to Len yet?”
Way to pierce the soul, brother. “No. And her name is Penny. Turns out we used to play together as kids.”
“Damn, that’s harsh.”
I glanced toward her house. “Yeah, it is.”
“You plan on dealing with that scenario or just letting it go?”
“I’m about to be king now, so there’s nothing to be done.”
He was silent for a moment. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, absolutely.” The lie slid off my tongue with ease because I’d been saying it so often. “I’m fine with it. Besides, it’s not like I ever need to see her again.”
* * *
Penny
“So is it weird?”
I glanced up from the official reports my father wanted me to sign off on since my return. Since I’d been on an official mission for the king, there was a sort of hazard pay and mounds of paperwork. I had no idea how Ariel had completed hers so quickly.
All of it was ‘sign here, initial there,’ and royal seals up the yin-yang.
“Is what weird?”
“The way everyone is looking at you. It was weird for me, but then I realized it probably feels even stranger for you given that you did the saving. And that also … Well, you know.”
I rubbed the nape of my neck. “Yeah. It’s like all of a sudden my friends are looking at me differently, but for a good reason. But it’s also making them act strange with me, like they can’t really be themselves.”
“You’ve been close to royalty. You father made it clear it was an undercover mission. So now they think we’re badass. I mean, I’ve always been badass, but now they think you’re badass too.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes at that. “I’m sure some of them are speculating.”
“Let them speculate all they like. Any of them so much as says anything out of line, and they’ll have to deal with me.”
“Thanks, babe. I don’t know. I just want to get back to normal as soon as possible.”
Ariel was silent for too long, so I looked up. “I mean, are you sure that’s what you want? To get back to normal? You’re the conquering hero now.”
“You know, I don’t care about any of that. Hell, I’m not even sure I want to be home.”
“You’re missing Artist Penny.”
I couldn’t deny that. “I am. She was free. She did what she loved.” I shook my head. “For so long, I think I wanted everyone’s approval. But now that I have it, I really don't want it.”
She nodded. “I get that. So you don’t think Robert said anything?”
“Given that everyone isn’t calling me a royal-fucker, then yeah, it seems he kept his mouth shut. But I’m not sure why.”
“Maybe he wants you back.”
The image of Robert and Michael kissing flared again, and my heart squeezed. “Not likely. He’s after something. There is a reason he hasn’t said anything yet.”
“Can we both just agree that he was the worst choice for a boyfriend ever? Even worse than Chad Bumble who had the snake.” Ariel laughed as she thought of her ex in secondary school.
It felt so good to laugh after all the tension. “No. I still vote Chad. You had the worst taste.”
“Whatever. Mine handled snakes. Yours actually was a snake.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah okay, fine. You have a point there. But with Robert, if feels like the other shoe is going to drop at any time.”
“And when it does, I’ll be there. We’ll deal with him together.”
3
Sebastian
I could feel her as soon as I walked into the church. Like despite the hard pelts of cold rain, someone had lit an instant fire under my skin. Lock it down. Do not respond.
I had to be strong today for my mother, fo
r my people. I couldn’t focus on the instant, clawing need to find her, to touch her, to breathe her in.
Get your shit together.
I took my position next to my mother in the front pew, and then I caught sight of her in my peripheral vision. She was standing against the wall along with the other Royal Guard. She was in uniform.
Her expression was hard and stoic, her mouth tight, her hazel eyes grave. As I settled in next to my mother, I resolutely kept my eyes directed forward. Not an easy feat. Every now and again, I could feel the heat of her gaze. I could feel the pull toward her, the need to look.
And just when I thought I’d break, I would remember that my father was gone. That the man I’d loved and who had shaped me had sought to control me with that woman. And it had worked.
I loved them both, but both of them had lied to me. One of them I couldn’t yell at, I couldn’t rail at, and I couldn’t forgive.
The other … Well, I didn’t even know if what I felt for her was real in any way. I didn’t know her at all.
Through the service, I was the dutiful son. But the moment the priest muttered the last words of his homily about God’s hand being in everything around us and the choir sang its last hymn, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I left my mother’s side, knowing she was surrounded by family and well- wishers, and I fucking ran … like a bitch.
I know, I know. But I needed a goddamn minute. I needed to breathe.
As I ran out the side door to the solarium that housed the botanical garden on site, our gazes met for the briefest moment. In that single breath, emotion threatened to overtake me. The anger, and grief, and desperation. My fucking eyes started to sting.
Fuck that noise. I was not going to cry about what was lost.
Outside it was better, but a new feeling broke through the surface of my stoic resolve. I wanted to turn right around and go back to her. I wanted to drag her into my arms and hold her. And there was a small part of me that tried to convince the rest of me that it didn’t matter if none of it was real. I fucking needed her. And someone to lean on was better than having to stand on my own.
But the farther away I got, the easier it was to breathe and control my feelings. I felt more like myself.
“Sebastian … ” Her voice was soft and pleading.
I told myself not to turn around, not to heed the twitching need to face her. It was a useless command. I was weak and we both knew it. “What?” I growled out the word like I’d been caged without food for a week and someone just opened the door to the best meal I’d ever have in my life. All I had to do was kill it and eat it raw.
“I—I’m so sorry about your father. I’m sorry about—” She sniffled. “—everything. I just wanted to check on you.”
I whipped around, despite my better judgement, and was instantly reminded why I couldn’t bear to look at her. As pissed as I was, I still wanted her.
No, fuck that noise. I craved her like a man with an addiction, and it was going to be the end of me.
Her eyes flared and she tried to take a step back, but I was on her before my brain could offer up the cease and desist to my extremities.
There was no running for her. I was too fast. In three easy steps, I stopped both our worlds.
The moment my fingertips made contact with her body, I felt the familiar hum and high, that thrumming purr of exhilaration and contentment all at the same time. Yep, just like a drug.
The bitch of it was she didn't push me away. Didn’t tell me to stop. Instead, even as my fingers dug into her flesh and I hauled her against me, she wrapped herself around me like a fucking baby sloth and held on for dear life.
She tasted like heaven and sin all wrapped together, and I fucking needed so much more of her. I needed everything she had to give, and I wanted to pour every ounce of emotion I couldn’t express into her.
I carried her blindly for several steps until I met glass wall or window, I couldn’t be sure which. All I knew was that my body pressed into hers like she was the cure for my terminal illness and the only way to administer the drug was to be inside her.
Her hands clutched at my suit, sliding in and raking her nails over my shoulders and pecs as she removed my jacket. I grabbed her ass and rocked my cock against her. I fucking needed the release. I needed to make her pay for what she’d done to me. I needed to make her want me for real. I needed her to make me whole again.
I dragged my lips to her jaw, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, and chin, and neck. She ran her hands into my hair and tugged hard until I dragged my lips back to hers.
She was punishing me too. As if I was the cause of the two of us not being together. Her tongue fought with mine. Her teeth nipped, just like mine did, the tiny injuries tasting like blood and desperation.
She fumbled with my tie and tried to get my buttons undone as I dragged up her skirt.
Yes… we were at my father’s funeral.
Yes… this wasn’t real.
Yes… I hated/loved her.
I shoved my tongue into her mouth as my fingers found the edge of her panties. I gave zero fucks about consequences and repercussions. My thumb dipped under the elastic of the satin and my mind and my dick both instantly reacted to how wet she was. And since I was giving zero fucks, I decided I was going to fuck her bare. She felt too good not to. So fucking hot. So—
A sharp ringing sound broke the thick, foggy spell of need and despair. I yanked my head back, and with a whimper, she lazily dragged open her eyes.
First came the confusion. Then came the surprise. Then came the unholy horror of it all.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I was in no fucking mood for anything she had to say. My phone rang again. Motherfucker. I removed my thumb from inside her panties, but not without one more deliberate drag of the pad over her clit.
That earned me a sharp, narrow gaze. Yeah well, she’d lied to me so she could see how little I cared that I was leaving her turned-on and unfulfilled.
I released her and took a very deliberate step away from her.
Look, I’d always been a prick. I knew it. That’s why I watched her with all the venom in my soul as I returned myself to the persona of king regent.
Deliberately, I unzipped my pants, tucked my hand inside, and winced a little as I readjusted myself. Then I righted my clothes and picked my suit jacket back up from the floor.
I didn't grace her with any words, just turned on my heel and ran as far away as I could. You know in a totally dignified, royal way.
Never. I was never going to touch her again.
Liar.
* * *
Penny
* * *
“What’s wrong? You look like sin and bad decisions.” Ariel leaned into me and studied me closely.
The rain had lifted, so I now wore my sunglasses. But as I rode with her in one of the procession cars, she could still tell that something was wrong with me. Yeah, like she could smell Sebastian on me. Smell his kisses, his tongue on my neck, the way he’d gripped my hips. Smell the way his thumb had caressed my clit.
I shivered with longing. “It’s fine. It has to be fine.”
She surreptitiously slid her gaze to Anderson, who was driving. He obviously couldn’t know what the hell was going on, so Ariel kept it vague. “Is this about, uh, the mission?”
Right. Good thinking. “Yes. The mission.” I nodded. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I’m a mess.”
She reached out and took my hand, squeezing it gently when the car came to a stop alongside King Jackson’s monument. We were all to get out of the cars and walk amongst the crowds.
The guard had managed to clear pathway with strong barricades for the protection of the queen and the future king. The police force was also out in droves, but we were all on red alert, some of us more than others. Those of us who knew about the potential threats to the royal family were especially on guard. I understood from my father that he didn’t think King Cassius’s death had bee
n any kind of accident. He’d told me to keep it close to the vest but that Ariel could know. While Sebastian still didn’t know, I needed to stay as close to him as possible, which was both difficult and all too easy. Also, he hated me, so there was that.
“I just—Seeing him like that at the funeral … ” I leaned in close so that I could whisper and only she could hear me.
“Is that why you vanished?”
I cleared my throat. “I knew he shouldn’t be alone. I didn’t even intend to talk to him. But when he ran out, he looked so ... broken. I couldn’t help it.” I shook my head. “I suck at this mission. I royally fucked that up.”
“You can’t expect to be perfect at everything. Personally, I’d prefer Calamity Penny back, if you don’t mind. This whole new version of you that’s excellent at being Royal Guard is kind of terrifying. Where’s my bestie?”
My lips twitched. “I’ll make sure to spill wine on the Duke of Wellington or something tonight.”
“That’s my girl.” She glanced back at Anderson. “So, uh, what happened on the, uh, mission?”
As we followed the rest of the Royal Guard into formation, I muttered, “It was tense.” That was one word for it. The way his lips slid over mine, it felt like a claiming, not like a goodbye. And we hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye. I knew that was part of the problem. It wasn’t like normal breakups where you told the person you didn’t want to be with them anymore, you walked away, and everyone understood what was happening. No, he’d just found out I was lying to him and that was the end of that.
“Did something happen?”
I nodded even as I muttered the words, “Yes. No.”
She smacked me on the arm. “Spill it. I’m living vicariously right now. And that’s a little confusing. Is it a yes, or is it no?”
