Every Breath You Take (Bayou Devils MC Book 3)

by A. M. Myers

  “With the guy that would shout movie lines all night long? I thought Mom was gonna tear him a new one.”

  “For the love of God, it’s three in the morning,” Theo says, imitating Mom’s voice and I start laughing but they quickly turn to tears as I realize I’ll never hear that voice again.

  “I miss her so much,” I whisper and he nods.

  “I wish I’d come home more these past few years.” His voice breaks and a tear falls down his cheek. “The last time I saw her was almost a year ago.”

  Reaching across the table, I grab his hand. “You’re all I have left now, Theo. We have to promise to not let so much time pass.”

  He nods. “I promise.”

  We finish our coffee as he tells me about what’s going on in Charleston and after we rinse our mugs out in the sink, we walk over to the closet and stop in front of the closed door.

  “If we don’t make it through this, just know that I love you,” I quip and glance over at Theo as he rolls his eyes.

  “You’re so goddamn dramatic.”

  I scoff, vividly remembering one time when we were younger when Theo was convinced a simple cold was going to kill him as I step forward and grip the door handle. “Whatever you say, kettle.”

  “Are you calling me dramatic?” he asks but I ignore him, opening the door and wincing. When nothing happens, I peek open my eyes and sigh. I half expected everything to just come pouring out of it like in cartoons. “Yes, clearly, I’m the dramatic one.”

  “Shut up,” I say with a laugh, shoving him backward and he grabs onto my arm, almost sending us both crashing to the floor.

  “Be serious. We have work to do,” he scolds, his face serious but playfulness still in his tone. Smiling, I turn back to the closet and the pain of the last few days crashes down on me again. It’s weird the way you can forget sometimes. Even though it just happened, there are still moments when I smile or something makes me laugh before I remember that my mother is gone and the guilt descends on me for daring to enjoy even a single moment of my life right now.

  Sighing, I nod. “All right, let’s do this.”

  We start gently pulling boxes out of the closet and setting them in various places around the room. When we run out of room to move around, we each go to a separate box and start digging through them.

  “Do you remember these?” I ask, holding up the child-sized boxing gloves from when Mom made us start training.

  “Shit, yeah. You hated it and Mom would drag us to class everyday.”

  I turn the gloves over in my hand, remembering the horrific fights Mom and I would have whenever it was time to go to class or practice.

  “Oh, God, and then she bought that bag, set it up in the garage, and made me practice for hours a day.”

  Theo laughs. “Yeah, but look how good of a boxer you are now.”

  “I still hate it,” I pout. Out of all the things our mother made us train in, boxing will always be my least favorite.

  “You’ll thank her when you get in a fight.”

  Arching a brow, I meet his gaze. “When am I ever going to get in a fight, Theo? When am I going to need to be able to reload a gun in two seconds or less? And yeah, sure, I can hit a target at fifteen hundred yards but who cares? I know all this useless stuff that I’m never going to need because I’m not a goddamn super spy or assassin.”

  “Come on, T. Some of that stuff she taught us is useful.”

  Sighing, I sink onto the ottoman and nod. “Yeah, it’s useful and I guess, if it ever comes down to it, I’ll be glad to have those skills but can you really say we had a childhood? As soon as we stopped bouncing from place to place every couple months, she started in with all this training. And for what? We may never know why she felt the need to teach us these things.”

  “I know,” he says with a nod. “I’m not defending her choices but they aren’t useless either. We both know how to defend ourselves better than most people should the need ever arise.”

  I press my fingers into my forehead. “I just want answers, Theo. I want to know what all of this was for and I want to know what happened to her. There’s this nagging feeling, deep down in my gut, that her death wasn’t just some random accident but as soon as I go down that rabbit hole, I start thinking that I’m losing my mind. Accidents happen all the time but she seemed invincible and it feels like I’m never going to get any peace.”

  “It hasn’t even been a week, sis. Just give it time.” He walks over and sits next to me on the ottoman, wrapping his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder.

  “I think I’m losing my mind.”

  He laughs, giving me a squeeze. “Naw, T. You’re just grieving.”

  “How are you holding it together so well?” I ask, lifting my head off his shoulder to study him.

  “Honestly, I have no idea. I’m probably just going to break one day out of the blue and shock the shit out of everyone, including myself.”

  I want to tell him that’s not healthy but who am I to talk? I’m over here dreaming up conspiracy theories.

  “We better get back to it,” I say, sighing. “I only have you for another day and a half.”

  The thought of Theo leaving so soon is upsetting and I suck in a breath as I stand up and walk over to another box.

  “I’m sorry that I have to leave so soon.”

  I shrug. “I get it. I’m just going to miss you.”

  “I know. I miss you, too, and I missed so much time with Mom by being away. When my contract is up in a couple years, I don’t think I’m going to reenlist.”

  “You know what you want to do once you’re a free man again?”

  He laughs, shaking his head as he stands up. “Nope. It’ll be a fun adventure.”

  I giggle as I pull a taped up shoebox out one of the bigger boxes. Frowning, I inspect it before glancing up at Theo.

  “Let me see your knife.”

  He flips the knife in his hand and holds the handle out to me. Taking it from him, I cut through the tape and sit down on the couch with the box in my lap.

  “What is it?” Theo asks and I shake my head.

  “I’m not sure yet.” Carefully, I open the lid and scowl at the photo of a little boy sitting on top. Underneath that is a stack of handwritten letters that almost completely fill up the box. Grabbing the one on top, I unfold it and start to read before turning to Theo.

  “I think these are love letters to Mom.”

  His eyes widen and he joins me on the couch. “What?”

  He grabs another letter and unfolds it as I read through the one in my hand.

  “Listen to this,” I say, reading from the paper. “I understand your reason for leaving, baby, but it doesn’t make this any easier. You leaving punched a hole right through the center of my heart and I know that I won’t feel whole again until you’re back in my arms.”

  “I have to believe that this is just part of our story, sweetheart,” Theo says, reading from his letter. “Because if I think about this being the end, if I consider that you were never meant to be mine, I don’t know how I’ll go on.”

  “It’s signed “Love, M”,” I point out and he glances at the bottom of his letter.

  “This one, too.”

  Reaching back into the box, I grab the photo of the boy and his bright blue eyes punch me in the gut. “Who do you think he is?”

  “I have no idea,” Theo replies, glancing down at the photo.

  Reaching into the box, I pull out the letter on the very bottom and gasp as I read the date at the top. “Theo, these letters go all the way back to right around the time we were born.”

  He grabs the first letter I was reading. “The top letter is dated July 1998. That’s right before we moved here.”

  Our eyes meet and I can hear all the questions running through his mind as they mix with mine. I can’t help but feel like this is just one more thing that our mother took to her grave.

  * * * *

  Right before Mom moved Theo and me to Bat
on Rouge, we were staying at this small motel right off the interstate in Omaha, Nebraska. As six year olds, Theo and I hated being cooped up in that room but Mom didn’t like for us to go outside, not with the kind of places we were staying in but a couple days before we left, she took us to the zoo. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. We spent the whole day there – from the time they opened until they ushered us out of the gates. Looking back, it was one of the few times I saw Mom looking carefree and I wish she were sitting across this dining room table from me so I could ask her all of the questions that have been swarming around in my head for the past week.

  A week.

  Seven days.

  It’s such a short amount of time and somehow, it still feels like forever when all I want to do is talk to my mom. I sat in this exact chair three days before the accident, telling her about how work was going at the diner and talking about my plans to go to school someday while she nagged me about moving back home so she wouldn’t have to worry about me so much. I wish I had taken her up on that offer. Maybe things would be different now if I had.

  Theo stomps down the stairs and I quickly wipe away my tears before grabbing my coffee mug and raising it to my lips.

  “Please tell me I’m not dreaming the smell of that coffee.”

  I laugh. “You’re not. Did you sleep okay last night?”

  He ambles over to the cupboard and grabs a mug. “Not really. I couldn’t stop thinking about that damn shoebox we found.”

  “I know,” I answer with a sigh. “I couldn’t either.”

  We spent the rest of the evening reading through some of the letters in the box and trying to figure out who this mystery person in our mother’s life was. Honestly, I think we’re both more confused now than we were before we found that box. Did we even know our mother at all?

  “Do you think this “M” guy is our dad?”

  Theo sighs as he leans back against the counter and raises his cup to his lips. After he takes a sip, he runs his hand over his short hair.

  “Anything is possible, T. But who says “M” is a man?”

  My mouth pops open and I stare at him. “You think Mom was gay?”

  He shrugs again. “Why not?”

  “But she had us,” I point out.

  “Like I said, anything is possible.”

  Before I can say anything else, the doorbell rings and I glance over my shoulder, seeing a figure through the small windows at the top of the door.

  “You expecting someone?” Theo asks and I shake my head.

  “No, are you?”

  My brother changes before my eyes, straightening his shoulders and setting his cup of coffee down on the counter. It’s a look I know all too well – the same one I get anytime someone shows up at my apartment unannounced. Theo reaches into the hidden compartment next to the sink and pulls out Mom’s 1911. He puts his finger to his lips, instructing me to be quiet before he starts creeping toward the door. Rolling my eyes, I circle around the other side of the kitchen and step into the living room as he opens the door.

  “Can I help you?” he asks, his voice gruff and to the point.

  “Yes, sir. I’m looking for Mr. Theodore Carter and Miss Tatum Carter.”

  Theo glances over at me with a raised brow before turning back to the man at the door. “And you are?”

  “I’m Aaron Wiley, your mother’s attorney.” Mr. Wiley holds his hand out but Theo ignores it as he turns to me with wide eyes and sets the pistol down on the table next to the door. When he doesn’t move or even look at Mr. Wiley again, I step forward, examining the tall, wiry man.

  “You’ll have to forgive us, Mr. Wiley. This week has been a bit of a whirlwind and we weren’t aware that our mother had a lawyer.”

  He holds up a finger, nodding his head. “Ah, yes. Your mother did say that would be the case. Mind if I come in so we can talk?”

  “Sure.”

  As Mr. Wiley steps inside, Theo regains some of his composure and grabs the gun off of the table, tucking it into his waist. He meets my gaze and I roll my eyes but his only response is a stern look meant to shut me up. Not that it’s ever worked.

  “Can I get you a cup of coffee, Mr. Wiley?” I ask as he sets his black leather briefcase on the dining room table. He nods.

  “That would be nice. Thank you.”

  As I retreat into the kitchen, I can feel Theo behind me and I glance over my shoulder, meeting his intense stare.

  “Before you ask, I don’t have a clue what he’s here about,” I whisper.

  He nods. “I know but why did Mom have a lawyer?”

  “Just add it to the list of questions that have been building since her death.”

  “This is fucking insanity,” he says under his breath as he grabs our coffee and heads back into the dining room. I pour coffee into a mug for Mr. Wiley and arrange sugar and cream on a tray before carrying both back into the dining room. After setting the tray down on the table, I sit next to Theo and sip my coffee as Mr. Wiley arranges papers in front of him.

  “First off, let me just say that I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you,” Theo and I murmur at the same time.

  “I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Wiley,” Theo says, a frown etched onto his face. “But why are you here?”

  “Your mother hired me to handle her estate.”

  “Estate?” My voice is filled with shock as I turn to look at Theo, who is as surprised as I am.

  “May I?” he asks, holding up a sheet of paper and I nod. He flips it around and lays it down in front of us. The first thing I notice are the words “Last Will and Testament” printed boldly at the top of the page and then I see my mother’s signature at the bottom.

  “As soon as I learned of your mother’s death, I started working on this because she stipulated that before either of you received any money, the house needed to be paid off.”

  “The house is paid off?” Theo asks, grabbing my hand under the table and I feel hope welling up in my chest.

  “As of yesterday afternoon, it is. As soon as you sign everything today, I’ll hand you the deed.”

  I clamp my free hand over my mouth, fighting back tears. Yesterday we were so sure that we’d lose the only home we’ve ever known and now, it’s ours for as long as we want it.

  “I’m sorry but did you say something about money?” Theo asks, glancing up from our mother’s will. Mr. Wiley nods.

  “Yes. As per her will, the two of you will equally split the rest of her estate which amounts to just shy of one million dollars.”

  A gasp fills the room and it takes me a moment to realize it slipped out of my own mouth. Theo stares at the dining room table, eyes wide and blank as I turn to Mr. Wiley, uncertain that I heard him correctly.

  “I’m going to need you to say that again.”

  Mr. Wiley smiles. “In my briefcase, I have a check for each of you in the amount of four hundred ninety nine thousand, two hundred sixty two dollars and fifty cents.”

  “Oh my god,” I breathe out as Theo squeezes my hand again and I glance over at him. His gaze is filled with questions.

  Where did she get all that money?

  Why didn’t she ever tell us?

  Who was this woman?

  I shake my head, my answer the same for each one and he blows out a breath, dropping his head into his free hand.

  “I apologize, Mr. Wiley. We’re just…”

  “…fucking shocked,” Theo finishes for me and I can’t stop the giggle that bubbles out of me. Mr. Wiley chuckles, nodding his head.

  “I understand. If you’ll point me in the direction of the restroom, I’ll give you two a minute to talk.”

  “Through there, first door on your right,” I answer, pointing to the hallway and he nods, pushing out of his chair. When he disappears around the corner, Theo turns to me.

  “Where the fuck did she get that kind of money?” he hisses and I shake my head before shrugging. Truth is, I’ve got no idea where our mother,
who worked as a receptionist for the last twenty years, made that kind of money.

  “Maybe she robbed a bank.”

  Theo grins. “Maybe she was an assassin for hire.”

  “Hey, that’s a good one and I could totally see that.”

  He turns to look at the will in front of us. “Are we accepting blood money?”

  “It’s like fifty-fifty.”

  “I know I shouldn’t be happy about this but the house is yours now and I don’t have to worry about something happening to you. It was killing me to think about leaving tomorrow and you going back to your apartment.”

  “The house is ours.”

  He shakes his head. “No. You should have the house, T. And you can finally go to school like you’ve always wanted.”

  “Yeah,” I whisper, a smile teasing my lips. My life has been flipped completely on its head in the last week and as much as I would do anything to have my mom back here with me, I’m also so incredibly grateful for everything she’s just done for us.

  Chapter Four

  Tatum

  “I wish you weren’t leaving,” I admit as Theo drives me to work on his way out of town. He was originally supposed to leave this morning but after the shock we got yesterday, neither one of us were quite ready to say good-bye yet. Plus, we had a few new errands to run with those huge checks Mr. Wiley dropped off. Glancing over at me with a frown that matches my own, he nods.

  “Believe me, I’m not looking forward to it either.”

  Since the moment Theo and I were born, we’ve truly never been alone but it sure feels like as soon as he rolls out of town, I have no one left to turn to. I lived across town from Mom but she was always here if I needed her. She was a constant in my life and never once had I imagined having to live without her. Her death and her absence in my life is a gaping hole. I can feel it with each breath I take in and push out, and I don’t think it will ever be filled. It’s just part of who I am now and I have to learn to live around it.

  “Do you have leave saved up?” I ask, hoping he’ll be able to get back home soon. He’s at a shore command right now, which means no deployments so in theory, he should be able to get time off to visit.