I chuckled. “Not a bad idea, if I didn’t have to drive after this.”
“So, this Ryan, who is he?” Daniel just jumped right in, which was nothing less than I would have expected. Since driving off with Abby the day before, I was sure a thousand images had crossed his mind.
I shrugged, hoping to express indifference. “He’s a student who has been going through a rough time lately.”
“Yeah, Abby told me about his mom.” He took a sip of his drink, then looked at me, shoulders tense. “Are you two...?”
“Seeing each other? No.” I scrubbed a hand over my unshaven jaw.
“But, you want to.” His whole body deflated.
Picking up my own glass of wine, I nearly drank half of it down before continuing. “It’s completely wrong, Daniel. I feel inexplicably drawn to him. I can’t help myself.” I nearly slammed the glass down on the table.
“Easy there, I know what you mean, and I also know that you typically go for younger guys.” He wasn’t wrong. My typical guy was young and submissive. Ryan fit one of those qualifications, but the other remained to be seen. I had no doubts of my domineering tendencies, but these out of control feelings had me curious… and questioning myself. “Philip, you’re gonna have to figure this out, because you could cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife.” He raised a brow. “If you don’t figure out what you want it’ll explode, which for both of you could be extremely dangerous.”
“I know. I mean I could lose everything, but knowing that isn’t stopping my need to be near him. He’s both incredibly strong and broken at the same time. Is it the therapist in me that just wants to fix him? To take the haunted look out of his eyes? Or is it something more?”
Daniel sat for a moment, taking in my questions, when the waiter delivered our sandwiches along with a basket of homemade truffle French fries. “My suggestion?” he began after the waiter left. Unable to stop myself, because their fries were the best on this side of the Mississippi, I grabbed a few and nodded for him to continue. “Take a step back. Figure out what it is and then decide whether it’s worth completely turning your life upside down. But don’t forget, while he is young, he is of legal age. Ryan’s an adult—a young adult—but I have a strong feeling, he’s lived more adult years than half of the student population put together. Besides, in the history of higher education, the number of relationships between educators and students would be impossible to count. You’re really not all that unique, Philip.” Sometimes I forgot how insightful he could be, and annoying.
Rolling my eyes dramatically, I shoved a few fries in my face before asking, “So, were you able to find a good home for Abby and the other kids?” The subject needed to change; talking anymore about Ryan would have me heading straight over to his place the moment we paid the check.
“Yes, thank God. There was an opening with Mrs. Robinson, such a sweet little old lady. Her last kid aged out a few months ago, so I lucked out. There is no Mr. Robinson any longer, and after what happened, for now, that’s the best course of action.” He pushed a hand through his blond hair, sitting back in his seat, having finished off his sandwich, thankfully leaving the rest of my truffle addiction to me, since the sandwich would be perfect for dinner. “It’s so frustrating trying to decipher which parents are a good fit. The worst is when the ones who appear perfect on paper end up being scum. I didn’t get in this job to allow shit like that to happen. I specifically do this to help kids not be subjected to that. Fuck.” He ran his hands down his face, and I could tell he was probably near tears as he dug his fingers into his eyes. “Fucking sick bastard. Would have been better if he’d gone back to drinking himself to death.”
“When are you scheduling the psych exam?” Having done some myself, I knew the state needed to provide not only physical care, but emotional care, especially since harm had come to a child under their supervision.
“Yeah, next week. I took her, along with the female cop on scene to the pediatrician at County hospital. They confirmed abuse.”
We both sat in silence for a few minutes absorbing the horror. I didn’t need or want to know at that moment the extent of the abuse, or what the sick fuck had actually done. Any amount of touching was wrong. Period. “How could someone do that to that sweet little girl?”
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I gave it a squeeze. He grabbed it like a lifeline.
Walking out to our cars, he handed me a piece of paper with Abby’s schedule on it as well as her new address. “Thanks, I’ll make sure Ryan gets this.”
“That’s for you. Abby asked me to give you her information as well. She’d like you to visit.”
I smiled at the thought of the little girl with pigtails. “Maybe I’ll go by today and see how she’s holding up.”
RYAN
As soon as I got the call from Daniel with the information on Abby, I decided to see how she was doing. He assured me that he put her in a safe home, one that he particularly loved, with an elderly lady. I was so relieved. I walked up to the house and smiled. From the looks of the place, it was easy to see why this was one of Daniel’s favorite placements. The path leading up to the front door was lined with pink and red azaleas without a weed in sight. Climbing the three wooden steps to the front door, the first thing I noticed were the old-fashioned door knockers. I decided to use the doorbell instead.
“Can I help you?” A little gray-haired lady asked when she opened the door.
“Yes, ma’am, my name is Ryan. I came to see Abby.”
“Ah, Daniel mentioned you were stopping by. You’re the young man that got her away from those wretched people.” She smiled and ushered me inside. “Abby is a lovely little girl. I’m sure she will be happy to see you.”
“Thank you, ma’am. How is she adjusting? I know she’s only been here one night, but I’m worried about her.”
“She’s been quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. She’s probably just scared to be in a new place. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“Ryan,” a little voice yelled from the stairs. I turned just in time for Abby to barrel right into me.
“Hey, princess, how are you?” I kneeled down in front of her, and she threw her arms around my neck, burying her face there.
“I’m okay, I guess,” she whispered close to my ear.
“How about we go to the park down the street?” Looking up at her foster parent, I asked, “As long as it’s okay with you, ma’am.”
“Please can I go?” Abby lifted her head off my shoulder to turn big doe eyes on the old woman. Her eyes softened as she nodded her head in agreement. Abby squealed and ran off to grab her shoes.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Young man, call me Martha. All this ma’am business is getting old.”
“Yes ma... er... Martha.”
“I’m ready to go. C’mon Ryan,” Abby said pulling on my hand.
“Thank you, Martha. I’ll have her back in a couple hours.”
“Take your time.”
“Are you sure you’re supposed to be sitting in the front seat?” I asked Abby whose only response was to giggle. “You’re not are you?”
Abby shook her head. I couldn’t believe the little sneak duped me. “You’re in the back seat from now on.”
“Aww, but Ryan,” she whined. “I like the front seat.”
“It’s not safe, Abby.” I ruffled her hair and jumped out of the car once we reached the park. “How do you like Martha so far?” We walked over to the park, her little hand in mine.
She was looking longingly at the swing set. “She’s okay I guess, but those other people were okay at first too.”
I was sad that her trust in other people was non-existent, but it made me feel special that she put her trust in me. “You know? I used to think the same way. Trusting people is hard and it totally sucks when you give it to someone and they hurt you.” I helped her into the swing and started to push her. “But, you have to trust people even
tually.”
“I trust people. I trust you and Mr. Philip.” Her innocence was adorable
“I think you should give Martha a chance, she seems like a nice lady and wants to help you the same way Philip and I will.” I pushed her a little higher. “I’m gonna come hang out with you as often as I can. You know if anything happens, you can tell me and I’ll listen. But, I think this is a good place for you.”
“Okay.” Her little sigh was adorable. “I’ll try.”
“Okay.” I laughed. Like me, her past had defined how much more mature she was than other kids her age. I definitely felt a connection to this little girl. She was perfect.
We played on the swings for a while longer, until she wanted to play on the slide. Sitting on the bench, I watched her play and saw a little boy playing on the jungle gym not far away. Abby looked wary of him.
“Is that your daughter?” The guy who sat down on the opposite side of the bench asked me.
“No, she’s just a friend.” I shrugged. Obviously I wasn’t old enough to be the father of a nine-year-old but I kept my snarky comments to myself. “He yours?”
He hesitated before answering which was odd. “Uh, yeah, he’s mine.”
“Name’s Ryan.” I held out my hand to shake.
“J, it’s nice to meet you, Ryan.” He shook my hand firmly. “So, you’re friends with an eight-year-old?”
“Nine. I helped her get out of a fucked-up situation. I’m kind of making sure that the new home she’s in doesn’t turn out like the last one.” The guy was probably just making small talk, but I wasn’t giving up any of Abby’s or my secrets to a total stranger.
“Fair enough. Just don’t promise more than you can give. Kids are fickle and though their innocence makes forgiveness a lot easier than adults, I have a feeling that a little girl’s trust isn’t easily earned.”
This entire conversation was strange, but the guy seemed sincere. “No, I don’t think it is. She has her reasons.” She looked over at me with a big beaming smile and waved as she went down the slide. I waved back and clapped for her. Her giggle soared over the noises of the park.
“Shit, I have to get him back to his grandma. It was nice to meet you, Ryan. Maybe I’ll see you guys around again sometime.”
“Yeah sure, see ya around J,” I said, distracted.
“Kaden, come on, it’s time to go, buddy.” Kaden whined but easily went with him. An idea occurred to me and I decided it was time to go too.
“Hey princess, let’s go. I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” She went down the slide and bounced over to me excitedly.
“How does ice cream sound?” I asked chuckling.
“Yay,” she squealed. “Ice cream.”
We went to get in the car and I opened the back door. She climbed in without a complaint. So happy at the prospect of ice cream that she didn’t even comment on me putting her in the backseat. I wasn’t taking any chances. I wanted to make sure I was allowed to see her again, and putting her in any type of danger would make that impossible.
We got to the ice cream shop and I saw Sissy’s car in the parking lot. I forgot that she worked there on Sunday afternoons. “Prepare yourself, princess. You’re about to meet hurricane Sissy.”
We walked in and the squeal was ear piercing. “See, I told you,” I whispered. Abby giggled.
“You! I’m so mad at you for not calling me the second you left your dorm the first time.” Sissy smacked my arm. “I heard you were at a party last night.” Smack.
“Okay. Okay. Sissy, this is my new friend Abby.”
“Well hello, Abby. What are you doing hanging out with this big lug?” Sissy crouched in front of Abby with her hand outstretched.
Abby took her hand for a shake. “He saved me.” She looked up at me with big adoring eyes. God, the kid made me feel fifty feet tall.
“You guys want some ice cream?” Sissy asked, standing back up.
“Yes.” Abby clapped her hands together bouncing on the tips of her toes. Sissy led us over to a small table, handed us menus. Abby looked unsure.
“Get whatever you want, princess.”
“Anything?” Her eyes lit up. I remember having felt like that. If my mom brought me to a treat like ice cream, there was always a catch. I could only get one scoop and nothing on it because she had very little money. The only time we even went to ice cream was on my birthday, and even then I felt guilty for having her spend her money on me.
“Anything you want.”
Abby turned out to be a pretty conservative kid. She ordered a chocolate cone with sprinkles. I tried to talk her into getting more toppings but she was happy with what she picked. I got a hot fudge sundae with everything I could possibly get on it. Abby laughed when she saw the giant thing. “You may have to help me eat this thing.”
“No way, Jose. That’s all you.”
“Oh c’mon, you can’t leave ice cream behind. That’s blasphemy.”
“What’s blasphemy?”
“Um,” I rooted around to get an extra few marshmallows on my spoon. “In this case, blasphemy means we can’t leave even a drop.”
“Then you shouldn’t have ordered that ginormous ice cream.”
“You two are adorable together.” Sissy had a huge grin on her face as she walked over with glasses of water. “You better not waste that, Ry.”
“I won’t, but I may be in a sugar coma later if someone doesn’t help me.” Abby rolled her eyes at my dramatics.
We ate our ice cream chatting mildly. I needed to find out the kinds of things that Abby liked, since I refused to be one of the people in her life who let her down. I grilled her about everything from her favorite color to her birthday and found out her birthday was in a few months. It didn’t take long before we were both stuffed full of ice cream, which Abby ended up helping me finish. Even with her eating some, I was going to have to work doubly hard at the gym to make sure all that sugar didn’t go straight to my gut, but the time spent with her was totally worth it.
When we got back to the house I could see Abby’s eyes drooping. I pulled the car into the driveway and noticed a familiar sports car in the driveway. I blew out an aggravated breath. Walking around the car to open Abby’s door, I reached down and removed her seat belt and lifted her tired body into my arms. “Probably shouldn’t have asked you to help me with all that extra ice cream, huh?”
“It was so good though.” She yawned. The door opened before I got a chance to ring the bell, and there he was in all his glory smiling at me.
“She looks worn out,” Philip mused.
“More of a sugar coma than anything I think. We went to get ice cream after the park.” I hadn’t even thought to get Martha’s phone number, though it was probably in the text that Daniel had sent me. “I hope that’s okay, Martha.”
“It’s fine. As long as you both had a good time.” She smiled warmly.
“Martha?” Abby’s sleepy voice rang out. “Ryan says I should trust you, so I’m gonna try.” She yawned again. This kid was amazing. I couldn’t help noticing the look both Philip and Martha gave her at that blunt and honest statement.
“I should probably put her to bed for a nap?”
“Up the stairs, first door on the right.”
Abby’s room was just what any little girl would want. There were tons of toys and dolls. The whole room was pink and her little twin bed had a Barbie comforter on it. How Martha had managed to get the new toys and a comforter in less than a day, I had no clue. The woman was definitely a pro at this kid thing.
I laid Abby on the bed brushing her hair away from her face. “Thank you, Ryan.”
“Anytime, princess.” Closing the door, I made my way back down the stairs. Philip and Martha were talking quietly. “She’s asleep.”
“I was just talking to Martha about Abby’s upcoming therapy.”
I was happy to hear that was being taken care of and knew that betwe
en Philip, Daniel, and Martha, Abby had found herself some adults willing to do their best by her.
“I can handle it.” Martha winked at Philip. “She isn’t my first troubled child. Daniel always sends the ones that need me the most.”
“I’m glad she has you,” I admitted. “Her room is perfect. I have a feeling she is going to be happy here.”
“Thank you, I hope she will.”
“Well, I came to check on Abby, but since she’s asleep I’ll be going now,” Philip said moving toward the front door.
“Yeah, I should get going too. Thank you, Martha for letting me spend the afternoon with Abby.” The old woman hugged me.
“Anytime, dear. You’re welcome to come see her anytime you want.”
We walked out the door and to our cars not even saying a word to each other, still a little angry at him for the incident in the car the night before. It was irrational but it didn’t stop the indignation I felt toward him. I’d never been turned down before, and considering what I’d done to Dave not ten minutes before, it was a bit eye opening.
“Ryan,” Philip called out to me. I paused midstep but didn’t turn around. “We need to talk.”
“About?” I asked, feigning ignorance. It was probably childish but I didn’t care. He was going to have to spell it out for me. He may be older, but I was no pushover.
“You know what I mean,” he said exasperated. “Just come by my place in an hour, please?”
“Your place?” I turned around cocking an eyebrow at him.
“Well, we can’t exactly be seen in public together.” He shrugged, tapping his foot. Is he nervous? His hands were shoved in his pockets and it made his chest flex. My eyes didn’t leave his chest as he rocked back on his heels. Or is this some type of dominant game?
“Right,” I said gruffly, coming to the conclusion that for all I was trying to figure this out, the real reason was that he couldn’t be seen with me, and as much as there was probably something about me he was attracted to, I wasn’t going to be worth the effort. It stung more than I wanted to admit.
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