Somewhere In The Middle

by Lucas Coon

  "No!" she yelled at him as he approached. She looked over at Mitchell. Darren turned around and moved his eyes to looking at Mitchell. He shrugged and tilted his head.

  "Looks like this is your job, huh?" He stepped back to Mitchell and slapped is flashlight into his hand. "I tried to get you out of it." Mitchell gripped the flashlight and sighed. Darren may have tried, but it was a minimal effort. He stepped forward.

  "OK Brynn, it's alright. I just want to flash the light into your mouth... like this." He turned the flashlight and shined it into his own mouth. "See?" He shined it around and made an “ah” noise. "No big deal, right?" He grinned at her. She smiled and stepped towards him. "And I thought you were supposed to be the parent here Darren." He turned and Brynn opened her mouth for him. "Alright, I'm not seeing anything out of the ordinary here. Looks like you're good."

  "Does my mouth look like yours?" Brynn kept smiling at him as she asked this question.

  "Heh, no you... wait, what?" Mitchell thought it was funny at first but quickly realized the seriousness of this question. "What do you mean?"

  "Your tongue looked funny!" She shot this at him jokingly. He took it quite serious. "Did mine look funny too?"

  Mitchell stood up and looked at Madison, then quickly turned his gaze to Darren. Darren had a look of both seriousness and shock on his face. He stared Mitchell down straight in the eyes.

  "Mitchell." He stepped towards him cautiously." Hand me the flashlight." Mitchell started to panic in his head. 'I am not infected.' He could feel a horrible pain in the pit of his stomach, he assumed this was anger, anxiety and nervousness packed into a ball deep in his intestines. This was not what he wanted to hear. He handed the small flashlight to Darren and closed his eyes. He felt Darren grab it and he stood there for a moment with his eyes closed. After a few seconds had passed, he then watched Darren point the light into Madison's mouth.

  "Nope, all clear. Let's go." Darren clicked the light off and started to walk towards the hallway entrance. Madison and Brynn stood there for a moment, but Madison decided to walk towards Darren and pulled Brynn in tow. Mitchell stood confused as they walked away from him. There was a sense of confusion that was overtaking him entirely. Why had Darren opted to ignore what Brynn stated? He stood watching them walk away.

  "I said let's go. Come on, Mitchell." He turned and looked at Mitchell, but kept walking.

  "Aren't you going to check--"

  "No..." Darren cut him off with a very flat response.

  "But I could be--"

  "I don't want to know." Each time Mitchell would attempt to state the obvious, Darren was willing to cut him off and dismiss the idea. Mitchell looked down at the floor and considered his options. He could go with them, potentially turn and then die. Or he could stay here, potentially turn and then die. If he was going to die, it was going to be in good company. He stepped forward and attempted to catch up to the group. He felt that the glares he was receiving from Madison were those of someone feeling quite uneasy. She kept looking at him out of the corner of her eye and each time he could feel it. He opted to ignore it and stepped ahead of her. He put himself directly behind Darren as they headed back down the stairs. Darren opened the door to the stairwell and motioned Madison and Brynn through the opening.

  "One moment ladies." He smiled and waved at the two women sanding defenseless in the stairwell. He shut the door and stood staring at the handle. "Mitchell, I know what she said and honestly it scared me to death, but..." He paused. He kept his gaze at the door handle. Mitchell assumed that he didn't want to look up and face the situation. "I honestly don’t want to think about the potential of you being infected. This past week as been nothing but pure hell. You, Kayla and Lilly are the only reasons that I want to keep going. Kayla and Lilly are obvious, they're my family. You may find this hard man, but I'm starting to feel like you're the brother I never had. I know it's cheesy, or lame, but we've saved each other's lives and have looked out for each other since the incident with Abram. I know it's only been what..." He stopped to think. He looked up at the ceiling. "...four days?" He laughed under his breath. "It's weird. These situations make a couple of days feel like forever and makes those people that you've only known a few days..." He motioned to Mitchell without turning. "...feel like family." He finally turned to look at Mitchell. "If you're infected, I don't care. I don't want to know one way or another. The night you came into the office, I checked you and you were fine. I forced you to open your mouth, I shined the light down your throat myself and I verified that you were not infected. Between then and now, I can only think of one time you went anywhere and I wasn't there by you and that was when you led Claire out. We've drank from the same water supply, we've eaten food from the same source; I can't think of a single thing that has happened since Saturday night that could have led to you getting infected. You're acting normal, aside from the passing out thing, but other than that you're you." He put his hand back on the handle. "So, again, I honestly don't want to know if you are infected or not."

  "Wait, Darren." Mitchell stopped him before he opened the door. "I understand that you don't want to know." He put his hand on his forehead. It was oily and he remembered that he could desperately use a shower. "If I start to turn, just lock me in a room somewhere with enough food and water for a day and leave. You're right, I'm not feeling sick; I'm not feeling anything. The blackouts are weird, but I'm not feeling like I'm infected. Heh, I'm not sure what that feels like." He paused for a moment. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is, if it comes down to it, remove me from the picture and get the hell out of here. If that happens, just promise me you'll try to find Aria and tell her that I'm gone. If she's still out there, I can't bear to consider the fact that she's feeling the same thing as me. It is killing me to not know if she's alive or dead, so, maybe knowing I'm dead will be closure for her."

  "Don't worry. If we come to that bridge, we'll cross it. Other than that, we need to get back down stairs and continue our search, right?" He put his hand out for Mitchell to shake.

  "Right." He shook Darren's hand and they opened the door to the stairwell.

  "Mommy, why are the people with the bugs trying to kill us?" Lilly was playing with a doll that her parents had managed to keep in their bag. The doll was missing an entire arm and her hair was mostly cut off, but she was a stress release for the five year old girl and Kayla wasn't willing to take that from her.

  "Umm, well..." Kayla didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. Inside she wanted to spill her guts and tell the child that the people are infected with a parasite that makes them want to rip into flesh and devour anything, living or dead, they could get their hands on. She wanted to tell her that the world outside had become a living hell and would probably never go back to the calm city they were all used to. She wanted to, but couldn’t. "They're just sick honey."

  "They're sick so they want to hurt us? I don't want to hurt you when I get sick, that's silly." She kept staring at her doll and rubbing her hair. Kayla stared at her daughter. She was so innocent in a world guilty of ruining everything beautiful. She was a ray of light in a time where the sun failed to rise. She was Kayla's reason for continuing. She loved Darren, but she knew that, without her, he would survive. Lilly, on the other hand, needed Kayla to stick around. She was dependent upon her mother and Kayla was dependent upon her daughter. They needed each other to keep going. Kayla was trying to figure out whether or not it was fair to put all this weight on her daughter. She looked at the young girl's green eyes and freckled cheeks. She was beautiful and this was how Kayla wanted to always remember her, the only problem in Kayla's mind was the question as to whether or not it was fair for her to ask Lilly to be her support. As the days went on, each minute made it more likely they would be killed at some point, by something. They'd been through a lot over the past week and Kayla could only expect that it was going to get worse, there was no way they would be ending the nightmare any time soon.

  Lilly continued to play with her d
oll, making her speak in a high-pitched tone and say nonsensical things that Kayla couldn't really hear. Kayla was staring at Lilly with a painful gaze. She had a fear in her eyes over what was going to happen the next couple of days. That fear began to grow deeper and darker than she ever could have expected. She watched her daughter play quietly in the corner of the room and began to wonder if this was the highlight of the remainder of her life. Would it get better? Or was she destined to grow up in the hell that they were currently living? Would she even get to the point of growing up? Was her fifth birthday her last?

  'Is that the way it should be?' Kayla felt the sweat seeping from the pores on her forehead. She looked to her right hand and noticed the handgun sitting on the counter nearby. It sat, barrel pointing towards the door, waiting to be used if necessary. 'Is it necessary?' She stared down the gunmetal-black, the light dimly reflecting off the handle and gleaming back into her face. It was there. It was ready. It was easy.

  She was never a weak spirit; she never chose to show that she was being affected by what was happening and she never showed that she was scared. In the past seven days she broke down only twice, once when Mitchell and Darren told her that Claire was infected and once when the maniac Denver was holding a gun to her daughters head. Now that she was in a place, alone with her daughter, she was having these thoughts. The handgun made the situation tense, but would make it easy to put an end to the pain.

  "Mommy, when are daddy and mister Mitchell going to come back?" Lilly was looking at her mother impatiently. Kayla continued staring at the handgun on the counter. Lilly squinted her eyes angrily at Kayla. "Mommy!" She raised her volume a level or two to catch Kayla's attention. Kayla jumped slightly and turned to smile at Lilly.

  "I'm sorry, what was that sweetheart?" She leaned down to Lilly's level.

  "I said, when are daddy and Mitchell coming back? I'm bored!" She stomped her foot in protest of waiting.

  "I know honey, they should be back soon. Just keep playing for a while. They won't be too much longer." She took a deep breath to prevent herself from sobbing.

  "Ugh, fine!" Lilly plopped herself back down onto the floor and continued playing with her doll. Kayla turned her sight back to the gun as she slowly slid her hand onto the handle and gripped it. She adjusted her eyes back to her daughter. Because she was angry with her, she had turned away from her when she plopped back down onto the floor. This made the thought that Kayla was having more real than she would have liked. If she lifted the gun, and pulled the trigger once, Lilly wouldn't feel it. She would fall over and wouldn't have to continue on; she wouldn't have to keep suffering. She could escape this reality. She could be at peace and never have to wake up worrying whether or not she would see the end of the day. She could stay a beautiful and innocent five-year-old for the rest of eternity. Why was she thinking these thoughts? 'Release.' She attempted to think clearer. 'It's release.' She began to lift the gun from the counter.

  "Knock, knock!" Darren pushed the door open and stepped in. As he opened the door Kayla dropped the gun back onto the counter and it hit with a thud. It was audible and she knew it was. Darren quickly looked over to Kayla and gave her a concerned look. "What's wrong honey?" He asked with an inflection that could only be described as monotone.

  "Oh, um, nothing. Heh." She laughed it off and held the tears back. "Nothing at all, we were just, um, waiting for you guys to come back." She moved her hand and wiped her eyes. After she had gone through the motion, she realized what she had done.

  "Daddy! I'm bored!" Lilly stood up and hugged Darren. He held his stare at his wife for several seconds, but looked down at his daughter after a moment of silence.

  "OK, OK!!" He picked her up. "Daddy's here and I got something to show you!" He giggled at his little girl and she giggled back. His smile faded down to a small grin and he turned back to Kayla. "We'll, uh, we'll be out here whenever you're ready. We didn't find Aria, but we did find some people, so it's better than nothing." He chuckled. "You know, the more the merrier." He turned and stepped out, shutting the door behind him. Kayla sat in the silence for a minute, staring at the spot where Lilly was sitting. She didn't blink and her stare sat constant as her tear ducts opened like flood gates. She burst into tears and shoved her head into her hands. As she cried, she could feel the fear and the anger beginning to ball up in her stomach. She was terrified of what she was thinking and even more terrified that she may one day consider following through.

  Chapter 16 – To All We've Lost

  "I don't want to go there!" Lilly was starting to get fussy in the back seat of the car. "I want chicken!" Her tone was serious, as serious as you could possibly get as an angry little girl.

  "They have chicken Lilly-Anne!" Darren looked back at his daughter. Kayla was keeping her eyes on the road, so Darren had to be the one to do the parenting. "You love going to Robin's!" He looked her in the eyes and she grimaced at him.

  "What kind of chicken do they have?" She still sounded angry. "I want chicken nuggets!" She started to squirm angrily again.

  "They have chicken strips. You like them, remember? You dip them in ketchup and eat them." He turned back around and faced forward in his seat. "It's pretty much all you ever eat."

  "No! I want nuggets!" She was starting to argue for the sake of arguing at this point. She loved going to Robin's and always ordered the chicken strips with fries. They were the only pizza place in the city that she could go to because she never wanted to eat pizza, she only wanted the chicken strips and the other places didn't have them.

  "Well, when you bring home the paycheck, you can choose where we go. Until then, it's Robin's." He smiled at Kayla, she grinned back at him.

  "I don’t want pizza daddy!" She started to cry under her yelling at him.

  "OK, Lilly-Anne, you don't have to have pizza. You can have chicken." He turned back to face her a second time. "You need to calm down and stop yelling. Do you want anything for your birthday? Because you're well on your way to getting nothing."

  "No, I want things for my birthday!" She dropped her volume but her tone was still angry.

  "OK, then stop crying, calm down and quit arguing!" He raised his tone at her. He never meant to, but it was difficult to not get upset when she argued over pointless things. He had a hard time remembering that she was four. "You turn five in three days, you don't need to act like that. You need to act more grown up. You're not a baby anymore, Lilly-Anne."

  “I'm sorry. I'll stop being a baby." She stopped crying, but she was still talking with a stuffed nose. "Can I have my birthday things?" Darren and Kayla both laughed silently at this question. It was an innocent question, it was just humorous to have a young girl ask this kind of question.

  "I don't know yet. Are you going to be good?" Darren looked at her sternly.

  "Yes."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  "Then yes, you can get your presents on your birthday." He turned back to face the road ahead. "See, I told you that I can make her stop." He stuck his tongue out at Kayla. "So, Lilly-Anne, are you ready to go to college next week? Or are you going to get a job?" He looked up at the rear-view mirror at his daughter.

  "Darren, knock it off." Kayla hit him in the arm. "Don't do that to her."

  "Do I have to go to college?" She was inquisitive about the possibilities.

  "Not if you get a job. Would you rather get a job?" Darren continued to grin maliciously.

  "Can I work at the zoo? I want to pet the polar bear!" She started to get excited about the potential of working as a polar bear groomer. She looked up in the mirror and smiled at Darren.

  "Well, I guess, if that's what you want to do." He was impressed with her answer. He expected horse-rider or something a normal four year old would say.

  "Yeah, I want to be friends with the polar bear!" Her upset demeanor changed to a wide smile. They didn't say much more for the remainder of the trip. Robin's Pizzeria was busy, as always, but the traffic in the parking lot was a bit li
ghter than usual. Kayla parked the car and unbuckled her daughter. She'd figured out how to undo the seatbelt a long time ago, but she seemed to only do it when it wasn't convenient and would wait for Kayla to do it for her when it would be OK to do so. They gathered at the front of the car and walked up to the door. Darren opened it and allowed Kayla and Lilly to enter, then he walked in. He noticed that another family was approaching the door as he walked in and he pushed it back open for them.

  "Oh, thank you sir!" The man spoke with a thick accent. He entered behind Darren's family. He could hear them talking behind him. “Have you been here before?" The man asked his wife the innocent question.

  "No, but the boys said they'd been here with their friends and that it was good. I figured we could give it a try, then all come together next time." She was quiet, almost inaudible. Darren leaned back to the couple.

  "We come here all the time, if you guys like pizza, you'll love it here. It's locally owned and, honestly, I don't know how they stay in business with how cheap their food is." He laughed it off. It was an innocent statement to a couple of strangers. The man laughed and thanked him.

  "See, they said it was going to be good. Our boys are smart Abram, they know good food. Especially greasy; it's amazing they don't weigh more than you.” Darren thought this was hilarious.

  "I know the feeling, I have a four year old here that won't eat anything but chicken nuggets right now." He chuckled.

  "Ours are a bit older but I understand. Go to any fast food place and they're all over it. I make dinner at home and they turn their nose up! I cannot believe them!" The two men laughed and parted ways as the hostess pulled the Barbers to their table for the night. Darren waved at the husband and wife as he walked away.

  They sat in the booth and put Lilly-Anne in a chair at the edge of the table. A chipper girl walked up to the table and introduced herself to the family.