Screaming in the Silence

by Lydia Kelly

  A course and calloused hand traveled over my jaw and covered my mouth while the other tangled in my hair, pulling me back to the mattress. The hands at my feet gripped my ankles and moved up to my knees, impervious to my kicks and struggles. I felt long legs straddle my hips. Hands worked their way under my shirt and up to my chest. Finally, I screamed against the hand that was covering my mouth, still kicking and thrashing my arms around violently.

  The old mattress only gave a little and the hands on my chest crushed me against it, making it difficult to breath. The hands fondled my breasts, pulling and pinching, and it wasn’t long before I felt something warm and wet on my neck. A tongue slithered over my jaw and around my ear before replacing the hand over my mouth. I held my lips together as the tongue tried to enter my mouth, my fists still beating furiously against a chest and shoulders, taking random swings at the second man who held me down. The attacker didn’t seem to notice in the slightest as he turned and twisted my breasts beneath his massive hands.

  I stopped my efforts and hesitated when I felt his tongue leave my face. I didn’t want to scream because I could still feel his breath on my lips. The warm air coming from his mouth was accompanied by a light spray of saliva and I could only guess what he was screaming. Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed my ribcage as a fist made contact with my side. I gasped in pain. That was the window he was looking for and I felt the thick tongue slide into my mouth, sour breath nearly causing me to gag. I turned my head to escape his lips, but to no avail. One of his hands left my breast and traveled to my jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper before plunging beneath the denim and prodding at my panties. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fight him off, couldn’t save myself. So I did the next thing that came to mind. I bit down hard, waiting until I tasted blood before releasing, and screaming at the top of my lungs in the hopes that someone would hear me.

  The hand struck my face and I felt blood splatter on my skin as he spit on me. The back of his hand made contact with my cheek and I saw a hazy light fill the room. My eyes adjusted slowly, my head still dizzy from the beating. It was Ray, His face was close to mine but he wasn’t looking at me. I nearly gagged again when I saw how much blood there was beneath the stubble on his chin. I turned my head to follow his gaze and saw a blurry Kaden standing in front of us, his face red and his hand clenched.

  “Get off of her,” Kaden said, looking straight at Ray.

  I didn’t look up to see Ray’s response.

  “Fuck you! Get off!” Kaden’s eyes continued to bore into Ray.

  Neither man spoke and the room filled with a heated tension. Ray’s brother released his grip on my hair and the mattress heaved as he stood up. I craned my neck so I could see him. His brown eyes looked regretful. He didn’t look a day over eighteen in this light and I almost pitied him and his role in all of this.

  Ray was still on top of me. He stared back at Kaden with a playful bullishness, although I couldn’t tell if he was challenging or propositioning my defender. Slowly, his head started to shake, his round face moving closer to mine.

  “Did you want to go first?” he asked. “Who fucks her first probably doesn’t matter to her.”

  I looked at Kaden. “Get off,” he repeated.

  “But she’s perfect,” Ray protested and looked down at me as his hand came out from under my shirt and stroked my hair. “You can do whatever you want to her and won’t have to listen to her bitching when it’s over.”

  My jaw clenched. I was dying to scream at him, to tell him what a sick, twisted, disgusting excuse for a man he was. But I didn’t. My eyes burned into his with all the hatred I had for him and all the of contempt I felt toward Kaden for getting me to play along with this lie. Ray smiled and his thin and bloodstained lips crept over his yellow teeth. His fingers twitched beneath my jeans and I twisted by body in a lame attempt to escape.

  “She’s wet, too. Wet and ready for us. What a fucking whore.”

  It wasn’t true, though. I knew it and by the look on Kaden’s face he knew it too. But why wasn’t he doing anything? Why was he just standing there, allowing Ray to continue?

  I felt Ray’s fingers start to move back and forth across my panties and the humiliation became more than I could stand. A wave of nausea swept over me and tears slid down my cheeks. I was almost ready to give up and accept my fate, convinced that Kaden wasn’t going to do anything more to stop Ray’s assault.

  “So what do you say, Kaden?” Ray spoke again. “Shall we go at her from both ends? Plug her until she pops?”

  Kaden lunged at Ray. His green eyes blazed with anger and his mouth twisted into a snarl. Ray landed hard on my stomach but quickly rolled to the side as Kaden’s body came down on him. I backed up quickly, freeing my legs from beneath the squabble of limbs. Two hands pulled me up. Kaden delivered his first punch to Ray’s face. Ray fought desperately to block him but Kaden was quick and landed another blow to the side of Ray’s jaw.

  Suddenly, Kaden stood up and backed away. Ray lay on his back and was holding his side, laughing. Kaden panted, out of breath.

  “You better watch yourself, Kaden. We’re in this together, all equal shares, remember? That includes her.”

  “Go find some girl in town to fuck, Ray. You can’t have her.” Kaden pointed to me as he spoke and then turned his full attention to the man holding me. “The same goes for you, Marshal, although I doubt you have it in you.”

  Marshal dropped his hands from my arms and walked toward the stairs.

  “Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot have?” Ray asked as he stood up and brushed himself off. He zipped his fly and buttoned the top of his jeans.

  “I’m the one who just kicked your ass.” He rolled his shoulders forward and stood up straight. “Don’t touch her again.”

  “Come on, man. It’s not worth it,” Marshal pleaded with his brother.

  Ray shot Kaden one last warning glare before he nodded and pushed past him to follow his brother up the stairs. Kaden watched them leave before looking at me. His face showed little emotion and his eyes were like glass.

  “Are you all right?”

  Fuck you, I signed, completely outraged he would bother asking such a question.

  “Did he hurt you?” Kaden didn’t seem to take offense.

  Yes. My sides ached and my face felt swollen but what was he going to do about it?

  He nodded and walked slowly toward me, pulling at the bottom of his shirt. I stepped back as he neared, not wanting anything or anyone to come within an arm’s length of me. But Kaden held up his hand in surrender, the other bringing the tail of his shirt up to his ribs. I eyed him cautiously and he paused before stripping off his shirt. I took a few more steps back, shaking my head, signing for him not to come any closer.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Raleigh. I won’t even touch you.”

  I was backed up against the wall with no place to go. Kaden slowly closed the space between us. My breath came out short and weak, I didn’t have any fight left in me, so, with tears in my eyes, I gave up. He lifted his balled shirt and brought it to my cheek. I was scared he was going to gag me with it, blindfold me perhaps, but he didn’t. Carefully and softly, he wiped away Ray’s blood from my face and neck.

  I looked down once I realized what he had started doing and felt the tiniest twinge of guilt for not trusting him. But why should I? He wasn’t my friend or necessarily even on my side. I was being used by this man. But maybe even if I couldn’t trust him, I might be able to trust his motives. Did that even make any sense?

  Staring at Kaden’s naked chest did little to help my confusion. His large muscles flexed as he worked to clean my face. His smooth skin was pulled over defined abdominals and a faint trail of hair progressed from his lower stomach only to disappear beneath his belt. His other hand leaned against the wall to support his weight, trapping me between his body and the cinderblocks.

  I longed to be comforted. I wanted him to touch me, to tell me everything was going t
o be alright, to take me in his arms and keep me there until all the pain went away. I could feel his body warmth and it tempted me to reach out and run my hands over his skin, pull him close and hold on tight. But I didn’t move. Kaden would never comfort me. I was nothing but a dollar sign to him.

  He finally finished cleaning my face and I raised my head to look at him. He studied his work carefully, his eyes roaming my face but never meeting my gaze, his lips staying firmly pressed together, and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He pulled his hand away from the wall and he seemed to reach for me, nearing but not quite touching my skin. I wanted to lean into it, force him to touch me but I kept still. Our eyes met for a second before he pulled his hand away.

  I took a deep breath. He turned away and I repressed the urge to thank him. Not looking back, he skipped up the stairs two at a time, the spring in his step emphasizing how ready he was to be away from me. I pushed myself from the wall, my knees shaking and my heart thudding in my chest. I climbed back into bed, pulled the covers up to my neck, and cried myself back to sleep.

  Chapter 6

  “Can you hear her?”

  I giggled and looked up at my father. “Yes. She sounds beautiful.”

  He smiled down at me and took my little hand in his, leading me quickly down the hallway of the opera house. The grand door opened quietly and we slipped inside unnoticed. I ran as fast as my short, pudgy legs could carry me to the front row, my mother smiling at me from the stage as she sang. Her voice filled the enormous space and I took a seat directly in front of her so I could watch every move. She slided gracefully across the stage, her arms stretched wide and her generous hips swaying in time with the music. I couldn’t understand what she was singing; my father had told me I wouldn’t because it was in French. But I didn’t mind. My mother’s voice was the most beautiful thing in the world and I let it fill my ears and heart completely.

  The song finished and I stood up and cheered, my mother beaming at me. “Tell me, Darling, what did you think?”

  “I loved it!” I exclaimed as I jumped up and down, eager to show my approval.

  “Shall we sing one together, then?”

  “Mama, I don’t know any from this one,” I explained, hoping she wouldn’t mind and ask me again despite this drawback.

  “But you know so many others. Come on stage and we’ll sing together.” She smiled at me and I ran up the stairs and across the stage into her waiting arms. She brushed a blonde curl out of my face before hugging me close and kissing my cheek.

  “Now, what shall it be? ‘You Are My Sunshine?’ ‘Lullaby and Goodnight?’”

  “‘Baby Mine!’”

  “‘Baby Mine’ it is then.” My mother stood up and I did the same, throwing my shoulders back and opening my rib cage, just like she showed me.

  “Daddy, are you watching?” My eyes scanned the empty chairs and found him sitting a few rows back, a wide smile on his face as he stared up at his two girls.

  “I’m watching, Baby.” I couldn’t tell if he was speaking to me or my mother but I smiled and looked up to see her winking at him.

  My mother didn’t mind my shrill singing. She always told me how wonderful I sounded and today was no different. I was the picture of happiness as she reached down to hug me.

  “You go join your father now, I have to finish the rehearsal.”

  I nodded and skipped off the stage, turning halfway up the isle to wave at her and blow a kiss. I reached my father in the back of the auditorium, his protective hand resting on my shoulder.

  I woke up. Kaden stood over me kicking the mattress. He was frowning and had a bowl in his hand. I could see steam rising from the top.

  “Oatmeal.”

  Of course it was oatmeal. Couldn’t he say something normal such as ‘Good morning’ or ‘I’ve brought you breakfast?’ I sat up, my chest feeling much better than the day before, and threw my legs over the side of the mattress. Kaden handed me the bowl and walked up the stairs without saying another word. I waited until he was out of sight before devouring the warm breakfast. It was instant oatmeal, that much was clear, but I didn’t care. It was enough to get me through the morning.

  When I finished, I stood up and looked around. Last night’s terror still fogged my head, making it difficult for me to breathe, difficult to think, difficult to stay standing and not throw myself back to the bed. New tears fell from my eyes but I was determined to stay strong. Kaden had stopped them and I was safe for now. I took two hesitant steps forward, feeling as if I was walking for the first time, and then took I took a few more.

  I circled the room, examining everything that was now in my world. The faucet on the wash basin was rusted. I turned the knobs and a thick, brown stream of water flowed into the drain. I let it run for a few moments and it eventually turned clear although I didn’t trust it enough to drink it. Next, I opened the fridge and was hit with a foul smell. Molded fruit and leftovers lay inside along with a few beers on the door.

  Turning around, I walked to the stairs and peered up, surprised to find the door had been left open. I grabbed my toothbrush and climbed slowly up the rickety wooden staircase, waiting for one of the trembling boards to crack under my feet. I stepped hesitantly into the bright living room, unsure of who I would find. I had lost all sense of time in the windowless basement and the clock on the wall read 10:45.

  Kaden sat at the table, a laptop open in front of him, and an angry expression on his face. He didn’t look at me as I entered the room although I know he heard me. His green eyes glowed in the reflection of the screen, and his full lips were pursed tightly together.

  I knew he was probably investigating my family, searching to find which relative could pay the most for my safe return. But I didn’t want to be there if he happened to stumble upon my father’s name. I took my toothbrush and walked up stairs to the bathroom. The window had been boarded shut. Even though the house now felt more like a prison, at least I was able to roam it freely.

  I felt sick when I looked at my face in the mirror. My already bruised and beaten face was now swollen around my eyes. I stripped my clothes off and turned on the water in the shower. I lathered my body with soap, washed my hair repeatedly, and then lathered my body again. But nothing could wash away the feeling of Ray’s hands on my skin or his tongue on my face.

  When I was done, I opened the shower curtain and screamed, jumping back against the wall as I saw Kaden’s infuriated face inches from mine.

  What are you doing? I signed to him when I had control of my shaking hands.

  “Tell me, Raleigh, what about this don’t you understand? Keeping these secrets from me isn’t going to help you.”

  I don’t know���

  “Speak! They’re fucking gone!”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied as I reached for my towel from the day before. Kaden grabbed it and threw it at me, throwing up his hands in frustration.

  “This isn’t funny. If Ray and Marshal find out who your father is, we’re fucked.”

  “No, I’m already fucked,” I snapped at him. “You’ve kidnapped me, remember? Regardless of if they find out or not, this isn’t going to go well for me.”

  “It will go a lot better if you do exactly what I say and stop lying.”

  “Why should I do anything you say?” I challenged him although I already knew the answer.

  He grabbed my arm and brought his face closer to mine. “You want a repeat of last night? Maybe next time, I won’t hear you scream.”

  My face became solemn and I looked away. “I don’t want that to happen again,” I finally admitted.

  Kaden’s fingers turned my head toward his. “I won’t let it. Just tell me if there is anything else you’re keeping from me.”

  I shook my head. He didn’t want my whole life story. He wanted money and now he knew exactly where he could get it. I don’t know if he realized the boat he was throwing himself into. A senator’s daughter, even one that hasn’t been able
to maintain a functional relationship with her father since age six, wasn’t someone to be toyed with. The resources at my father’s disposal were almost endless and Kaden was going to be lucky if he was able to outsmart them.

  “Get dressed and come downstairs. We’ve got a lot to talk about.” He released my arm and left me standing in the shower. A clean shirt had replaced the blood stained one he had given me yesterday and was neatly folded on the ground next to my jeans.

  I dressed quickly and walked downstairs. Kaden sat the computer. I sat down across from him and watched him read the article on the screen. I prayed it wasn’t one of the archived tabloid reports of my adolescent behavior. Eventually, he closed the browser and stared at me.

  “You’re father is said to be a favorite of the GOP.”

  I nodded.

  “Senator Christopher Chapman comes from a long line of political figures but is the first to be a senator.”

  I blinked.

  “What would he do if he knew his daughter was kidnapped while hitchhiking in North Carolina?”

  I looked away, afraid to answer. My father would do anything he could to get me back. That was his obligation. If the press found out, he might act, in front of the cameras at least, like he wanted me back. But I was a burden to him, a rebel child who challenged his conservative ideals. He had, over the course of my twenty-six years, paid me to keep quiet and out of the spotlight. To everybody who mattered, I was the ideal daughter. One even to be pitied because of my handicap.

  I looked back at Kaden who waited for my response.

  “He would want me back.”

  “Does he know where you are?”

  I shook my head. My father thought I was in Europe visiting museums. I had cashed in my graduation present (first class tickets to Rome) and packed my bag, hitching a ride from the airport. With nowhere in particular to go and months of freedom ahead of me, I had traveled from Delaware all the way to North Carolina courtesy of truckers and lonely drivers. Sure, it was dangerous, but after graduating with a degree that I had no desire to use, I was longing for a little excitement.