Sweet Renegade

by Large, Andria

  “You need help, Denny. Please, stop being so stubborn and just go get help,” Lizette pleads.

  “I’m not worth it,” Denny says dejectedly.

  “Hey, that’s not true. We’ll take you to the VA in the morning, okay? We’ll get you the best care possible,” I say.

  “Why would you do that after what I just did to you?” Dennis asks, turning his head to look at me. I hate the look in the man’s eyes - the look of a man who has given up all hope.

  “Because you didn’t know what you were doing. Like Lizette said, you need help. I will never hold what happened here against you, but you do owe it to me to at least try to get treatment,” I reply.

  Dennis searches my eyes for a moment before he nods in agreement. “Okay,” he whispers. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Beau.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  After sitting in silence for a moment, Lizette speaks up.

  “Denny, you were asking Beau where your wife was? Do you know why you would say something like that?”

  Dennis scrubs a hand hard over his face and gets to his feet. He walks over to the window, leans on the sill, and stares out. Lizette and I wait patiently for him to talk.

  “During my last tour, I started seeing this woman, she was an English reporter. We fell in love quickly. I knew that she was the only woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so I asked her to marry me and she said yes. One of my Marine buddies is also an ordained minister; he married us even though it wasn’t going to be considered legal in the U.S. since she wasn’t a citizen and we didn’t have a license. But we wanted to be married, and when we got back to the States, she was going to get dual citizenship and we were going to get married for real. We were only married for two weeks before a group of rebels grabbed her while she was doing a report in an area known for kidnapping women foreigners. She was so stupid. I had warned her…begged her not to go there, but she did it anyway, for her story,” he croaks and hangs his head.

  Lizette is crying softly next to me on the floor. I gently pull her into my lap and hold her. She drops her head to my chest and wraps her arms around my waist. I can’t imagine how she is feeling right now, hearing of her brother’s heartache for the first time. She obviously had no idea that he had gotten married while he was away.

  “I didn’t find out until a day after she was taken. I showed up at her hotel room and found her cameraman and assistant freaking the hell out. When I finally got them to tell me what happened, my stomach filled with dread. There was no way that I was going to find her in time to save her. By the time I got back to base and was able to get a rescue mission together, I had a terrible feeling that I was going to be bringing back my wife’s body.”

  Dennis pushes off the windowsill and goes to sit on the couch. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He pulls in a deep breath and continues.

  “By the time we were able to locate her, a whole other day had passed. Nothing could have prepared me for what I found. She had been raped, tortured, and then beaten to death. I went ballistic, killing ever motherfucker I could find in that house.”

  Lizette lets out a strangled sob and presses her face harder against my chest. My own eyes are burning as I try to hold back tears. No wonder Dennis is so fucked up. I can’t even begin to imagine the hell this man has been through.

  “I brought her body back to base and was able to ship her back to her family for a proper burial. They said they could never thank me enough for doing that for them. It was two weeks after that when my convoy was attacked and I lost my leg,” he said with finality, and I knew that is where he was ending the story. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you Lizzie, it just…it still hurts too much and I don’t like to think about it.”

  Lizette detaches herself from me and goes to her brother. She sits down on the couch next to him and wraps her arms around his neck. Dennis hugs her back, tucking his face into her neck. I can hear Lizette whispering but I can’t make out what she’s saying, and it’s none of my business, anyway; it’s between her and her brother. I decide to leave them alone. So I get up and go to the bathroom.

  It takes me a moment after flipping on the light for my eyes to adjust. I go over to the sink and run the cold water. I splash some on my face then look at myself in the mirror. My cheek is already starting to bruise as I expected, and there are red marks from Dennis’ fingers on my neck. I suddenly feel extremely fatigued, as if I just ran ten miles and swam another five. My legs feel shaky and I’m kinda dizzy. I quickly dry my face and make my way to Lizette’s bedroom, where I strip down to my underwear and crawl into her bed. I am out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

  *Lizette*

  I still can’t believe that my brother was married and hadn’t told me. I had no idea. I thought that he was just screwed up from being over in Iraq and Afghanistan. I didn’t know of the extent of what he went through because he had always refused to talk about it. The woman he loved had been raped, tortured, and murdered, and he saw the aftermath, actually recovered her body. I hate that this is what my brother has been dealing with every day for the past two years all by himself.

  I left Denny in the living room to go check on Beau. He disappeared after I went to comfort my brother. I find him in my room, in my bed, snuggled up under the comforter, sound asleep. He is no doubt exhausted. He was tired when we walked in, then after being attacked and having all of that adrenaline pump through him, it definitely would have made him crash hard.

  I sit on the bed next to him and lightly stroke the short hair just above his ear. He’s facing toward me, curled up on his side. He looks even younger when he’s asleep. If it weren’t for the scruff on his face, he would look like he’s twelve. My heart aches at the thought that I almost lost him tonight, forever. It’s one thing to break up but still know that person is alive and well, it’s an entirely different thing for that person to be no longer living.

  I almost threw up when Denny pulled the trigger of his gun. I swore Beau’s head was going to explode right in front of me, shot at point blank range. I have never been so terrified in my entire life. Beau had been helpless under Denny’s weight and determination. That had definitely been the worst flashback he’s ever had.

  I sigh and place a kiss on Beau’s temple before going back out into the living room with Denny. The sun is now coming up, pouring light into the living room, so I can see how bad he looks. I’ve never seen my brother look so disheveled. He has always been a clean-cut kind of guy, even before becoming a Marine. He is still sitting on the couch, forearms resting on his knees, as he rubs his hands together. He glances at me for only a second.

  “How is he?” he asks in concern.

  “He’s asleep,” I answer and take a seat next to him.

  Dennis nods. “I’m so sorry, Lizzie. You know how much I like Beau; I would never intentionally hurt him.”

  I place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I know, Denny.”

  “I swear, I’m going to get help and be a better brother to you,” he whispers hoarsely.

  I slip my arm through his to hug his arm and rest my head against his shoulder. “You have always been the best brother, Denny, and you always will be.”

  Dennis kisses the top of my head. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Chapter Nine

  *Beau*

  I wake suddenly when I feel the bed move. I pull in a sharp breath as my eyes fly open. My heart starts pounding madly. I’m about to roll over when Lizette’s soft voice shushes me as her warm naked body presses against my back. Her hand slides over my stomach as she kisses the back of my shoulder. The hand at my stomach slips under the waistband of my underwear to cup my sack and now semi-hard cock. She continues to kiss and nip at the back of my shoulder while working my cock into a steel rod.

  “Mmm, baby, are you sure?” I murmur, rolling onto my back.

  Lizette kisses me softly on the lips. “Yes, I need to feel you inside of me. I need to know you’re a
live,” she whispers, her lips brushing mine.

  I groan, loving the words that just came out of her mouth. I’ve only ever heard her say words like that in my dreams. I roll again, putting myself on top of her. Her legs wind around my waist as her arms go around my neck. I capture her lips in a fervent kiss. I sink one hand into her silky hair while the other finds her breast. She moans low into my mouth when I tweak her nipple with my fingers. I smile and do it again. Lizette gasps and arches under me. I drag my mouth down to her neck. As I lick a line down to her collarbone, I give her nipple a tug, which makes her let out a strangled cry and dig her nails into my back.

  Giving her nipple a rest, I smooth my hand down over her ribs and stomach, turning my hand when I reach her pelvis so that my fingers can find that sweet spot. First, I slip my finger through her folds and delve inside of her, where she is already dripping wet for me. I moan and nip at her collarbone. I can’t help but thrust my finger in and out of her a few times, marveling in how hot and tight she is.

  “Oh god, Beau, I want you…now,” Lizette pleads.

  “Condom?” I ask.

  “Bottom drawer,” she pants and points to the bedside table.

  I push up to my knees and shove my briefs down my thighs before kicking them off. I then lean over the bed and pull open the bottom drawer of the nightstand. I grab the small box, open it, rip off a condom, then toss the box back in the drawer. Fuck shutting the drawer. I straighten up as I tear open the condom and roll it on. I use a hand to position myself at her opening then push forward, gliding inside easily because she is so wet. I stay up on my knees so that I can watch myself enter her. The room is no longer completely dark since the sun is now up and peeking through the curtains. Lizette looks stunning in this light.

  I can feel her watching me so I glance up to meet her gaze. She gives me a tender smile and reaches for me. I go to her, wrapping her up in my arms as I start moving inside of her. She wraps her arms and legs around me, seeming to try to get as close to me as possible.

  “Lizzie,” I moan against her cheek. “You feel so good.”

  Lizette’s answer is to gasp and clutch one of my ass cheeks. I smile down at her. I can’t help it. Knowing that I’m the one undoing her makes me insanely happy. The hand on my ass pulls me deeper on the next thrust in. My smile falls and I bite out a curse. If she keeps that up, I’m definitely not going to last long.

  Our eyes meet and emotion suddenly overwhelms me. Just hours ago, I was on the verge of death and now, here I am, making love to the woman who holds my heart in her hands. I know that if I tell her that I love her that it will most likely scare her away. But what if something else happens? I could get into a car accident tomorrow and die. I have to tell her, even if she doesn’t say it back. That will hurt like hell, but she needs to know how in love with her I am.

  Lizette cries out, breaking through my thoughts. She starts to convulse around me and my rhythm falters. I shove my hands into her hair and kiss her hard, her whole body trembling under me, her thighs clinging tightly to my hips. I groan long and low into her mouth as I come with a final few thrusts. I tuck my face against her neck as we pant and try to come down from our high.

  Her soft hands stroke along the length of my back. “Are you okay?” she whispers.

  “Yeah, why?” I ask, lifting my head so that I can look down at her.

  “There was…just a lot of things going on in your eyes a moment ago,” she says gently, bringing a hand up to cup my face, her thumb stroking my bruised cheek.

  I take a deep breath and prepare for the hurt. “I’m in love with you, Lizzie. I need you to know that,” I murmur.

  She frowns at me, her green eyes turning sad. “I know you are, Beau.”

  I press my lips together and nod. She’s not going to say it back. I knew she wouldn’t, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting like hell. I give her a quick peck on the lips before peeling myself off her. We clean up then get back into bed. I curl up on my side facing away from her; I just need a little bit of space after bearing my heart to her and getting nothing in return. I feel raw and exposed and my heart is just aching. I want so badly for Lizette to love me back, and after what has happened tonight, if she’s not in love with me yet, then she may never be.

  Just as I’m about to fall asleep, she snuggles up behind me, wrapping her arm around me and resting her hand on my chest over my heart. She presses her cheek against my back between my shoulder blades.

  I’m on the verge of dozing off when she whispers, “I’m in love with you, too.”

  I smile wide. I know she only said it because she thinks that I’m sleeping, but I don’t care. She said it. She’s in love with me, too. I feel like jumping up and screaming my joy at the top of my lungs. I won’t do that to her, though. She wants to keep fighting what we have together. I can’t make her stop, either; she has to decide to stop fighting it on her own. The ache in my heart ceases and I fall asleep with a grin on my face.

  *Lizette*

  I wake up to an empty bed. I stretch and yawn before I get out of bed and get dressed. I pad down the hall and into the living room where Beau is sitting on the couch in just a pair of sweatpants, drinking a cup of coffee. He glances up as I walk in and gives me a small smile.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hi, is Dennis in his room?” I ask since I don’t see him in the kitchen.

  Beau shakes his head and holds out a piece of paper that is sitting next to him on the couch. I move forward and take it. I scan over the short note scrawled in my brother’s handwriting.

  Lizzie,

  I’m taking myself to the VA. I no longer want to be a burden to you and this is something that I need to do on my own anyway. I promise I will call you as soon as I get checked out. I love you.

  Dennis

  I sigh. I had a feeling that he was going to do something like this. I plop down on the couch next to Beau, setting the note in my lap.

  “You okay?” he asks, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. I just hate not knowing what is going on and if he’s okay,” I reply, resting my head on his shoulder.

  Beau makes a noise of agreement and sips his coffee.

  “I’m gonna go take a shower, and then I have to go into the office and get some stuff done. What are you going to do?” I ask.

  “Do you mind if I hang out here? I was hoping to make you dinner tonight,” he says, looking over at me.

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “You cook?” I ask, shocked.

  “I make a mean grilled chicken salad,” Beau smirks. “Especially if the chicken is already cooked.”

  I laugh. “Sounds great.”

  Beau leans in and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. “Need some help in the shower?” He whispers huskily.

  I bite my bottom lip, debating. “No, I’ll never get out of here if you get in the shower with me.”

  “I can be good.”

  “I’m not so sure that I can, though.” I snicker, making Beau laugh.

  I give him another kiss before getting up. He gives my ass a swat as I walk away. I glare at him over my shoulder making him chuckle some more. I smile. I love his laugh. I could listen to it all day. He has that kind of laugh that makes everyone else around him want to laugh, too.

  This morning, when Beau told me that he’s in love with me, I didn’t know what to do or think. He had caught me off guard. It isn’t exactly news to me, I know that he loves me; it’s in his eyes every time he looks at me. What I didn’t expect was the realization that I’m in love with him, too. It killed me to see the hurt in his eyes when I didn’t say it back. I didn’t want to fall in love with him, especially because I am going to be breaking up with him at the end of our month together. I will not be telling him I love him either, unless he is sleeping and can’t hear me. It will only make it that much worse when I end things. After taking a shower, I get dressed and give Beau one more kiss before heading out the door to go to work.

  An hour a
fter I arrive at my desk, I get a call from Dennis. Danielle, my assistant, patches him through to my phone.

  “Dennis, are you okay?” I answer in concern.

  “I’m fine, Lizzie, don’t worry,” he assures me.

  “Have you talked to a doctor yet? What did they say? How long are you staying? Is there anything I can do? Do they need to talk to me?” I ask in a rush, there so many questions running through my mind right now.

  “Whoa, slow down, Lizzie. They are going to admit me and keep me here for a couple of weeks for some more testing and to start treatment. And no, they don’t need to talk to you,” Dennis replies gently.

  “Right, okay…that’s good…really good, Denny. I’m glad that you’re doing this,” I say softly.