Black Listed

by Shelly Bell

  A loud bang tore through the car, the noise reverberating in her ears.

  “Get down!” she shouted. On instinct, she ducked, expecting the glass of the windows to shatter, her entire body trembling and her heart racing as if she’d just finished a marathon.

  Was someone shooting at them? Was Chad Winters trying to kill them?

  Sawyer’s hand came down on her shoulder, rubbing it reassuringly. “It’s okay,” he said in a soothing tone. “It was a car backfiring.”

  She covered her face with her hands. Realizing she’d been holding her breath, she exhaled.

  He undid her seat belt and angled her knees toward him. “Hey. Are you sure you want to do this with me? I can take you back to the hotel. Talk to him on my own.”

  The coward in her wanted to do just that. To slink away and hide behind the locked door of the penthouse suite at the hotel. To never have to come face-to-face with her shameful past.

  But she wouldn’t. It was time to confront her past, and the only way to do it was to stand strong in the present. If Chad called the cops on her, she’d accept it. This was her chance to apologize for her crimes and to make reparations. Of course, if he was behind the break-in and the attempt on their lives, she’d make certain she wasn’t the only one going to prison.

  “I’m good,” she said with a brisk nod. Even though her heart was still in her throat, she sat up, threw open the car door, and stuck one leg outside. “Let’s go.”

  She could tell from the narrowing of his eyes that he didn’t believe her. But to his credit, he didn’t say anything. Merely got out of the car and strolled around it to take her hand, giving her a gentle squeeze that served as a reminder that they were in this together.

  A dog barked from inside the trailer, and judging by the sound of it, the dog was a large one. She rubbed her sweaty palm on the side of her jeans and prayed that when Chad opened the door, she’d discover a poodle with a bark stronger than its bite, rather than the Doberman she was picturing in her mind.

  They cut across the tall wild grass toward the front door and climbed the broken steps. Sawyer didn’t let go of her hand as he knocked firmly with his other.

  A man’s voice from inside yelled at the dog, his footsteps approaching the door. The door creaked open, the chain lock still on. “If you’re here to save my eternal soul, you might as well get your asses off my property now, ’cause I’m not in the mood to be saved and my dog’s not the nicest of beasts.”

  She couldn’t see all of him, but the voice was familiar, as was the visible ginger beard. Now she remembered him. Remembered him as a shy and extremely trusting man whose wife of thirty years, his high-school sweetheart, had left him for another man. A successful heart surgeon, he’d been a bit of a science-fiction geek, and they’d spent most of their time going to comic-book conventions. The other time was spent in bed, where she’d helped convince him his ex-wife definitely hadn’t left him because of a lack of sexual prowess.

  Staring at him now, she couldn’t reconcile the man in the trailer with the man she knew. But when his gaze focused in on her and rage flashed within his eyes, she knew without a doubt he recognized her.

  The door slammed shut only long enough for Chad to remove the chain from it, and then it opened wide, allowing the scary-looking pit bull to poke his head outside and snarl at them. She held her breath and froze in fear, waiting for him to attack.

  “Chewy, sit,” ordered Chad. Surprisingly, the spastic dog listened. Chad stepped out onto the porch and shut the door, leaving the well-behaved dog inside. “What are you doing here, Lana? Or should I call you Lisa Smith?” he spit out.

  He’d definitely seen the photo from the newspaper.

  She spoke quietly in an effort to calm him. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry for what I did to you, Chad.”

  “Sorry isn’t going to get my retirement savings back, now is it?” His lips twisted into a sneer. He was nothing like the man she remembered. Not that she blamed him. “What are you doing here?”

  She glanced at Sawyer. He squeezed her hand, giving her the strength she needed. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

  “Really?” Chad asked, folding his arms across his chest and smiling. “Do tell. I love a good story.”

  “Our car’s brakes were cut,” she said, not offering any additional information.

  Chad raised a brow. “And you immediately thought of me, huh? I’m honored.”

  “No,” she admitted. “You’re only one in a handful of possibilities.”

  His eyes narrowed as if he was angry that he wasn’t unique. “Ah, of course.” He turned to Sawyer. “So who’s this? Your bodyguard?”

  Sawyer dropped her hand and took a menacing step closer to Chad. “I’m her husband, and you’re starting to piss me off. So answer a few questions for us. Do you know anything about those brakes?”

  “I’m sure Lana—I mean Lisa—could tell you, I know nothing about cars. I’m more interested in taking apart a human, rather than a motor.” He tapped a couple fingers on his forehead. “Although, I suppose I could have learned. I mean, I was one of the top heart surgeons in the country at one time. If I could carve into the chest of a living human and hold their beating heart in my hand, it wouldn’t have been too difficult to study up on the mechanics of a vehicle, right?”

  Sawyer grabbed the collar of Chad’s shirt, yanking him forward. “Just answer the fucking question, Winters, before I pull out your heart and feed it to your psycho dog.”

  Worried Sawyer would push Chad to call the cops on them, she set a hand on his shoulder. “Sawyer,” she said softly.

  He turned his head, his hard gaze going soft as it landed on her. Stepping away from the other man, he released his grip, causing Chad to fall back into the wall of his trailer.

  Using the back of his hand, Chad wiped the sweat that had formed above his brows. “I have no knowledge about your brakes.”

  “Where were you yesterday afternoon?” Sawyer asked.

  Chad answered quickly. Too quickly. “Here.”

  Sawyer noticed. “Anyone who could confirm it?”

  “Everybody who knows me,” Chad said, spreading his arms out wide. “This is as far as I ever get from my home.”

  The meaning behind his statement slowly penetrated.

  Sawyer cocked his head. “You’re agoraphobic?”

  “But you loved to travel,” she said, remembering the train rides they’d spent laughing and kissing. “We went all over the country to those Comic-Cons.”

  “Everything turned to shit after you stole my savings,” Chad said, the accusation in his voice. “I hired a prostitute who gave me the clap. I got sued after a patient died on my table. The hospital fired me. I discovered my ex-wife had been cheating on me throughout our entire relationship. And when I lost my temper at the New York Comic-Con and punched out the guy dressed up as Jar Jar Binks, I got banned from every major comic book convention in North America. I guess you could say I had a nervous breakdown. I bought this trailer and decided until my luck turned around, I wasn’t leaving.”

  “How’d that work out for you?” Sawyer quipped.

  Chad glared at Sawyer. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

  “You do realize you can’t blame her for all of that, don’t you?” Sawyer pointed out.

  Chad’s shoulders sagged as he turned to her. “I was angry for a long time at both you and my ex-wife. Then when I saw you in the newspaper, it all boiled over. I went a little crazy for a couple of weeks.” He put hands out in front of him. “But I’m better now. I still hate you. Don’t get me wrong. And if I got word that you died, I can’t say I wouldn’t throw myself a party to celebrate. But I didn’t cut your brakes.”

  No matter what Sawyer said, she was responsible for his breakdown. Or at least, she’d played a huge part in it. Her actions had consequences. She’d taken a broken man and had twisted the protruding knife left by his wife deeper into his back. If she had to spend the rest of her life doin
g it, she’d find a way to right the wrongs and make it up to all of them. Each and every person on that black list.

  Sawyer reached into his pocket and handed Chad something that looked awfully similar to a check. “Here.”

  “What is this?” Chad asked as he took it.

  Sawyer’s arm banded around her waist. “It’s a check for five million dollars. Cash it. Give it to charity. I don’t give a fuck. But you forget you ever knew her, you got me?”

  It was as if Sawyer had read her mind. His gesture overwhelmed her, tears of gratitude welling in her eyes. Yes, it was payment to buy Chad’s silence, but for her, it was so much more. It freed her from the chains of guilt that burdened her. But although he had the money to do it, she wouldn’t allow him to pay off everyone she’d hurt. Somehow, someway, it had to come from her.

  “Yeah. Yeah,” Chad said, nodding as he stared in wonder at his check. “I won’t breathe a word. We’re square.”

  “I hope someday you can forgive me,” she said, relieved at the feeling of closure. Perhaps this would allow him to move on with his life, as well.

  “Well, this check certainly helps,” Chad said, waving it in front of his face. “Maybe my luck is finally turning around.”

  She gave him a small smile. “I hope so.”

  He rubbed his hand over his messy hair, his visible excitement over the check suddenly dimming. “Shit, now I feel really bad. I suppose I should come clean. I honestly didn’t do anything to your brakes, but it’s possible I know who did.” Sighing, he folded the check and stuck it in his back pocket.

  He looked directly at her. “I hired a hit man to kill you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  SAWYER’S FIST FLEW so fast, she had no chance of stopping him. Taking a hit to the jaw, Chad sailed backward, smacking his head on the trailer. Sawyer’s eyes were murderous as he advanced with his fist raised, about to punch Chad again.

  “Sawyer! Don’t!” Even knowing it was dangerous, she placed herself between the men. Not because she cared about protecting Chad. No, he deserved everything Sawyer gave to him and more. She did it because she was afraid Sawyer would kill him.

  Chad curled into himself, his arms protecting his head. “I’m sorry. It was a momentary lapse in judgment.”

  Still dark with the threat of violence in them, Sawyer’s eyes lasered in on her. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his nostrils flared. Slowly, the anger bled out of him enough for him to regain control. Once he calmed down, she moved aside, allowing him to continue his questioning.

  “How could you even afford to hire a hit man?” he asked.

  Chad unfurled himself, his hand going to his swollen jaw. “Are you kidding? These days, you can find someone to off someone for a couple hundred bucks. It depends on the level of skill you want. I figured some gangbanger was as good as the next guy.”

  “Someone was going to kill me for two hundred dollars?” She wasn’t sure if she was more mortified that he’d hired a hit man or that it had only cost him a couple of hundred dollars to do it.

  He shrugged, appearing sheepish. “I got a special rate. Two for one. He was going to kill my ex-wife, too. I would have had him kill the bitch who gave me the STD, but I didn’t get her name.”

  Nausea swept through her. Had he always been this demented? How could she have missed it?

  “You don’t leave this house,” Sawyer said. “How’d you find the guy?

  Chad swallowed hard. “On the web. I read about some site where you could place an ad for a hit man and name your price. I didn’t really think it was real, you know? But there it was, out there in cyberspace, where anyone could find it. At first I thought it was some kind of entrapment set up by the Feds, but I figured, why not? What did I have to lose at that point? So I placed the ad, and wouldn’t you know it, got three offers the first day.”

  “What’s his name?” Sawyer asked.

  “I never got it.”

  Sawyer shook his head. “You paid him?”

  “Yeah. Anonymous wire transfer. I only got the routing number and bank account. Not his name.”

  “Give it to me.”

  Fear crept into Chad’s eyes. “I don’t have it anymore.”

  “E-mails? Anything?” Sawyer’s jaw ticked.

  “I got rid of any record I had when I changed my mind.” Chad took a step toward his door, as if thinking about bolting. “I thought the cops could track that info, you know?”

  She put a hand on Sawyer’s chest. Maybe they could get more from Chad if she asked the questions. “How’d you terminate the agreement?”

  “We communicated through the website. I wrote him and told him it was off. Asked him for my money back.”

  His money. That was his concern?

  She suppressed her urge to punch the guy herself. “And what was his response?”

  “I didn’t get one. I figured he didn’t write me back because he didn’t want to return the money.” Chad must have realized he was barking up the wrong tree and angled toward Sawyer. “Hey, it’s not my fault if he didn’t get it. I tried, you know? You’re not going to stop payment on the check, are you?”

  Sawyer remained calm, his burning anger having turned glacial. “If she dies, I’ll not only stop payment, I’ll make sure you die a slow, painful death. You get me?”

  Chad swallowed hard. “I get you.” He scurried into his house, engaging the locks on his doors.

  Obviously, they didn’t have to worry about Chad going to the cops. Not unless he wanted to go to prison for a long time.

  She followed Sawyer as he stomped to the car. He didn’t say anything, but the rage coming off him was palpable. As soon as she got her seat belt on, he gunned it out of the trailer park, a cloud of dirt kicking up behind them.

  One of her biggest fears had been realized. Sawyer wouldn’t even look at her. Seeing how she’d contributed to the ruin of Chad Winters’s life had changed his feelings for her.

  A gnawing ache settled in the middle of her chest. Trying to act as if she wasn’t dying inside, she decided to talk about what they’d do next to find the person who’d attempted to kill them. “Do you think the guy he hired is behind my condo and the car?”

  He gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles had turned white. “I’m not sure. My gut tells me it was personal for whoever destroyed your condo, and it’s not the kind of thing a hit man would’ve done. The car is another story.”

  The ache spread, invading her stomach. “So you’re saying there’s a possibility that the things were unrelated?”

  Still not looking at her, he lifted his cell from the center console, dialed, and put it to his ear. “We can’t rule it out.” He paused, waiting for the person on the other end to pick up. “Oz, did you get access to Winters’s bank account?”

  Wishing she could listen in on the conversation, she watched Sawyer’s face, hoping the news on the other end would result in a smile.

  His lips remained tight. “I need you to find a wire transfer that went to a hit man he hired in the amount of two hundred.” He grimaced. “No, man, the fucker only paid two hundred dollars total. Trace the account, and call me with the name and address.”

  He hung up, not bothering to give her the details of what he had planned. Fury continued to emanate from him as they drove in silence.

  Even though the ache had now infiltrated her entire body, she refused to cry. If he was done with her, then there was nothing she could do or say to change his mind. She’d known before their weeklong affair began that it would end. She was no worse off than she’d been before he walked back into her life.

  She still had her friends. Her career. Her condo. And now that her brother had returned, she had a family again. So, she might never have children of her own. She was an aunt. She’d just spoil Asa’s kids.

  She’d survive without Sawyer.

  She didn’t have a choice.

  Staring out the window to keep herself from crying, she noticed they were on the wrong highway. “
Where are you going? This isn’t the way to the hotel.”

  “No. It’s not. We’re going to Benediction.” Finally, he looked at her. “You good with that?”

  Hell yes, she was good with that. Maybe she’d been wrong, and his anger had nothing to do with her. Maybe he needed some time to cool off. The ache she’d been feeling receded, only to be replaced by a much more pleasurable one.

  But could she go to Benediction knowing there was a good chance she’d run into her friends?

  Except for certain events, Benediction was a members-only club, and from what she’d learned from Danielle, an application, health screening, training, and an interview were necessary to become a member.

  “I’m not sure if you’re aware, since it was open for the wedding the other night, but Benediction is a members-only club.”

  “Logan invited us,” he said. “Apparently, your friend Gracie is in charge of the place while Cole is on his honeymoon, so he didn’t think it would be a problem. I spoke with him this morning and set it up.”

  Gracie was probably ecstatic that she and Sawyer were coming to the club. But it also meant having to endure a horde of questions from her friend, questions she wasn’t sure she even had an answer to.

  Sawyer’s gaze briefly fell to her lips before returning to the road. “You up for role play?

  Her inner thighs tingled. “Yes.”

  A small smile tugged at his lips. “Good. Logan reserved a fantasy room for us. I’m not up for gentle tonight. Remember to use your safe word if you need it. Otherwise, expect rough and intense.”

  The tingles shot from her thighs to her pussy. “More intense than last night?”

  “Last night doesn’t even come close to what I’ve got planned for you,” he said darkly.

  She shifted in her seat to ease the budding arousal. What could be more intense than fisting?

  The ride to Benediction seemed to take hours, even though only thirty minutes ticked by on the car’s clock before they pulled up to the gate at the front of the club’s driveway. After they identified themselves through an intercom, the gate opened, and they proceeded up to the house, passing the beautiful trees with leaves that were just beginning to change to a seasonal orange and yellow.