Black Listed

by Shelly Bell

“I wouldn’t let him drive, Annaliese.” He clenched his jaw, rubbing his hand over it. “He’d had a couple of drinks with dinner, and he was so angry, I worried he’d give himself a coronary. I actually said that to him. Joked about him killing us all while he drove us home. So I took the car keys. And I drove us home. Or at least, that was the plan.”

  “What happened?” she asked softly.

  He blinked a few times in succession, as if fighting back tears. “We were still fighting. Mom was in the passenger seat, Dad in the back yelling at me. He reminded me I was the sole heir to Hayes Industries. He expected me to run the entire company one day. I turned my head to say I’d no intention of ever working at Hayes Industries when an SUV coming from the opposite direction clipped our car. Dad wasn’t wearing a seat belt. He was ejected from the car. Mom’s head hit the dashboard. She died upon impact.”

  She laid her hand on his cheek. “How did you survive?”

  “Sheer luck,” he huffed. “I fucking walked out of the car on my own two legs. A couple of scratches. A broken arm. But otherwise, unharmed.”

  She held him tightly. “Poor baby.”

  Pushing her away, he looked at her, horrified. “Poor baby. Poor baby? I killed my parents.”

  That’s what he believed? “You didn’t kill them. It was an accident.”

  He lifted her off his lap and got to his feet, pulling up his pants and zipping them. “If I hadn’t been driving, Dad would’ve been in the driver’s seat. I would’ve been in the passenger’s. Mom would’ve been in the back with her seat belt on. Don’t you see? The accident wouldn’t have happened, and even if it had, they would’ve lived. I would’ve been the only one to die that night.”

  She stood and placed her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t know that. There’s a thousand different scenarios of how that night could’ve played out, and in every one, the outcome might have been the same. We don’t have control over who gets to live or die.”

  Sawyer tore away from her and paced the room. “I couldn’t let them die in vain. My family’s lawyers kept my part in the accident out of the press, but it’s there in the official police report. But it didn’t matter. The media became fixated on exposing the youngest billionaire in the world. They followed me everywhere.” He turned to her and ran his fingers through his hair. “I couldn’t escape the guilt. The attorneys suggested I go somewhere and lie low while I learned the business. I’m sure I shocked the hell out of them by joining the Army, rather than staying at my folks’ vacation house in Aruba.”

  “Why the Army? Was that something you’d thought about doing before they died?”

  His gaze fell to his feet. “I had a lot to atone for. I thought if I did some good, maybe then I wouldn’t feel so fucking guilty.”

  “And did it work?”

  His brows snapped together as he pondered it. “The Army gave me a new family. Logan, Oz, Hunter, and Rowan are my band of brothers. And there was always something to do. Someone to talk to.” He shook his head. “But no, the guilt never left. So when I got out, I got my shit together and took over Hayes Industries as CEO. I owed it to my parents after killing them.”

  He didn’t know how fortunate he’d been to have two parents who had genuinely loved him. She would’ve given anything to have had that herself.

  Her parents should’ve never had kids. They’d had nothing to give to them but lessons on how to steal and cheat their way through life. At least Asa had gotten a bit of affection from their Mom. But it was as if once she’d given it, she’d run out of her limited supply and had been incapable of giving it to anyone else.

  If Lisa had kids, she’d not only tell them every day how much she loved them, she’d show them.

  “I think you’re admirable for sacrificing your dreams for your father’s,” she said. “But he wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”

  Proving she was starting to get to him, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t you hear what I told you?”

  “Yes.” She hooked her arms around his neck. “I heard you tell me about a terrible night when a young kid got into an argument with his father. I also heard the love in your voice. Sawyer, they loved you, too. The unconditional kind that children deserve from their parents. He would’ve come around because he loved you and wanted your happiness. Maybe you would’ve compromised. Or maybe your father would’ve realized that he didn’t own your dreams. But I do know this. Your parents wouldn’t want you running a company if it made you miserable. Because when you love someone unconditionally, you’ll sacrifice your own happiness for theirs. He would’ve done that for you. And he would’ve been proud of whatever you did decide to do with your life.”

  He was quiet a long time, indecision warring in his eyes. When her words finally sunk into his stubborn mind, his hands left the safety of his pockets and his arms came around her.

  She didn’t say anything, waiting for him to speak.

  “You certainly know a lot about unconditional love and sacrifice,” he said, sensing she hadn’t been solely referring to his parents. He took a step backward, grasping both her hands in his. “Now that I’ve told you my secrets, are you ready to share yours?”

  Lisa looked up at her husband, a man with personal demons as dark as her own, and realized her father had been wrong.

  Trusting Sawyer wouldn’t blow up in her face.

  Her father had controlled her with fear.

  Well, fear was the opposite of trust, and it had ruled her life for far too long. Fear had kept her and Sawyer apart. It was time to fight back against it and embrace a world where she trusted those she loved. People like her friends and their husbands. People like her Master.

  But her secrets didn’t belong to her alone anymore. Maybe they never did. Her parents had made certain they entangled their children in their destructive web, never intending for them to free themselves. She and Asa had escaped, running as far as they could, only to discover they hadn’t severed all the ties that bound them to the past and one another.

  Would Asa help her cut that last remaining thread? If he didn’t, if he asked her to keep it all a secret, she would have to make the impossible choice between her brother and her husband. She prayed that wouldn’t happen.

  She rested her head on his heart, letting his strong beat give her the power she needed to reveal the truth to him. “Before I tell you everything, I’d like to go see my brother at his hotel.”

  He caressed his hand down her back soothingly. “The reason you won’t tell me. It has something to do with him, doesn’t it?”

  She sighed against him, not ready to leave his arms or Benediction. “Your secrets were tied to your family. Does it surprise you mine are as well?”

  “No.” He kissed the top of her head. “After what you told me about your parents, I’m not surprised. It’s painted a picture of what it must have been like for you to survive all those years.”

  “So you understand why I need to go see Asa.”

  “I think I do. Text him and let him know we’ll come by in the morning.”

  It wasn’t something she could do with Sawyer by her side. He’d already gotten into a pissing match with her brother at her office. She didn’t want to take the risk that Sawyer would somehow offend her brother again.

  She moved out of his arms, hating to break their connection but knowing it was necessary to prove her independence. “No. I need to go without you.”

  His lips pressed together. “It’s not safe.”

  No, it wasn’t. But even if she and Sawyer wore bulletproof vests and stayed inside their locked hotel room, they weren’t safe. And they wouldn’t be until they found and stopped that person who was responsible for cutting their brakes. Still, she didn’t bother saying that to Sawyer.

  “Asa will protect me.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I’m still not one hundred percent sold on his innocence.”

  She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Well, that’s too bad then, because it doesn’t matter. I’m going
to see him whether you like it or not.”

  He took her by the arm. “I don’t like it. But I won’t stop you. I’ll take you there and stay in the hotel lobby.”

  She squeezed her eyes closed, knowing what she was about to say would upset him and regretting that she had to say it. But she couldn’t tell him she was planning on giving the black list to Asa.

  “No. I want to go by myself. I need some space, Sawyer.”

  “Some space from me,” he said harshly.

  “I’m not running from you or trying to push you away, but I need time to think. I’m not used to having someone hovering day and night. And there are things I can’t talk about with you that I can with my brother.”

  His eyes softened. “About your past.”

  “About my past. The present. My future.” She couldn’t talk about it with her friends or Sawyer. Going by what Asa had confided in her about Thea, she knew he’d understand and help her make the right decisions for all of them. At least, that’s what she was hoping. “I want to share it with you, but until I work it all out in my head, I won’t be able to.”

  “And you think your brother can help you do that?”

  “I think if anyone can, it’s him.”

  He sighed, nodding. “Fine. I’ll take you to your car, and if everything on it checks out okay, you can drive yourself to see your brother. But I want you to text me when you get there and when you leave.”

  She swallowed nervously. Would he ask about the inevitable lapse between the time he dropped her at her car and the time she arrived at her brother’s hotel? “I will. What are you going to do?”

  His gaze sharpened on her as if he’d caught on to her anxiety, but he didn’t mention it to her. “I’m going to call work and put out the dozen fires that are burning and then see if I can’t track down the hit man Winters hired. I spoke with Oz tonight while you were with your friends getting ready. He got a lead on our hired assassin.”

  Irritated, she bit her lip to keep from saying something she’d regret. “And you waited to tell me about it until now?” Of course he did. He’s a man and wanted to get laid first. “What did he find out?”

  “Guy’s name is Jeff Marshall. He’s from Detroit. No bank account. The wire from Chad was actually a cash pickup, wired to a check-cashing store in Detroit. Rowan managed to hack into their records to get Marshall’s information. Unfortunately, the address he gave was bogus. He’s got priors for assault, armed robbery, and drug possession.”

  Sounded like Chad had picked a winner. She could only imagine what kind of person would kill for a couple hundred bucks. “Should we be glad he doesn’t have any priors for murder?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

  She hadn’t fooled him. His expression grew somber as he gathered her back into his arms and held her tightly. “I think we’re facing an unknown. Whether he’s our guy or not, you cannot let your guard down until we find out. But I won’t let him hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He tipped her head back, his eyes dark with the solemnity of his vow. “Trust me.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  HE LOOKED THROUGH the telescope poking out of the trailer’s window and watched her walk out the front door of the mansion that housed a fucking sex club. He hadn’t realized that’s what it was the first night he’d spied on her at the wedding. But he’d scouted it out since then and seen all sorts of deviants coming in and out of there at all hours of the night.

  He should have known that Hayes would sink his kinky claws into her. She was too easily manipulated.

  She’d thought she’d beaten him, but no one got away with besting him. He’d teach her in the long run.

  He always did.

  His head pounded, the beat like a drum inside his brain, and the voices chanted their scheme. It was almost finished. She’d be so proud. He’d built it with his own two hands. She’d thought him worthless. Stupid. Lazy. She’d tried to con the master.

  But he’d shown her.

  And then she’d shown him.

  Now he would get the last word.

  His gaze traveled to the table in the middle of the trailer where his salvation waited. Soon.

  Soon he would be with her.

  Just a couple more steps to accomplish before she returned to his arms.

  He lifted her shirt to his nose, remembering her sweet scent. Why had she forsaken him? She’d lain in the grass with her flesh, their limbs entangled in spent passion. And her lover had seen him watching. Had smiled at him knowingly but remained silent, getting hard against her leg as he’d suckled from the pig.

  Filth.

  Trash.

  Sinners.

  He’d loved her so much. Everything he’d done was for her. Money was inconsequential because he gave her something she couldn’t get from him. Or maybe the little fucker had figured it out and had given her the ultimate rush.

  The voices got louder, excited by the thoughts of blood and sex. They wouldn’t lie together in this lifetime, but they’d find plenty of time for that in the next. Then he’d remind her of what it was like to have a real man between her legs.

  His time on earth was growing short, shorter than the voices squeezing on his brain would give him. Soon all the pain and guilt would ease and his head would go silent. The voices didn’t like that, they moaned and screamed in defiance. He didn’t care. Let them throw their tantrum. There was nothing they could do to stop him. No one could.

  If he had his way, Hayes wouldn’t be a problem for much longer. The plan was in motion, and all he had to do was sit back and wait.

  Wait for his world to go boom.

  Chapter Nineteen

  LISA WAVED AT Sawyer as she slid into the driver’s seat of her car. He’d already checked her car out to make sure it was safe to drive. She’d take a guess that he’d be doing that to every car they drove for a long while, even after this mess was all over.

  Assuming they’d be together.

  Last night, he’d learned the worst of it. She’d seduced her way into more than a dozen beds during her grifter days. No, she wasn’t a whore. At least a client got what he paid for with a whore. What she’d been was much, much worse.

  Sawyer thankfully didn’t see it that way. And once they’d returned to his hotel suite, he’d proven it to her again and again, making love to her throughout the night and again this morning. He’d been voracious for her, and extremely thorough, making sure there wasn’t a spot on her body he didn’t kiss, lick, suck, or fuck. Every move she made today reminded her of him in some way.

  Her clitoris was raw, her mouth and lips bruised, her ass sore, and her pussy tender from all the attention he’d given them with his tongue, his teeth, his fingers, and his cock. He’d taken her in every room of that hotel suite and had shown her just how creative he could get in the kitchen. Who knew all those utensils could be used for purposes other than cooking? She’d never look at a spatula or a turkey baster in the same way again.

  Giving her the ultimate pleasure and filling all her holes simultaneously, he’d plugged her ass and fucked her pussy while she sucked on a dildo, forcing her to climax over and over until she’d passed out cold from the pleasure. He’d allowed her a couple hours of sleep and then had woken her by putting her on her hands and knees, removing the plug, and replacing it with his cock. Her eyes had barely been open when he fingered her to an explosive orgasm and spent his release all over her back. Rather than clean it, he’d rubbed it into her skin, marking her.

  For some reason, even knowing the truth, he still loved her. It gave her hope that she might find her happiness with him after all.

  But before she could tell him the rest of it, she had to lie to him a little longer. She headed toward Asa’s hotel, waiting until the highway split and Sawyer no longer had her in his sights before she got off and turned around to go to her office.

  Guilt nagged at her conscience, but she had no choice. If she’d told him she had to stop by her office, he would’ve been suspicious or, even worse, wou
ld’ve come with her. There was only one way to convince Asa to trust Sawyer.

  She had to give him the black list. Then he could decide whether to hang onto it or destroy it. Either way, it would be out of her hands. She was tired of the burden that went along with having it in her possession. The list had too much power. It was a curse. As long as she had it, she’d never be free of all it represented.

  Lies.

  Violence.

  Fear.

  Once she stopped by the office and retrieved it, she’d go straight to Asa’s.

  Soon, the past’s hold on her would end, and she could move on with her life—a life that hopefully included Sawyer in it.

  Her hands shook as she parked in the lot across from her office, half from nervousness and half from the excitement of beginning a new chapter in her life. Before they’d parted ways that morning, Sawyer had told her he had big plans for her when she returned back at the suite. While her body should’ve been sated by now, that announcement, along with the naughty glimmer in his eyes as he said it, had made her pussy wet and swollen all over again. It was as if she and Sawyer were making up for lost time and trying to cram several years into a single week.

  She walked across the street to the small one-story building that held her office and two others, one leased by a psychologist who saw patients there a few times a week and the other by an accountant who seemed to only use it around tax season. It was the perfect spot for her, since both she and a handful of her clients preferred the privacy the residential location afforded.

  Until two days ago, she’d never run into a single problem here, as the neighborhood was almost completely free of crime. That’s why despite Sawyer’s warning about not lowering her guard, she wasn’t worried when she unlocked her office door and stepped inside, noticing immediately that the air felt hotter than normal.

  The putrid smell tinged with sulphur was her second clue that something wasn’t right. It smacked into her, making her gag and causing her eyes to water.

  It smelled like she imagined hell would.

  Her gaze took in the destruction of her office, her files torn, paper crumpled, her drawers left open as if someone had rifled through them. Her heart plummeted to her feet as she snapped her gaze to the shelf where her books should be.