Maple Sugar Crush

by Beth Labonte

  “No,” said Artie, glancing up at me. “He’s all yours.”

  He’s all yours. With Artie and my mom here, I wasn’t as freaked out as I normally was about wandering around the funeral home. Instead of fear, my stomach filled with butterflies as I walked toward Riley’s office. I knocked gently on the open door.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Oh, hey,” he said, looking up from the yellow legal pad he’d been writing on. His eyes widened at the bulge in my coat. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

  I laughed as I stepped into his office and closed the door, letting Pixie out of my coat.

  “Stay quiet, please.”

  She ran over and curled up beside Riley’s space heater. I took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of his desk, looking over the bookcase behind him. It was mostly filled with legal books and books on advance funeral planning. He also had his framed diploma from UNH, a Halloween skeleton holding a sign that said Out to Lunch, several Funko Pop figures—Jay and Silent Bob, The Crow—and a completed Lego Batmobile. On his desk, just behind the keyboard, was the little Pikachu figure I’d given to him as joke when he moved to Summerboro. Pikachu in sunglasses, sitting on a beach chair, festive pink drink in hand.

  “So,” I said, my eyes back on Riley’s face. He leaned over to switch off his space heater, before remembering that Pixie was enjoying it.

  “So,” he repeated, sitting back up and tapping his fingers nervously on his phone screen. “What’s up?”

  “My mom’s out there showing Artie how to use QuickBooks,” I said, tilting my head toward the front office. “I have no idea what came over her, but she actually looked excited about it. My dad’s over at the newspaper office talking Lee into becoming a teacher. He looked pretty excited too, and I’m taking full credit for that one. The rest of my family is taking Granny over to Grayson’s for lunch. Uncle Burt says he’s going to beat the turkey challenge.” The Grayson’s Turkey Challenge is when one person eats a ten-pound turkey, down to the bones, in thirty minutes or less. If you succeed, the entire table eats for free. If there’s anybody who can do it, it’s Uncle Burt.

  Riley smiled. “You like having them here.”

  “When my mom’s not on my case about dating, and my relatives aren’t acting like jerks, then yes.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s kind of nice having them here.”

  “How would you feel about getting away from them for a day?” asked Riley. “Like, tomorrow?”

  “What’s going on tomorrow?”

  “There’s this Pokémon Go thing at Santa’s Village. I thought you might want to come.”

  “To Santa’s Village?” I laughed. Santa’s Village was a Christmas-themed amusement park up in Jefferson. They had reindeer roller coasters, and elves, and lots of hot chocolate. Most people didn’t go there unless they were accompanied by a toddler. I hadn’t been since I was a kid.

  “You have a problem with Santa’s Village?”

  “Well, no,” I said, thinking it over. It was actually a pretty fun place, especially at this time of year. Cold, but fun. But a whole day alone with Riley? It had taken all my willpower to break away from him last night on the common. Subjecting myself to an entire day of being drawn together by the need for body heat would be tremendously stupid.

  “I thought it might be good for you to get out of this town for a while.”

  “I get out of this town plenty.”

  “You do not,” he insisted. “You live in this Autumnboro-sized bubble because you’re afraid if you leave your bubble, something might happen to you and your family will go off the deep end after they inherit your money. You told me this yourself.”

  “Okay, well, do you really think that taking me to Santa’s Village is going to help? It’s not exactly the same as flying off to Bora Bora.” Ever since Lee had mentioned those ocean huts, I had to admit they’d been on my mind.

  “You want to go to Bora Bora?” It sounded like more of an offer than a question. His eyes moved down to my lips and I felt queasy.

  “Nope.”

  “Then come with me.” He drummed his fingers on his desk. “It’s more than you would normally do this weekend. Maybe it’ll inspire you to book a trip to Alaska.”

  “Pixie hates the cold.”

  “You know you can leave her home, right? There’s this thing called a kennel...”

  My jaw dropped. “How dare you?”

  Riley smiled. “Come on. I’ll have you back in time to tuck Pixie into bed.”

  I tried to tell myself that he’d be focused on his phone and his game the entire time; but with the sparks jumping across the desk between us, I knew that wasn’t true. He’d been thinking about last night just as much as I had. This whole fake relationship had gotten completely out of hand in a matter of days. Going to Santa’s Village would lead to nothing but heartache. I knew better than to say yes. I wasn’t an idiot.

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll go.”

  Chapter 19

  “This one…or this one?”

  I swapped my white wool beanie with the dusty rose pom-pom for a gray, fur-trimmed bucket hat, before turning around to face Pixie. She barked. She’d also barked when I put on the white one, which wasn’t very helpful. Both good, or both terrible?

  “Let’s play it safe,” I said, taking off the bucket hat and replacing it with a slouchy, burgundy newsboy cap. I arranged my hair over my shoulders, before presenting myself to Pixie. She turned around in a circle, lay down on the bed, and closed her eyes. Perfect!

  I was a bundle of nerves, waiting for Riley to pick me up for Santa’s Village. I tried to play it cool in front of my family (I figured it would seem suspicious if I looked like I was about to throw up, when we’d supposedly been dating for weeks). When Granny took one look at me and asked if I’d eaten something bad for breakfast, I gave up trying to appear calm, retreated to my bedroom, and changed my clothes a million times.

  Finally, he was here, standing at the door in jeans and his black North Face coat, saying hello to my family, handing me a hot pumpkin spice latte that he’d picked up on the way. Then we were in his warm car, inches apart, settling in for the hour-long drive to Jefferson, through mostly wooded and sparsely populated roads. I’d never been in his car before, and as we started our journey in silence I took in every last detail. Pack of gum. Sunglasses. Extra napkins in the passenger door. Who’d put those there? I pictured Catrina Corman and felt a huge wallop of jealousy. Briefcase on the backseat. Loose form on the floor titled “Memorial Service Advance Planning Worksheet.” Inspection sticker due in July.

  I took a sip of my latte and looked over at Riley, soaking up the angles of his face while his eyes were on the road. I watched his fingers on the wheel, the way his thumb tapped along with the radio. I’d tried to put Christmas music on the radio, but he’d said No Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. Scrooge.

  “Got any more questions for me, Moneybags?” he asked, glancing over.

  “Huh?”

  “Like we were doing at The Plaid Apple. You ask, I answer.”

  “Really?” I didn’t want to force him into having a conversation. I was certainly enjoying the drive, and the view. Still, since he’d asked…

  “Really.”

  “Okay.”

  I asked him to tell me more about his gothy high school self, what his college roommates were like, what it had been like coming back to Autumnboro after four years away. Favorite song, favorite color, favorite place to eat at the mall? How did he feel about capuchin monkeys? He told me more about himself on that car ride than he had over the entire summer. Maybe it was the fact he was driving that put him at ease—his eyes focused on the road, rather than me. Whatever it was, I was disappointed when we finally arrived at Santa’s Village. I’d have happily continued straight through to Canada.

  The parking lot was busy. There was a crowd here for the Pokémon Go event, on top of the regular weekend tourists. Children bundled into winter coats and ski pants, weari
ng Santa hats and reindeer antlers, were heading for the gates alongside packs of underdressed teenagers staring at their phones. Riley was clearly in his element, and I could feel the joy radiating off of him as soon as we stepped out of the car.

  “What are you smiling about?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

  “You’re glowing.” I laughed. “Like a pregnant lady.”

  We paid our admission and entered the park, where “Frosty the Snowman” was blasting over the loudspeakers. All the Christmas lights were on and twinkling, despite it being eleven o’clock in the morning. We crossed a set of railroad tracks and then stopped to get our bearings. There was something called Elf University up ahead on the right, and the Jolly Lolly candy store to the left. A gingerbread man skipped by, goofily trying to catch Riley’s attention, but his eyes were already fixed on his phone.

  “Where to?” I asked.

  “This way.” He grabbed me by the hand, and off we went.

  The next couple of hours were a blur of racing around the park, laughing as we dodged crowds of teenagers, and searching for PokéStops. Between stops, I convinced Riley to go on a few rides—The Skyway Sleigh, Rudy’s Rapid Transit Coaster—and he convinced me to feed a real, live, terrifying reindeer (who nearly bit my fingers off). Eventually, we stopped for food at the Burger Meister food court, where we sat for over an hour, just thawing out and talking, before heading back out.

  The sun was starting to get low, and Riley was about to drag me all the way back to the other side of the park, when I held up my hand for him to stop.

  “I need a break!” I said. “I’m freezing! I’m buying us hot chocolate.” I walked over to the nearest drink stand and ordered two big cups with whipped cream. They’d be ice cold in about three minutes.

  “Here,” I said, holding out a cup. Riley put his phone into his pocket and took it.

  “You’re shivering,” he said, eying my cup as it wobbled in my hand. “Maybe we should get out of here.”

  I was shivering, that was true. But I still wasn’t ready for our day to end. Right on cue, Santa’s Express Train came to a stop a few feet away. The train was tiny, and each of its sleigh-shaped seats had a big red and green blanket draped across.

  “Soon,” I said, pointing to the train and heading straight for it. “But first, we’re going on that.”

  We squeezed into a seat near the back, Riley’s knees bumping the seat in front of us.

  “Do you know how many sick kids have used this blanket?” he asked, gingerly lifting a corner of it between two fingers. “It probably has frozen boogers all over it.”

  “Don’t care,” I said. I shook out the blanket and threw it across the both of us, reveling in its warmth. I snuggled in closer to Riley, hopelessly drawn to his body heat. The little voice in the back of my head—the one that would normally be telling me this was a very bad idea—was nowhere to be found. Frozen to death, most likely. A moment later, Riley’s arm was around my shoulders. His other hand was holding the hot chocolate, which meant that his phone was still in his pocket and all of his attention was on me.

  “Better?” he asked, giving me a gentle squeeze.

  “Better.”

  Yes, it was warmer, but now I had a whole new set of problems. I was hyper-aware of every tiny movement I made. Legs and knees touching under the blanket. His chin against my hair. If I turned to the right, my lips would be right against his neck. Bare skin. That jawline. Why are you doing this to yourself? The little voice was back, apparently warmed up enough to start nagging at me again. He’s taking your money and he’s going on vacation. Get a grip. I sighed into my hot chocolate.

  As the train rolled to a stop at Jingle Bell Junction, an elf skipped up to our seat and tried to give Riley a high-five. Riley just shook his head.

  “Scrooge,” I mumbled.

  “Scrooge, huh?” He looked down at me, pretending to be offended.

  I nodded. “You wouldn’t let me play Christmas music in the car, and then you wouldn’t chest bump that snowman by the Ferris wheel.”

  “Okay, well, how about this for a Scrooge…I don’t want your money anymore.”

  I narrowed my eyes and pulled slightly away, trying to get a better look at his face. “What are you talking about?”

  “The money for my trip,” he said, as the train started moving again. “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I realized that I don’t want it anymore. I never should have asked you for it in the first place.” He took his arm off my shoulders and turned as much as he could in the tiny seat, so we could see each other better.

  “Oh,” I said, not quite knowing what to make of this news. “It, um, it wasn’t really the fact that you’d asked for it that upset me, Riley. I would have given it to you in a heartbeat, if you’d just been your normal moody self. But instead, you went and acted like…” I trailed off, shaking my head.

  “I know,” he said, softly. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t know about your history back then. But you have to know by now that it wasn’t an act.”

  My cheeks burned, despite the cold. What was he saying?

  “When you stopped coming by my office over the summer,” he continued, “I noticed. Like, really noticed.”

  “Really?”

  He ran his fingers down the tendrils of hair peeking out from under my hat. “Really.”

  I was frozen to my seat. Literally, yes. But figuratively, too. My chest was tight, my fingers gripping the underside of the seat. There was a lump in my throat and my mouth had gone dry. Half of me wanted to throw myself into his arms, while the other half realized we were riding a train around a children’s amusement park. I slid closer and kissed him on the cheek.

  “You had a crush on me?”

  “Something like that.”

  I smiled. “I had a tiny one, too.”

  “Had?”

  Before I could clarify that as of the current moment, my crush was still majorly active, his lips were on mine. This will not end well, said the tiny voice in the back of my head. I ignored it for a few more minutes, which wasn’t too hard to do. Logical thoughts were in short order at the moment. It wasn’t until one of the teenagers in the park wolf-whistled that I snapped back to reality.

  “Riley, I can’t,” I said, pulling away.

  “We could go back to the car?”

  “No, it’s not the train that’s the problem.” I slid back a few inches across the seat. “It’s this—” I motioned back and forth between us. “It’s us.”

  “I kind of like us.”

  “Okay, not us,” I clarified. “Me. I can’t have a normal relationship like other people. I’ve tried before, and it never…it just doesn’t work out.”

  “You tried once,” he said. “With someone who was a total jerk. I don’t care a thing about your money, Josie. This has nothing to do with that.”

  “But you will care. Someday.”

  “I won’t.”

  I sighed. We could argue this for eternity, when all I wanted to do was get back to kissing. But we couldn’t. As soon as my family went back to Massachusetts, this relationship—whatever it was, real or fake—it had to end. Being dumped by Dean was one thing. Being hurt that way by Riley? I didn’t think I’d ever come back from that.

  “Look,” I said, “I’m going to give you the money for the trip. I want to. You looked so happy when we got here. If anybody deserves the chance to play Pokémon Go around the world, it’s you.”

  Riley smiled and shook his head. “You think I looked happy because of the game? I was happy because I’d just spent an hour alone in a car with you, having an actual conversation without second-guessing every word I said.” He studied my face. “I’m sorry that it took me all summer and a fake relationship to finally relax around you.”

  Tears filled my eyes. All last summer, Riley Parker had had a crush on me.

  “I was sort of hoping,” he continued, “that when I finally got to that point, you’d still be waiting.”

  “You�
��re going on that trip,” I said, swiping at my eyes. “End of story.”

  The train came to a stop at the next station, but we didn’t move.

  “Come with me, then,” said Riley.

  “What?”

  “If you’re insisting that I go on this trip, then come with me. See the world with me. Get some joy out of that money.”

  “Riley, I can’t. I have the store, and Pixie, and…” I trailed off. What I had was a hotel

  room in Australia burned into my memory. Waking up in a foreign country, alone and abandoned. Used. More tears brimmed and spilled down my cheeks.

  “Hey,” said Riley, reaching for my hand. “Look at me. I think you just need a reset. We go on this trip together, and we come home to Autumnboro together. You and me, start to finish. It’s the only way you’ll trust me, and maybe not even then. But at least you can say that you gave it a shot, right?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. I’d finally had enough of the Santa Express and wanted to get off, but it had already started moving again. I could probably jump, since we were moving about one mile per hour, but my feet were too frozen to trust. I just stared at the empty French fry box beneath the seat in front of us.

  “Well, I do know,” said Riley. “I know that you need to talk to your family. Tell them about your fears. Tell them everything that you told me. You can’t just make not dying your one goal in life.”

  “I thought not dying was the ultimate life goal?”

  “I want more than that,” he said, ignoring my attempt at humor. “I want more than that with you.”

  I took a deep breath. I needed this to be clear and firm, even if it broke my heart. This pain was nothing compared to what it would feel like two years from now.

  “Well, that’s not what I want,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I had a crush on you, and you had a crush on me, and now we’ve cleared the air. And, yes, it was very nice while it lasted, but it’s never going to be anything more than that. I’m trying to protect the both of us.”

  “Don’t I get a say in that?”