Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars

by Shannon K. Butcher

  Her fingers settled against his skin, cold and clammy. The dirt caking her stood out in stark contrast to the paleness of his skin. Slowly, so as not to frighten her, Ronan closed his grip and offered her what he hoped was a kind smile.

  All he tried to think about was getting her out, but thoughts of her captivity kept invading, distracting him from his goal. He couldn’t even imagine the things she must have suffered. The fact that she’d trust him enough now to touch him was humbling.

  “Come on,” he said, sliding a bit of power through his words and touch, offering her his warmth and whatever slice of solace she could take from him.

  Ronan tugged her forward and helped her over the corpses littering the area. Drake and Helen had taken care of the remaining demons, but there would be more. Her blood would draw them.

  Without seeming like he was doing it, he shifted his grip to her bleeding wrist and healed the wound shut. It wasn’t deep, and it was a relief for him to be doing something useful for her. Given her current state, he wasn’t sure how much anyone could really do to help her.

  “We need to go,” said Helen. “Those out feeding will be coming back soon and block our exit.”

  They started back the way they’d come, but the woman tugged on his sleeve. “I know a faster way out. Go right up ahead.”

  Drake led the way, and did as the woman said. About a hundred feet down the corridor, it opened up into a large cavern. The sounds of battle rang out from the far side.

  Ronan pressed the woman back, shielding her from sight with his body. Fire flared, blinding him for a moment.

  “Jackie,” breathed Helen. “That’s Jackie over there. With all those demons.”

  Indeed she was, fighting like a woman possessed, clearly heedless of her own safety. Cain was there, too, along with two unconscious bodies—Iain and a young girl.

  The fight wasn’t going well. There were too many of them. Cain was doing his best to keep the demons off both Jackie and the unconscious girl, but it was a losing battle.

  Ronan wanted nothing more than to get the woman clinging to him out of this place, but he knew it would have to wait. Jackie was too valuable to lose, and there was no way Helen was going to leave her sister here to fight the demons by herself.

  They were going to have to fight their way free.

  Chapter 30

  Jackie picked up Iain’s sword and held off any demon who dared come close to him. The small trickle of power flowing into her held Murak in place, preventing him from leaving. The bubble surrounding his body wobbled every time he struck it, but so far, it had held steady.

  Iain was fading. She could feel his heartbeat weaken with every passing second. If she didn’t stop the bleeding, he wasn’t going to make it.

  With a silent apology, she demanded more from Iain, drawing more of his power into herself—just enough to shield her back.

  Without letting go of Murak, she let Iain’s power slide over her, cradling her close and protecting her from attack the way he would have done had he been able.

  She fell to his side and pressed her hands against his bloody chest. The stab wound was deep, so close to his heart, she wasn’t sure whether it had been hit. He was bleeding heavily, telling her that there wasn’t much time.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, then ripped a thick ribbon of energy from him, causing him to groan. She closed her eyes and concentrated on finding the severed blood vessels in order to close them. Her hands slipped on his skin. Heat seared her fingertips, drying the blood beneath them. Iain sucked in a pained breath and his heavy muscles clenched tight.

  The effort was grueling. She felt her cage around Murak falter, and had to let it go—had to let him go. Iain was more important.

  Heat flowed through her. She could feel waves of it rising from Iain’s body, hear the air crackling with it.

  The stream of power began to waver, stuttering as she demanded more from it. The shield at her back fell, exposing her to dozens of demons hungry for Iain’s blood.

  There was nothing she could do. She knew instinctively that if she let go of the small thread of strength she’d managed to hold on to, she’d lose it forever. Iain would be gone. She’d be powerless. Both of them would die.

  If she was going to die, she wanted it to be because she’d given her all to save him, not because she’d given up on him.

  The sound of the demons behind her grew louder, closer.

  They had realized her protection was gone and were closing in.

  Cain fought his way toward Jackie. He couldn’t leave Autumn unprotected, so he had to bring her along, fighting with her slight weight dangling over his shoulder. He told himself it was no different from protecting a brother’s flank, but that was a fat lie.

  Her limbs flopped around with every slice and thrust, forcing him to move carefully so as not to chop off her leg.

  Jackie had stopped helping him kill the demons and instead knelt over Iain. She was trying to save his life. Cain knew that. He would have expected no less of her. But she seemingly had no care for herself or her safety. From the moment she’d dropped Iain’s sword, Cain knew that her life was now in his hands.

  Finally, after what seemed like half a year of combat, he was only a few feet away—close enough to see faint blue sparks flying off her back.

  She was still alive.

  The field holding Murak in place sputtered and then dropped. Cain closed the last few remaining feet toward Jackie, cutting down wave after endless wave of armed Synestryn soldiers and smaller, clawed demons.

  The blue flashes sparking at her back began to fade.

  Her shield was faltering, just as the one around Murak had done.

  Cain was out of options. He lunged sideways, keeping his left side and Autumn out of the reach of swords and claws. His right arm moved with frenzied speed, making his muscles burn in protest.

  A blade was headed right for him. He couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t dodge. It was angled to strike his right arm. He could already see his limb being severed, flying across the space to land as food for demons.

  There was nothing he could do but watch as the blade fell.

  The demon blade struck, but he felt no pain. Bluish sparks scattered in all directions. Half a second later, Drake was at his side, lopping off the legs of the demon who’d nearly ended Cain’s life.

  The girl’s weight lifted from his shoulder. He grabbed for her, but as soon as he felt the faint, welcoming heat of friendly magic surrounding her, he let go.

  Drake was here. So was Helen. She must have been the one to relieve him of his burden.

  “Thanks,” shouted Cain.

  Drake grunted in response, going low to strike while Cain went high. Between them, two more demons fell.

  Two down, another dozen more to go.

  Jackie had managed to stop Iain’s bleeding, but she was too late. He’d lost too much blood.

  His breathing was fast and shallow, his heart fluttering in his chest. Tied to him as closely as she was, she could feel him trying to leave his body.

  She couldn’t let go. She loved him. She needed him to stay.

  She knew it was selfish, but she didn’t give a shit if it was. All that mattered was holding him close, so that’s what she did.

  Jackie wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheek to his chest. She tightened her hold on his power, refusing to let go.

  “Don’t leave me,” she begged him. “Not yet.”

  I have to go, she heard him whisper against her mind. You’re not safe so long as I draw breath. Soulless…

  “I don’t give a fuck about that. I’ve seen your soul in your actions. You’re a good man.”

  It’s too hard. My monster has grown too strong.

  The core of him—the part of him that made him who he was—began to lift out of his body. She could see it in her mind, feel it through the luceria. It pulsed with power, streaming with thick, black branches. Within that mass was a narrow, golden ribbon wound tightly around i
t. The ribbon glowed against the darkness, stretching back into Jackie.

  His soul. That giant, powerful thing was his soul. She could feel the emptiness of it, the deep aching void that had once been filled with light and life. Gone. All of it gone now—dead and scraped hollow.

  He was right. There was nothing left of his soul to be saved. Dead was dead.

  Grief welled up inside of her, hot and fierce, clawing and tearing her apart.

  She didn’t want to live without him. Intellectually, she knew she’d eventually heal, but she’d already suffered too much. She didn’t want to suffer through his death, too.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll go with you.”

  No! He screamed it into her thoughts, shoving her back. She didn’t go far. She was tethered to him too tightly, knotted around him too many times to ever be free.

  Where you go, I go, she told him, content with her decision.

  Something ferocious and deadly broke free, shaking its huge body and stretching its powerful limbs. She could see it in her mind—inside of him—the monster he’d spoken of. She’d felt its presence before, but seeing it now, she knew why Iain feared letting it free.

  Giant, layered with thick muscle under tough skin that looked like stone, it towered in her mind, teeth bared, leathery wings spread, and clawed hands open and ready to grab her.

  Go, it growled at her. Leave us to die.

  She firmed her resolve, refusing to let something so insubstantial scare her away. No.

  We won’t let you die.

  Then stay. Stay with me. Live.

  No soul. No life.

  Then take my soul.

  The monster froze and then cocked its head to the side. It looked down on her with Iain’s eyes.

  No! she heard Iain shout from a long way off.

  Done, said the monster, its pointed teeth gleaming behind its grin.

  A horrific, wrenching pain ripped from her chest, stealing her breath. A dark presence shoved itself into her head, taking over her limbs.

  Like a puppet, she jerked to her feet. Power roared into her, but she had no control—no idea what was happening.

  Her feet lifted from the ground and she rose into the air above the battle below. Her head swiveled around until she sighted Murak slinking away.

  Her hand reached out and an instant later, Murak stopped. His body rose up and drifted closer until he was right over the crush of demons fighting her friends, her sister.

  Another swelling spike of power funneled through her, and she watched as the skin peeled back from Murak’s body. He screamed, but it did no good. His skin was stripped from him, ripping away clothing as it went. Blood rained down over the demons, distracting them from combat.

  All that energy that had been rushing through her vanished, and Murak fell into the waiting jaws of his troops. His screams rose up as he was ripped apart by the teeth of his own soldiers.

  Jackie fell to the stone floor, landing next to Iain. He was ghostly pale, unconscious, and unmoving. She tried to reach out and touch him—to make sure his heart was still beating, but her arm was too heavy.

  Sleep, she heard the monster growl, only this time that voice came from within her. You must live for me now.

  Chapter 31

  Iain woke. That alone was surprising enough. Even more surprising was the sense of peace and the utter quiet within him.

  There was no monster. No rage. He hadn’t felt like this since the day his soul had died.

  He was lying on a bed with Ronan staring down at him, concern lining his pretty face. Behind Ronan stood Helen and Drake. Cain was in the doorway. On the bed next to him was Jackie, lying far too still.

  Panic made him sit up, and a rush of dizziness slammed into him.

  “Easy,” said Ronan. “She’s fine. Just sleeping.”

  “What the hell happened?” he asked.

  “I put both you and Jackie to sleep for a few days so you could heal,” said Ronan. “I wasn’t sure either of you would make it.”

  “We’re at a Gerai house,” said Helen. Her eyes and nose were red from crying.

  Drake put his arm around his wife’s shoulders and pulled her into his embrace.

  “It wasn’t safe to move you,” said Ronan. “We almost lost you both.”

  “Where’s the girl?” asked Iain, his voice rough and dry.

  “Autumn is at Dabyr with her family, recovering at her mother’s side. So is the other woman we found.” Ronan’s gaze darkened as he said that last part, as if it upset him to speak about it.

  “Everyone’s fine,” said Drake, clearly more for Helen’s benefit than Iain’s. “We all made it out.”

  Ronan nodded. “And you woke up. I’m glad to see all is well. I wasn’t sure it would be.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Iain.

  Ronan glanced at Iain’s chest. “See for yourself.”

  He looked down and half of his lifemark was as dead and barren as ever, but the other half was green and lush with a new batch of leaves. He stared at it in shock for a long time, trying to figure out if he was still dreaming, or if this was some kind of sick joke of the afterlife. “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t, either.”

  His memories began to come back. The kidnapped girl. The caves. His inevitable death. Jackie refusing to let him go. He remembered feeling her tied so tightly around his soul that he knew if he tried to leave his body in death, she would have followed him.

  His monster. It had bargained with her, accepting the gift she offered. Her soul. Iain had tried to stop it, but he’d been too weak. He’d had no chance of regaining control of the beast.

  “Oh, God,” he breathed, the impact of what had happened barreling down on him.

  She’d given him her soul.

  Iain reached for her, diving headlong through their link. He had to give it back. He had to force her to take back her offer.

  The ethereal constructs of her mind seemed familiar to him now. He’d spent so much time connected to her that she felt like home.

  He found her lounging by a sparkling blue pool, soaking up the sun. She seemed completely at ease, completely content. She looked up at him, shielding her eyes with her hand. Her sweet body was barely covered by a bikini, her skin dewy with perspiration.

  The smile that stretched across her face drove the breath from his body with its beauty. “Care to join us?”

  “Us?”

  Her words made him notice that a few feet away on a lounge chair lay his monster, completely naked and sunbathing.

  Confusion rattled him, but that seemed only to make Jackie’s grin widen.

  “He’s not all that bad, you know,” she told him.

  Iain’s mind sputtered as he tried to make sense of her words. “Not all that…?”

  She shrugged one lovely shoulder. “A little rough around the edges, but completely trainable.”

  The monster let out an affirmative growl. “At least she doesn’t keep me locked in a fucking cage all the time.”

  This was all too surreal. None of this made any sense. Clearly he had died and this was what hell looked like.

  As if reading his mind, she chuckled. “You’re not dead. Neither am I. Neither is Stan.”

  “Stan?”

  “I thought he should have a name,” said Jackie.

  The monster smiled. “Kinda manly, don’t you think? Very human.”

  Iain had no words to express his feelings of What the fuck?

  “You need to stop worrying,” she told Iain. “Everything’s fine.”

  “The hell it is. You gave me your soul. Take it back.”

  “I tried to give you my soul. You only took half. We’re both going to be fine. I’m just going to sleep for a bit longer. Stan here had me use so much power to kill Murak that I’m still wrung dry.”

  “I’ll fix that,” promised Iain. “And then we’ll talk.”

  She and Stan went back to their sunbathing, completely ignoring him.


  Iain fell back into himself and opened his eyes. “Her soul,” he whispered to the concerned group hovering over him. “She gave me half her soul.”

  “That changes things,” said Ronan. “We didn’t even know such a thing was possible.”

  “I’m going to call Joseph,” said Drake. “Ronan’s right. This changes things.”

  He and Helen left.

  “I need to take her outside. Replenish her strength.”

  “You’re too weak to carry her,” said Ronan.

  “I’ll do it,” Cain offered.

  Iain nodded. As much as he hated seeing her in another man’s arms, it was for the best. He needed to feel the ground beneath his fingers and draw upon its strength to drive away her weakness and his.

  Ronan helped Iain stumble outside. He knelt on the cool ground and dug his fingers through the dry grass into the moist dirt below. Cain held her close enough for him to cup his left hand around her throat and allow the two halves of the luceria to connect.

  He gathered up the power of the earth and let it trickle into her. It strengthened both of them, and soon, he felt almost normal.

  Iain took Jackie from Cain’s arms and cradled her against his bare chest just as she was beginning to wake. Her gray eyes looked up into his, so full of love he wasn’t sure he could hold it all.

  He heard Ronan and Cain walk away, leaving the two of them alone under the stars.

  “We made it,” she said, her voice faint.

  “Thanks to you.”

  She smiled at him, and it warmed his very soul.

  His soul. He had one again, thanks to her.

  She laid her hand over his heart, and the branches of his lifemark swayed, stretching toward her touch.

  Tears filled Iain’s eyes and splashed down onto her wrist. “Thank you,” he told her. “Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for sharing yours with me.”

  She shrugged. “You would have done the same for me.”

  He would have. He’d do anything for her. He loved her.

  As that thought hit, his whole being swelled with the strength of it. He loved her. She’d not only saved his life but given him back the most basic of pleasures—loving another. That had been stolen from him for so long, he’d forgotten how good it felt, how restoring and peaceful it was to love.